A Breath Until Forever (19 page)

Meredith turned on the radio. She adjusted the dial until the frequency sound of its wireless transmission came on. She tweaked it until she found a good balance between a light static and pop music, and she left it right there in the middle between the 100 and the 103 dial. 101.2 The Cliff. A local radio station that was sent from Raleigh, North Carolina.

“For All We Know” The radio blared. “The Carpenters” The speakers of the radio were shot, and sound could barely trickle out of the silver screen meshing, however the song still managed to play effectively.

“I like this song.” He said. “We play lots of music at work. This comes on the radio station quite often.”

He could say anything and she would fight for his words. She tried to make sense of what she was feeling, but pushed them back in her mind, . The faint shutting of the backdoor  played in the background as Izzy went outside so that she may lay on the front porch. They really were alone now.

Meredith smiled softly at him. She offered an offer he couldn't refuse. “Do you want a beer?”

Joshua smiled back. “Thought you would never ask.” He said.

“It's been a good day. Time to celebrate with a cold one.”

“I agree.”

As Meredith dug deep into the refrigerator , Joshua said. “I enjoy my time with you Meredith.”

“As so do I with you.”

Meredith opened up a beer, then set one on the table for Joshua. 

Joshua picked up the bottle, and took a long hard sip. It was refreshing. The icy cold beer felt so good going down his throat. It was hot tonight, and so he had been parched, and not water could have extinguished the thirst that he was having.

Joshua looked over at Meredith happily. Meredith could drink a beer like any man, but yet there was a femininity about her that when she drank it, was slow and sensual.

Joshua was pleased with how she looked, and even though the sun made her sweat, and the Carolina dirt made her dirty, there was a woman in her that always came out that. She crossed her leg, the hem of her jeans shorts riding up even further into the crotch area. He adjusted himself against the counter from which he leaned against, a beer in his left hand, his other arm with the elbow against the counter top. He loved her legs. They were so lean, yet muscular, making a bow shape between her calves, and her upper thighs. But it wasn't just her legs that made her so damn gorgeous, but it was everything about her, from her legs, to her waist and he noticed his stare riding up her body, every inch, as if an escalator of sight, was crawling up her.

“Looks like your legs got a lot of sun.” He said noticing how pale white they were the first day that she got here but after a couple of days of sun they had turned into a glowing honey color.

She looked at her legs, then felt them herself, while touching them softly. Her touching herself, turned Joshua on. “Yeah, I always bronze well.” She commented, feeling the smoothness of her legs turn her on as well.

Nothing wrong was going on between them, right? They were only walking and talking, having a little fun between them, and occasionally flirting that was innocent in nature. But good reasoning screamed at Joshua. Could he continue this? What exactly was going on? Was there more going on then Joshua wanted to admit? More then Meredith wanted to admit? Shouldn't he be in Raleigh now, working, busting his ass, earning money to pay the debts on the ranch, slaving away over hot iron steel? Or perhaps he should be out on the town, over at Kiley's, trying to hook up with one of the girls at the bar. And just maybe he should have even been elsewhere, anywhere but here, trying to gain the interest of Rebecca Stairns, the pretty young 20 something girl who owned the tiny art gallery on Main St.. Just the other day before Meredith had come barreling into town, he had noticed her at Laura's Cafe while grabbing a cup of coffee before work, and she had noticed him, and they had exchanged a brief flirtatious moment. And maybe, just maybe, he should be playing his harmonica, using music to heal his grieving heart, underneath the glowing baths of the moonlight, the violet meadows and the oak trees, all listening audiences of applaud. These inner voices were heavy within his conscious, and he tried desperately to suppress them, and he succeeded, but it wasn't without allowing them to temporarily fade his lust for Meredith. The beautiful woman before him, who turned on the radio, so that she may regress back to those immaculate years of innocence.  

Another song came on the radio. “When a Man Loves a Woman” by Percy Sledge. It was much slower than “For All We Know” and much more sensual, and it put a certain undertone of romanticism in the air. As it played, both Meredith and Joshua heard the mutual eroticism in the singing of love and the human condition, and both felt an equal sense of nervousness as it heightened at the chorus. The lyrics pushed inner voices deep within their souls to confess something that they had not wanted to know, that they liked each other more then friends, and the line between friendship and lovers blurred immensely. But as the song continued to play, there was nowhere else to go then to move forward, and so the two strangers from two completely different worlds, moved on to write their own story that would change the value of love forever.

“
Would you like to dance?” Asked Joshua.

Meredith gave out a look of shock. She couldn't believe that Joshua was asking her to dance. It made her feel uncomfortable and awkward, all at the same time. When she didn't answer, Joshua instantly felt rejected.

“It's okay if you say no, it's just that Adrienne and I used to dance to the radio sometimes and quite honestly I kind of miss that.”

Meredith flashed Joshua a look of disbelief. She appeared rather shocked that he danced. He didn't appear the dancing type. Although sweet and kind, he was aggressively masculine in the way he talked, walked and dressed, and dancing seemed like it would be abnormal behavior for him, and something that he would avoid at all costs.

“You dance?” A very shocked Meredith asked inquisitively.

“You seem surprised.” Joshua retaliated.

“Well, I am.” Replied Meredith, her feelings of jarring astonishment still not dissipating. “I mean, you ride bulls. Your a bull rider. Not a dancer.”

“Sure, I'm probably not much of a dancer than your used to, going to fancy dinners and stuff, but I can handle a little steppin'. That is, if you'll let me, and don't mind me stepping on your feet every now and then.”

Meredith smiled. “Well, I don't know..” She was hesitant about dancing with Joshua. Not because she didn't like to dance, but because it meant she would be close to Joshua, something she didn't want because she knew if she got close to him, her inhibitions may outweigh the strength of her consciousness, and she may fall into something physical with him and she may regret it.

“Listen, if you don't wanna dance, I would absolutely understand. Dancin' with a cowboy isn't for everyone.” 

They both looked away momentarily as Izzy had let herself back in, after scratching at the door for awhile, until the door had opened completely, the screen door slamming up hard against the inside of the door frame.

Joshua blushed. “I guess you don't want to.”

Meredith had momentarily been interrupted by the dog's intrusion, and even though she was going to answer, she has hesitated until the dog had left himself back in. “No, no I do.” Meredith had been hesitant, but had decided that she could use a dance, and she would take the risk of

Meredith's cheeks gave off a rosy glow. “I really want to. It's been awhile for me, actually. Not since Spain where I went to a masquerade ball. I haven't danced for awhile since.”

“Why not?”

“I don't know?” She almost questioned it herself. “Benjamin  doesn't like to dance, and well, I've been asked to dance by other gentleman, but it never felt right.”

Joshua came up to her, beer still in hand. She took the beer and placed it down on the table. “You may be a better dancer if you put this down.” She teased with a warm smile.

They began to dance. Both felt mutually awkward. They shouldn't be dancing, but it felt so good to dance. There was a freedom within their dancing. It was a freedom that was felt only when you died, and only when you were born.

Joshua took her hand, put his arm around her waist and they moved together in harmony. They danced as if there life depended on it, swaying to the sentimental melody, feeling all their muscles, all of their body's strengths, awakening alive and strong. They danced as if dancing was easy for them, even if it hadn't been. They had to make an effort, Meredith angling herself ever so right, and Joshua directing his arm so that it pulled Meredith even closer to his body.

He could smell her, as they danced. She smelled clean and fresh. She wore the scent of lavenders on a fresh Spring morning. Her smell was a huge aphrodisiac for him, and the more he danced with her, the more he smelled her, and he leaned in closer and closer, as if being magnetically pulled in by the hypnotizing spell of her aromatic skin. And she could smell him too, a musky scent that was floral and woody, intermingling with the masculinity of sandalwood. She couldn't help but think that his cologne matched the fragrance of pine needles of the great Engelmann Spruce that she painted while on a work trip in Buena Vista, Colorado. She liked his unique smell, and it turned on all five of her senses, wanting to see him naked, touch him while naked, hear him as he moaned while he made love, taste his skin, and feel his naked body as she seduced him with the trailing of hungry fingers. She closed her eyes for a brief moment, and pictured him temporarily, fantasizing all of this, but consciousness woke her up, and she blinked it off, waking back up to reality.  

“You smell nice.” Joshua complimented at the same moment that Meredith had awakened.

“Thank you Joshua.” She said, slightly blushing. “You smell good too.”

They continued to dance. Slowly. Meredith thought that life is always beautiful when you put it into slow motion. They danced in no particular direction, almost steady like, and in place. They danced cheek to cheek, their legs leaning against one another, their chests pressing against one another, closely, intimately, instinctively. 

The song faded away, transitioning into a faster paced song, dissipating any kind of slow movement of the older song to completely evaporate. But even though the song ended, Joshua still held on to her tightly, and they stayed together in a fantasy like moment. They didn't care about the song that played in the background anymore, rather they were dancing to a new melody not heard on the radio. The song of beating hearts. Their beating hearts. Their new creation of a melody were much more synchronized, much more intimate, and much more special. They kept dancing through two more songs that the radio harvested musically, and as the crickets quibbled in the arrival of a South Carolina twilight. And they continued dancing as their bodies grew warm, and their loins became wet, and they felt the connection that they had felt spiritually before, manifest into something bigger, stronger than this special moment of time.

“Your a really good dancer.” Sighed Meredith, feeling the warmth surround her like an aura of serendipity.

“Thank you.” Said Joshua, feeling equally the same. And although Meredith was much older than him, he felt they were the same age now, as they both felt something special that

“Your not so bad yourself.” Reciprocated Joshua.

As they danced, he could feel the softness of her breasts as they leaned up against his chest. In return, she could feel the hardness of him as they leaned up against hers. He had tight muscles, due to working intensively on the ranch, and each individual strength could be felt through the light cotton shirt that he wore. Each time he moved, she could feel his muscles yearning, to grow even closer to her. 

Joshua was a real man, the most real man that she had ever possibly known, and she could feel that intensity in the way he gave himself to her as they danced to the orchestra magnificence of their drumming hearts. 

He bent over slightly, placing his cheek so intimately against hers. She instantly felt a warmth surge through her body. With each second, with each move, he was moving closer to her, nearer to her, and was intimately conducting himself into her soul, so deep.

They had spent so much time together, which had forged a cherished kinship, but it was the first time that their bodies bridged a bond to heighten that connection. She loved how their bodies moved with each others, almost as if they were born to dance together this way.