All I Have Left (25 page)

Josh’s parents lake house was where we spent most of our time growing up. It felt good to be planning to go back there. As if things were finally returning to normal.

“We will but we’ll be there later.” Grayson responded.

Part of me wondered if he wanted to talk more but then my mind began to drift back to our first time again. That damn night was never far from my mind and now more than ever.

The situation was a lot like right now. Alone in his house, him saying we’d come back later, only to never show.

I didn’t make eye contact with him, but when they were finally gone, I turned my head to look at him. It didn’t take me long to realize why we were still here, he picked me up to straddle his lap in the kitchen chair.

“I know we talked the other night, but there’s some things we didn’t say,” he paused, and then leveled me a more serious look. “I know you want to know why I left, especially after we had sex and then I just up and disappeared. I was an asshole. I won’t lie to you. I enlisted in the Army well before our night together. I knew when we did, I was leaving after graduation,” he said, staring at me. His eyes always held some type of emotion. But when the emotion had something to do with me, I really didn’t know what he was thinking. I had no idea what type of emotion they held when they were about me, and it scared me. “You think it meant nothing to me, I know you do. But you’re wrong. It meant something to me.”

I felt his hand run across my cheek and grasp hold of my chin, forcing me to look at him. I still had my eyes closed before I could see what he was about to do. His other hand snaked around my upper back as he pulled me closer, pressing me tightly against him. I opened my eyes as I felt the sudden pull, before I could reject he kissed me with a pent up passion that took me by surprise…surprise because I was feeling the same emotions.

I couldn’t think clearly enough to respond to his actions.

He was about to release me, but kissed him again.

“I love you, Evie.”

I didn’t reply and that seemed to make him a bit anxious and he forced me to look at him eye to eye.

You can close your eyes to everything you don’t want to see. You can cover your ears and not hear the things you don’t want to. You can be blind and to everything, if you want to be.

But you can’t control who you love.

Your heart is the most defenseless part of your body. You can’t make it feel something it doesn’t, and you certainly can’t stop it from feeling.

“I love you, too.” I said softly, wanting him to believe me as I kissed him.

His lips synced with my own perfectly and it wasn’t long after that I felt his tongue rake across my bottom lip. The taste of him ran across my taste buds and I nearly moaned, it took everything in my arsenal of willpower to stop myself from doing so. My reaction to being this close, finally after three long years, was almost more than I could handle both emotionally and physically. Just straddling him had me ready to come and I was still fully clothed. I wouldn’t last two minutes once our clothes were off.

Our kiss started to grow urgent and filled with desire as they always did. I felt his tongue lightly trace my lower lip again and I opened my mouth more for him as he slid his tongue in my mouth once again. He groaned, again, moving his hands to grab my hips, pushing me down on his lap, never breaking the contact between our heated lips.

His hands, still at my hips, started circling the band of my shorts. He strained me closer to him, his breathing coming heavy, judging by the bulge I was sitting on he was obviously feeling the same level of passion that was slowly building in me. I pushed down further grinding my hips into him, searching for friction again, making us both groan remembering the other night. It was heading the same direction it had our first time, all this so very familiar. I thought we’d wait for the lake house but I was okay with this too.

His fingers ran over the button of my shorts.

My breath caught when he got the button undone. Suddenly he froze.

“Evie, maybe we shouldn’t do this,” he said, hesitantly.

“Why not?” I was shocked. I thought we both wanted this. I did…parts of him obviously did, we’re all alone. What’s the problem?

“I just…I think we should…” he sighed moving me off his lap beside him in my own chair. “I don’t want us to rush into this. So much has happened to you. More than you’re telling me about.”

He was right. He was always right.

“Damn you. Stop kissing me then,” I pushed back against his chest.

He laughed and ruffled my hair a little. I sat back in my chair with my arms crossed.

“I’m curious…have you…” he let his voice trail off. I knew exactly what he was asking. “Was there anyone besides Shane?”

“I slept with Chris four months after you left. And then Shane.”

He nodded, but said nothing else.

I started to panic. What would he think of me now?

“Have you?”

He shook his head. “Being where I was, there’s no time for that. I’ve only ever been with you.”

“Even before me?”

“Only you.”

And now I feel like a complete slut.

We sat there for a moment when my cell phone started ringing. After my little temper tantrum the other day I had to hold the receiver in one hand and the headphone in another. I looked at the caller ID, which amazingly still worked.

Grayson laughed at me trying to hold the pieces I now called my cell phone together mumbling something about getting me a new one soon.

“What do you want?”

“Where in the world are you guys?” Frankie riled.

“We are leaving now, be there in thirty minutes.” I hung up before she could say anymore or ask what we were doing.

I turned to Grayson, kissing him on the forehead, running my fingers down his stomach pulling slightly at the band of his shorts. “We will continue this later, but for now we are in trouble if we don’t leave.”

“Lead the way.”

We got there faster than we should with Grayson’s driving. He never did the speed limit anywhere. He drove like he was qualifying for a damn NASCAR race.

When Grayson first got his license, he got a ticket from Reece for going one hundred and twenty miles an hour in a sixty zone. Grayson knew no boundaries and was known for crossing lines just because he thought he could, lines that typically involved the speed limit.

I laughed as his engine roared around the last bend. “Did you get some driving lessons from Jameson the other night?”

Grayson laughed. “Maybe. He’s pretty good.”

“Yeah, it was good to see Aiden too.”

Grayson raised an eyebrow at me. “Is that right?”

“Shut up.”

My first kiss was with Aiden when I was fourteen and he was sixteen. My second was Grayson at the baseball fields. Grayson would never let me live it down that Aiden kissed me first.

When we got there, the driveway was filled with cars so we ended up parking on the road.

Grayson helped me out of the truck only to glance down at my bare legs as he helped me out.

“Why Grayson Wyatt Gomez…are you trying to peek at my goodies?”

He bent down to my ear and chuckled lightly before pausing to say, “You show me yours and I’ll show you mine,” he said suggestively.

I felt my cheeks turn red as I shook my head at him, then the fucker winked.

Cocky asshole, always knows exactly what to say
.

“Don’t do that unless you’re ready to play with fire,” I said, feeling like I had a slight advantage over him, for once.

He smiled, just fucking smiled.

It was hot as hell out even for nearly seven at night. My boobs were sweating like crazy. Had to be at least a hundred degrees and judging by the condensation forming over my entire body, it was probably a hundred percent humidity as well. Alabama was always so hot and humid, almost unbearable by the time summer rolled around. If it wasn’t so beautiful, I’m sure most people would stay away.

“You ready for this?” I asked backing him up against his truck, really just wanting to kiss him again.

“Sure,” Grayson said, kissing my neck. He placed his hand under my chin forcing me to look at him. I leaned into him wrapping my arms around his neck as he pressed his lips to mine once again.

He pulled away sooner than I wanted with a sigh. “We better make our appearance before Frankie kills us,” he pulled me with him, placing his arm around my shoulder.

I smiled at his public display of affection. Personally I wanted to shout it from roof tops everywhere that we were
finally
together. Though we hadn’t said it, it was easy to think that’s what this was. A good part of me thought maybe I wasn’t ready for this after Shane. But a more determined part wanted this. Or more so, needed it.

Frankie noticed us walking down the driveway and danced to our side. Noticing that Grayson’s arm was firmly around my shoulders, he removed it and grabbed my hand in his as we continued to walk toward the house. At this moment in time, the only thing echoing in my brain was that “I was finally at peace…finally home.”

Frankie smiled, knowing what this meant. “OH. MY. GOD!” she intoned. “You kids finally came out of the closet!” she said jumping up and down. “It’s about freaking time!”

Grayson smirked shaking his head as we ignored her and continued walking, getting many smiles and nods from our friends and family when we entered the house. I think everyone knew that at some point we would end up together.

Julia seemed to beaming with excitement. My mom looked as if she was going to burst at any moment. I swear our mothers would have arranged our marriage if they could have.

It was times like this that everything felt like maybe we’d never be apart. It was easy to get lost in this feeling…a feeling of complete serenity where I finally felt safe.

There were so many people there that I hadn’t seen since high school, Courtney being one of them. I’d seen her around town since then but never was never forced to be in the same room with her. And a good part of me wasn’t pleased about her being here.

I was really pissed off when I saw her trying to flirt with Grayson when I returned from the bathroom. Apparently, Shane wasn’t enough she wanted Grayson too.

As I expected him to, he politely excused himself when he saw I was out of the bathroom.
Good boy
.

Sometimes I wanted him to be rude and just say “Get the fuck off me bitch,” but that wasn’t his style, he was a southern raised gentleman whether I liked or not. I respected that about him. There’s no mistaking that Grayson Gomez was from Alabama. He’s just got a down home aura to him from his accent to the slow walk and polite manner.

The night seemed to drag on as everyone questioned Grayson on his time in the military. He was quiet, and politely excused himself when the questions drifted to his time in Iraq. It made me wonder what really happened over there. What exactly was he trying to hide? Or if he was hiding anything at all. He was leaving out details, I knew that much.

Despite that, I had this feeling that was constantly washing over me. It was good to have him back, I felt whole again. I didn’t realize how empty I felt with him gone. Suddenly everything seemed to take on another meaning, everything made sense again.

The questions seemed unyielding for Grayson. Especially from his dad’s partner who was so proud of Grayson joining the military. Mike was a Vietnam vet and thought every American male should serve for their country.

I could see immediately the talk made Grayson uncomfortable.

Just as I was about to suggest that we take a walk I heard Frankie screaming from out on the deck. I walked over to her to see my brother with tears in his eyes down on one knee in front of her holding a ring. My eyes went wide, and then I smiled at them. If there was ever a story book love, it was those two.

“YES, YES, YES!” Frankie screamed as she launched herself into Ethan’s arms.

Grayson looked right then and nodded his head down the hall. I nodded in agreement following him toward the stairs so we could put our bags in our room.

Grayson seemed rather quiet once we got inside the bedroom. He was more nervous than I have ever seen him before which in turn was making me nervous as hell. I felt like my stomach was trying to crawl out of me.