A Dad of His Own (3 page)

“It’s harder on him.” She lowered her head. “He’s a great kid. You should meet him.”

A jolt of panic shot through him. He’d like to meet her
son. He’d like to get to know her, but cancer? Again? “You sound like a proud mom.”

“I am. He’s a brave boy. Never complains about the treatment, and he’s very optimistic.”

The urge to flee came over him, soon usurped by shame. A little boy without a dad. Or maybe he had a dad who spent time with him. “I’m sure his dad’s proud of him, too.”

Her face darkened, and Ethan realized he’d made a grave error.

“Cooper doesn’t see his father.” Her jaw tightened, and she looked away. “Mrs. Carlson.”

Lexie’s arm jerked as Ethan looked up at the mechanic.

“I found a nail embedded in the tire. The repair will take about twenty minutes.”

She glanced at him. “Ethan, is this okay with you?”

He nodded, his mind scrambling to find a new topic to discuss. His job—anything to keep him from thinking about the little boy with cancer and no dad.

“I should call the sitter. She might worry.” Lexie dug into her bag and pulled out her cell. “I’ll just step outside.”

She rose and strode to the door while Ethan watched her through the window, disappointed at his sense of relief. Somewhere in his crazy mind, he’d been attracted to this woman with the amazing eyes and captivating manner, but his dream had been shot down by one word. Cancer. Laine’s face filled Ethan’s mind. They’d had such hopes and dreams. She’d looked radiant when her CA 125 test came back with good results, and she’d been so brave each time the report was bad news. He’d lived with heartbreak for over two years. He couldn’t watch it happen again. Not to a little boy.

“C
an I go to school today, Mom?” Dressed in his jungle-print pajamas, Cooper leaned his head against his mother’s arm, his thick hair only a memory. His chemo treatments had taken their toll.

“Not today, Coop.” Lexie swallowed her dismay and ran her hand across his bald scalp. She would be overjoyed when he would greet her once again in the morning with his usual bed-tousled hair. “Maybe in a couple more weeks. We have to talk with Dr. Herman first.” She managed a bright smile even though she ached for him. “Brush your teeth and get dressed while I make you breakfast.”

“Cinnamon buns?”

An honest chuckle lightened her mood. Her son had the same propensity that she did for those gooey, fattening treats. “Let’s eat healthy today. How about scrambled eggs?”

He curled up his nose. “Okay.”

While he meandered toward his room, Lexie pulled herself from the table where she’d enjoyed her morning coffee before sitting behind her computer, her graphic design program open. She’d always been grateful that her career as a graphic designer allowed her to work from home and still make a living.

She opened the refrigerator and tackled the eggs, and by the time Cooper reappeared, she’d prepared eggs with cheese—he liked that—and toast with jelly. The jelly offered him the sweet taste that took the place of the cinnamon buns he really wanted. The lesser of two evils. “How are you feeling today?”

“Good.” He grinned.

Good had become his standard answer so she took that with a balance of reality. She would know soon enough by his behavior. Yesterday she’d noticed a small bruise on his arm. Bruises triggered a gut-wrenching fear when she saw them. Bruising had been one of the symptoms that caused her to question Cooper’s health.

“If you’re so good, then you need to study your arithmetic today. Work on your addition and subtraction.”

His nose curled again, but he didn’t object. If she could avoid his whining, it would be a good day for her also.

Cooper’s fork dove into the eggs, and he nibbled on his toast, washing it down with milk. He had eyes shaped like hers, only a slightly darker shade of blue. His brown hair had the same highlights hers had in the sunlight, and she longed to see the day when he had a full head of hair again. She had given birth to him, and no one who saw them together could argue the point.

She smiled as she cleared the dishes, and when Cooper finished, he vanished to his room, where she hoped he was doing his schoolwork. She would check after another cup of coffee. Adding more to her mug, Lexie sank into the chair, her mind once again shifting to Ethan Fox. Questions had arisen since the day they’d met. What had happened? He’d seemed so friendly and more than thoughtful, but when he finished replacing her tire, he’d said goodbye and walked off without a look backward. The memory hurt.

Though foolish, she’d let him add a bit of excitement to her
day. Even now when she pictured him, her pulse sizzled. The attraction happened fast, but the seeming rejection happened even faster. She didn’t know how to handle rejections or her unexpected feelings. Too many years had passed since she’d experienced the skittering emotions she associated with going gaga over a man. The last time was college. The memory settled like a lump in her stomach.

When the doorbell sounded, Lexie sat a moment, questioning who it could be. Rosie Smith, the visiting teacher, was scheduled to come on Friday. Today was Monday. Company wasn’t usual. She pushed back her chair and strode to the front door. When she pulled it open, she found Kelsey Rhodes standing on her porch with a sheepish grin.

“Sorry I didn’t call. I was out and just thought I’d see if you were home.”

Lexie pushed open the screen door and stepped back, feeling relief mixed with an emotion she didn’t understand. “Anytime. I always like to see you.” But Ethan’s warm eyes filled her mind. “How’s Lucy?”

“Good. She’s in school this week again. No setbacks.”

Lexie gave her a hug, disguising the envy she felt. “I’m having coffee. Join me. Come into the kitchen.” She closed the door and led the way to the coffeepot.

Kelsey leaned against the counter, watching her fill the mug.

Lexie sensed Kelsey had something on her mind, and she knew it would take time to really get to the bottom of it. She set Kelsey’s cup on the table and refilled her own. Kelsey pulled her hip away from the counter and slipped onto a chair. Lexie joined her without prodding the conversation. Kelsey would talk when she was ready.

Finally her friend broke the silence. “I’ve been thinking about Dreams Come True.”

Lexie sipped her coffee while air escaped her lungs. Ethan
plowed back into her thoughts. He could easily make someone’s dream come true.

“I’d love to apply.”

Pulling her focus back to the topic, Lexie reflected on Kelsey’s statement. “Then do it. It sounds like a tremendous opportunity.” Cooper’s eager gaze swept through her mind.

Kelsey shrugged. “I don’t know. Things are going well, and I suppose I’m afraid if…”

Lexie searched her face. “Afraid if what? Lucy would be a wonderful candidate for the program. Think of all she’s been through and how well she’s doing now.” Bitterness poked at her again. Cooper’s journey had been slow, and he deserved a trip as much as anyone. He was a great kid. But reality was reality. Cooper hadn’t progressed as well as Lucy.

“I worry it’s bad luck.” She pressed her lips together and wet them with her tongue. “I’m ashamed to say that, but that’s what I’m feeling. We get our hopes up, and then they come crashing down. It’s like we’re tempting fate.”

Lexie had to stop her eyes from gaping. “Fate?”

Kelsey flinched and lowered her head. “I know. And that’s why I’m ashamed of myself. I should have faith and not worry about fate.”

“Don’t be ashamed. It’s natural to get nervous about good things happening. We all tolerate the bad news, but…” But what? “But we just have to hang on to…hope.”

Her shoulders relaxed. “You’re right.” A faint grin stole to her face. “It’s easy to be pessimistic. It takes work to be positive.”

“Now, that I agree with.” Lexie watched Kelsey’s grin grow. “Have you told Lucy about the foundation?”

“No. I didn’t want her to get excited and then have something awful happen.” She lowered her head again, her neck pivoting from side to side. “There I go again. I’ll get a grip on myself, and I should talk with her doctor first.”

“Good idea. He’ll reassure you. Then you can decide one way or the other.” Decide. Decisions were nebulous. She had so few options, which was another truth she tried not to think about. It made her feel she had no control. And she didn’t really. “It’s difficult to stay positive, but it’s important that we do. Ethan said something about people without hope, and that spoke to me. I don’t want to be someone feeling hopeless. Neither do you.”

Kelsey’s eyes widened. “Ethan?”

Lexie’s heart flew to her throat, but she managed to give a no-big-deal shrug. “After you left, I tripped over him, and he stopped to talk.”

Her wide-eyed look vanished, and she gave way to a quizzical grin. “Hmm? This sounds interesting.”

Lexie shook her head. “No. Nothing like that. One thing led to another. He asked about Cooper.” She rolled her eyes at Kelsey’s expression. “And he helped me with my flat tire.”

“Flat tire?” She chuckled. “How convenient.”

“I didn’t make it flat by myself.”

“I know, but the plot thickens.” Her grin grew to a smile, and she leaned closer on her elbows. “Tell me more.”

Lexie gulped back her discomfort, but knew Kelsey wouldn’t give up until she gave her details. She related their conversation about Ethan’s deceased wife and about Cooper. Lexie opted not to tell her about Ethan’s sudden coolness. She didn’t understand it, and the situation was too personal to share.

“So that’s it? He didn’t ask for your telephone number?”

Lexie gnawed on the inside of her cheek, remembering how she’d said he should meet Cooper. If that wasn’t a flirtation, what was? “No, he didn’t ask.”

“Really?”

Lexie winced.

Kelsey shook her head. “Why didn’t he? He isn’t married, is he?”

“No. I told you his wife died.”

“Children?”

“No.” She gave her the evil eye. “What are you? A cop?”

Kelsey tossed her head back and chuckled. “Maybe I should be. Ethan’s a nice guy and good-looking. And single. He showed an interest in you, so tell me why no phone number.” She scowled. “No hints of seeing you again.”

“No. We’d just met. He’s a gentleman.”

“Are you crazy then? You should have asked him for a card in case you wanted more information.”

“Me? I don’t ask men for their phone numbers. And no, I’m not crazy.”

“I question that. If you don’t want him, then I should proceed.” A grin grew on her face. “Forget that, but let’s think of how we can fix this.”

We?
Lexie didn’t need help in the romance department. And she wasn’t looking anyway.

“Seriously, if nothing more, it would be nice for Cooper to have a man in his life. He never sees his father, does he?”

The question hit Lexie in the gut. “No.” What could she tell Kelsey about Coop’s father. Lexie barely remembered him, and what she remembered hurt too much.

“Okay, then. We’ve settled that. If you do see him again, think of Cooper.” Kelsey drained the coffee mug and slipped from the chair. “Thanks for listening to me. What you said helped. I need to cling to hope. God’s in charge, not me, and despite my silliness, I had really hoped that Ethan might find you interesting. I noticed he smiled at you a couple of times, and I checked his ring finger. Empty, and no telltale tan line, either.” She stepped back. “I think I’ll add the situation to my prayer list.”

Lexie rose and gave her a hug. “I don’t know about the prayer list, but thanks for caring about us.” She drew back and shook her head. “Even if your ideas are a bit off the wall.” But not too far off. The realization slithered down Lexie’s spine. She’d had a flash of those dreams for a couple of hours.

“When I mentioned a nice man spending time with Cooper, I was thinking of someone like a big brother. You’re a great mom, but Ethan or some other man like him would be nice for Cooper.”

Lexie hadn’t thought about that. Yes, Cooper could use a man’s influence in his life. “Thanks for caring.”

“Welcome.” Kelsey gave a wave and strode through the kitchen doorway.

Lexie followed her to the foyer and watched her slip into her car. When Kelsey drove away, she closed the door and drew in a breath. Ethan. Why had he stepped in and out of her life in a couple of hours? Her pulse skipped, wondering what it would be like to enjoy a man’s company again, and one that didn’t walk away the day they met.

Ethan squinted into the sunlight glinting off the hood. He’d had a headache for the past five days, and once again he didn’t have an aspirin on him. Stupid.

Everything seemed stupid. He couldn’t get Lexie out of his mind, and he’d walked away from her like a coward. He’d let cancer take something else from him and hadn’t even left the door open for an opportunity to see her again. All of his talk about hope, and he failed to cling to it himself.

His temples pounded as he slowed at the light. Aspirin. He remembered seeing a drugstore up ahead somewhere before Crooks Road. He glanced on each side of Fourteen Mile and spotted a large pharmacy. After waiting for traffic to clear, he pulled into the parking lot and slipped into a space. As he opened his door, his heart whacked against his chest. A
burgundy sedan sat in the spot beside him. Too coincidental. Many burgundy cars were on the road.

But his pulse skipped as he headed inside, his gaze shifting from one side to the other. He read the signs above the aisles and near the back, he spotted the headache remedies.

He also spotted Lexie.

Ethan closed his eyes a moment. Guilt had riddled him since he’d met her. God had given him an opportunity to be a man of compassion and kindness, and he’d walked away. What happened to the Good Samaritan in him?

When he opened his eyes, she moved. He turned, his gaze sweeping the area. His chest tightened when he spotted her again at the prescription pickup counter. From the back, Lexie’s long hair hung in gentle waves below her shoulder blades. He hadn’t realized the length. The strands shone in the artificial lighting, and his fingers itched to touch the softness.

Swallowing his apprehension, he snatched the aspirin bottle from the shelf, then pulled himself to full height, drew back his shoulders and planted what he hoped was a pleasant expression on his face. When he strode close enough for her to hear him, he said her name.

Lexie turned, a surprised look fading into a smile. “What are you doing here?”

He managed a shrug while his mind whispered his answer. God’s plan. “I’ve had a headache all morning.” He flashed the bottle clutched in his hand. “You must live around here.”

She nodded. “A few streets over.”

Hoping she’d tell him the street, he waited. No luck. He gazed at the prescription the clerk had set on the counter. “How’s Cooper?”

Her pleasant expression slipped away. “Having some problems today. He had chemo earlier in the week, and he’s terri
bly nauseated. That hasn’t been happening lately so it worried me. I called his doctor and he called in a prescription.”

“I hope it takes care of it.”

“Me, too.” She turned and picked up the small paper bag. “He’ll sleep the day away with this.” She slipped the package into her shoulder bag. “How’s the foundation?”

Foundation. He blinked. That wasn’t the direction he wanted to go. Now he’d have to work his way back to Cooper. “Doing some great things.” He dug through his mind to remember what great things, but he knew they were planning some wonderful events for kids in the county. “One of the women from your organization contacted us. We’re planning a trip for her daughter to visit New York. She wants to see the fashion industry. She’ll spend some time at Parsons and we’re arranging for her to meet a couple of fashion designers.”

“That’ll be so nice for her.”

Lexie’s grin failed to convince Ethan. He should have avoided details, but it was too late. “When Cooper’s ready, we’ll plan a great trip for him, too.”