After the Ending (4 page)

Dani

I can’t breathe
, I thought frantically. I was being
constricted, pressed into something warm and hard and sort of lumpy. And I
wasn’t lying down anymore. And I thought I might die if I didn’t get a drink of
water.

“Go make yourselves busy,” a woman ordered. I didn’t
recognize her voice. “Now!”

The footsteps I heard sounded like a somber stampede. The
front door opened, and after several long seconds, shut quietly.

I still couldn’t breathe. At my pathetic whimper, the
squeezing instantly relented. Suddenly, I was lying back down on the cushy
couch, staring up into a man’s angular, tear-streaked face. With its chiseled
features and eyes like brilliant blue topaz, he could have been an ancient,
grief-stricken warrior.

Jason.

I’m dead,
I
admitted.
Jason never cries. He probably
doesn’t know how to cry.

His eyes widened, showing more whites than usual, before
he scooped me back up and crushed me against his camouflage parka. I sat limply
in his arms as he held me like I was a little girl freshly awake from a
nightmare.

“Jason,” I grunted. “I…can’t…breathe.”

“Sorry.” He loosened his hold just enough to keep me from
suffocating and murmured, “I thought…Dani…You didn’t look alive…”

With the newfound ability to breathe, I imagined sitting
there forever. I was nestled safely in Jason’s arms and listening to him
whisper softly while I remembered what it was like to be alive.
I’m not
dead.

Briefly, I tried to recall how I’d come to be on the
couch, feeling like a decrepit corpse. The memories seemed trapped, guarded by
a fragile sheet of ice. I prodded the mental block gently and recoiled at the
turmoil that immediately burst to life in my chest. Thankfully, the pain faded
as I shoved the memories back under the thin barrier.

After a few minutes, Jason had regained his composure. He
picked me up and carried me into the bathroom with my dog trailing close
behind.

“Thanks. I can take it from here,” a pretty, blonde woman
told him briskly, and I was transferred to her deceptively strong arms. “I’m
Chris.” She smiled, reassuring me like a mother to a sick child, as she set me
carefully on the tile floor. “I’m going to help you wash up,” she explained,
already peeling off my soiled pajamas. “You’ll feel like a new woman when I’m
done with you.”

The ruined clothes were promptly tossed into the
wastebasket beside the toilet, and with equal efficiency, I was deposited into
the steaming bathwater. Only after I was clean did I acknowledge the acrid
stench coming from the wadded-up pajamas in the little garbage can.
My
pajamas.
Oh…that’s disgusting…

Embarrassment washed over me. Jason had touched me—held
me—in those foul clothes. Not only had he smelled everything my body had
expelled during the two days I’d spent passed out on the couch, but he probably
had it all over him.

Sometimes, the smallest, least important thing could
light the fuse leading to the mounds of emotional dynamite piled in my head.
With mortification as the spark, waves of despair and horror exploded in my
chest.
Cam! He’s dead…

Sitting in the bath, I began to cry. Chris let me work
through it, holding my hand as I poured out gallons of grief. She seemed to be
pulling the gut-wrenching feelings out of me, cleansing my heart and mind just
as she was cleansing my body. It felt like I cried for an eternity.

Eventually, sporting fresh pajamas and damp hair, I was
again settled in the living room but on an unfamiliar couch.

“This isn’t my couch,” I said to no one in particular. I
watched Jack as he stared forlornly at the clean kitchen floor. Someone had
swept up the mountain of kibble and locked it away.

“Yes, well, yours was…unsuitable. We swapped it with one
from an apartment down the hall. It’s not like they’ll be needing it anymore,”
Chris explained, setting a glass of orange juice and a generous plate of
breakfasty
goodness on the coffee table in front of me.

I stared at the food but didn’t touch it, even though my
stomach grumbled in need. Cam usually made me breakfast. “What
d’you
mean? Why won’t they need it?”

Chris halted her efforts to arrange a fuzzy blanket
around my legs and looked at me with sharp, sky-blue eyes. Her expression
melted into sympathy before she spoke. “Because they’re dead, hon. Most people
are. I thought you knew.”

“I…,” I tried to speak, but my throat caught after the
first sound. I shook my head.

Satisfied that I was covered and warm, Chris moved to the
other side of the coffee table to sit in a large recliner—another item from the
furniture shopping spree in my neighbor’s apartment.

“It was that damn Virus…we all had it…weeks ago,” Chris
said, gesturing around the room even though it was empty of anyone but us.
“Several days back, everyone in the world seemed to be infected. Now pretty
much everyone’s dead. The rest are like you and me—Survivors. But as far as we
can tell, we’re in the extreme minority.”

“I don’t understand,” I said, confusion creasing my brow.
“This is impossible.”

“Not impossible. Just improbable…and really, really
awful.” She pointed to the plate of eggs and potatoes on the coffee table. “Eat
up, hon. You’ve got to get your strength back before we leave.”

Obediently, I moved the plate to my lap and asked, “Who’s
‘we,’ and where are ‘we’ going?” I took a tentative bite of scrambled eggs and
wondered if it was the best thing I’d ever eaten. Suddenly terrified of being
left behind, I added, “Am I part of ‘we’? And what about Cam?”

Chris opened her mouth to answer just as Jason stepped
out from Callie’s room and into the hallway leading to the living room. He
gestured to the bedroom, “Why don’t you get some rest in there, Johnson? It’s
been a long day.” It wasn’t a question.

Chris hesitated, shooting an anxious glance in my direction.

“Don’t worry about Dani,” he reassured her, “I’ll take
care of her.” A slight smile accompanied the warmth in his voice.

Chris stood and stalked across the living room, pausing when
she reached the beautiful, imposing man. She was surprisingly menacing for such
a pretty, motherly woman.

I busied myself with eating but still paid close
attention.

“Don’t try any of your usual shit with her,” Chris
hissed. “She’s been through hell. I know you’re incapable of resisting a pretty
girl, especially a vulnerable one, but I swear…”

“What? You think you can take me?” he asked frostily.

She glared at him for a long moment before stomping to
the bedroom and slamming the door.

Quietly, I finished the food. I attacked the glass of
orange juice next, alternating between sipping through the neon green straw and
staring at the floating flecks of pulp. Jason took Chris’s seat, and I focused
twice as hard on the juice.

“Dani?” His voice was thick with concern.

With the straw still between my lips, I responded,
“Hmmm?” My heart froze when I glanced up, and the straw fell from my mouth.

Every inch of Jason exuded wary remorse like he’d done
something horrible and was afraid to tell me. Or was about to.

“You’re not taking me with you, are you? You’re just
gonna leave me here,” I accused with surprising steel.

“What? Don’t be ridiculous. Of course I’m taking you with
me.”

I released a relieved breath. “Oh…well I just thought…I
guess I don’t really know what I thought…”
He’s taking me with him! I won’t
be left alone!
“Thanks, Jason.”

“Yeah, of course,” he said. “But the thing is, you need
to know…” He hesitated, searching my eyes across the three-foot distance
between us. “You need to get some rest. You look exhausted.”

I was confused, knowing he’d been about to say something
entirely different. Regardless, I said, “I need to talk to Zoe.”

“The phones went down a little bit ago.”

“I’ll email her,” I countered.

“After you’ve rested.” He sounded like he was used to
being obeyed.

“I’ll do it now.”

“No. Later.”

Impatiently, I set my empty glass on the table and tossed
my arms up in exasperation. “Are you serious? Why are you being such a…”

His eyes narrowed. “Such a…what?”

“Nothing.” I hastily changed tactics. “Please, Jason.
I’ll sleep so much better if I can just let her know that I’m alive.”

“She knows you’re alive. I told her…before the phones
crapped out.”

Closing my eyes, I took a deep, calming breath. “I
am
exhausted. But…I’ll rest better if
I
tell her I’m okay. I can’t explain
it…I just need
to do this. It’ll only take a few minutes—I promise—and
then I’ll behave like a nice, cooperative little patient.”

“Fine,” he said and broke our magnetic stare. “You have
ten minutes. Then you’re resting, even if I have to hold you down.”

I smiled at him, reveling in my victory. I wasn’t going
to let Jason order me around like one of his soldiers.

“Thanks, Jason. And, um, thanks for coming here. I
probably wouldn’t have made it if…you know.” Examining his appearance, I noted
the clean fatigues and missing coat. Hesitantly, I added, “And I’m sorry about
getting you all dirty earlier.” I looked away, embarrassment coloring
everything above my shoulders.

Jason reached across the table and placed his hand under
my chin, turning my face toward him. He held my eyes and murmured, “It doesn’t
matter.”

Date: December 11, 9:30 PM

From: Danielle O’Connor

To: Zoe Cartwright

Subject: To My Savior

I’m alive. Cam isn’t. Jason’s here. You probably saved my life
by sending him to me. I’m feeling better, but I need to rest for about a year.
I’ll fill you in later. I can’t even express how much of a difference it makes
to have your brother here. Thanks, Zo.

Date: December 13, 6:00AM

From: Danielle O’Connor

To: Zoe Cartwright

Subject: Your brother’s really bossy

Zo,

I’m still alive. Sorry it’s taken me a few days to write. I
slept for the past day and a half, literally. I just woke up an hour ago and
had to barter with Jason over access to my computer.
My
computer!
Anyway, here’s what happened...

Two nights ago, I awoke in Jason’s arms. Apparently I’d been
breathing so faintly that he’d thought I was dead. He was crying, Zo. Real
tears! Who knew the guy had it in him? One of his crew members, a woman named
Chris, cleaned me up and fed me. Makes me sound like a baby. Or a dog.

Anyway, your brother brought 12 other people with him from
his base, but I’ve only met Chris so far. I guess the base was on lockdown when
they left, so they had to grab some vehicles and go. They managed to take two
Humvees.

Jason said we’re leaving tomorrow morning. We’ll be heading
down the coast to Bodega Bay to check on your dad and Grams (and some other
people). But, because we’ll be stopping along the way to check on those other
people, it’ll take us a little while to get to BB. I’m not sure what the trip
will be like. Is there gas? Do we use money? How many people are dead? How many
are alive? Is it dangerous? I haven’t had a chance to ask Jason or Chris any of
this; either I’ve been asleep or they’ve been busy.

After BB, we’re heading toward that base in Colorado.
Peterson or something like that. There are a few more stops we have to make
along the way, so I don’t know how long it’ll take to get there either. But, I
know I
will
see you there, Zo. I’ll send you a message with more details
before we leave, assuming the internet still works. Our phones are useless,
both landlines and cells, so don’t even bother trying to reach us that way. We
can’t even Skype…the servers must be down or something.

So, I’m not doing so hot with the Cam thing. The
dreams…crap, Zo. Every time I fall asleep, Cam is there. And he’s always some
grotesque version of dead. I’m getting to the point where I don’t even want to
close my eyes. I miss you like crazy and wish I could sob in your arms every
time I wake from the nightmares. Soon.

Be safe,

Dani

Zoe

We spoke in hushed tones as we packed food for our trip. Sarah
slept in the adjacent room, and we didn’t want to wake her. Dave’s arrival had
brought a sense of relief to the house. I hadn’t seen him for nearly six
months—since our break up—but his presence was unexpectedly reassuring.

From my conversation with Jason a couple of days earlier,
I knew we needed to head west if I ever wanted to see my brother or Dani again.
Knowing they were still alive was enough to re-establish the hope I’d felt so
despondent without. Dave was with me, and we had a plan. Everything seemed to
be working out—except Sarah was still sick, and I tried not to think about what
would happen if she got any worse.

Searching through the cupboards, I thought about the
strangeness of it all.
It’s like I can feel her pain and fear all of a sudden
.

“Zoe?” I started and looked at Dave. My eyes refocused as
I took in Dave’s concerned expression; it was easy enough to read with his
loose curls hiding beneath his backward cap. His hand brushed my shoulder
gently, and I instantly felt a rush of unease.

“Did you hear me?” he asked.

My mind was a muddled mix of emotions—I didn’t understand
what I was feeling. Dave’s eyes were tired and shadowed, and I felt overwhelmed
under his touch.
What the hell’s going on? Where are these feelings coming
from?

He smiled and brushed a strand of hair from my face. “I
asked if you wanted me to pack the stash of chocolate I found in the pantry.
I’m assuming so, unless you’re no longer a chocolate fiend and I didn’t get the
memo.” He flashed a cocky, lopsided grin.

“Oh,” I breathed raggedly, “yeah, of course. Thanks.” The
moment he removed his hand from my skin, I felt lighter.

Bewildered, I exhaled and continued packing. I focused on
the good news—Dani was alive and with Jason, and Dave was driving Sarah and me
to the base in Colorado. I’d see my best friend and brother in a few days…and
hopefully my dad, too.

“Zoe?” I jumped when Dave’s hand touched the small of my
back.
Why is he touching me so much?
I wanted to scream. His fingers
lingered on the thin cotton of my t-shirt, and a sudden sense of apprehension
nagged the back of my mind. Uncertainty washed over me, though I had no idea
where it had come from.

“Did you hear anything I said?”

I stared at him, unsure of the feelings fluttering around
inside me.

“Zoe?” Dave’s brow was furrowed; his confident air
dissipating.

“S-sorry,” I stammered, glancing down at my shaking
hands.
Am I getting sick again?

Dave squeezed my shoulder tightly. “What’s wrong?” Fear
and anxiety pulsed through me, making me dizzy and disoriented.

Sammy, Dave’s chocolate Lab, licked my hand, the contact
shaking me from my confusion. I petted him absentmindedly as I tried to wade
through the intense feelings.

No
.
I refuse to be sick.
“I’m just tired.
What were you saying?”

“Are you sure you’re feeling okay?”

“I’m fine. Like I said, just tired.” Annoyed at his
persistence, I stepped away and eyed him warily. “How about you? Are
you
feeling
okay?”

He rubbed his face and sighed in exhaustion. “Yeah, I’m
feeling better. I was pretty sick there for a while.”

I watched his lethargic movements as he pulled cans of
chili from the cupboard. “You should get some rest, Dave. I can finish packing
up.”

He looked over at me and smirked. “Are you sure?”

“Only if you don’t snore,” I amended playfully.

Dave wandered over to the couch, and I wondered if I’d
ever seen him without Sammy, who was prancing after him. He heaved his body
down and took a deep breath. “This feels so good,” he sighed.

Laughing, I took the blanket from the back of the couch
and spread it over him. Although his forwardness often rubbed me the wrong way,
I
had
missed his quirky charm. My hand grazed his arm, and I felt an
unexpected wave of desire swell inside me. I froze.

Dave caught my hand and peered up through his dark,
blinking lashes. “Want to join me? I’ll make room…” His husky voice and coaxing
gaze warned me of his intentions.

Smiling, I pulled my hand out of his grasp and finished
tucking the blanket around him.

“Maybe in a bit.”
Definitely
not a good idea.

Date: December 13, 11:25 AM

From: Zoe Cartwright

To: Danielle O’Connor

Subject: Headed for Colorado

Hey D,

I’m so glad you’re alive and that Jason’s with you. I don’t
want to even consider what would’ve happened if he hadn’t made it there in
time. He miraculously got through to me on my cell. You were in the bathtub
with Chris (which makes so much more sense now that I know Chris is a
she
).
It sounds like you were in really bad shape. Thank God you’re okay.

Dave’s here—he showed up a few days ago with his dog, Sammy.
I feel better having him here because things are starting to get crazy around
Salem…like really scary. We’ve heard two gunshots in the last 24 hours, and
last night we watched a group of looters running through the street and
lighting things on fire. Obviously there are survivors, but most of them are
just crazy. Other than Dave’s Louisville Slugger and my Maglite, we have no
weapons, so I’m ready to get the hell out of here. I’m wishing Jason would’ve
taught me a thing or two so I’d have some idea how to defend myself, but when
all else fails, go for the groin, right? Let’s hope no one gets close enough to
have to worry about that.

Dave heard a radio broadcast about a colony in Colorado.
They have food and supplies and are encouraging survivors to head that way. I
wonder if it’s the same place we’re going? Anyway, Peterson is a few days’
worth of driving away, so we’ll have to stop once or twice to rest along the
way, but we’ll be there as soon as we can.

Will you make sure Jason keeps me posted on Dad when you get
home? I want to know what you find, no matter how bad it is. Miss you!

Hasta la vista,

Zoe