A Very Crimson Christmas (Crimson, Colorado 4) (8 page)

Tucking the bag under his arm, he welcomed the rush of cold air. The sidewalk was crowded with holiday shoppers, the buildings along the main street glowing in the pale afternoon light. This would be a good town for LifeMap, he thought, despite his complicated history here. Unfortunately, the conversation he was about to have would almost certainly blow that kernel of a plan to bits.

Logan walked several paces, out of sight from the bakery window, then turned. “Whatever it is you want to say to me—”

“I’m sorry,” Liam interrupted.

Logan stilled for a moment, then tucked his hands into the pockets of his thick corduroy jacket. He didn’t respond, or throw Liam into a wall, which was a pretty good sign as far as Liam was concerned.

“I should have said it ten years ago or at any point since then, but I’m telling you now. You lost your sister that night and I’m sorry I was there, that I had anything to do with her death.” He drew in a breath, the cold air burning his lungs. “I’m sorry I didn’t stop her from getting into that car.”

Logan rocked back on his heels, glancing up at the gray sky for several long moments. A cloudy day in Colorado was a rare thing, even in the winter. Liam thought it fit the tenor of this conversation perfectly.

“I blamed a lot of people for the accident that killed Beth,” he said finally. “My parents, my brothers and myself most of all.” His piercing blue eyes, as cloudy as the sky above, met Liam’s. “For a while I blamed you, too. Plus the idiot who was driving.”

“I shouldn’t have let it happen. I’d been drinking—we’d all been drinking—but I wasn’t so far gone that I didn’t know better.” He crossed and uncrossed his arms over his chest, pain from the memory of that night slicing through him. “I’d had a fight with my dad that day, and Natalie was busy with her grandma, who was really sick. I just wanted to forget everything, to obliterate it with alcohol.”

“You and Beth had that in common,” Logan said quietly.

“If I could change what happened, trade places—”

“No.” Logan cut him off, shaking his head. “You were the only one to survive the accident. That’s a lot of guilt to carry around for a decade. Things happened the way they did. No one can change the past. I wish it would have been different, but I’m done with blame and guilt. They were my relentless companions for a lot of years, but I’ve left them behind.”

“I’m glad,” Liam said honestly. “I’m guessing your wife has a lot to do with that.”

“It took me a long time to believe I deserved to be happy, that I was more than what people around here thought of me.”

“From what Jase has told me, you’re now the go-to contractor for historic remodels in the area.”

Logan shrugged his broad shoulders. “I do all right. Turns out I was a lot harder on myself than anyone else.” One blond brow lifted. “Sound familiar?”

Liam barked out a laugh. “It’s a bit of a different story with me. I was always an outsider in Crimson.”

“Not to Ruth. Or Natalie.” He held up a hand when Liam would have argued. “I don’t particularly care whether you stay or go. Although I will say that Natalie has been a good friend to my wife, and I like my wife to be happy. But if you do decide to look seriously at Crimson, let me know if you need help with locations or buildings. I’ve got some contacts around the area.”

“Thank you.” The two words seemed inadequate, but they were all Liam could manage.

Logan nodded. “I’m going to bring Olivia that tea.” He went to step around Liam, then paused. “A few of us are going out to my brother’s ranch for dinner Wednesday night. They’re having a pre-Winterfest party. If you’re available, come by around six. Jase will be there, and Noah Crawford is coming up from Denver.”

“I haven’t seen Noah since high school,” Liam answered. “We played football together for a year.” He toed the sidewalk with one boot. “Is Natalie invited?”

“Always to the ranch, but she doesn’t usually make it unless she’s off work. That woman works more than anyone I’ve ever seen.” He gave Liam the barest hint of a smile. “If you can convince her to take a break, everyone would love to see her.”

“She isn’t... I don’t...” Liam stammered then stopped himself. “I’ll try,” he answered simply. Logan nodded and walked back to the bakery.

Liam took a deep breath, realizing a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. Maybe this town wasn’t such a bad place for him after all.

Chapter Nine

“M
om, come down here.” Austin’s voice was pitched high with excitement. “You’ve got to see this.”

Natalie took one last look in the mirror. She pulled her hair back, feeling a little stupid that she’d curled it. They were just putting up Christmas decorations, no reason to wear her hair in anything but her normal practical ponytail. But after straightening her cherry-red sweater, she flipped her hair over her shoulder. It was even stupider to waste a decent-hair day because of nerves.

She pinched her cheeks and turned for the stairs, glancing back at the mirror one more time. Her dark jeans were tucked into knee-high boots and she hoped she looked casual, not as if she’d gone to great lengths to get ready this evening. For most women, jeans and a sweater were probably daily attire, but she spent most days in scrubs or sweatpants, so it felt as though she was Cinderella getting ready for the ball.

“Mom!” The cry was louder this time, and Natalie ran down the steps and to the front door, then stopped short.

“What the...”

Two huge trucks were parked in the driveway and a team of six men unloaded boxes and cartons onto the front yard. Liam’s black SUV pulled up behind them and he climbed out, a huge grin on his face as he met her gaze.

“What’s all the commotion?” Ruth came to stand next to Natalie. Her eyes widened as three of the men pulled a wire snowman out of the truck that was well over six feet tall.

“Look at all this.” Austin jumped up and down on the front porch. “It’s our very own winter wonderland. There’s more decorations here than at Winterfest.”

Liam came to the edge of the porch. “I wanted to give you the biggest, brightest Christmas you’ve ever seen,” he said to Ruth.

Austin looked back over his shoulder. “It’s so awesome. Right, Ms. Ruth?”

Natalie saw the older woman look between Liam and Austin. “Are these my decorations?” Her voice was small and confused.

“Liam got them for you, Ruth.” Natalie put her arm around the woman’s bony shoulders. “It was a surprise.”

“I have colored lights,” Ruth said, pointing to the strands of soft white lights one of the workers had just plugged in near the side of the house. “Those aren’t my lights.”

Natalie glanced at Liam out of the corner of her eye and saw his smile drop. “We’ll put colored lights on the tree,” she said quickly. “Remember your tree with the snow on the tips? We’re going to hang ornaments on that tonight.”

“And colored lights?” Ruth asked, her brow knitted in concern.

“You bet.”

Ruth nodded, her gaze taking in all the boxes as she rubbed her hands up and down her arms. “It’s cold out here. I’m going to sit by the fire.
Wheel of Fortune
is on now.”

“Austin, walk Ms. Ruth back to the family room.”

Her son started to protest, then caught her eye. “Can I come back out when they’ve got it set up?”

“Yes, if you put on a coat and boots. Ruth is right. It’s cold tonight.”

The older woman started down the hall as Natalie motioned Austin to follow. “The decorations are cool, Liam,” she said as he entered the house. “She’s going to love them once they’re put up.”

“Should I have them take everything away?” Liam asked when they were alone. His mouth was a tight line, a muscle ticked in his jaw. “Did I mess this up, too?”

She could have told him “yes,” accused him of trying to throw his money around to impress them all. That would have ended whatever was bubbling between them, cut the connection for good. It would be the easy thing to do, the way to protect her heart from being hurt again. To keep her life orderly and controlled, just the way she’d crafted it for so many years.

But she knew that wanting to show off wasn’t what motivated this bit of extravagance. The light in his eyes when he got out of the car, the excitement that bounced off him was just like Austin’s. He’d wanted to make his nanny happy, pure and simple. It was an unspoken fact that this might be the last Christmas Ruth would spend at her beloved farm, and Natalie knew Liam wanted to make sure it was one she wouldn’t forget, no matter how age and illness eventually ravaged her mind and body.

The fact that it hadn’t worked out the way he’d planned broke her heart for him. When she looked at him now she saw a little boy who wanted his parents’ love and approval but never got it. Who’d been sent to a military academy and expensive boarding schools and finally to live with a woman who wasn’t even a member of his own family so that his needs didn’t interfere with the lives of the people who’d brought him into the world.

She took a step closer to him, lifted her hand to the back of his neck. The muscles corded there, rigid and inflexible and she began to massage them gently. “Let them put up the decorations, Liam. We’ll do the inside of the house with the things she remembers.”

“She doesn’t want this,” he snapped, the bitterness in his voice at odds with the way his body swayed closer to hers. He dropped his head to give her better access, making her smile a little. Liam was like a puppy, always wanting to be scratched and petted—at least once someone got beyond his defenses. A puppy hidden under a turtle’s protective shell.

Natalie understood the instinct for self-protection, for not trusting anyone to have your best interests at heart. Ruth had been one of the few people Liam had let in and he was grasping for a way to make her happy.

“She wants you here,” Natalie said. “She got out the scrapbook again this morning.”

He jerked in response to her words. “Katie Garrity mentioned the scrapbook. Why haven’t I heard about this before?”

“I thought you’d seen it.”

He shook his head.

“Let me just say,” she said with a harsh laugh, “that Austin knows more about you than he does about his own father. Ruth whips that thing out every chance she gets.”

He sighed, but his eyes softened. “She shouldn’t do that.”

“She loves you and she’s proud of you.”

“But she doesn’t want my gaudy Christmas display?”

“We’ll see what happens when these guys are done.” She lowered her hand and wrapped it around his hard biceps, tipping her head to rest against his shoulder as they watched the men work in the fading light. “You can’t make them stop now. Austin would be crushed.”

“He’s a really great kid, Nat. You’ve done an amazing job with him.” He wrapped his arm around her waist, drawing her closer. “Your ex-husband is an idiot,” he whispered against her hair.

“Preaching to the choir.”

They stood there in comfortable silence for several minutes, until their breathing matched. She felt safe enveloped in the warmth of him. The heat of his body was like the perfect blanket warding off the frosty temperature. At least that’s how it felt inside, as if she was lit from within thanks to her feelings for him.

The sound of tires on the gravel driveway broke the spell. A shiver passed through her and she tried to step away when Tanner parked and got out of his truck, two pizza boxes and a brown paper bag in his hands. But Liam didn’t let her go.

“Hey, Tanner, would you grab the bag that’s on the backseat of the SUV?”

“Sure thing, boss. Looks like the crew is going to turn this place into the North Pole in record time. Nice work.”

“It makes me feel just like my father,” Liam said, finally taking his arm away, moving to the edge of the porch. “Spending guilt money because I ignored her for so long. I always got the best birthday gifts. There were crazy, extravagant presents the years he and my mother forgot. The more belated my birthday celebration, the more over-the-top they went on things.”

“That isn’t what this is about.”

Tanner bounded up the porch steps. “Do you want me to have them bring in the boxes for the inside?”

“No.” Liam’s fingers clenched around the porch rail.

Tanner glanced at Natalie. “We’re going to use Ruth’s decorations for the inside,” she told him. “They’re in the attic. I can get them down after we eat.”

“Sounds good,” he said, balancing all the food in one arm as he clapped a hand on Liam’s shoulder. “This is going to be amazing out here.”

Liam grunted in response. Tanner lifted his brows at Natalie, a question in his eyes. Certainly he was used to Liam’s moods and gruffness. They should just go into the house and leave him to stew with his thoughts. But she couldn’t desert him right now, watching a group of strangers lay elfin siege to the farmhouse out in the cold.

“Come on,” she said softly. She placed her hand over his on the rail, loosening his fingers enough to lace hers with them. “Let’s eat, then you can help me pull out her tree.”

“The one with the fake snow sprayed on the branches?” He held her hand tightly as they turned for the house.

“I hope she has a singing Santa Claus,” Tanner said, opening the door to lead them in.

“How did you know?” Natalie laughed, then gasped as Liam spun her around, pressing a quick, hard kiss to her mouth.

“Thank you for making this okay,” he whispered.

And she realized it was. At this moment, everything in her life was okay, even holding hands with the man who once shattered her heart. Natalie didn’t exactly believe in Christmas miracles, but even she had to admit the season suddenly seemed filled with a lot more magic.

* * *

“Do you think there’s a show on cable dedicated to holiday hoarders?” Liam shoved another box toward the attic steps. The pile was huge.

Natalie pulled out an oversize plastic Santa from a far corner. “Some of this stuff creeps me out.” She held the Santa in front of her, and Liam grimaced. Paint was chipped off the face, leaving the jolly old fellow looking like the victim of a flesh-eating virus.

“That can’t come down,” he said with a laugh. “Unless her theme is ‘The Walking Dead Christmas,’ Santa needs to stay hidden.”

She giggled in response and shoved the figure behind a dresser. “I didn’t realize her attic was so full.”

“I definitely wouldn’t have needed to bring in any extra decorations.”

“In the end, she loved it.”

That was true. By the time they’d finished the pizza and brownies, the guys he’d paid to decorate the outside of the house had finished. They’d waited until the sun had set completely, then bundled up and gone out to the front yard to view the display. Liam had felt like Clark Griswold, embarrassingly excited to flip the switch for the lights.

As worried as he’d been, it had turned out just how he wanted. White lights twinkled along the roofline and dangled like icicles over the eaves of the house, giving the whole place a festive glow. They’d set up two large inflatable displays, one of children building a snowman and the other of a family of penguins ice skating. It was a little hokey, but Ruth’s eyes had lit up at the sight.

Once she’d been assured that all her beloved Christmas decorations were going to be used, Ruth had been happy, which was all Liam wanted in the first place. Tanner and Austin were downstairs in her family room now putting together the circa nineteen-seventy-something tree with the sprayed-on snow. Liam wasn’t much for nostalgia. That would imply halcyon memories, which hadn’t been a part of his youth. But the first glimpse of that tree had brought him back to the first Christmas he’d spent in Crimson during high school. Although there had been no extravagant gifts or globe-trotting trips, it had been one of his favorite holidays. He understood why Ruth’s time-worn ornaments and decorations meant so much to her.

Lost in thought, he turned directly into Natalie with the box he held. She gave a muffled grunt as the sharp edge of the box’s corner stabbed her in the stomach.

“Oh, Nat.” He dropped the box behind him and put his hands on her arms. “Are you okay?”

“Fine,” she said on a wheeze, still doubled over. “Just lost my breath for a second.”

Glancing around, he moved her back a few steps to where an old love seat had been abandoned. Pulling off the sheet that covered it, he pushed her down as gently as he could.

“It’s okay,” she said again, leaning back against the faded cushions. Her fingers rubbed a spot on the center of her belly. “I should have been paying attention to where I was going. Or where you were going.”

“My fault,” he said, removing her hand and lifting the hem of her shirt.

“Liam.” She swatted at him.

“Natalie.” He covered her fingers with one hand and pushed her sweater up with the other. An angry red scratch marred the smooth skin of her stomach.

“This is not a big deal,” she said, her voice sounding more breathless than it had a few minutes ago. He figured he might be to blame for that. Because suddenly the unheated attic was overly warm. “I was looking at your butt,” she muttered, closing her eyes.

Liam tried to hide his grin. “Checking me out, huh?”

“Not the first or last time, I’m sure.” She tugged at his fingers, but he didn’t let go. Wondered why he’d ever let her go. “I got my karmic payback.” She pulled her sweater down, but he kept his hand on her skin, unable to break the contact with her.

“You were the only one who ever mattered,” he said softly, tracing circles on her stomach.

Her eyes fluttered open, and the heat in her gaze, the charge of electricity nearly melted him. Her lips parted, the pink tip of her tongue darting across their fullness.

He nearly groaned before lowering his head, using his tongue to lick the corner of her lips, then capturing her mouth with his. She was soft and tasted a little like brownies, sweet and rich. He let his fingers splay across her stomach as the kiss deepened, then moved them up to the curve of her breast.

Her answering moan made him crazy with need. She kissed him like her life depended on it, erasing every minute they’d been apart. His fingers found the peak of her nipple under the thin fabric of her bra, and she gasped when he squeezed the hard tip.

“Liam,” she breathed against his mouth, arching into him. Any blood that was left in his head moved south. His desire for her so intense it almost drove him crazy. He needed some release, any release. Since he wasn’t about to take her in the middle of a dusty attic, he decided that his best option would be to turn his attention fully to her. Natalie spent her life working and worrying. From what he could tell, she was wound so tight she might snap at any moment.