A Nightmare to Remember (Wicked Good Witches Book 5) (4 page)

“I’ll talk to Thomas. If he’s like any other tourist that’s
seen
something, I’m sure he’s three drinks in, squawking at one of the local bars and the story is already ten times the size. But I should be able to tell if he at least believes what he’s saying.”

“Drunk, this early in the morning?” clucked Emily.

“Tourist town. Bars pretty much never close,” reminded Michael. “Besides, it will give me the chance to escort my girlfriend to work.” He swooped her into his arms, Emily agreeing with a giggle and a kiss.

“Okay. That’s settled then. I’ll go check out the scene of the sighting,” said Charlie. “See if I can find anything there.”

Michael and Emily filed out of the house, followed a minute later by Charlie pulling out in the jeep, leaving Melinda and William alone in the kitchen.

“So… you seem to be super freaked out about this whole security thing,” Melinda said. “Are you sure it’s really necessary to go so crazy with everything? I know times are changing and all, but it does kind of seem like a huge leap. It’s never been necessary before.”

William took a moment to answer.

“Yes, I do feel it necessary, Melinda. The truth is...” he hesitated, choosing his words carefully. He’d been looking for the right time to have this conversation with her, and now that he was suddenly stuck with her, it seemed a good a time as any. It wasn’t an easy discussion, but one he had with every Howard at some point or another. And now that he’d thought it through, it would take them a step closer to keeping their relationship as it was meant to be.

Although starting it was proving difficult.

“What are you trying to say, William?” Her voice was uncertain.

“The truth is, Melinda,” he finally continued, “like I mentioned before, there are only three of you. When I first came to the Isle the Howard family was extensive. However, over a period of many years I’ve watched each Howard succumb to death. Most, far too young.” He turned away, unable to look her in the eye as he spoke. It hurt to say it, but it hurt much worse to hear it. And the true meaning of it was usually sobering and a little bit soul crushing.

Melinda swallowed hard. She had not expected him to be so serious. Or ominous. Conversations with the vampire were getting more intense with each passing day it seemed.

“I promised I would do all within my power to protect each generation of Howard Witches. I never expected today you would be just three.”

Melinda protested in a strained voice. “With you on our side, William, it’s almost like having double that.”

“Maybe so, but it is no longer enough,” he declared. “What would become of you if something happened, and I were no longer with you?”

“Don’t say that,” Melinda gushed. “You’ll always be with us.”

He turned to see her, his emerald eyes tight as he spoke. “If my luck holds,
I
may always be here, but not with
you,
Melinda. At some point you will die. As will Michael, and Charlie. My actions today, I feel certain will prolong your lives until the next generation of witches is ready to take over.”

William left out the part where he planned to time his death to coincide with hers. This was not something she needed to be made privy to. It was his choice. Because he was in love with her, even though they would never share this love.

Melinda couldn’t reply to what William had just told her. She felt like a witch who’d just been plucked off a production line. When her life purpose was reduced to its simplest meaning, is that all she was, a witch-producing baby machine? Is that all William saw when he looked at her?

No wonder he can’t return any feelings for me. I’m not just a human, but a production line…

“I am sorry, Melinda. As unpleasant as it is I must be truthful. It is my job to do so.”

Tears stung at her eyes but she held them back.

“Is that really how you see us?” she sputtered. “See me? Worker bees who do their job until they’re dead and hopefully survive long enough to spew out a few new witches?”

William sighed woefully. “No. It is
never
how I see you. But when you strip away everything else in your life
that
is your purpose. And mine is to make sure you survive as long as possible. I wish...” he stopped, again having difficulties finding the right words.

“I do
not
wish,” he rephrased, “to lose any of you. Nevertheless, I will. It is a reality I have accepted, because I must.”

Melinda didn’t see acceptance in William’s eyes. She saw pain. Loneliness. Hardness. Only now in this moment, did she fully realize how William’s life was utter torture. Year after year of pure torture. Each life he cared for counting down to its inevitable end. The reason he didn’t date humans. He couldn’t. It hurt too much to love in that way, knowing in the end he would lose that love.

And her own life, no matter what else came into it, or out of it, had one purpose: to protect The Demon Isle, which also meant carrying on the family bloodline.

The sucky ass fucking truth of it all.

No wonder Michael wanted to escape so badly. He must have come to this realization a long time ago. Charlie too. Without knowing it, a few stray tears fell down her cheeks.

Before he could stop himself William reached out and wiped them away, his cool fingers barely touching her skin. He said nothing. She was finally beginning to understand. She barely noticed his movements, her thoughts streaming and stuttering at the same time.

It was a similar conversation that he’d already had with both Charlie and Michael as well as many numerous Howard Witches before them. It didn’t make it any easier, and with Melinda, it was harder. So much harder.

Perhaps because she hurt so easily and loved so deeply. Perhaps because the thought of losing her was more painful than he could bear.

He didn’t say more and instead retreated to his study to give her some space. To think it all through. To come to terms with her true purpose. The reality of her life. Of what it meant to be a Howard Witch.

Melinda wiped her eyes and filled a glass of water, sipping it slowly over the sink. The coolness helped soothe her insides, which rumbled like they’d just been punched repeatedly. The urge to crawl into her room and hide gnawed at her, but she fought it.

An overabundance of thoughts and emotions dug their way into her already crowded mind. Perhaps her wacky dream from last night had been prophetic after all. What she felt right now was eerily similar to how she’d felt during the dream.

She gave herself to the bottom of the glass to get herself together. When the last drop was drunk she set down the empty glass. With shaky hands she splashed cool water on her face. She tapped her skin dry with a towel.

Melinda didn’t want to make William wait for her. They still had work to do.

And apparently, that’s really all that mattered in the end.

The cold brutal truth called her life.

She sucked in, determined not to show how much this affected her.

She was a grown woman. This is what William was really telling her.

It was time to grow up. To see the bigger picture.

She sauntered into the study as sturdily as possible.

William smiled warmly upon seeing her enter. “Are you okay?”

“Fine. Fine…” she let out a breath.

He let his lungs empty. “I’m sorry, Melinda. It is a conversation I dread. But one I’ve had to have with each Howard I have known since taking up the charge to be your protectors.”

“It’s not easy for you, is it?” She could not hide her sadness for him.

“Worst part of my job. But it is truth, no matter how difficult it is to hear.”

“I’m fine, William. Really. And I understand.
I do.
”

He nodded kindly.

“So,” she sniffled, “what’s this idea of yours, about Dad?”

He let out a dissatisfied grunt in reply.

“That promising, is it?” she chuckled lightly.

“It’s something I have put off for as long as possible. However, I unfortunately see no other alternative.”

Melinda waited for him to explain.

“Everything we have tried has failed. We cannot locate any useful information. So... we go to the original source.” He didn’t sound pleased. “Remember what you muttered under your breath earlier?” He winked, with a taught grin.

“I knew you heard that,” she shook her head. “So you mean to ask the Deanes for help now? I know the timing of this Feyk thing is bad, but I just cannot believe that they have anything to do with it.” Her heart sped up, a bit of the darkness smothering it, lifting. For one, it felt like the air between she and William was finally clear. And two, she was dying to see Riley. He’d make everything better.

William cast a stern look. “If you want my honest opinion, Melinda, I do not believe the Deane’s were responsible for the possible Feyk sighting.”

“I’m glad someone’s on my side.”

“On your side, always, but going to them for help is…”

“Not easy. I get it, William.”

“It is not my favorite idea.”
And not just for the reasons you’re thinking…
his thoughts groaned. He had successfully ignored Lizzy Deane since their lecherous beach encounter a few weeks before. An encounter he did not regret, but did not wish to repeat. And he hoped by ignoring her she’d gotten that message.

“I’m sorry it’s uncomfortable for you, William. To be around the Deanes. You don’t talk about it, and I can only imagine how terrible a memory it is, to have lost friends at their hands and now have to accept their ancestors at face value.”

Angelina…
his thoughts strayed. A woman he had loved, he thought with all his being. Today his feelings were muddled. At the very least, she had taught him what he was capable of, even as a vampire. And had given him the best gift anyone could offer. A life. A duty to give purpose to his existence.

He did love her. And yet he knew that what he felt for Melinda was different. Perhaps it wasn’t his feelings that were different, but him. He
had
changed. He was not the same man… the same vampire… he was when he’d met and fallen for the lovely Angelina Howard. Maybe she was right all along. He had not allowed himself to love her, fully. Or forgiven himself for past wrongs, or held any semblance of belief that he deserved love. Deserving or not, it was of no matter. 

“I’m sorry.” Melinda shook her head. “I did it again. I don’t mean to bring up terrible subjects. Or say half the things I do… somehow I open my mouth to say something I think is the right thing, and I just make things worse. Apparently, I have gotten a bad case of foot in mouth disease. One that appears is going to stick with me for the rest of my witch-baby-making, production-line life.” She gasped. She hadn’t meant to say that either!
God damn my stupid addled brain!
 

She heard a deep chuckle and her gaze shot upward. “Are you… laughing at me?”

He straightened out his face, removing a grin. “No… no.”

She rolled her eyes, unable to hold back a nervous laugh as William did his best to hide his amusement over the ridiculous summation of her life purpose.

“I suppose, that’s one way to look at your life, Melinda.” He tried to sound serious, but failed. “I’m sorry. It’s not funny. Truly it’s not.”

“And yet you’re still laughing,” she chastised heartily. “It’s not really what I think of my life, William. It’s just a little
upsetting
to realize that when it’s all boiled down, that’s what I’m here for.” She freed another nervous laugh, followed by rush of breath. She shrugged, trying to tell him silently she was okay with it all.

“Melinda, please don’t ever think that’s
all
you are. You’re so much more to me than that.” He couldn’t deny his urge to offer comfort, but realized his mistake too late.

Unshed tears swam in her eyes.

Perhaps he too had a sudden onset case of foot in mouth disease. He’d let his guard down.
Why did I say, ‘to me’?
He’d not meant to say that. Only offer a bit of comfort. But he’d made it personal, after all the progress they’d just made.

She turned away, a sense of sadness and gloom enveloping her.

Hastily, he cleared his throat and suggested they warn the Deanes of their imminent arrival. “We wouldn’t want to frighten them by showing up unannounced. It feels only fair to give them some notice.”

“Okay. I’ll send Riley a text,” she spoke softly. “Give them a heads up.”

William nodded in agreement.

What she really wanted was to fall into Riley’s arms and bawl her eyes out.

Lame... so very lame,
she scolded herself.

William had spoken the truth. It sucked, but he was right. And he clearly had a lot more to say to her than he allowed himself to. It hurt. Everything hurt. The last few weeks had been a sweet reprieve. Still, things between them were better. On the mend.

And seeing Riley would definitely brighten her mood and she needed that.