A Walk in Heaven (3 page)

Careen caught her reflection in the full-length mirror standing in the corner of the room. Matthew’s blood sprinkled across her bodice and even smudged her cheek. She tried wiping away the stain as images floated through her mind of their fast courtship through the letters, and especially since meeting him yesterday. He’d been so attentive. So caring and loving. They’d shared their dreams of the future – a future she’d never have now.

Tears Careen didn’t think she had left resurfaced and filled her eyes as she told Betsy what had happened.

Betsy rushed to Careen’s side, touching her arm. “He’s d—d—dead?”

Careen’s legs trembled as a sob rose to her throat. She took a deep breath to control it. “Yes. I’m now a widow.”

Betsy gasped, her hands flying to her mouth. “No…no…”

“That’s not the worst of it.” Careen stumbled to the chair and sat, resting her elbows on the small table. “Luther showed up unexpectedly not too long afterwards.”

“He did? But…that can’t be right. Your wedding was a secret.”

“I know.” Careen sighed heavily. “I wish I could figure it out, but I can’t.”

Silence lasted a few moments before Betsy drew closer. “I worried that he would find out when you had put that ad in the newspaper for a mail-order bride.”

“What else was I to do? Luther wanted the money Mother and Father left me upon their deaths. Since I’m not twenty-five yet and cannot obtain my inheritance until then, I had to do something to stop my cousin. Leaving Iowa before he forced me into marriage was the only way.”

A tear slid down Betsy’s cheek. “I know. Forgive me for saying anything.”

“There’s no use living in the past. We need to keep moving forward.”

“What did Luther do when he saw you? Did he try to get you to return home with him?”

“Yes, but thankfully the law arrested him and put him in jail.”

The maid raised a skeptical brow. “Why?”

Careen hesitated to confess what happened. It was so hard to admit how Matthew really died. Only because guilt gnawed on her conscience, and she didn’t want to think this was all her fault. “Apparently, while the gunfight was going on across the road from the church, Luther thought he’d take the opportunity to shoot my husband.” She took a deep breath. “Luther killed Matthew.”

“Oh, no!”
A river of tears filled Betsy’s wide eyes as her face lost color. “Luther has always been an evil person, but I never figured he’d actually…kill someone.”

“I agree, but thankfully, he’s in jail now and won’t try to stop me from going to Montana.”

“Montana? Why there?”

A paper and pencil lay on the table, so Careen pulled them to her. She needed to jot down her thoughts before sending a telegraph to Matthew’s parents. “We’ll go there to deliver Matthew’s body to his family. They live just outside Virginia City on a cattle ranch.”

“A ranch?
Did I ever tell you that I grew up on a farm? I’m certain I’ll be able to help his family around their ranch.”

Nodding, Careen sat at the table then shooed her maid with her hands.
“That’s fine and good, but now hurry
and get us packed. I want to be on the train leaving first thing in the morning. We cannot wait another day.”

“Yes, you are correct.” Betsy rushed into the bedroom.

Groaning, Careen covered her face with her hands. She wasn’t anticipating meeting Matthew’s family, but she must present herself in the best possible light. She couldn’t have his family thinking poorly of her for convincing Matthew to have a secret wedding.

Careen also needed to send the telegraph as soon as possible to let them know she was coming with his body. Tears slipped down her cheeks again as she wrote. Sadness – and guilt – tightened her chest so much she could scarcely breathe. Although deep in her heart she knew his death wasn’t her fault, a part of her mind believed that if she hadn’t married him, he’d still be alive. If she hadn’t convinced Matthew to marry the mail-order bride and meet her halfway between Montana and Iowa, Luther wouldn’t have come after her and killed Matthew.

Saying a silent prayer for strength, Careen stood. She grabbed her cloak and wrapped it around her stained dress. “Betsy, I’m going to send the telegraph and purchase our train tickets now,” she called out.

“Please, be careful.”

“I will.” Before leaving the hotel room, Careen placed a bonnet over her disheveled hair.

She treaded through town with eyes downcast. If people looked at her with pity in their gazes, she wouldn’t be able to bear it.

Helplessness grew inside her. Her future was uncertain, and in her frame of mind, she couldn’t think of anything but getting Matthew’s body to his family. The past thirty-six hours had been an emotional whirlwind. Hell couldn’t be any worse than the turmoil Pierre, South Dakota, had brought her. She prayed Virginia City would be a walk in heaven compared to what she’d been through.

Chapter Two

Joshua Grayson kicked his heels against the steed’s middle, urging his horse faster. One hand gripped the reins while he sent a lariat sailing with the other. The persistent little calf slipped from his grasp, and Joshua vowed he wouldn’t quit until he tied that animal soundly.

Usually, roping came naturally to him. He’d been doing it since he was young and followed after his old man’s footsteps. Now his mind – or heart – wasn’t on the task. This morning his mother brought bad news from town by way of a telegraph from South Dakota.

Matthew was dead.

Emotion clogged Joshua’s throat. He gritted his teeth and pushed his horse faster, closer to the calf
who
ran away from the herd. He let the lasso fly and roped the beast perfectly. Quickly stopping the horse, he jumped down and finished tying the rope around the animal’s neck. If he had to drag the calf back to the herd, he would. Once the calf settled down, Joshua mounted his horse and started back to the ranch. His mind quickly returned to his brother and the telegraph.

Shot.

Dead.

And…
Married.

Grumbling, Joshua rubbed his stinging eyes. Why his brother had foolishly left the family business to travel to South Dakota for a woman he’d never met was beyond all reasoning. Matthew had done some ridiculous stunts in his life, but a mail-order bride had to be the worst. His brother certainly wasn’t thinking of their mother’s weak heart, either. Even now Joshua wouldn’t be surprised if this news brought on another death in their family, but he prayed Ma’s heart wouldn’t fail her now.

Sadness wrenched Joshua’s heart. His parents had taken Matthew’s death very hard.
Of course, hearing that their boy snuck away in the dead of night to get married hadn’t settled well with them, either.
Joshua had caught Matthew leaving that night, and he hesitantly told Joshua about the Southern Belle from Charleston he’d been corresponding with who lived in Iowa with her aunt. Joshua had tried to talk his stubborn brother out of it, but as always, Matthew did whatever he wanted.

Joshua and his brother hadn’t been close. Not really. As boys, they competed constantly, and as young men, it had only gotten worse. Joshua focused on the ranch while Matthew’s head floated with the clouds on a daily basis, dreaming about wooing the ladies. Most of the young women Matthew courted in town had turned their eyes on Joshua. Not that he encouraged or wanted their attention, but Matthew had never believed him. Perhaps this was Matthew’s reasons for marrying a stranger.

Their last words were those in anger, and Joshua’s heart cried out for forgiveness.

“You’re nothing but a fool, Matthew,” Joshua bit out. “One day you’ll regret making this hasty decision, and you’ll see I was right.”

“Stop trying to tell me how to live my life. I’m not you! I don’t ever want to be you!” Matthew spun around and marched toward his horse with his saddlebags flung over his shoulder.

That was Joshua’s last memory of his brother. A headache pounded in his head. He’d give anything to see his brother one last time. And tell him how much he loved him.

Joshua stabled his horse before heading to the main house for supper. He really didn’t feel like visiting with his anyone tonight, but being with his family and supporting each other was the only way to get through this crisis. Jessica and Frances would need him now more than ever. His four-year-old daughters had a difficult time understanding when their mother died two years ago, they would definitely not understand why God took Uncle Matthew as well.

Joshua climbed the porch, removed his hat, and swiped a gloved hand across his moist brow. He’d kept busy today, trying to pull his thoughts away from his brother’s death. Now his body was as exhausted as his mind.

When he entered the front door, his daughters’ lighthearted voices drifted through the house as they assisted their grandma and their cook with the meal. The sad tone of his mother’s voice tugged on his heart, and yet he knew his daughters helped to heal his mother’s spirits today.

He studied his mother for a few seconds, to assess her condition. Thankfully, she moved around the kitchen in her normal routine and there were no signs of heart problems.

Joshua entered the kitchen and stopped. Two curly haired, blonde girls with pink ribbons in their hair turned cherubic faces his way and smiled.

“Papa!”

Holding out his arms, he readied himself to
swoop
them up, but as soon as they reached him, his mother called out, making them stop. Curious, he looked her way.

“Go get cleaned up first,” she said, motioning her hand over his dusty attire. “You’ll get the girls dirty if you hug them now.”

Leave it to Ma to think of things like that at a time like this. He gave his daughters a wink then touched a finger to each freckled nose. “Finish helping Grandma, and I’ll be right back.”

As he stepped out on the back porch to wash his hands and face, a smile stole across his face. Those two little girls always brightened his day. Even though he’d wanted a boy, the good Lord blessed him with beautiful twin daughters. They were angels sent from heaven. Now those two adorable females were the rays in his sunshine. But today not even his daughters could lighten his heavy heart.

Joshua just prayed his daughters didn’t turn out like their mother – insane. That was his worst fear.

Once he removed the caked-on dirt from his face and hands, he dried off before returning to the kitchen. His father and two younger brothers moved around the large table to take their places. Joshua sat between his daughters, giving them each a kiss on the cheek.

On cue, everyone clasped their hands in front of them and bowed their heads while his father offered up prayer. William Grayson thanked the Lord for their bounty and many blessings. With a choked voice, he thanked the Lord for the blessing of having Matthew in their lives, even if for a short time.

Tears welled in Joshua’s eyes and he squeezed them tighter, hoping not to lose control of his emotions at the table. He needed to stay strong for his parents, for his brothers, but especially for his darling girls.

William ended the prayer, and everyone murmured,
Amen.
Nobody voiced their thoughts as they filled their plates with food. Not even Frances or Jessica spoke. After a few minutes of silence, his mother cleared her throat and partook of everyone around the table.

“I know we’re all shocked about Matthew’s death, but I don’t think I finished telling you what the telegraph said.” Elizabeth dabbed a napkin to her mouth.

Joshua’s father placed a hand over his wife’s. “What did it say, Ma?”

Moisture gathered in his mother’s eyes and she quickly blinked. “Matthew’s new bride – widow – will be accompanying his casket. She would like to visit and get to know us all. She was the one who sent the telegraph.”

Joshua gripped the napkin in his hands. Words spoken in anger from his brother the last time they talked, rushed through his memory. Seeing Matthew’s mail-order bride would be difficult, especially knowing Joshua could never again ask forgiveness. After all, she was the reason his brother acted like a fool when he ran off to marry the Southern Belle.

“It’s going to be hard, Ma,” he grumbled.

“Pardon me?” she asked with wide, curious eyes. “What’s going to be hard?”

He rubbed his forehead, regret growing inside of him. Perhaps he shouldn’t have said anything. But how could he keep silent now? “It’s going to be hard to treat her civilly.”

William scowled. “And why do you think that, son?”

Joshua sighed heavily and met his pa’s heated stare. “Because
she
was the reason Matthew left in the first place. We don’t even know her – Matthew didn’t even know her. How do we know she’s a good Christian woman? I mean, what sort of woman is a mail-order bride anyway? Who knows what kind of ilk someone like that would be.”

“Oh, dear,” Elizabeth mumbled, waving her hand in front of her face. She switched her attention to William, imploring him with her eyes. “Do you suppose she is a…
wanton
?” She whispered the last word.

Joshua’s father shook his head. “I believe we’re condemning the woman before we’ve even met her. I’m quite certain she had good reason to be a mail-order bride. Most women like that do.”

Ma nodded. “Josh, your father is absolutely right. We cannot judge her. Has the Bible verse slipped your mind?
Judge not lest ye be judged?
”

Grumbling, Joshua raked his fingers through his hair. “But what Matthew did was out of character for him.”

“I have to agree with Josh,” Peter commented, his expression filled with bitterness as he chewed a mouthful of potatoes. Peter was a year younger than Matthew, and the two brothers had been like twins, they were so close not only in personalities, but in appearance.

“Not too long ago,” Peter continued, “Matthew was talking to me about courting Laura
Checketts
. Then, out of nowhere, he starts writing to this Careen woman, and making rash decisions. It’s hard not to blame her for our brother’s irrational behavior.”

“Boys, calm down.” William spoke softly. “None of us can know what went through Matthew’s mind, but I think we’re judging this woman too harshly.”

Joshua blew out a frustrated sigh.
“Harshly?
Pa, if not for Careen Kennedy, Matthew would still be alive!”

“Stop right there,” William warned. “She is
not
at fault.”

“I agree with Josh.” Gage set his fork on the table harder than
necessary,
his eyebrows drew together as he aimed his gaze at William. As the youngest brother, he resembled a little of both parents. “Why did Matthew run off in the middle of the night without telling anyone? He shouldn’t have run off to begin with. This…woman must have put some kind of spell over Matthew to make him do something so irrational.”

Elizabeth gasped and brought her hand to her mouth. “You cannot possibly think—”

“And why not, Ma?”
Joshua cut her off. “I’m certain the thought has crossed your mind already. This woman is cunning in the worst way. Matthew shouldn’t have done what he did, but she had somehow beguiled him. If Matthew had only confided in one of us, or even Pa, we could have stopped this tragedy from happening.”

Gage and Peter murmured agreements.

William slammed his palm flat on the table. Silence grew in the room except for the grandfather clock clanging seven times, announcing the hour. The head of the household took a deep breath,
then
released it slowly. “What you boys don’t understand is that Matthew did this of his own free will. It was your brother’s choice to write to this girl and meet her in South Dakota. Even if she held a gun to his head, it was still Matthew’s choice. Nobody can make us do something we don’t wish.” He shook his head. “We may never know why the Lord took him, but we must believe He had a good reason. We cannot doubt the Lord.”

He sipped his lemonade as his gaze moved around the table. When his scowl rested on Ma, the dark expression covering his face quickly disappeared and he smiled. “I think it’s rather nice of Matthew’s bride to come meet us. Don’t you?”