A State of Jane (7 page)

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After cleaning his plate of potatoes, Jim rubbed his stomach and said, “Wow, Jane. You weren't kidding about being able to cook. This meal was outstanding.”

I was glad he had enjoyed it since my stomach was too crowded with nervous knots to fit anything besides more wine. I just moved the food around my plate and took small bites when Jim was watching me. “Glad you liked it! Dessert?”

Stretching his arms above his head, Jim said, “I don't think I can do dessert right now. I'm stuffed.”

Deciding it was now or never, I gulped the rest of the wine in my glass, stood up and walked over to Jim's chair on the other side
of the kitchen table. I sat on his lap and, kissing his neck, said, “Dessert need not be limited to food, you know.”

Jim moved aside my hair and gave me a kiss, gently biting my lip. “Oh? What did you have in mind?”

“Kissing is a good start.” Hoping I sounded seductive, I said, “And you never know what can happen from there.”

As I said this, I fumbled with the bottom of Jim's sweater in an attempt to lift it over his head. I noted to myself that a button down shirt would have been easier.

With his sweater still on, Jim stood up, lifting me up with him since I was on his lap. When we were standing face to face, he took both of my hands in his and said, “Wow. This is a side of you I've never seen before.”

I bravely responded, “There are many sides to Jane.” I paused and said, “Including the sexy side.”

Jim released my hands and laughed. “I don't doubt that. I noticed the sexy side of Jane the first time we met. I was referring to the aggressive side.”

Reaching for the buckle of his belt, I looked him dead in the eyes and said, “I just find you irresistibly attractive.”

His face turning red, Jim took a step backwards and said, “I'm flattered. You're pretty easy on the eyes yourself.”

“I'm glad you think so.” Since I wasn't having any luck getting his clothes off, I grabbed his hand, led him to the living room and gently pushed him on the couch. “Sit right there and don't move,” I commanded before running back to the kitchen and taking a long swig of wine directly from the bottle.

Returning to the living room, I sat next to him on the couch and quickly removed my boots. Out of the corner of my eyes, I saw Jim looking at me waiting to see what I'd do next. I stood up in front of Jim, unbuckled the belt of my sweater and tossed it on the couch next to him. Then I pulled the dress over my head in one motion. In only my underwear and tights, I asked, “Do you think I'm easy on the eyes now?”

Staring at me, Jim said, “Of course I do.”

I removed my bra and said, “What about now?”

Scratching his dark hair, Jim said, “Uh, yes. You look great.”

Winking at Jim, I said, “I think I need some help with the rest of my clothes. Wanna volunteer?”

Sitting up straight, Jim reached for my hand and said, “Sure.”

When we got to my bedroom, I jumped on my bed and motioned for Jim to remove my tights. As I lay on my back, I noticed the room was spinning slightly and I fought the urge to pass out. I felt Jim's hands roam my naked body until I felt his form hovering over mine. I absently pulled him toward me and kissed him. My mouth was dry and I wished I had a glass of water by my bed. Or root beer. I was vaguely aware that Jim had sat up to put on a condom. As I waited for him to finish, I imagined the sweet taste of root beer until he bent down toward me and our naked bodies pressed together. My body felt numb to Jim's touch but I was anxious to get past the awkwardness of our first time together so we could be a real couple. As Jim finished thrusting in and out of me with a loud groan, I smiled at the thought of us double dating with Claire and Kevin, or even Bob and Trish, and fell asleep.

An urgent need to go to the bathroom woke me up the next morning and when I sat up in bed, I instantly felt a throbbing in my temples which I was surprised hadn't jolted me out of my sleep earlier.

Momentarily forgetting where I was, I looked toward my opened door that led to the hallway, Lainie's room and the bathroom. Confused as to why my door wasn't closed, I glanced around searching for clues as to how I got there and immediately took note of my tights and panties on the floor by my bed. Slowly, the details of the night came back to me. Jim had come over and I had made him dinner. I was oddly hungry for having made so much food. Carefully stepping onto the floor, I walked two steps toward the door, had a flashback of giving Jim a strip tease, and fell back on the bed. On my back with my feet dangling off the edge, I closed my eyes and vaguely recalled having sex with Jim. I had no idea if I had enjoyed it.

I peed, made my way into the kitchen and was greeted by a sink full of dirty dishes. I didn't even remember clearing the table, which was now covered with drippings of melted candle wax. I could almost hear my mother chastising me for not using a tablecloth and
stuck a finger in each ear hoping to tune her out. Two empty bottles of wine were sitting next to the garbage can and, when I swallowed, I could still taste it at the back of my throat. It tasted better the first time around.

It suddenly made sense why I couldn't remember if the sex was good, and I laughed out loud. We had put away two bottles of wine and had drunk, probably sloppy, sex! Lord knows Bob and I didn't have movie-star sex every time either. Jim and I would just joke about it and make sure the second time was better.

I sat at my kitchen table, buried my head in my hands, and prayed there was aspirin in the apartment. Any plans for the day would be superseded by a long nap. I wondered how Jim was feeling and hoped, for his sake, he was in better shape than me. I didn't even remember him leaving but assumed he woke up early and didn't want to disturb my sleep.

After my nap, I cleaned the dishes and on my way downstairs to take out the trash, ran into Lainie.

She held the front door open for me while I tossed the bags into the dark green garbage bin and we walked back up together.

Climbing the stairs two at a time, she asked, “So, how'd it go?”

“Very well, I think.”
From what I remember.
I looked Lainie up and down with interest. “I see you're wearing the same clothes you had on last night. Crazy night?”

“Nothing too crazy. I made out with a hottie, but I have my period so I just crashed at my friend's place after a long night of karaoke.” After taking a water bottle from the refrigerator, Lainie sat down at the table and said, “So…how was it?”

Indecisive as to whether I wanted to join her at the table, I remained standing and replied, “It was fine.”

“Just fine?”

I sat down. “Good. It was good.”

“No details? Was he good? Does he have a big dick? C'mon, Jane! Help a sister out!”

Realizing I had no idea how big Jim's penis was — not that it was any of Lainie's business — I stood up and backed slowly out of the room. “I don't kiss and tell! But I'm happy. Very happy.”

“Nice. It would be nicer if you gave me some details, but it's still nice!”

“Maybe some other time, Lainie.”
Like when I have details to give.
Suddenly, I was exhausted again and ready for another nap, but my phone rang. Lainie picked it up from the table, answered, “Jane's phone” and handed it to me. Since I wanted to let it go to voicemail, I rolled my eyes at her as she mouthed, “It's Bob.”

I muttered, “I'll take it in my room” to Lainie before saying, “Hi. What's up?”

“Hey. Just thought I'd check in with you.”

My first thought was that maybe he broke it off with Trish. My second thought was that God would punish me for wishing something bad on my first love. I didn't really wish anything bad on Bob; I was just bitter that he was in another committed relationship before me. I hoped God knew the difference. “That was nice of you! How are things?”

“Hectic. Really hectic. I'm packing up my stuff for the move.”

“So you're still going through with it. I mean, things are still good with Trish?”

“Yeah, of course.”

“Great! I mean it.” If God was listening, I hoped he knew that I really did mean it.

“The move is killing me. Which brings me to my call.”

“I thought you just called to check in!”

Bob laughed. “Yeah, well that too!”

“What do you need from me?”

“Just wondering if you ever returned my box set of all the
Beverly Hills 90210
seasons.”

I walked with my phone to the living room and removed seasons one through three from the bottom drawer of the entertainment center. “You itching to watch the Walsh's bond over dinner or something?”

“Nah. You know Steve is the only character I liked. Maybe Valerie too. But when I told Trish I owned the entire collection, she acted like it was the equivalent of winning the lottery and now I can't find it.”

“I wonder where you put it,” I said.

“I thought I might have lent it to you.”

Back in my room, I shoved the DVDs into the back of my closet and said, “Nope. Don't have them. But I'll double check later.”

“OK. Thanks. So what's new? My mom told me you were dating some guy named Randall. How's that going?”

Our mothers being friends had been great when we were dating, not so much anymore. “That actually didn't work out. But I met someone else. Jim. He stayed over last night!” Feeling dumb over that last bit of unsolicited information, I said, “It got serious really fast.” I paused. “Like you and Trish.”

“Great! Can't wait to meet him and tell him all your dirty secrets.”

“I don't have any dirty secrets!”

Bursting into laughter, Bob said, “You're right. Sad, Jane. Really sad. Might want to work on that.”

“Ha ha!”

“Joking. Well, I gotta run. Let me know if you find the DVDs, OK?”

“I don't have them, but if they mysteriously appear, I'll let you know.”

After we hung up, I removed my LSAT practice test book from my dresser and brought it to my bed.

Next thing I knew, I woke up fully clothed with the book resting on my chest. No sunlight peeking through my window, I checked the clock and saw it was past one in the morning. I reached over, set my alarm for seven and got under the covers. I was about to fall asleep when I realized I hadn't brushed my teeth all day, reluctantly got up and went to the bathroom.

C
HAPTER
13

Monday morning, I opened a new document on my computer and began drafting my list of goals for the week: Spend at least two hours studying for the LSAT and review schedule of upcoming exam dates. Decide what to get parents for thirty-third wedding anniversary. Make appointment with gyno to go back on the pill…

“Is there a reason why you're whistling, Jane?”

I looked up to Andrew. His long arms were stretched above his head of light brown, almost red hair and his mouth was half-opened, midway through a yawn. “Sorry,” I said. “Am I bothering you?”

“Not really. Just curious why you're so happy. It's only Monday!”

“Exactly! It's the beginning of the week — plenty of time to accomplish goals by Friday!”

Andrew rolled his blue eyes. “Whatev.”

I returned to the screen and continued drafting: Go to gym at least twice after work. Make lunch plans with Claire….

“I guess you're over that guy, huh?”

Still focused on the computer screen, I said, “What guy?”

“The one who screened your calls?”

Swatting the air with my hands, I nodded and said, “Totally over him. Dating someone else now. So much better.”

Andrew stood up, dragged his chair over to my desk and sat back down. “Tell me about him.”

Not wanting Andrew to see my list, I minimized the screen and took a sip of coffee. “He's so nice!”

Andrew repeated, “Nice. Does that translate to ugly?”

“No! He's cute. Tall, in good shape, dark hair. Cute.” Looking questionably at Andrew, I said, “I thought you liked girls!”

“I do like girls, Jane! Just curious about your type. That's all.”

“I don't think I have a type.” Thinking better of it, I said, “Except that he can't screen my calls!”

Laughing, Andrew said, “That's not too unreasonable. So this dude takes your calls?”

Without hesitation, I said, “Yup.” But then I remembered I had never actually called Jim. “On second thought, I don't know! I've never called him first.”

“That's good. If a guy really likes you, he'll do the calling.”

“Exactly.” I glanced at my phone sitting at the top of my opened pocketbook. I removed it from the bag and checked whether I had any unread messages. I didn't. No missed calls either.

“What's wrong?”

I threw the phone back in my bag. “Nothing.” I turned away from Andrew and pretended to focus on my desktop while circling my mouse over the various icons.

Andrew removed my hand from the mouse and forced me to face him. “Bullshit. You were whistling like one of Snow White's freakin’ dwarves a few minutes ago. Now you've got a full bottom lip and sad puppy dog eyes!”

“Jim hasn't called me in a couple of days,” I reluctantly admitted.

Andrew raised one eyebrow. “Jim's the guy you're dating?”

I nodded.

“What's the deal?”

Shrugging my shoulders, I said, “Dunno. We hung out on Saturday night and I haven't heard from him since.”

“Typical chick,” Andrew chuckled. “Seriously, it's only Monday morning. No need to be alarmed, Jane.”

But I was. “I suppose. But ….”

“But what?”

I shrugged my shoulders again. “We, uh, we …” I felt my face get warm.

“You what?”

“We had sex for the first time on Saturday.”

“Did he stay over?”

“Yes.”
I think.

With a devilish grin, Andrew asked, “How was the sex?”

“It was fine. From what I remember. But that's beside the point. He was gone when I woke up on Sunday and I haven't heard from him since.” I felt a quivering in my bottom lip and placed my hand over my mouth to hide it from Andrew.

“Aw, Jane. You really know how to pick ‘em!” Andrew sighed dramatically.

I looked hopefully at him and said, “So you don't think he'll call? You said yourself that it's only Monday. No need to be alarmed. Right?”