A Curvy Christmas (6 page)

“I’m not going straight away,” He pulled her close to him again. “And I would like to come back if that’s OK.”

She wriggled around in his arms, and smoothed her fingers through his hair. “Oh course it’s OK. What, do you think now I’ve used your body for some sexual relief I’m going to chuck you out.”

“That’s just it, I don’t know where we go from here. Up until you walked into the gallery yesterday afternoon, I didn’t think I’d be seeing you again.”

She sighed. “Listen, you go and sort Carl out, and then come back here. Let’s talk, I mean really talk. We both swear to be honest with each other and let’s see if we can sort out the mess I’ve made.”

“It’s not just your mess. I could have handled things better. I guess my pride got in the way of what I really wanted.”

“OK, we can blame you, it works for me.”

“Are you always going to twist my words.”

“Yes, if it suits me.”

“One thing I love about you Robin. Life is never boring.”

“There will be times when you wish that wasn’t the case, I promise you.”

“I don’t think I will. Being with you makes me feel alive.”

“And you make me feel safe, Greg.”

“Why because I’m nice?”

She smiled, stroking his cheek with the back of her hand. “You’re never going to let that go are you?”

“That depends.”

“On what?”

“Before we go any further Robin, before I leave. I need to know if this is the start of forever, or is this a bit of entertainment to fill the time that Max is way?”

“Is that what you think?”

“I don’t know.” He looked at her, and shook his head. “No. That’s not what I think.”

“Good, because I’m expecting you back in a couple of hours.” She sat up, and then pulled the covers up around her. “I need a shower. And you need to track down Carl and make sure he’s got everything he needs. I am expecting you to stay tonight. It’s Christmas day tomorrow, and you are the only present I want this year.”

“OK, you don’t have to make fun of me.”

“No. I mean it, Greg.” She slipped her hand around his neck and drew him close. “I want this to last. Surely it means something that we found each other after all these years.”

“Seven years and three months.”

“So you said,” she kissed him, and he pulled her close, his arms holding her tight against his body. It would be so easy to stay like this, for him not to leave. But she needed some time to get her head together. “Now. Go. I will see you later.”

She got up and went to the bathroom, before she shut the door, she said, “See yourself out. Come back when you’re ready, but please don’t bring Carl.”

He was out of bed, and retrieving his clothes, pulling his pants back on, leaving her one last look at his wonderful chest before he put one arm into the sleeve of his shirt. “Don’t worry, I won’t.” He looked up at her and grinned. “He is not going to ruin Christmas for us.”

“Good. I want you all to myself.” She shut the door behind her and leaned back against it, listening for him to leave.

“See you in a couple of hours,” he shouted.

“I can’t wait,” she called back. But was that true?

“What is wrong with you?” Her voice choked with tears.

Pushing herself away from the door she made herself turn the shower on, and when the water was steaming hot she stepped under the hard jet, hoping it would drum some sense into her stupid brain.

What was she so afraid of? A question she knew the answer to, but hated to admit. The problem was if she was serious about Greg, she would have to own up to her past. All the sordid bits no one else knew, not even Max. It was what had driven her to Hawaii, her need to escape. It was the thing that had driven her into the arms of Carl. Carefree, handsome Carl. A man she knew would expect nothing more than sex, because she had known then that she was no good for anyone worthwhile.

The rest of her relationships had also been based on those same metrics. She had gone out of her way to choose men who had no intention of having a long term relationship, she could see that now. Being with Greg had highlighted how bad her choices were, the worst thing is they had always been subconscious choices. If she could spend so long hiding from herself, how would she cope with laying herself bare for a man she barely knew.

However, she couldn’t lose her heart to a man who might be turned off by her past. He was such a good man, and she was so tainted.

Turning her face upwards she let the water splash on to her face, hoping it would wash her clean, but knowing there were some things that stained you forever.

***

Baking had always been her release. Today was not going to be an exception. Opening the cupboards she fetched flour, sugar and anything else she could turn into something delicious. Chocolate, cream and lots of different flavours and fillings. For the next two hours she worked until she forgot everything apart from how perfect her sponge turned out and how well risen her bread was.

When Greg knocked on the door he was confronted with a feast, rich warm smells assaulting his senses.

“I have missed your cooking.”

“I don’t remember baking for you.”

“Yes, a couple of months ago, you came around to see me. I confess I had planned it as a date, but then chickened out. Do you remember you turned up with two platefuls of scones, home-made jam ... delicious.”

“Greg. I thought it was me who had misinterpreted you. I swear you’ve driven me to the brink of insanity.”

“Sorry,” he said, pinching a profiterole.

“You will be. You’re not leaving here until all this is eaten.”

“Oh, my god. That is wonderful.” He licked his lips, and his fingers as he finished. “Why don’t you do this for a living?”

“Because I don’t think I could stand being told what to cook.” She offered him another, which he took. “Last one until after lunch.”

“You mean we’re not going to just eat cakes? It’s Christmas you know.”

“No. We have a healthy lunch first. While I’m finishing up here you can tell me how you got on with Carl.”

“I found him asleep in the foyer. He had persuaded the doorman to let him in, and then he had crashed. I had to give the doorman an extra bottle of brandy as a Christmas gift to stop him complaining about the rules of the building being broken to me.”

“Did he have to help you carry him to your apartment?”

“No. Luckily he wasn’t too hung over. I don’t think his evening worked out as he planned, he looked exhausted. So I’ve left him sleeping it off. I’ve told him to order in what he needs.”

“Expensive.”

“Yes, but it means I can stay here with you,” he said, coming to her and putting his arms around her waist.

She tilted her head back and smiled at him, in return he kissed her cheek. “I’m glad.”

“So am I. Now, what do you need me to do?”

“If you can get the knives and forks. I’ve grabbed what Christmas stuff I could find, some napkins and a centre piece. I had planned to forget about the whole thing, but since you’re here too I thought I should try to make an effort.”

“I wouldn’t have minded. Just being here with you beats my plans.”

“Which were? If you weren’t expecting Carl, what had you planned to do?”

“Not a lot.”

“You weren’t going to family?”

“No.” He looked at her for a fleeting moment and then went back to placing cutlery in the table.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t pry.” But she wanted to know why he wasn’t going home.

“It’s not a big deal, really.” He shrugged before continuing. “They pushed me so hard when I was at school. By the time I’d left college I was burned out. We had a big argument, and I ended up in Hawaii with Carl against their wishes. They kind of disowned me for a while. Then when I came back to England, and decided to earn some money in the City, they expected everything to go back to how it was, as if they’d won.”

“Oh, I didn’t know things were bad between you and them. You never said.”

“Stiff upper lip, you know. I was a public school boy, they had spent all this money on my education, I suppose they had a right to freak out. But they tried to push me into doing things I knew would kill me emotionally. I was young, and when Carl said about going to Hawaii, I wanted that freedom. Stupid thing is, if they had just let me go I’d have had a vacation, had some fun, and then gone home and buckled down again. I had never rebelled until then.”

“Parents. They are bad for you, you know.” She hadn’t meant to say that, so she covered it up by adding. “You know Max had to stand up to hers.”

“Yes, you said. I love mine, but they never once treated me as an adult. I respect them, but they just don't get me. It all started again when I left my job and opened the gallery. So I decided not to put myself through it this Christmas. I’m happy, I don’t need them telling me I shouldn’t be.”

She placed a plate down in front of him, and then sat opposite him before asking, “A gallery. That is a strange choice of career for a city boy.”

“I know. But I love how people who paint are free to express themselves in such different ways. Every artist sees something different in the thing they paint. No two are ever the same. Especially the great masters. I wanted some of that to rub off on me. I want to be unique.”

She laughed, nearly choking on her food. “Is that why you took a shine to me. Max is always telling me how unique I am. Sometimes I don’t think it’s a compliment.”

“Well, it should be. You are never afraid of anything. I can’t see that you would run away from criticism.”

“I’ve run away plenty. Don’t think you know everything about me Greg. We all have pasts, some worse than others.”

“A woman of mystery. Now I am intrigued,” he teased.

She placed her fork down, and looked at him sadly. “You wouldn’t be. If you knew the truth about me you’d probably be out of that door like a shot.”

“Hey, Robin. There’s little you could say to me that would make me leave, honestly.”

“You can’t say that. You don’t know.”

“And are you going to tell me?”

“I have to, don’t I? You asked me earlier if this was a brief fling. Well, that might not be my decision. You might decide to dump me.”

He reached across the table and placed his hand over hers, squeezing it gently. “I’m ready to listen, and not judge, whenever you want to tell me. OK?” he asked, she looked down at her half eaten food, he squeezed her hand again. “OK?”

“Yes,” she answered.

“So do you want to talk now or later?”

“Later, let’s finish eating, and perhaps open a bottle of wine. Then we’ll talk.”

“We’ve got all day, and all night, Robin. So take your time.”

She looked up and smiled at him. “Thank you, Greg.”

He smiled. “You are welcome. And don’t worry, having Carl for a friend for so long means there is little that will shock me.”

“I should have invited him around. I would have had an excuse not to tell you.”

“I’m glad you didn’t. This is worrying you, so the sooner we get past it the better.”

She blew the air out of her cheeks. “I think it will be a relief to be honest. I’ve never told anyone.”

“Then share it with me, and then let it go.”

“If only it was that easy.”

“I will do my best to make it that easy.”

He was such a good man, she thought, looking at him across the table from her. Probably too good for a woman like her.

Intrigued by what she had to tell him, he also knew when to be patient. It was one of the character traits that had made him so successful at trading in the city. Know when to get in, and when to get out. He was an expert, and he would allow Robin all the time she needed. His only hope was that she would have the strength to speak to him about, what must be, a very traumatic episode in her life.

Understandably, his imagination began to work over time. What could be so bad that she was frightened to tell him? Had she stolen something in her younger days? No, not big enough surely. His mind whirled, and then his instinct kicked in. Whatever it was, he doubted it was a thing she had done. Perhaps it was what someone had done to her.

At that point he stopped himself. Don’t go making assumptions. They will only get you broke. That was what he had told himself at work, and it seemed a true analogy now. His imagination might leave him with a broken heart, to Greg, a thing much worse than a broken bank balance.

They finished eating, the mood between them charged. They cleared the dishes, conversation light and superficial. He only hoped she would tell him soon.

“OK. So lets look at what wine we have. Wow, the alcohol in this apartment is rather on the low side. I don’t suppose you want to go down to the store and grab some more. I think it might be a long night, and then there’s Christmas lunch tomorrow. I hope you don’t mind, I don’t have a turkey and all the trimmings.”

“No problem. It beats the pizza I was planning on having.”

“Pizza. At least you were going to cook, I was going to stick a frozen meal in the microwave while I cried over a movie.”

“Do you want me to see what I can pick up?”

“OK. Don’t worry though, I have some beef I could take out of the freezer.” She held the fridge open assessing what else they might need. “We can manage. I hate sending you out, I should have gone while you were sorting Carl out this morning.”

“It’s no problem. I’ll be back in half an hour.” He shrugged his coat on, and kissed her on the cheek. “You are still going to be here when I get back?”

She laughed. “Of course. I’ve made up my mind to tell you, and I am not going back on that.”

“Good. I’ll see you soon.”

He went out of the apartment once more feeling as though she couldn’t wait to get rid of him. Still, if she needed a few minutes to get herself together that was fine with him. The fresh air would do him good, and as he went out he smelled the crisp air.

Snow. It was going to be a white Christmas after all. With any luck he would get snowed in with Robin, unable to leave her apartment until he had made love to her in every way he knew. He only hoped he could please her, that she wouldn’t grow bored of him.