A Family Man (25 page)

THIRTY-FOUR

Maria started awake at the sound of the front door banging. “Jack, is that you?” Wiping her hand across her brow in an attempt to wipe away the ever-present headache, she slowly pulled herself to her feet. “You hungry? There's Pizza in the fridge.”

“
Nah, I'm good.” he dropped his bag on the floor and ran upstairs to his room.

As soon as her son had left the room, Maria sank into the chair and rested her head on the table. She just felt so ill all the time these days, it was like just one long hangover. All she wanted to do was sleep. She knew the cause; it was no great mystery. Her liver was failing, and unless she stopped drinking, she would die. She was trying, but it was so hard. Jack was a pretty easygoing kid, but she was so lonely, and sometimes she found herself in dive bars looking for company and a little respite from her shitty life. She had to be careful, child services had been sniffing around, thanks to her whore of a sister. She might not be the best parent in the world, but she did love her kids and she wasn’t prepared to lose another one. She had been sober now for nearly a month. Amy was coming to visit in a few days, and she needed to be as sober and healthy as possible. Maybe, this time, she would be able to persuade her daughter to stay.

~ oOo ~

Amy sat in the back yard of her mom’s house and stared at her phone. It would be easier to call Beth and get her to talk to Joe, but she couldn't do that. It wouldn’t be fair. She dreaded calling him, but she knew she had to man up and tell him herself. Taking a huge breath, she pressed ‘call.’

“Hey, sugar. S’up?”

“
Hey. Can you come to Mom’s? I really need to talk to you.”

“
Problem?”

“
Please, Joe. I need to see you.”

“
Okay, I can be there in five.”

Pushing down the panic that was rising in his throat, he stalked through his mom’s house. “Beth, I gotta go to Maria’s. Amy just called.”

Beth looked up with a frown. “She okay? You want me to come?”

“Nah, stay here. Ma will be waking up soon. If there’s a problem, I’ll call you.”

There had never been a time when the sound of Joe’s Dyna wasn’t like music to Amy’s ears. Right now, however, the roar of those straight pipes as he came down the road was the last thing she wanted to hear. Reluctantly she walked slowly to the front of the house and sat on the front steps, awaiting his arrival.

Amy didn’t even give him a chance to kill the engine before she ran to him. “What’s this all about, sugar?”

“
Can we take a ride? I really want to talk to you, but not here.”

“
Sure.” Taking off his helmet, he handed it to her. “Get on.”

They didn’t go far, just to the park that she’d always loved as a kid. They dismounted, and he led her to a bench overlooking the duck pond. Amy sat next to him and stared at her hands. “Mom’s real sick, Joe.”

“Sick how?”

“
Dying sick.”

“
Shit. You sure, this ain't Maria’s usual bullshit?”

“
Shit, Joe! You really think she’d stoop that low?” Amy sighed. “I know she’s done some shitty things, but this is for real.”

Joe took her hand. “I’m sorry, sugar. I wish there was something I could say that would make things better.”

Resting her head against his shoulder, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “I’m going to stay here.”

“
What?”

“
When you go back to Seattle, I won't be coming with you. I have to stay here. Mom needs me.” She shifted as she felt him tense up. “Joe?”

“
She ask you?”

“
No.”

“
She tell you she’s dying?”

“
She didn’t have to. I’ve got eyes.”

“
Is there anything I can say that will make you change your mind?”

“
No.”

“
Okay.” Abruptly, he stood and without a backward glance marched back to his bike.

“
Joe.” Amy trotted behind him, trying and failing to blink away her tears. “Say something, please.”

“
Nothing to say, sugar.” He held out his helmet and waited for her to climb on behind him. As soon as he felt her arms snake around his waist he pulled away.

She was holding on too tight, her face buried into his back. It made riding difficult, but they didn’t have far to go and he couldn’t bring himself to tell her to relinquish her grip. She was obviously upset and he didn’t want to make her feel worse.

He stopped outside Maria’s house and as soon as Amy had dismounted pulled away, leaving her staring behind him. He should have said something, reassured her that it didn’t change the way he felt about her. That he would always be there for her. Instead, he did what he always did when he was overcome with unfamiliar emotions. He rode. And rode. Out of town and through the desert, not caring that he was getting deeper into Serpiente territory, or how the sun was burning his face. Despite pushing his bike harder than he’d ever done before and the fact that he was riding on the ragged edge, the noise in his head was as loud as ever, and the tightness in his chest showed no sign of abating. Over and over again, he tried to tell himself that his kid would only be a day away. They had been apart before, and they would survive another separation. He was trying, but it wasn’t working. The voice of reason was being drowned out by the one screaming that he was going to lose her.

Amy lay on the bed and buried her face into the pillow as her phone rang again. She knew it would be Beth, which meant Joe had taken off and hadn’t returned. Shit, she had handled this all wrong, and now Joe was pissed, which meant he’d probably come back and take it out on her mom, and there was no way she was prepared to stand back and watch that happen.

Her mom’s appearance had shocked her to the core. She was practically all skin and bone, her hair was limp, her complexion was sallow and her eyes were sunken into their sockets. Even worse was how weak she clearly was; the slightest exertion exhausted her. Despite her protestations that she was fine, and it was just a virus, it was obvious that Maria was very sick indeed. With a sigh Amy sat up as the sound of a Harley filtered through the window. Shit, Joe was here.

Joe dismounted and walked slowly towards Maria’s front door. After riding for hours, and still not being able to rid himself of the noise in his head, it seemed that the logical thing to do was to go and see for himself just how sick Maria really was.

He looked up as the front door opened and suppressed a gasp at the sight of the woman standing before him. In two strides, he covered the ground between them, pulled her into his arms and buried his face in her hair, only pulling away at the sound of that low husky laugh he had always loved. “Shit, Joe. Do I really look that bad?”

“Amy said you were sick.”

“
It’s nothing. Really, I’m getting better.”

“
Do I look stupid, M?” Taking her arm, he led her round to the back of the house and sat on the swing on the porch. “Sit.”

She sat next to him, her hands folded in her lap. “Amy’s overreacting.”

“
No, M, I don’t think she is.” He tucked a stray hair behind her ear. “You know she’s planning on staying?”

“
Yeah, she told me yesterday. Are you pissed?”

“
No, not pissed.” He looked out over the yard. “I just don’t want to lose her.”

“
You won't.”

“
Won't I? I lost you.” Maria moved closer and he slipped his arm round her shoulders. “You gonna die, M?”

“
Yeah, I think so.” She closed her eyes. “If…When I do, will you take care of Jack? I know you don’t really know him, but Beth does.”

“
Sure.”

They fell silent, both lost in their own thoughts, until the quiet was broken by Maria. “I’m sorry, Joe, for all the shit I put you through. I don’t blame you for staying away.” She sighed. “I never stopped loving you.”

“I never stopped loving you either.”

“
Even though you’re with Beth now?”

“
I love Beth. I have a life with her I could never have had with you. But you and me, girl.” He chuckled. “Fuck, that’s once in a lifetime shit.”

“
I really fucked up, didn’t I?”

“
Yeah, you fucked up.”

“
Amy said you made Beth your old lady.”

“
Yeah.”

“
Why?”

“
Told you. I love her. She’s a real good girl.”

“
Unlike me.”

“
You ain't exactly ol’ lady material, M.”

“
No I guess I’m not.” She touched his hand, running her thumb over the ornate ring he always wore. “We did have fun, though. Some of the time.”

“
We had fun a lot of the time.”

“
I’m scared, Joe.”

“
Yeah, figured you would be.”

“
Will you stay? Just tonight.”

“
You know I can’t do that.”

“
Yeah, I know. Why are you here, Joe?”

“
Not sure. Got a lot of noise in my head.” He swallowed. “If Amy is determined to stay, I won't try to stop her. Don’t know how long you got. But she has the right to have a relationship with her mom again, even if it’s only for a short while.”

“
Thank you.”

“
I ain't doing it for you.” He closed his eyes as her hand tightened around his. “You got everything you need?”

“
Pretty much.”

“
I don’t want Amy skipping school. You need taking care of, you hire a nurse. If you can’t afford it. I’ll pay.”

“
Okay.”

Joe stood and held out his hand. “C’mon. I want to talk to Amy.” She took his hand and they walked slowly back into the house.

As soon as she was settled on the sofa, he headed upstairs and knocked on Amy’s door. “Can I come in, sugar?”

“Sure.”

She was sitting in the middle of the bed, her legs crossed, Indian style. Joe sat down with his back against the headboard. “I take it you heard all that?” He indicated the open window.

“Yeah.”

“
I meant what I said. On Monday we will get you into the local high school and you will go every day.”

“
Okay.”

“
If it gets to the stage that your mom can’t take care of herself, she gets a nurse. That is not your job.”

“
Okay. Joe I….”

“
No. Don’t talk. Listen. You will call me or Beth at least every other day. And if your mom starts drinking and staying out, you will tell us.” He looked around. “Where’s your brother?”

“
Staying at a friend’s. Did you mean what you said? About taking care of him, if…if….”

“
Of course. Beth wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“
You do love Beth, don’t you?”

“
You know I do.”

“
But what you said, out there, to Mom.”

“
Me an’ your mom, sugar, we got a lot o’ history. Nothing’s gonna change that.”

“
You told her that you love her. Is that true?”

“
Yeah, but it ain't like you think. Beth is my old lady, I love an’ respect her. I promised her that I wouldn’t cheat, and I won't. Nor will I leave her. How I feel about your mom is different. I wish I could explain it, but I can’t. I don’t want to love her, haven’t wanted to for a long time. I just can’t help it.”

Amy crawled closer and, placing her head on his chest, wrapped her arms around him.

“That’s fucked up, Joe.”

“
Yeah, it is.”

“
Joe?”

“
Yes, sugar.”

“
I’m a little scared.”

“
I know. But I’m only a day away, and you can call any time, day or night. You need anything, anything at all, just ask, and I’ll do whatever it takes to see you get it.”

“
You sure you’re not pissed?”

“
I’m sure.”

“
I love you so much, Joe.” She squeezed her eyes shut in an effort to quell her tears.

“
I love you, too. More than you'll ever know”