A Love to Live For (4 page)

“You sound just like a preacher’s daughter,” he said. “Not that I find anything wrong about that, of course.”

“Well, you’re the one who chose to go out with a preacher’s daughter,” I told him.

“Like I said, I don’t find anything wrong about that.”

“Why did you choose me anyway?” I asked, unable to keep my curiosity reined in. “Why did you ask me when you could have asked so many other girls?”

“Like who?”

“Like Cindy and Lois,” I said half jokingly.

He snorted.

“Seriously, though, there are plenty of other girls here in Continental.”

“Perhaps,” he said. “But none of them can get on my nerves like you do and still fascinate me.”

I laughed. “Is that why?”

“Among other things,” he said.

There was a moment of silence between us.

“Can I ask why you said yes?” he asked.

I took a deep breath. “I’ll be honest with you, Joseph. I’m not really sure how I feel about you but I said yes because I’m willing to find out. I owe you that much.”

“I see,” he said, seemingly displeased but trying to hide it.

There was another moment of silence.

“So what do we do now?” I asked. “And please pardon my ignorance because I’ve…”

“Never gone out with a guy before, I know,” Joseph said.

“How do you know?”

“Because Cindy and Lois know,” he teased. “But seriously, it’s an honor to be your first, though I can’t believe that I waited such a long time.”

“Why did you?”

He shrugged. “I was scared, I guess.”

“Am I scary?”

He nodded. “Plus, knowing your life is about to end may scare the hell out of you but it can also give you a lot of courage and put things in perspective.”

I simply nodded, not knowing how to comment on what he’d just said.

“Anyway, as to the first order of business…” He turned around and offered me a white flower. “Allow me to present you with a Casablanca lily.”

“Which means?” I asked as I took the beautiful flower.

“It stands for celebrations, and I think one is certainly in order today since you agreed to go out with me.”

“Okay,” I acceded.

“And here is a violet.” He took out another flower. “It stands for commitment. Consider it my promise to take good care of you.”

I smiled as I received the violet. “Thank you.”

I was starting to feel guilty for being lavished with so much affection, making me wonder if I had made the right decision, but at the same time, I could not deny that I felt quite happy, too.

“And now, how about we arrange a date? Our first date.”

“S-sure.”

“Do you have anywhere particular in mind?”

“Not really,” I said. “I’ve never thought about it.”

“Then how about you just come over to my house tomorrow night and I’ll cook dinner for you?” he suggested.

“You can cook?”

“Of course,” he said. “I happen to be a good cook, too. It’s just one of my many talents.”

I chuckled. “Alright, then.”

“Do I need to ask your Dad for permission or something?”

“No, I don’t think that’s necessary,” I said. “I’ll tell him about it.”

Telling my Dad I was going out with a guy, though, appeared to be harder than I thought. I waited until after my Dad’s afternoon nap, just so I could have time to gather my courage, sort out my thoughts and prepare a script inside my mind, and also because my Dad was in his best mood just after he had his nap. In spite of that, though, I still felt a lump in my throat as I approached my Dad in the backyard, sitting in his favorite chair and drinking a glass of lemonade as he looked at the garden which my older sister now tended and where I supposed she still envisioned my mother, kneeling over the plots and watering the plants while singing her favorite church hymns.

For a moment, I felt like I was five again, struggling to tell my Dad that I had broken his favorite coffee cup. This time, though, I had something more important to tell him, maybe not as upsetting but I was afraid just the same.

Still, I knew I could not run away from this task, though and I had to do it now, before the whole town learned that I was going out with Joseph, which could only take hours in a town as small and tightly knit as ours, and my Dad found about it from someone else, which was likely.

Swallowing, I opened the door to the backyard. Hearing the door creak, my Dad turned his head and smiled at me.

“How’s your work going?” he asked.

“Good,” I answered as I took the empty chair beside him. That wasn’t a lie exactly since I only had three more illustrations to go, as well as the cover.

“Lemonade?” He offered me the pitcher.

I shook my head. “I’m alright.”

He frowned. “It seems to me like you’re about to tell me something serious,” he said, letting me know that in spite of his increasing memory lapses, he could still be perceptive. “Well, don’t keep me in suspense.”

I took a deep breath. “Dad, I…I’m going out with someone.”

He stopped in the middle of drinking his lemonade, which was enough to let me know he was surprised by my bit of news, if not shocked.

He set his glass down on the table slowly, and for a moment, said nothing, his silence reminding me of the silence from the jury before they gave their verdict. Then, all of a sudden, he smiled.

“Well, it’s about time, isn’t it?”

I couldn’t describe my relief at hearing those words. “You mean you’re not upset?”

“Why would I be?” he asked. “It’s not wrong to go out with another guy, after all. In fact, it’s perfectly natural for a beautiful woman your age.”

I just smiled.

“So, who’s the lucky guy?”

I took another deep breath. “Joseph.”

At once, the gleam in his eyes faded. “Does he know you know the truth about him? About his condition?”

I nodded. “He’s not mad that you told me.”

“And he still asked you to go out with him?”

I nodded again.

“And you accepted in spite of knowing it?”

I gave another nod.

He sighed. “Well, I would certainly feel better if it was someone else. No, that’s not right. I actually like Joseph and I think he’s a good man, but it would’ve been better if…if…”

“If he wasn’t dying?” I supplied him with the words.

He looked into my eyes. “Do you love him?”

“I don’t know that yet, Dad,” I answered truthfully. “I don’t even know how much I like him but I agreed to go out with him to find out.”

“And if you do find out and then you lose him, will you be strong enough to overcome that loss?”

I shrugged. “I guess I’ll cross the bridge when I get there.”

“I see,” he said. “Well, everything happens for good reason. I will pray for you and Joseph and hope that both of you can find happiness and fill each other with strength.”

I placed my hand over my father’s. “Thank you, Dad.”

I gave him a kiss on the forehead then went back inside the house.

Inside the kitchen, Abigail gave me a smirk. “So you and Joseph are together now, huh?”

I frowned at her. “As usual, your talent for eavesdropping astounds me, but please, can’t you do me a favor and leave me alone just this once?”

She shrugged, her palms outstretched. “All I did was ask a question.”

I ignored her, going up the stairs.

“Do you want me to give you some tips?” she called out after me but again, I ignored her, heading to my room and closing the door firmly behind me.

I knew that Abigail had already had four boyfriends – she had impressed the fact on me often enough – but I wasn’t about to take advice from her. Nope. I had everything under control. Already, I was looking forward to my first date with Joseph and I had a feeling it was going to be great.

No. It’s going to be a disaster, I thought after trying on a fifth pair of clothes. Already, it was five fifteen, forty five minutes before I was supposed to go to Joseph’s house – I insisted that I could go there myself – and I didn’t know what to wear.

For the first time in my life, I wished I was one of those women with an excellent fashion sense. Mine was poor, after all, which was ironic, really, since I was so good at drawing beautiful people in beautiful clothes.

Finally, after trying on two more dresses, two more pairs of pants and three blouses, I decided to wear a pair of gray leggings and a pale yellow over blouse which had a thin sash around the waist. That decision made, I then tied my hair into a low bun, making sure to fasten it securely while curling the tendrils that I couldn’t secure so that they formed wisps at the sides of my face, checked to make sure I had just enough make-up on, but not too much, and then grabbed my purse and went downstairs, going out the front door as soon as I had slipped into my silver ballerina flats.

Driving my car, since riding a bike wasn’t suitable for going to a date, after all, I reached Joseph’s house in less than ten minutes and managed to make it in time for our date. In fact, I was a few minutes early.

“You’re early,” he said, repeating just that fact as he came to greet me with a smile.

“I guess I am a little,” I told him, smiling as well. “Is that a problem?”

“No, of course not,” he said. “Come in.”

He ushered me inside the house, towards the living room where his sister was going through her purse.

“Hi Rebecca.” She stopped to look up at me. “I wish I could greet you properly but I’m afraid I’m quite in a rush.”

“She’s got a date, too,” Joseph explained.

“Well, it’s not like it’s the first time seeing you anyway,” Bridget said. “But is this your first time here at our house?”

“The third, I believe,” I answered, remembering that I had visited once during elementary school and again during high school.

“Oh,” she said. “At any rate, please make yourself at home.” She grabbed her purse and gave me a hug. Then, she went to give Joseph a hug. “And you, young man, I trust you’ll give Rebecca a good time.”

“Of course,” Joseph said. “You have fun, too.”

“Alright.” She hastily waved at me. “Bye.”

I waved back at her. “Bye.”

As soon as she had walked out the front door, Joseph turned to me. “Well, you heard what she said. Make yourself at home. I should have dinner ready in ten minutes. In the meantime, you can watch TV or…”

“I’ll be fine,” I assured him. “Don’t worry about me. And please, don’t worry too much about dinner. I’m sure it’ll be perfect.”

“You just put more pressure on me,” he said, laughing. Then, before I could retort, he added, “Just sit tight. I’ll let you know when dinner is served.”