A Christmas Bride (18 page)

“You are the one who insisted I adopt them. You
are
the most stable adult presence in their lives. Would you subject them to more upheaval by leaving them so soon after they came to be here? Are they nothing to you?”

“No. Of course not.” She hated what he was saying. “I don’t know what I was going to do. Of course I’d help you hire someone else. Someone to replace me.”

“Would you? Or was your plan to take them with you?”

She ducked her head. “I thought of that, too.”

“Did you think that would be allowed? This is El Deharia. No one may take royal children from the country without their parents’ permission. I will not give it.”

Kayleen could only stare at him. Of course. Thanks to her, he
was
their father and his rules applied. She hadn’t thought that part through, either.

“It’s all a mess.”

“No decision has to be made now,” he said. “We will find a solution together. Do you have any other secrets you are keeping from me?”

“What? No. Never. And I would have told you about leaving.” She leaned toward him. “As’ad, I wasn’t trying to trick you about anything. I was desperate for Tahir not to take the girls back to his village.”

Somehow he wasn’t at the far end of the sofa anymore, she thought as he reached out and lightly stroked her cheek. “I believe you.”

“Good, because it’s true. I just...” She had a hard time stringing words together. His touch was very distracting. “I love your country. It’s beautiful. I love the modern city and the wildness of the desert. I love your people, the kindness of them. You were right about Tahir only wanting to do the right thing, even if I don’t agree with him. I’ve been learning so much about the villages while researching my project for you. This is an amazing place.”

“But it is not home?”

She shook her head slowly. “I feel safe at the convent. That probably sounds stupid to a man like you.”

“Feeling safe is important, especially when one did not grow up with that benefit. But there is so much more for you to experience than what you will find behind the convent walls.”

“I like the convent walls.”

“They lock you in.”

“They shelter you.”

He smiled gently. “From life. That is not a good thing.”

Getting back had been her goal from the moment she’d been told she must leave and live in the world. Those words had broken her heart. It was like being thrown out of her home.

“Those walls protect me,” she told him.

He looked at her intently. “
I
will protect you.”

Then he leaned in and kissed her.

It was as if she’d been waiting for his kiss all her life. The second his mouth touched her, she felt both relief and an odd tension.

His lips were warm and firm, asking rather than taking, making her want to give all that he asked and more. He brushed against her, exploring, remembering perhaps. She remembered everything about their heated kiss in the desert. The feel of his body against hers, the hard planes and strength of him. The way he’d held her so tenderly, the taste and heat of him.

Those memories combined with the wonder of his kiss to make her strain forward, as she eagerly waited to experience it again. She parted without being asked and was rewarded when he licked her bottom lip before slipping inside.

He kissed her deeply, exploring all of her. She put her hands on his shoulders, as much to steady herself as to touch him, then kissed him back, stroking, dueling, dancing. It was magical, something more wondrous than she’d ever imagined. It was as if she were melting from the inside out.

Again and again he kissed her, taking his time, making her feel as if the magic could go on forever. He stroked her back, moving up and down. Oddly, that touch made her want to squirm in place. If only he would touch her breasts again, she thought hazily. If only he would put his hands there, like he had before.

And because that’s what she wanted and because she trusted him fully, she let him ease her onto the sofa, until she was nearly lying down.

He pulled back and stared into her eyes. “You are so beautiful,” he murmured before kissing her cheekbones, her nose, her forehead, then her jaw.

Beautiful? Her? She’d seen her reflection a thousand times. Sometimes she thought she might be pretty, but other times, she knew she was just like everyone else.

“Your skin is so soft and pale,” he continued as he nibbled his way down her jaw to her neck. It both tickled and aroused, so she stayed very still, wanting him to continue forever.

“Then you blush and the fiery color delights me.”

“I’m a redhead,” she whispered. “Blushing comes with the package.”

“It is a glorious package.” He touched her hair. “So cool to the touch. I have fantasies about your hair.”

“Seriously?”

“Seriously.”

He kissed her again and she kissed him back, but all the while she was wondering what fantasies he could have about her hair? It was just hair, wasn’t it? Long and wavy and very red.

He kissed her chin, then trailed down her neck. She’d never thought about a man’s lips on her neck and was unprepared for the electric sensations that shot through her, making her toes curl and her insides tighten.

He put his hand on her belly. Even through the layers of clothing, she felt the warmth and each individual finger. He moved up slowly, so slowly. Her breath caught in anticipation.

Touch me there, she whispered to herself, closing her eyes and waiting until he finally settled his palm on her breast.

The feeling was exquisite. She wanted more of that, but didn’t know how to ask. He kissed her ear, which was a distraction, then nipped her earlobe, which was delicious. Everything felt so good that she barely noticed when he unbuttoned the front of her dress and eased the fabric open.

She supposed her first instinct should have been to cover herself, but she didn’t want to. She wanted to know what it would feel like to have his hand there, on her breast, with only her bra between them.

And then she knew. He touched her gently, almost teasing, fingers lightly brushing her skin. He moved against her tight nipple. She groaned. It wasn’t a sound she’d ever made before and she wanted desperately to have reason to make it again.

He explored both breasts, then reached behind her to unfasten her bra. He eased his hand under the cup and touched her again. This time bare skin on bare skin.

It was amazing, she thought, her body practically shaking. She hadn’t known she was capable of such sensations. More. She wanted more. More touching, more naked, more kissing, more everything.

As’ad drew back and stood. She opened her eyes and wondered what she’d done wrong. Why was he stopping? Then he bent down and picked her up in his arms. He cradled her against him and kissed her, even as he began to walk across the rug toward the bedroom.

It was the most romantic moment of her life. As they stepped into the darkness of her bedroom, she knew that she wanted to be with him, to experience making love with him. Perhaps there should have been questions or fears, but her mind was free of both. She only knew that her body seemed to recognize him and welcome him. He made her tremble and feel and she wanted more of that.

He lowered her to her feet, then closed the door behind them and turned on a bedside lamp. The light was dim, which was probably better, because as much as she wanted more, she was a little nervous about being naked. People did get naked when they made love, didn’t they?

She thought about asking, but then he was kissing her again and speaking seemed really unimportant. His hands were everywhere, gently easing her dress from her shoulders so it puddled at her feet, then removing her bra.

Even as he stroked her tongue with his, he put both his hands on her breasts, cupping the curves and teasing her nipples with his thumbs. It was good—better than good. It was amazing.

Her body was suddenly a great unknown to her. She didn’t have any idea about what she would experience next, but she wanted it all.

When he bent his head down and took her breast in his mouth, she gasped, then grabbed him to help herself stay standing. Fire roared through her, settling between her legs where the heat grew.

She knew the mechanics of what went on between a man and a woman, but she’d never imagined it could be so
good.
He moved back and forth between her breasts, licking them with his tongue, sucking until she wanted to scream. It was amazing and arousing and intriguing.

When he moved them to the bed, she went eagerly, wanting to know what else there could be, what other experiences she could have. He removed the rest of her clothes and she shocked herself by not minding that she was naked. Not when he stared down at her with a fire even she could see in his eyes.

“I want you,” he breathed. “All of you. Kayleen, I want to touch you and taste you and be inside of you. But I will not take what isn’t offered.”

He had her at “I want you.” She reached out to touch his hand, then gently tugged until he knelt next to her.

“You are eager?” he asked quietly.

“I’m shameless. I want you to touch me.” She couldn’t say the other stuff, but she was thinking it. She wanted to know what it was like to be with a man—to be with
him.

He removed his shoes and socks, then shrugged out of his shirt. His chest was broad and muscled, with a light dusting of hair she itched to touch. Then he stretched out next to her and smiled.

“I will go slowly,” he told her, tracing the shape of her mouth with his finger. “Tell me if anything frightens you or hurts you and I will stop.”

“I know it’s going to hurt when you, um, well, you know.”

His smile faded. “It will, for a moment. Do you wish to stop?”

She shook her head.

“Good. Neither do I.”

He took her hand in his and brought it below his waist. She felt the hard thickness of him.

“This is what you do to me,” he told her. “This is what touching you does to me.”

His words and his arousal filled her with a feminine power she’d never experienced before. It hadn’t occurred to her that a man could
want
her that way. Or any way. A shiver raced through her as desire and anticipation both grew.

He leaned in and kissed her again. His hand settled on her stomach, an unfamiliar weight. She told herself not to think about it, but then he was moving down her belly to the apex of her thighs.

His touch was light and gentle, more teasing than insisting. When he reached the curls only slightly darker than her hair color, she wasn’t sure what to do.

A single finger eased between the curls. It explored her, which was really sort of nice. She wouldn’t mind him touching her more if he—

He brushed against the very center of her. She’d heard about that place, of course, but had wondered how she would ever know if she was touched there. Stupid question, she thought happily as delicious, erotic fire raced through her. She knew. How could she not know?

He moved against that place again and her legs fell open of their own accord. She found it difficult to breathe.

He continued to touch her there, moving lightly across that single spot, rubbing it, circling it, making her body tremble and heat and strain. She barely noticed when he stopped kissing her because his touch was so exquisite. She closed her eyes and let herself get lost in the sensation.

Around and around. He moved against her, going faster now. She found herself pulsing her hips in time with his touch. She strained but wasn’t sure toward what. He bent down and took her nipple in his mouth. The combination of sensations made her gasp.

It was too much. A direct connection between her legs and her breasts. She grabbed at the sheets, trying to push herself toward...toward...

Her body tensed. She felt every muscle clench, which probably wasn’t a good thing, but what he was doing felt too good for her to stop. Then time seemed to pause as she hovered on the brink of—

The wave of sensation caught her off guard. It was unlike anything she’d experienced before. Liquid pleasure poured through her as her muscles contracted. It was frenzied and amazing and she was terrified if she did anything at all, it would end suddenly.

But the moment went on and she lost herself in what she realized was her first orgasm. She allowed herself to breathe and the bliss continued. Tension faded, muscles relaxed, until she felt content and satisfied and more than a little shocked such a thing was possible.

As’ad moved his fingers away. She opened her eyes and stared up at him.

“I want to do that again,” she told him.

He laughed. “So you enjoy the lovemaking?”

“Who wouldn’t? Can that happen again? Can it happen now?”

He rose onto his hands and knees. “As you wish, Kayleen. We will try another game. But a gentle one. I don’t want you to hurt later.”

Later was a long time away, she thought as he settled between her legs and gently parted her curls.

It was obvious he was going to kiss her
there,
which was shocking and something she probably should refuse. Except what he’d done before had been so amazing. Could this be as good?

She sank back onto the bed and closed her eyes. A soft whisper of breath was her only warning, then his mouth pressed against her and his tongue touched her more intimately than she’d ever thought possible.