Alice Brown's Lessons in the Curious Art of Dating (46 page)

‘Ravenous!’ she declared archly, dragging her eyes away from the waiter’s bottom. ‘Still, despite your tardy timekeeping, which I’m going to choose to forgive just this once, I’m pleased to say you’re looking as delicious as ever. Which is just as well, else I’d be straight on the phone to Geraldine to trade you in for a younger model!’

‘Ah, well, seeing as you brought it up,’ John interceded. ‘I hadn’t planned on telling you quite so early but I’ve got some news. You might be phoning Geraldine sooner than you’d thought.’

‘Why?’ Lady Denham straightened her poker-straight posture even further. ‘No, let me guess . . . Business is bad, so Geraldine’s booked you in for a little surgical pick-me-up?’

John laughed and shook his head. Lady Denham guessed again.

‘The furious husband of one of your clients has challenged you to pistols at dawn. This is your last supper!’

‘Nothing as exciting as that, I’m afraid,’ John smiled. ‘I’m retiring. Tonight is my last night as a gentleman escort. And as my favourite client I thought it fitting that you were my swansong.’

‘Oh!’ Lady Denham said hollowly, looking piqued. She took a sip from her champagne cocktail before rallying herself and replying drily, ‘Well, it’s for the best. You’re really rather tiresome and I’ve been racking my brains as to how I could let you down gently. I’ve been hoping Geraldine might find me a replacement with a tighter chin.’

‘I’m sure she’d be only too happy to oblige. In fact, she’s already got a selection of tight-chinned, tight-buttocked substitutes ready for your inspection,’ John teased.

Lady Denham smiled in acquiescence.

‘I’m very grateful to you for having suffered me for so long,’ John added meaningfully.

‘That’s all right, darling!’ Lady Denham sniffed. ‘One likes to do one’s bit.’ She fiddled with her jewellery, suddenly looking lost.

‘So what are you going to do with your life post-escorting?’ she asked abruptly. ‘It’s going to be dull after all our high living at The Privet.’

John smiled.

‘I don’t really know, to tell you the truth. Dedicate myself to my own happy-ever-after, I expect.’

‘Oh, how sweet,’ Lady Denham said drily. ‘Well, I’ll spare you a thought when you’re huddled in front of your television eating some miserable dinner from an aluminium tray and I’m feasting on
foie gras
with my latest toy boy. Although I’m sure you’ll be quite forgotten by the time the season’s out.’

There was a heavy pause.

‘I’ll miss you,’ John said honestly, their playful tone momentarily put aside.

‘I’ll miss you too,’ Lady Denham replied with equal candour. There was a moment of stillness between them. And then she looked away and pretended to survey the restaurant merrily. ‘You little deserter,’ she added cuttingly through her rigid smile.

John looked at her. Humour was both Lady Denham’s greatest ally and her greatest weapon. It had got her through three high-profile divorces. For all her put-downs he knew she’d meant it when she told him she’d miss him. He saw a speck of a tear on her cheek as she pretended to be engrossed in her inspection of her fellow diners. He leant forward, took her face gently in his hand and wiped it away with the tip of his thumb.

‘Just a little splash of champagne,’ he said lightly, and smiled. He would truly miss her. She’d been a loyal client and a rare source of fun. In a funny way she’d been his good friend too.

Wrapped in his goodbye, John didn’t notice a figure rising from her table at the far side of the restaurant. Her glossily lipsticked mouth fell open as she stared at the tender scene before her. She kept her eyes locked on him as she walked past and out of the restaurant door, her unseasonably tanned partner trailing vacantly in her wake.

Lou passed him his pint, took the twenty out of his hand and tried to make their eye contact last as long as possible. He was gorgeous!

‘Take one for yourself.’ He smiled politely.

‘Thanks!’ She threw him her sexiest grin and twirled off to the till, wiggling her hips to show off her bum in her figure-hugging skirt. She sneaked a look back at him, but he’d already turned away and was chatting to his mate.

It was a much busier Tuesday night than usual and she’d been watching him out of the corner of her eye as he’d patiently waited his turn to be served. Tempting as it had been to serve him first, experience had taught her that the longer a fit-looking bloke had to wait, the longer she had to eye him up at close quarters. It wasn’t often men as good-looking as him wandered into her bar. And now that everyone else had been served she could take her time, give him the opportunity to chat her up and look down her shirt.

‘I haven’t seen you in here before,’ she said, making sure her fingers stroked his hand as she gave him his change. ‘I’d remember a face like yours.’

‘I’ve just started a new job,’ he answered, seemingly oblivious to her flirting. ‘Round the corner, on Bateman Street. This is my first time.’

‘First time?’ Lou raised her eyebrow suggestively. ‘Well, now you’ve popped your cherry I hope you’ll come again.’

He laughed in embarrassment.

‘Nice to meet you.’ He semi-raised his pint and turned away.

‘What’s your name?’ Lou called after him.

‘Simon.’

‘I’m Lou. Thanks for the V&T!’

He nodded, smiled and sat down with his friend. He didn’t look back. Lou felt oddly put out.

So, his name was Simon, she thought. And if he’d just started work on Bateman Street the chances were he’d become a regular. She felt strangely pleased with this information. He wasn’t the kind she normally went for. He was a bit straight. And he hadn’t responded to her flirting. Most men she flirted with were mentally undressing her before they’d got their first pint in their hands. By their second they were trying to lure her up to street level and into the side alley. Somehow Simon didn’t seem the type.

Her thoughts were suddenly interrupted by a finger snaking up the inside of her thigh. Tony had silently appeared behind her.

‘You’re looking hot,’ he breathed lecherously into her ear. ‘I think you should come out back; get some air on your skin.’

Lou edged away. He had a nerve! He hadn’t bothered
asking if she was better from her flu, even if she had made it all up.
And
he hadn’t apologized for standing her up the other week,
or
for being crappy on the phone. There was no way he was getting a shag. Besides, she didn’t want Simon to see her being pawed by her boss. She wanted to make sure she looked available. To Simon.

‘I’m busy. Things to do,’ she said crisply, suddenly taking it on herself to clean out the nearest drip tray.

‘I’ve got things to do too,’ Tony persisted, pushing the length of his body against hers. ‘You!’ He rubbed himself against her.

‘Not now.’ Lou stepped away from him again, irritation creeping into her voice. ‘I’m working.’

Tony stepped back in surprise.

‘Since when did that ever stop you?’

Lou noticed his tone. It wasn’t pleasant.

‘Suit yourself,’ he said curtly. ‘Barmaids are two a penny.’

He turned on his heel and headed to the back room where Lou knew he’d be watching her moodily on the monitor, waiting for her to come in and make it up to him. Well, he’d have a long bloody wait. If there was any making up to do she was buggered if it was going to come from her. She continued to busy herself with the drip trays, sneaking glances at Simon.

Simon looked nice. The kind of man Kate was paying good money to meet. A man you could take home to meet your parents and not worry that he’d want to shag you in the conservatory or try it on with your mum. He was the kind of man, Lou thought, that Kate thought Lou could never have.

Thinking about Kate made Lou feel strange. They still hadn’t spoken since their argument. They usually called each other several times a day, sometimes just to tell each other how massively they’d pigged out at lunch. But there was no way Lou was going to apologize first. Besides, some of the things Kate had said still sat awkwardly in her chest, like something heavy she’d eaten and couldn’t quite digest.

She rinsed out the last drip tray, studying Simon through her eyelashes. Kate had made her life sound pathetic. Well, she was going to make Kate eat her words. She was going to show her she was just as capable of bagging a decent man as an indecent one. She wasn’t stuck with the Tonys of this world. She could have any man she wanted, even the squeaky-clean suburbia-seekers that Kate was trying to pin down. That would shut Kate up. She’d show her you didn’t need to join poncey agencies to bag yourself a ‘proper’ man. She’d show her she was wrong to think so badly of her best friend.

Lou was going to have Simon.

Sheryl stood outside The Privet, her whole body buzzing with the scent of scandal.

‘Did you see that?’ she hissed at Brad as he bowled up alongside her.

‘See what, babe?’

‘John Cracknell!’

Brad looked blank.

‘Audrey Cracknell’s husband, you idiot! He was in there.
With another woman!
’

Sheryl peered back into the lobby, looking as though she might march back in for a second helping of gawping.

‘A much better-looking woman than Audrey!’ she added gleefully. Her face broke into a sadistic smile. ‘John Cracknell!’ she declared to the night air. ‘You sly old dog!’

Brad shifted uncomfortably.

‘It’s none of our business, babe.’

‘Don’t be ridiculous! He’s fouling on his own doorstep; it’s everyone’s business!’ She laughed cruelly. ‘Well, well, well. It serves Audrey right, the sanctimonious old cow. She’s forever going on about her “rock-solid” marriage and
fawning over him like a teenager. But I knew something didn’t add up. John never looked right for her; way too good-looking. And now he’s dipping his wick outside the marital love nest. He’s having an affair!’

Brad was eyeing up the nearby taxi rank.

‘Just because he’s having dinner with someone doesn’t mean there’s anything in it,’ he said mildly. ‘Maybe she’s his sister.’

Sheryl snorted contemptuously, strode over to the window and peered in at the diners.

‘I know this woman,’ she said thoughtfully.

‘Babe, maybe we should just get this taxi.’

Sheryl waved him away as though swatting a fly.

‘Where have I seen her before?’ she deliberated aloud. She’d got the bit between her teeth now. Her blood was up.

‘Baby, come on. You promised we’d be home in time to watch that movie.’

‘For God’s sake, Brad,’ she hissed viciously. ‘You go home. I’ve got things to do.’

‘You’re not going back in there?’

‘No,’ she answered unconvincingly. She still hadn’t taken her eyes off John and his companion. ‘I’ve just remembered there’s something I need to do in the office.’

She gave Brad a dismissive kiss on the nose before turning back to her view.

‘Night, darling,’ she muttered distractedly over her shoulder.

She vaguely heard Brad tut and get into a taxi. Not caring
how she might look to anyone passing on the street she stayed rooted at her spot at the window, her predatory breath clouding the pane as she racked her brains as to who the elegant woman in the jewellery could be.