Abide with Me (15 page)

“What’s that?” Raymond asked.

“I don’t really know how to bring this up,” she said.

“Bring up what?”

“I got this from the FBI. I told you they had some more questions.
Maybe you know about it, but it could cause us a few problems,” Lisa said.

“Are you going to let me read it?” Raymond asked.

“I’m not sure. Let me just tell you the facts. The FBI discovered that your partner, Trent, was arrested on March 15, 1996,” Lisa said. Her words emerged painfully slowly.

Raymond’s heart was beating wildly with a strange mixture of rage and sorrow. His body became warm with moisture.

“That couldn’t be,” Raymond said. “That can’t be possible.”

“I had them double-check it,” Lisa said sadly.

“Arrested for what?”

“He was picked up for approaching an undercover cop in an adult bookstore,” Lisa said. “The report states Trent was seen in the parking lot several times during the week of March fifteenth,” she added.

Raymond shook his head in disbelief and gazed at the walls of the restaurant. The color of the walls made him dizzy as they progressed from pastel blue to shrimp pink and then into a large window he hadn’t noticed before.

“Are you all right? I really hate telling you this. I wanted you to know because if the NAACP or the ministers get this information, well, it wouldn’t be good for our battle,” Lisa said.

“This just … can’t be. Not Trent,” Raymond said. His voice trailed off weakly as the feeling of fury and disappointment raged in his throat.

Lisa gently touched his hand in a show of concern and support and said, “This isn’t the end of the road. It may never come up. We’ll be just fine.” Lisa was trying to reassure Raymond, even though she knew the information might create a major roadblock for Raymond’s nomination.

But Raymond didn’t hear Lisa’s words or see the concern on her face, nor did he notice the waitress pick up the check. He wasn’t
thinking about the NAACP, the ministers, or the position on the federal bench. All Raymond could think about was the man he loved who promised him to always be faithful and true had lied.

Raymond drove slowly and automatically, his mind numb, trying to forget Lisa’s words. When Raymond arrived home, still in a semidaze, he was happy the house was silent. He immediately went to his office and located his executive planner for March ’96. Where was he the day Trent was arrested? Had he been working on an important case which kept him at the office late or had he been out of town?

It took him only a few seconds to see New York and a squiggly line through the entire week. Raymond suddenly remembered being in New York, taking depositions for a case. He remembered his evening phone calls to Trent, who would always end the conversation by asking Raymond if he loved him and missed him. Raymond always replied, I do and of course I miss you. He also recalled when he couldn’t reach Trent during a twenty-four-hour period. When the two finally spoke Trent told Raymond he’d suddenly decided to go to Wednesday night prayer meeting. As Raymond remembered that conversation, his face became warm with anger as he wondered how many lies Trent had told him.

The phone rang and Raymond hoped it was Trent. Maybe he knew what Lisa had told him and was calling with an explanation. Raymond knew this was only wishful thinking on his part. “Hello,” he said.

“Raymond?” Raymond recognized Lisa’s voice.

“Yes, Lisa.”

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Raymond lied.

“Are you sure? Is there anything I can do for you?”

“No, Lisa. This is something I’ve got to handle,” Raymond said.

“If you need me, call. Do you have my home number?”

“I think so. Yes, I have it,” Raymond replied. He didn’t know where it was, but he knew he wouldn’t call Lisa at home anyway.

“Hang in there. This is a small setback. Everything will be just fine,” Lisa assured.

“I know,” Raymond lied as he hung up the phone. He knew things might never be the same.

Raymond went to the kitchen and poured a glass of wine and forced himself to drink it slowly. He didn’t need to be intoxicated when Trent arrived home. Raymond picked up the phone and started to call Trent at his office and demand that he come home immediately. No, he couldn’t do that. He thought about calling Jared, but didn’t know how he would tell his best friend how his partner had been unfaithful. Raymond didn’t want Jared to think critically of Trent. He thought of his mother, but decided against her for the same reasons. Maybe this information wasn’t true. But what if it was?

What would he do? Play the lawyer and try to uncover the facts, or just shout out to his partner, “How could you do this to us?”

After two glasses of wine Raymond felt a little relaxed, and decided to take a shower. As the warm water and soap slid over his body, he imagined Trent coming in and not knowing what Raymond knew. Often when Trent came home and heard Raymond in the shower, he would undress and join him. They both enjoyed making love in their oversized cascading shower. But now the way Raymond was feeling, he didn’t even want to think about Trent in an intimate way.

After his shower Raymond had another glass of wine and checked his messages. There was a call from his father, who wanted to know if Raymond had a date for his confirmation hearing because he and his wife wanted to stay in D.C. for a couple days of sight-seeing. One of his law school classmates had called to congratulate him on the nomination, and the last message was from Trent saying he was working “real late so don’t wait up.” For the first time since he’d fallen in love with Trent, he wondered if he was really working late.

On a cloudy summer day that felt more like fall, the music of Erykah Badu enveloped the Springer-Stovall apartment as Yancey and Nicole were enjoying their last afternoon in New York City for a while. The two women would be traveling to Washington, D.C., the following morning for the first stop of the planned six-week tour.

Nicole and Yancey spent the day shopping for makeup, music, and books for the trip and were waiting on Jared for an early dinner at one of Nicole’s favorite restaurants, JUdson Grill. She had just offered Yancey a glass of apple juice when the phone rang.

“Let me get this, it’s probably my husband,” Nicole said as she turned down the CD player.

“Go ahead. I’ll get the juice,” Yancey said.

“Hello.”

“Is this Nicole Springer-Stovall?” Raymond asked.

“Raymond? How you doing, Mister Judge-to-be?” Nicole asked.

“I’m doing fine. I got a message you called me,” Raymond said.

“Yeah. Seems like we got a little problem,” Nicole said.

“What?”

“I got a call from Peaches, and she’s having some problems with her landlord not wanting to renew the lease she and Enoch have. Seems like he wants to sell. This guy just inherited the place from his father, who had told Peaches and Enoch they could live there forever. But Peaches thinks the son wants them out because of the Sunday afternoon dinners she gives for AIDS patients,” Nicole said.

“Well, if it is, that’s totally illegal. And you could possibly make the argument of an oral agreement. The last time I talked with Peaches, she seemed so excited about the work she was doing. It would be a shame if she lost the place,” Raymond said.

“Yes, it would. I told her I would give you a call. When Jared told me you had taken a leave of absence, I thought you might be looking for something to keep you busy,” Nicole said.

“I can’t tell you how true that is,” Raymond said. Nicole detected a sudden sadness in his voice.

“Is everything okay, Raymond?”

“Huh … Yeah, everything is fine. But it would be good to get to New York and help Peaches out. It would be good seeing you too,” Raymond said as his voice returned to a rich and clear tone.

“I’d love to see you also, but unless you get here tonight—then I’ll miss you. I leave tomorrow for D.C. Didn’t Jared tell you I was doing
Dreamgirls
again?”

“That’s right, he did. I was surprised I didn’t see you the other day when I was watching
Rosie O’Donnell
. What happened?” Raymond asked.

“It was a simple mix-up,” Nicole said. She looked over at Yancey, who grinned at her as she placed the bottle of juice on the counter. “I was kinda sad about it, but I’ll have my chance to be on
Rosie
. Besides, I have a great understudy,” Nicole added as Yancey blushed.

“I know you will. Well, tell my niggah I called and hopefully I’ll see him next week. I’m going to stop in Chicago and see my little brother and parents, then maybe I can head to New York. I’ll give Peaches a call,” Raymond said.

“I’ll tell Jared. I’m sorry I’m going to miss you. But soon we’ll all have to get together. How is Trent?”

“Trent is all right,” Raymond said softly. “Look, I need to run, Nicole. Take care, I love you.”

“And I love you. Good-bye.”

Nicole hung up the phone, smiled to herself, and returned to the counter where Yancey was sitting.

“What is that smile about?” Yancey asked as she placed her sweating glass of juice on a plastic coaster.

“No reason. It’s just always good talking to Raymond. Remember the man I told you about?”

“Yeah, the man that’s your husband’s best friend, who is also gay, who you used to date. Honey, this is a modern world we’re living in!” Yancey laughed.

“Yes, isn’t it?” Nicole asked as she refilled her juice glass.

“So you really loved this Raymond guy, huh?”

“Yeah, I did. But Raymond came into my life for another reason,” Nicole said softly.

“What do you mean?”

“I think the Lord put Raymond in my life so that I could meet Jared. Some people come in our life to move us toward what we should be doing, and who we should be doing it with. I still love Raymond, but now like a dear friend,” Nicole said.

“That’s wonderful! I knew the moment I met you I wanted to have a woman like you for a friend,” Yancey said with a honeyed voice.

“You can count on me, Yancey, and I’m glad to have a friend like you.”

The two women smiled, drank apple juice, and enjoyed the music. After a few minutes of Erykah’s silky voice, Yancey asked, “Nicole, will you tell me about the women in
Dreamgirls
?”

“What do you mean?”

“Tell me about the Dreams. Dena, Lorrell, Effie, and my character, Michelle. I mean, you know these characters better than anyone in the cast.”

“I guess you’re right. Let me see. I’ll start with Dena Jones, my character. Dena has stars in her eyes. She knows what she wants and that’s a successful career in show business, kinda like a Diana Ross or Diahann Carroll. But she also knows she’s working with a limited amount of talent. I mean she can’t sing like Effie, doesn’t really have Lorrell’s rhythm of life. But I think she’ll do whatever it takes to make it,” Nicole said.

Yancey listened attentively, not wanting to interrupt Nicole’s flow, but after she paused to take a sip of her juice, Yancey asked, “Is that why she falls in love with Curtis?”

“I don’t think Dena is in love with Curtis. I think she admires his strength and how he, like her, goes for what he wants,” Nicole said.