All Better Beautiful (Payton's Heart) (9 page)

"Are you
alone?"
 
he
send quickly

"Yes Dylan I am
alone. I just need time to think about something’s and some choices I need to
make. Please just give me some time alone”

 
I begged

“Okay I will leave
you alone, But not before telling you that I care about you very much. I
haven't been fair to you and I apologize. I was wrong to act like our kiss
meant nothing....It meant so much more than that. I know you have a boyfriend
now and that’s great I just want you to be happy and I want to stop hurting
you"

I read this from Dylan not understanding why he kept
these games going. I was constantly feeling heartbroken and undecided.

I called his phone against my better judgment and he
answered immediately after the first ring. "Hello"

"Dylan I can’t see you because its hurts too much. I
have interrupted your life too much. I made some decisions tonight and I can't
stay at your house anymore. I'm going to call the case worker tomorrow and see
if she can find a place for me to stay until I figure something else out."
He kept trying to talk over me...saying things like no and you can't do that. I
didn't listen I just needed to tell him this as quickly as possible and then
hang up. "Sorry Dylan I have to go" And I ended the call.

I found my way back home or at least my temporary home.
After placing the keys on the counter I found Casey’s room was empty. Carter
was asleep on the couch; I shook him lightly asking if he knew where Casey
was... he grumbled in a sleepy daze, "In mom’s room". So nothing was
broken and everything was quiet. Things must have gone okay with the
conversation. I crawled into bed falling asleep. Soon after I was woken up by a
small click of the door shutting I thought it was Casey coming back to her
room. When I blinked a few times I realized Dylan was sitting down next to me
on the bed reaching out his hand to touch mine. I let him take my hand in his.
I was just entirely too worn out and exhausted from our constant battle of our
hearts. I wasn't going to say anything I'd decided it was time to just give up
the fight. I wasn't going to fight myself or him any longer. He brought his
other hand up and through the shadows of the street lights from outside I could
see he had in his hand a bouquet of flowers. I swallowed hard and then listened
to him speak. His voice sounded trembling as he said, "I hate that I
wasn't the one that gave you your first flower. I couldn't find a store open
this late here in town so I drove to my grandmothers and.... she helped me cut
these for you. I know that it's probably too late Payton, but I have to try. I
have to tell you that I lied; I kissed you because I wanted to. After that
morning I came with my mom to get you, seeing you sitting on that couch wrapped
in the blanket looking so scared and alone something hit me. I tried to fight
it, I tried because your Casey's best friend and because of our age, but I can't
fight it anymore. Every day I see you I just want to hold you so close to me, I
want to protect you and make you feel safe and secure. I don't want anyone to
ever hurt you again; I don't want you to leave Payton. You can't leave, I'm so
sorry that I've hurt you. I don't want to hurt you, I want to love you...because
I do love you Payton. I love you! Please tell me I'm not too late. Tell me you
still care about me, that we have a chance. I'll do anything for you. I'll do
anything to have another chance with you. I was an idiot to push you away. I
don't want to lose you Payton. I love you so much more than I thought possible
and when you said tonight that you were leaving, I felt so empty." He fell
silent. "Say it again!" I needed to hear it...I couldn’t wrap my mind
around what just happened. He loved me he must be insane. He couldn’t love me.
He couldn't. After another moment of silence he leaned forward placing his lips
gently to mine kissing me softly and whispering..."Payton, I love
you...let me love you."

Setting the vase full of flowers onto the nightstand he
brought up his hand to place it on my cheek. I leaned into his hand and let go.
I needed him as close as possible. I needed him to hold me. I needed his kiss,
his touch. I placed my hands on the back of his neck and lightly pulled him
toward me and back onto the bed. He followed me with his body coming down onto
mine and covering my mouth so sweetly with his. I laid there in his arms with
the weight of his body pressing into mine. Our kisses were so gentle and
caring. Bringing his hand up to my face to lightly caress my cheek with his
hand as our tongues rolled together slowly. Between kisses I looked into his
eyes through the light from the street lamps I whispered so lightly, "It’s
not too late". He smiled that melt your heart smile and kissed me again. I
drifted off to sleep in his arms and had never felt like I belonged somewhere
more than I'd felt at that moment. It was so right within his hold; nothing and
no one could hurt me. With Dylan I felt safer than I had ever felt before.

"GROSS...Not in my bed come on guys!" We heard
Casey say from her doorway the next morning as we both sat up quickly. I
laughed looking at her and replied, "We just fell asleep that's all, stop
freaking out. Nothing happened," I turned and looked at Dylan with his
sexy tousled hair as he turned into me and gave me a hug...then he stood up and
walk passed Casey pausing in the doorway to say, "No Casey nothing
happened besides the fact that we made out for a couple hours". Winking at
me then he walked out. Casey’s looked at me with a WHAT THE HELL look on her
face. “I must be in the twilight zone or I'm still sleeping really just pinch
me because I seriously have no idea what is going on!" I pulled her by the
hand down next to me to fill her in on the whole thing between Dylan and I. She
could hardly believe it. She followed up by filling me in on everything that
happened between Karen her and Seth. After we talked for quite some time we
both just look at one another and smiled. "I think we’re
gonna
be okay," I told her right before giving a big
hug and heading off to take a long hot shower.

Dylan was sitting at the kitchen table talking to Karen and
I walked in feeling as if I had interrupted. They both turned to look at me
when I walked in, "I'm sorry I'll leave you two alone". Dylan got up
quickly coming after me..."No Payton don't leave, I was just telling my
mom that uh, well that I finely stop being an ass and admitted that I have
feelings for you". Slightly embarrassed and not knowing what exactly to
say. I just smiled and rocked back onto my heels. He reached out and took both
of my hands into his looking straight at me. "Can we spend the day
together," he asked with very hopeful eyes. Smiling at him "Well I
don't have any other plans so...." He leaned in and kissed me. Feeling my
cheeks heat up as I blushed knowing that he just kissed me in front of Karen.
From behind him she walked up paused next to us and said..."Use your heads
please I already have one child making me a grandma long before my time. The
rules still stand!" and she went to start getting ready for work.

I was getting ready when my cell phone beeped and a text
message came through.

"Hey Pretty Girl' want to go to the movies I miss
your smile, Todd"

Uh....shit. Um, "Sorry I have plans"

I wasn’t sure what to say I needed to let him down easy
and not through text. I needed to tell him about Dylan and me.

"That’s too bad because I was hoping that I could
show you how much I have missed your Pretty face since Tuesday, How about
later?"

Looking down at my text from Todd I heard Dylan say
sounding slightly hurt, "I thought you said you two were just
friends?" I hadn't heard him come in or feel him behind me. I turned into
him quickly to defend myself I stated, "We are, I mean I am....its."
I took a minute to get the words together that I wanted to say and then
continued. "He wanted more and he still does. He knows how I feel about
you but the last thing he heard was that you didn't feel the same so he really
has no way of knowing that things are different now". He looked at me and
replied with, "So what’s keeping you from telling him now?"

I explained that I felt it wasn't probably something I
should tell him over a text. I could tell that he didn't really get that
explanation but pretended to accept it. He wrapped his arms around my waist and
rested his forehead against mine leaning in to lightly kiss me then saying,
"I could get really jealous really quick, but I'm trying not to." I
shook my head lightly saying, “There’s absolutely no reason for you to be
jealous or concerned with Todd or anyone. I gave you my entire heart years ago
even though you just accepted it, and you better not give it back." He
pulled me in so tightly against him, "Not even if you begged its mine
forever!" Then he kissed me, and I melted to him. He ran his hand up my
back bringing it to rest on my neck just below my jawbone taking his thumb and
lightly running it along my cheek. I felt as if I was floating.

After kissing me for a few more minutes he pulled back
looking straight in my eyes completely serious, “You’ll tell him right?"
Smiling, and kissing him once more quickly, "Of course I will."

We decided to go to the movies. He held my hand
throughout the beginning, then after feeling like that wasn't enough he raised
the armrest that separated us. He pulled me into him wrapping his arm around me
securely and nuzzling my neck. I loved being in his arms I'd had dreams about
moments like these. Feeling his lips on mine was such a warm tender feeling.
When I was with him he made me feel so special. After the movie I just wanted
to spend more time with him I didn't care where or what we actually did I just
wanted to be snuggled in his arms. For once in my life I actually felt things
were going perfect. I turned to him placing my hand in the center of his chest
and then looking up about to say something. Before I could he floored me by
saying, "Payton your perfect, Amazing, Beautiful. You’re the strongest
person I know. You have been through so much and hurt for so many years, even
after all that has happened you still light up a room. You have the most
amazing green eyes and the perfect little nose." Kissing the tip of my
noes as he continued,” Your lips are so full and soft" kissing my lips
next," and sweet, I feel like I have missed out on a million kisses from
you. I regret that so much, for being so stubborn". I just stood there
looking at him in awe as he told me more, “I could get completely lost in you.
I 'want to make you happy, I will make you happy. I promise to never hurt you
or allow anyone else to. You deserve happiness Payton. I want to be the guy
that makes you smile and laugh. I want to be that guy that you find you can't
get enough of. I just want to be everything you deserve and more. You make me
want to be better and you make me feel things that I have never felt before.
Being with you is exactly where I want to be and I am so sorry it took me so
long to figure that out." My heart was beating so fast and my eyes full of
tears I choked out, "I love you Dylan". Smiling back at me with his
gorgeous smile..."I love you too, Angel." We went to a little Cafe on
the corner near the theater and he sat next to me instead of across the table.
We talked about his dad and things he remembered. We talked about Maggie and
how I have gotten past the point of hoping she would come back, now it was just
anger for what she left me to live with. Karen was the topic of a long part of
our conversation, how amazingly understanding and loving she was. We were
getting ready to leave when two guys walked in that were friends of Dylan's. I
kind of stood back letting him catch up with them. He reached his hand out and
laced his fingers with mine pulling me closer to him, "This is Payton, my
girlfriend," he introduced me as his girlfriend and I must say the rush of
emotion within me was at that moment difficult to maintain. I knew Dylan meant
a lot to me and was a huge part of my heart but I wasn't prepared for the
feelings I would have within myself if he was to ever return that love. After
talking for a few minutes longer they said their goodbyes and we found our way
to his truck. Once he shut his door I moved over to the center and reached out
to pull his face to mine, kissing him so lightly looking at him I said,
"
I’m happy Dylan…really happy." He leaned into me
kissing with a little more intensity, "Good
because
 
am
happy too" I looked at him
smiling, "You’re worth the wait."

We went back home to find an empty house with a note on
the table from Karen.

Guys,

Dinners in fridge just rewarm. Got called in & will
be stuck

at
hospital until 7 am
tomorrow. If you need me you know how to reach me.

Carter is staying with Aunt Mae.

BE GOOD...Luv you all, Mom

"Casey must be gone with Seth," Dylan said
wrapping his arms around my waist from behind pulling me back to him and kissing
the top of my head. I just let him hold me securely against his chest after a
few minutes I turned around to face him and just looked into his eyes.
"Dylan let’s goes upstairs…to your room.” He nuzzled his nose in my hair
and then we pulled apart but keeping one hand locked with mine he led me to his
room. I stopped in his doorway rethinking for just a quick second what was
running through my mind. Before I could talk myself out of it I turned around
and faced him quickly pulling his head down to mine and started kissing him. I
wasn't thinking about anything just us and that moment. I didn't want to think
I just wanted to feel him against me and I wanted to lose myself in him. My
hands found the bottom of his shirt as I traced my fingers along his waist
before lifting his shirt over his head. He took in a deep breath as my
fingertips stopped at the top of his pants. He broke our kiss to look at me,
“Payton what are we doing". I kissed him again then lifted my own shirt up
over my head. He blew out a breath looking at me and then said, "hey
angel,
lets slow down okay.” Feeling a little hurt I grabbed
my shirt back up off the floor to cover myself. "No Payton, no that's not
what I meant, I just don't
wanna
rush you. I don't
want you to feel pressured to do anything. It’s your first time and I want it
to be special." I just looked at him and thought out loud, ' But it was
you that I waited for. I never felt that there was anyone else I wanted to
share this with. No one else I wanted to spend these moments with. I want to be
with Dylan. I want to share my virginity with you. It’s always been you."
He kissed me so lightly that it almost tickled. "Are you sure, we can
wait?" he whispered. “I’ve waited long enough Dylan...I don’t want to wait
anymore. I'm ready." He reached out taking my shirt from my hands and
dropping it to the floor. He placed his hands on my waist and pulled me back to
him. I reached out to the top of his pant and undid the button sliding down his
zipper. His hands found the top of my jeans doing the same and I smiled under
our kiss. I felt no hesitation I was so ready to share this him. It felt so
right. As my pants fell to the floor and we both stood there kissing so
intensely, his hands ran over my body so lightly. He backed me up to his bed
and lowered me down as he knelt down with me looking into my eyes the entire
time, "You are so beautiful, so perfect. “He brought his mouth down over
mine lightly touching his tongue to mine. He moved down my neck tracing with the
tip of his tongue between kisses. A little moan of pure pleasure escaped me. He
smiled against my neck knowing he was giving my body what it wanted. Almost
unable to speak I said, "Uh...um I don’t have anything..." he pulled
back to look at me puzzled before realizing that I was talking about
protection. “Wow I got wrap up in the moment I didn't think about that...um I
don’t have any. I haven't needed any..." he said shrugging his shoulders.
"Me neither," I said causing both of us to lightly laugh and then he
kissed me again very sexually...which caused me to moan a little louder this
time. "Casey I bet she has some in her dresser." He pulled away and
stood up. Looking me over licking his lower lip ..."I will be right
back." He said holding up his finger for me to stay right where I was.