A Love to Live For (3 page)

I was forgetting something, though, something very important. What if I ended up falling in love with Joseph and then he died?

Now that would be difficult. At the same time, though, his condition meant that if I said no, I would be breaking his heart and denying one of his final wishes, which was just cruel and selfish of me.

But if I said yes, wouldn’t it just be out of pity?

No. I shook my head. If I was going to say yes, then it shouldn’t be out of pity, but because I liked him as a person and could learn to like him more than that. I would do my best not to fall in love with him, though, so that I won’t end up getting hurt. Falling in love with someone just to lose him hurt more than anything, after all.

Wait, so did that mean I was going to say yes?

I thought about it some more. Then, when I was getting so confused my head started to ache, I stopped thinking. Instead, I placed my arm over my forehead, closed my eyes and started breathing deeply, telling myself to relax. Then, my mind clearer, I got up and decided to head home.

Whenever I couldn’t find an answer to a problem I had or wasn’t sure of the one I came up with, I always asked someone else for advice. In the past, I had always asked my best friend, Michelle, whom I had known since elementary school and so I decided to ask her.

She was no longer in town, though, already living in Tucson with her husband, and so the only way I could talk to her was over the phone, and since it was only ten in the morning, which meant she was probably at work and didn’t want to be disturbed, I had to wait several hours. I didn’t mind, though, deciding to work as well to get my mind off things, immersing myself in the drawings that I was supposed to make for the children’s book I was working on.

As usual, time flew by quickly while I worked and before I knew it, it was already five in the afternoon. Tired and hungry, I went down to the kitchen to start fixing dinner. Then, after dinner, I ran up to my room and dialed Michelle’s number.

After the third ring, she answered. “Becca?”

Just the sound of her voice made me smile. “Michelle! It’s good to hear your voice again!”

“It’s good to hear
your
voice again!” she said. “I haven’t heard from you in ages.”

“You mean in two weeks.”

“Ages,” she repeated. “Anyway, how have you been doing?”

“Good,” I said, then added, “Well, actually, I’m in a bit of a situation at the moment.”

“What situation?” she asked, her curiosity apparent. I was suddenly reminded of a quote about friendship, the one that said it didn’t matter how long friends had been apart since whenever they talked, it still seemed as if they had seen each other yesterday.

“Do you remember Joseph from elementary school, middle school and high school?”

She chuckled. “Yes? Did he finally ask you out?”

“He…” I paused as he words registered. “What did you just say?”

“I asked if he finally asked you out,” Michelle obligingly repeated. “After all, he seemed like he always had a thing for you.”

“He did?”

“Oh, come on, you mean you never noticed? Geez, you’re more oblivious than I thought.”

I sat on the edge of my bed. “So you mean he’s always liked me? Why did you never tell me?”

“You didn’t seem interested in him. Besides, I was afraid that if you got Joseph for a boyfriend, you’d forget about me.”

“Why would I do that?”

“Oh, come on, it happens all the time. Girls always leave their best friends for their boyfriends.”

“You mean like how you left me for that Trevor guy you met in college?”

“Ouch. You still are my best friend, you know.”

I grinned. “I was only kidding. Anyway, so Joseph asked me if I wanted to go out with him.”

“And what did you say?”

I shrugged. “I…haven’t given him an answer yet.”

“And what answer were you planning on giving?”

I fell on top of my bed with a plop. “I don’t know.”

“Surely you must have an answer you’re leaning towards,” she said. “Let me guess. You want to say yes but you’re not sure if it’s right because you’re not sure if you like him.”

I did not know whether to smile or sigh. “You still know me so well.”

“Of course,” she said. “So that means I was right. Well, why don’t you just say yes? You don’t have anything to lose, do you? And girl, it’s about time for you to go out with a guy, don’t you think?”

I wanted to tell her that I did have something to lose since Joseph was dying but I decided not to let her know about Joseph’s condition. He clearly didn’t want a lot of people knowing about it, after all.

“Becca?”

“Still here,” I said. “So you’re saying it’s okay for me to go out with him even if I’m not sure how I feel about him. Isn’t that unfair?”

“Becca, Joseph was the one who asked you, which means he likes you, which means he doesn’t really care at this point whether you really like him or not. Just be honest. Tell him how you feel but give it a try anyway. Who knows? You’ll never know what is waiting on the other side unless you cross the bridge.”

I kept quiet, thinking.

“And if it doesn’t work out, I’m sure you’ll gain some good memories from it just the same,” Michelle went on. “And valuable experience that you could use in your relationships to come. Besides, if you say no, you’ll end up wondering forever how things could have been if you said yes. They say you end up regretting the things you didn’t do more than the things you did.”

I sighed. “I guess I’m going to be going out with Joseph, huh?”

She chuckled. “You should be celebrating, and I wish I was there to celebrate with you.”

“I wish you were here, too.”

“Cheer up. I think if you give Joseph a chance, you might just find out that you’ve liked him all along.”

That was one of the things I was afraid of, but I didn’t say so.

“And for all it’s worth, I think you and Joseph will make a great couple.”

I wanted to smile at that, but didn’t. “Thanks, Michelle. Have I ever told you you should start an advice blog?”

“You’re welcome,” she said. “And I know. I give great advice, but they’re only for great friends like you.”

That made me smile. “I miss you.”

“I miss you, too.”

“Well, say hi to Trevor for me.”

“Say hi to Joseph,” she said. “And your dad, and Bethany and Abigail. Oh, and don’t forget to keep me updated on how things go.”

“I will,” I told her. “Take care.”

“You, too, and good luck.”

“Bye.”

“Bye.”

I listened as the phone call ended with a click, not wanting to be the first to hang up as always. I missed my best friend. I really did.

Her words of wisdom gave me the strength I needed, though, and so the next day, after a hearty breakfast and a refreshing shower, I headed back to town. Again, I stopped outside the flower shop, gathering my courage. Then, taking a deep breath, I went inside.

Joseph smiled as he saw me but his expression quickly turned serious. “Rebecca, I…I’m sorry. I…”

“No, I’m sorry,” I told him. “I shouldn’t have run off like that. It was foolish of me and rude.”

“I was rude, too,” he said. “I shouldn’t have…”

Suddenly, we were interrupted by the door opening and my eyes widened when two of my friends from high school, Cindy and Lois, entered.

“Rebecca?” Cindy seemed surprised to see me, as well, but she quickly overcame it and gave me a hug. “What a surprise seeing you here.”

Lois, too, gave me a hug. Then, she waved at Joseph. “Hello, Joseph.”

Joseph just waved at them.

“So what are you two doing here?” I asked.

“As you know, we’re both organizing the high school reunion,” Cindy explained. “Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten all about it.”

“No, of course not,” I lied. In truth, I had forgotten about the upcoming high school reunion and wasn’t sure if I was going to attend.

“Remember, it’s going to be next Saturday,” Lois said. “The two of you will come, won’t you?”

“Yeah, I think so,” I said, knowing that if I said that I wasn’t going outright, I wouldn’t hear the end of it from Cindy and Lois.

“And you, Joseph?” Cindy asked.

“I…I’m not so sure.”

“Oh.” Cindy said, both she and Lois frowning.

“You should come,” Lois insisted.

“Well, Joseph is a little busy these days,” I said. “And not just with the flower shop.”

Lois sighed. “Well, at least we’re sure you’ll come, won’t you? You can bring your boyfriend, if you have any, that is.”

“Is it true you’ve never gone out with a guy?” Cindy asked in a whisper.

I blushed. “Well, I…”

“Oh, don’t worry.” Lois squeezed my arm. “I’m sure there’s someone out there who will want to go out with you. Maybe if you do something with your hair or…”

“Actually,” Joseph interrupted her. “I…”

“Actually, I am going out with someone right now,” I interrupted him in turn without thinking, grabbing his arm as I looked at Cindy and Lois. “I’m going out with Joseph.”

“So you’re going out with me now, huh?” Joseph asked as soon as Cindy and Lois had left, having placed the orders for the flowers that they had come to the shop for.

I turned around to face him but quickly averted my gaze, feeling a blush creep into my cheeks. “I…I thought about your…your offer, and I’ve decided to give it a try.” I looked into his eyes. “It is still valid, isn’t it? I mean, you didn’t change your mind after…”

“Yes, I believe it’s still valid,” he said with a smile. “In fact, I don’t think it has an expiration date.”

I smiled weakly.

“Just out of curiosity, you didn’t make up your mind just because of what Cindy and Lois said, did you?” he asked.

“No, not at all,” I said quickly. “My mind was already made up.”

He nodded, understanding. “Good.”

“I was just rushed into announcing my decision,” I added. “Really, those two haven’t changed at all. They’re going to give Mrs. Winters a run for her money.”

“You mean in vying for the position of the top town meddler and gossiper?” Joseph asked. “I wouldn’t compare them to Mrs. Winters. At least, when Mrs. Winters meddles into someone’s affairs, she has good intentions. I don’t think I can say the same for those two. In fact, I doubt if they’ve ever had good intentions.”

I bumped him playfully on the shoulder. “You are so mean. Sure, Cindy and Lois can be mean, but I’m sure they have a spot of good inside them. I mean, they’re organizing the reunion, aren’t they?”

He chuckled.

I threw him a puzzled look. “What?”