A Little Bit of Us (25 page)

     “So DJ, what happens if two of your women or even three go into labor at the same time?”

     “I’ll just stand in the center of the room with a net,” he winks playfully at me. I laugh which makes the little monkey wriggle around yet again. “It’s only happened once. And fortunately those labors were both so different in time that I delivered one first and the next five hours later. So I tend to take patients with at least four weeks difference between them.”

     “Makes sense. I think the net idea is good too though,” he chuckles with me and starts taking the measurements as Sylvia watches. “She’s the perfect weight and size. I estimate her to be about seven three on birth. I’m usually only off a few ounces.”

     Sylvia hums her approval and pats my belly, “That’s a good size.”

     Thank god for that, seven pounds seems so tiny.
I just ate seven pounds of lasagna…

     “How are you feeling overall?”

     “I’m fine, I keep getting a stitch and Braxton hick’s attacks. Those annoy me, they’re becoming more frequent. Also is it normal to go to the bathroom so much and I don’t mean to pee?”

     He nods with a small smile, “Yes. It’s just your body getting rid of all the bad stuff to prepare you.”

     “God really had it out for us women,” I grumble and shut my eyes. “Wake me up when you’re done.”

    
“Any cravings?” I hear him ask. Of course Sylvia answers, “Lasagna, lemons and my home made chocolate fudge cakes. All separate of course.”

     Nap time.

     I climb into Sylvia’s car as she starts dialing James again. His phone is off, probably in bed with his whore.

I miss sex.
Me too Libido. Me too.

     Sylvia drops me home and goes off to meet her friends for dinner. It’s awkward when your fifty something ex-mother in law has a better social life than you. Although my quiet time isn’t long lived
because it is now being disturbed by banging at the door. Sigh.

     I open it and James storms past me, his face like thunder, and his ranting begins, “I can’t believe you would do this to me! You promised I could be there! You fucking promised!”

     I grab my cool flannel from the table, lay back on the couch and put it on my forehead. Then I plug my music into my ears and stretch out as the baby wriggles. He tugs one of my earphones out. “Are you fucking kidding me Maya?”

     “Dude, totally got a brutal headache! Could you leave and call me later to shout shit at me that I don’t really care to hear and probably won’t even listen too.” I wave him off. “Thank you… bye, bye.”

      “Mom is mad at you.”

      “Your mom is always mad at me. Bye, bye.”

     
“Stop being a bitch. We need to talk! We need to choose a name and make arrangements dammit!”

     “Don’t you have another female’s life to ruin? You know? Maybe go cheat on Zara and impregnate her? Or better yet, if you’re going to stay here while I ignore you why don’t you mount me, it’s been a while since I had any,” I wink at him and go to plug myself back in. He grabs my phone out of my hand and throws it across the room. It lands with a soft thump on the armchair in the corner. Nice
throw, if I did that it would have missed and shattered. “Go away James.”

     He kneels next to the couch and presses his forehead against my shoulder, “Maya. I’m only going to say this once… please… please… stop this. I can’t take it. At least try to be… civil.”

     “That’s not a word that I have in my vocabulary. I’ll refer to the shitshonary later.”

     “The what?”

     “You know? The shitshonary, the dictionary of giving a shit.”

      He rolls onto his back onto the floor, “Do you want me Maya? Is that what this is about? Do you want to be with me?”

     “Not really. Although I wouldn’t mind fucking you a few times for old times’ sake.”

     “Then why…
why are you fucking with my head?”

     “Unfortunately I’m not fucking anything… now go away.”

     He groans and sits back up, “Don’t I deserve to be happy?”

     “Don’t I?” Yeah… I like that. Don’t I deserve to be happy? I’m not whining and moaning ever
y ten minutes and I’m having a baby in six weeks. I’m not fucking around, I’m not dating anyone and I’m also not… pining over… ok so maybe I’m pining just a little but he is the first man I’ve ever loved. Maybe the only man I’ve ever loved. “James. Do whatever the fuck you like. If you want to be there for the birth then leave me the fuck alone.”

     He lifts his head from the couch and searches my eyes. His once twinkling greens n
ow a dull hazel, he’s exhausted. “That’s what you want?”

     No. “Yeah. I can’t… I can’t be near you right now. Our marriage failed because you fucked someone else and now I’m heavily pregnant with your child and you’re fucking somebody else.
It hurts… I know I ended it but… I dunno. I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me. I just know that I need you to fuck off and leave me the hell alone. Go to your girlfriend.”

    
Please. Just leave. It hurts to look at you.

      There’s a pause in the air, a moment of silence. Then soft lips meet mine, what the fuck? They move against me, a large hand slides over my breast and to the back of my neck. I tingle, I ache, and I’m becoming the other woman. I stop. “What, you weren’t satisfied with cheating on me? So now you’re cheating on her… WITH ME?” I’m now sitting up, or attempting too. Now I know how a turtle feels when flipped upside down.

     “Fuck Maya,” he grunts and sits backwards onto his ass. “Zara is…
I don’t know! I’m still in love with you.” Wait… what? “I just… I want you to come home. I don’t want us to be over. Let’s be a family again. I can’t lose you and it’ll kill me if I can’t come home to my little girl every night.”

     I don’t move, I don’t react, “Go home. Now.”
Ok, maybe that was a reaction.

     “Maya,” he pleads and presses his forehead against mine. I place my hand on his chest and throw him away from me. Why does he always do this? He did this before when he fucked bony blonde, he did it to get a reaction… how exactly did that work out for him? Oh look! Here we are now! Separated with an irreparable split between us
and he’s still trying to get a reaction. How can he be so… so moronic? “Please.”

     “Fuck off. Now.” He sighs
in defeat and stands. “Don’t call me anymore James. I really, really, can’t be bothered with these games.”

     “She’
s my…”

     I finish for him, “Kid too. I know. We’ll do the one week on one off thing when she’s a little older. We’ll even name her Evelyn if you get the fuck away from me.”

     I hear him sniff followed by his footsteps disappearing down the hall. Wriggle. Sigh. The footsteps stop, the door opens. “Maya, I’m sorry. Don’t hate me.”

Sinus blocker:
Next time you decide to use me behind my sons back… don’t bother. I’m extremely disappointed in you.

Maya:
Duly noted. Please accept my sincerest apologies.

Sinus blocker:
Don’t keep shutting him out Maya.

Maya:
Are you kidding me? He’s the one playing games. Dating someone trying to get a reaction from me. Do me a favor and tell your son that when he becomes a real man to give me a call. And everyone else can stop getting involved. It’s not fair.

Sinus blocker:
Then stop getting us involved.

Maya:
At least I told you about the appointment. Next time I won’t. I didn’t do it to get one up on James I did it because I thought you’d want to be there… I didn’t want James there. He’s been nothing but nasty these past few weeks and I can’t deal with the added stress.

     She doesn’t reply. I don’t expect her too.

Maya:
I have a cervical in 2 weeks. You don’t have to be present for that. But I won’t leave you out again.

James:
Thank you. I’ll pick you up. Just let me know the time and date.

Maya:
Already sorted but thanks anyway.

James:
I am sorry.

Maya:
I know. Me too.

     Another two weeks have flown by and I can honestly say I’ve done nothing but become a master hermit. I should get an award for this. Now I’m officially on maternity leave I’m struggling on what to do with my days. Summer has been coming round, she took me to get a bikini wax. I feel much better after that. I haven’t spoken to James or Sinus blocker. Marie is still a constant as always. Lucas has been a couple of times too but nothing new to report there.

     Now I’m laid on a bed in DJ’s clinic and I have my legs in stirrups whilst he looks up my tunnel with some weird clamp thing that is extremely uncomfortable. James is sat by my head reading a magazine.

     “You’re cervix is soft.” The doctor says and James puts his magazine down
, his attention now captured. “It’s a little early but I’m not concerned yet. You’re almost a centimeter dilated. I want you on bed rest so we can avoid premature labor. There’s little risk to the baby if she does decide to come now but I’d prefer to keep her cooking another four weeks.” He removes the clamp and pulls off his gloves. “I’ll leave you to get dressed.”

     “Bed rest? I’m already on bed rest, hell, I haven’t cooked in about two weeks
, the only time I move is to get a drink, go to bed or use the bathroom,” I snort and go behind the awesome Chinese style partition to get dressed. James leans forward so his elbows rest on his knees, I come out from behind the partition and sit on the bed. “Could you?” I hand him my boots and socks. I can’t bend enough to get them on.

     He smiles widely, as if happy to just be doing something, “Sure.” He begins by pulling one of my feet onto his lap and pulls the sock on. Once that’s on he bends forward and kisses my ankle bef
ore pulling on my boot and starting on the other one. “I’ll go pack a bag.”

     “Oh no, you are not using this as an excuse to move in.”

     “It’s not up for discussion.”

     “No, you’re right. It’s not up for discussion. All you do is stress me out. Don’t forget the arguments, the name calling. I know where I stand with you James and right now I can’t deal with you. Hell… I’d prefer sinus blocker over you.”

      The door opens and DJ walks in, effectively silencing our argument, “All sorted?” we both nod. “Ok, remember. Bed rest for the next three weeks at least.”

     “Sure,” James smiles and takes my bag, he puts it on his shoulder, bends down and scoops me up before I can protest. “Come on then.”

     “What are you doing? Put me down!” I hiss at him. DJ just chuckles and opens the door. I daren’t kick or struggle in case he drops me and in my condition that would be bad. “Are you crazy? I weigh about a thousand pounds right now! Put me down!”

     “Please,” James laughs once and nods as the receptionist opens the entrance door for us. “Stop being a baby.”

     He deposits me in the car and even goes as far as to strap me in. “Let’s get you home, I’ll make you some dinner.”

     “You mean cereal?”

     “Ok, I’ll get my mom to bring over some Lasagna and cake and we’ll chill, watch movies and I promise I won’t even talk to you. You won’t notice I’m there.”

     “Whatever,” I sigh and close my eyes for a moment. “Tell her to make it a double fudge chocolate and we have a deal.”

     I watch as he takes in the house again. Ok, so maybe I’ve gone a little overboard with the whole nesting stage, everything is clean and the place stinks of bleach. “You said you’ve barely left the couch.”

     “Well… I haven’t I’ve only done about two hours a day and spent the rest on my ass.” He runs his finger over the mantelpiece. “Is there dust? I should polish that again.”

     “Sit,” he pushes me gently to the couch, even fluffs up the pillows for me and brings me a
black fluffy comforter from my bed. “I’m going to go and pack a bag. I won’t be long. Mom is on her way with lasagna and the ingredients to make the cake you want.” Yes! I can lick the spoon and bowl clean.

     I curl up on
the couch and turn on the TV, there’s zero on so I buy a movie. Sigh.

     “I’ll go set up the spare room first,” James says without question. Is it wrong that I really do not want him here? Or is it wrong that I also do? I wonder what his ‘girlfriend’ thinks. Fucking bitch.

     Sinus Blocker just walked in the building. There’s a
crucifix above the door to prevent things like this from happening. I think it’s faulty… she doesn’t burst into flames or anything! Thank god she doesn’t because I can now smell warm lasagna and my belly is growling like a caged lion.

     “I’m gonna go grab some of my things,” James calls, I hear the rustling of his jacket and the jingle of his car keys.

     I lift my hand so he can see it over the back of the couch and wave goodbye. Wriggle. Yuck, that’s so damn weird. My belly looks freakish. I don’t know why but I decide to film it just for the hell of it and then I send it to Jacob.

Jacob:
That’s wicked cool. It looks like she’s trying to break free.
 

     “Lasagna for the pregnant lady,” Sylvia announces and holds out a plate for me. I sit up and rest it on the top of my belly. Yep, I can do this with cups, plates, bowls and books. It’s kind of fun at times. “Enjoying that?”

     I wipe my mouth on a napkin and nod like a child. “Can I have more?” She happily obliges and gets on with making the cake. James returns just as it’s put in the oven. Oh my lord that smells fucking beautiful.

     “You have lasagna all around your mouth and on your nose… it’s also on your cheekbone,” I glare at him and wipe my face with the damp cloth he fetches me. “Hey, I’m not moaning. It’s good to see you eat. Means a fatter and healthier baby.”

     “Whatever. Where’s the lady with my cake?”

     “It’s still going to be another hour. It has to cool and then I have to decorate it,” Sylvia chuckles and sits on the armchair. James pulls my feet onto his lap and starts rubbing my ankles and calves before I can pull them away. “Both of you need to get over this split between you. I’m sorry… I promised I wouldn’t interfere but you’re bringing a life into the world. A life that will absorb everything you feel. At least come to a truce.”

     I know she’s right and I completely agree. Doesn’t mean I have to like it.

     “Fine, from this moment forth we are friends. Only.”

With benefits.

      “Deal,” James smiles and slides my pants leg up to my knee. “Now relax.”
Oh god, that feels amazing. Maybe I’ll just close my eyes for just a second.

     
“Let her sleep, she’ll eat the cake when she’s awake,” I hear James whisper. I rub my eyes and sniff the air, hmm, warm fudge, “Did somebody mention cake?”

     James lets out a laugh followed by a sigh. He moves from the couch as I straighten myself and wipe the dried drool from my face. Nice. Not.

     “I am sorry about what I said,” James suddenly says as I’m eating my third slice of cake. Ok, so my hips may now have love handles and my stomach may now be the size of the Grand Canyon but I am pregnant so that’s my excuse. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

     “Just don’t. I really just want to get her out first then we can drop her off with your mom and argue and scream all we want. Sylvia’s right, we’re being selfish. The stress is bad for her.”

     He seems to soften a little, the tension leaves his body.

Day One in the Johnson/ Freeman house

     Everybody is getting on just fine. No complaints necessary. James continues to work from his computer and fawn over myself and the baby every time I call or every free moment he gets. Visitors of the day include Marie, Lucas and Amelia. Marie and Lucas spent their time throwing paper balls at me in an attempt to find out if I have my own gravitational pull. They leave cackling and hanging on to each other like drunks. Amelia succeeds in slapping her father and Marie seeing as I’m not allowed to move. Sylvia sends over more cake and Lasagna. It is safe to say I have been rather well fed.

Day Two in the Johnson/ Freeman house

     James had to leave today to check on a lab who are currently under investigation for producing and distributing illegal drugs. Nothing to be concerned about, just somebody
pissed off with somebody and got their revenge by spreading lies. It’s actually a common occurrence but usually the rumors are not so aggressive. Baby has not stopped moving all day, as you can imagine this has caused me sever discomfort and back ache for which James has provided me some amazing back rubs.

Day Three in the Johnson/ Freeman house

     Back ache is continuing and seems to have some kind of vendetta against me. My entire lower body is screaming. James helps me by running me a bath and the pain fades.

     Sylvia popped round again and brought Amelia with her, Amelia who continues to ask why James gave me seeds because I don’t look like I’m happy about the baby. I didn’t look like I was happy because I could barely walk. Now I’m in bed watching a movie with Summer. This is the life.

Day Four in the Johnson/ Freeman house

     Tensions today have risen between myself and James because I want him to take me to get a wax and a spray tan. He says he is not changing my orange sheets every single night. We come to the conclusion that he should bring his house keeper over here for a bit and I get my wax and spray tan. I also reminded him that tanned fat looks better than white fat. Which earned me an eye roll.

     I was not impressed when he received a call from Zara during
my tanning appointment and actually stepped outside to take it.

     “How is she with you living here?” I ask as we drive home. I keep my tone neutral, I’m really trying to be calm. Even if I do want to shove his phone up his ass.

     “She’s fine.” He mumbles and glances over at me. “I’m going to call my mom. I’m going out for a bit later.”

     Fuming, fuming, and fuming. “Does she know you’re still in love with me James? As a woman I’d be pretty pissed off if I found out the guy I’m dating is not only living with his ex but having a baby with her and he’s in love with her.”

     “It’s none of your business. She knows I’m living with you, she knows you’re pregnant as for the rest that doesn’t matter. You don’t want me Maya. I’
m trying to be happy.”

     “What, and you can’t be happy by being single?” I scoff and cross my arms over my chest. “Maybe I should start dating too!”

     “Maya,” he bites out like I’m an idiot. “You’re eight months pregnant. Don’t be fucking stupid.”

    
My mouth drops open, who the hell does he think he is? “So you’re allowed to date and I’m not?”

     “When the baby is born and you’re feeling better, go fucking nuts. There is no way in hell you are sleeping around with my child in your god damn womb.”

     “Right, nice to know how equal our relationship is.” I climb out of the now still car and stomp to my house. I even go as far as to slam the door in his face. What an ass.

     I watch him leave with Sylvia at my side, I watched him come out of the shower and do his hair and shave and get all sexy like. Then I watched him leave. I’ve never hated something more in my life than I now hate his new woman. Sylvia isn’t talking to him.

     He comes back five hours later.

     “Did you have fun?” I ask a little sarcastically. “Where’d you go?”

     “We went to dinner.”

     I’m pretty sure dinner doesn’t take five hours. “And?”

     “To see a movie.” I want to see a movie.

     “Did she choke?”

     “No, why would she choke?”

     I sigh a little dramatically, “That’s unfortunate.”

     He just rolls his eyes and leaves the room. Ass hole.

Day Five in the Johnson/Freeman household

     I look like a beached whale. It’s official, I can no longer see my feet, at all. Even if I bend. My bladder is being punches the hell out of and the baby won’t stop moving. My back aches, my heartburn is back and I can’t stop eating lemons. Also the urge to clean is becoming so bad James has to watch me so I don’t move. I’m still not talking to him by the way.

     Although I had fun with Sylvia last night, she’s teaching herself to knit, it was hilarious. She couldn’t even get the wool around the needles right. I had to do that for her. I learnt to knit in school but I hated it.

     James has been as happy as a clown all day, making jokes and trying to play with me. I’ve completely blanked him. What infuriates me even more is the fact he’s been constantly texting and laughing at his fucking phone. Ass hole.