All In (Cedar Mountain University #2) (10 page)

“A girl.”

“That isn’t what I said.”

Etta James has given away to Pearl Jam on the radio, and they’re
the only sound in the car as I try to figure out how I had missed this.

I’m still struggling to figure it out when Jacob pulls off the
interstate. He maneuvers through the light traffic of a little town before
turning down a dirt road that winds around some open fields. We round a corner
and there in the distance I see where we must be going.

“A fair? You’re taking me to a fair. You’re full of surprises,
Jacob.”

He parks next to a beat up pickup truck, turning the car off. “I
figured if you didn’t like the rides, you’d at least like the food.”

“Are you going to win me a stuffed animal from one of those games?”

“Of course. Let’s go see what kind of trouble we can get into.”

“I think there is something wrong with me.”

I curl up on the couch between Delaney and Ally, dropping a plate
of grapes and cheese on the coffee table as I do.

“What are you talking about?” Ally has switched to days at work and
is finally able to join us for our weekly trashy TV night. Which is good,
because I really need some girl time. And girl advice. It’s been over two weeks
since my first date with Jacob, and though opportunity had bloomed numerous
times between then and now, not once had he kissed me.

His lips have come nowhere even remotely close to landing on mine
and I have never been so freaking frustrated in my entire life.

“It’s the only explanation I can come up with. Either there is
something wrong with me, or I’m reading him entirely wrong and he really is
dating me out of pity.”

“I don’t think he’s dating you out of pity.” Ally pops a grape into
her mouth. “He watches you with sexy eyes.”

“What?” Delaney laughs. “What are sexy eyes?”

“You know what they are. Cole watches you with them all the time.”

Shuddering I say, “Okay. No referencing the word sexy and either of
my brothers in the same sentence.”

“Suck it up.” Ally grabs another grape. “Your brothers have sex.”

“I just threw up a little in my mouth.”

“Lots and lots of sex.” Ally adds with a grin. “At least on my end.
Del?”

“Yup.” Delaney agrees, even though she’s blushing. “Lots.”

“I need new friends.”

Laughing, Ally reaches over to grab the remote off the coffee
table. She flicks the TV on, maneuvering through the channels until she finds
the right one.

“I thought you didn’t want to date.”

“What?” I glance over to Delaney.

“Just a couple weeks ago you were telling me you weren’t ready to
date. Yet here you are.”

What am I supposed to say to that? Because she’s right. I hadn’t
wanted to date. I’d only wanted to drool over him. Which I totally still do.
Every damn time I’m with him. But this is definitely dating. Only with the most
frustratingly drawn out anticipation for a first kiss ever.

“I wasn’t planning to. It just sort of happened.” I take a long
drink of the beer in my hand. “And we’re not really dating. I mean, we are, but
we aren’t.”

Ally laughs. “That clears it right up. Just admit you like the guy,
Grace. It’s okay to like someone other than Grant.”

Frowning I say, “It has nothing to do with Grant.” Shit. “Or not
really.” Dammit. “I didn’t think I was ready because when I thought about
dating someone else I felt like I was cheating on Grant.”

Ally arches a brow. “This would be the same Grant who obviously
doesn’t seem to have a problem diving head first into dating practically the
entire female student body.”

“You don’t have to remind me.”

“You do remember that he broke up with you, right?”

“Not likely to forget any time soon.” I finish my beer, even though
it tastes sour in my mouth now.

“So stop trying to psychoanalyze your relationship with Jacob.”

“It isn’t a relationship.” I insert.

Ally doesn’t even hesitate, talking right along like I hadn’t
spoken. “Just enjoy yourself. Nobody’s saying you need to fall madly in love
with the guy and marry him. Just stop beating yourself up over the fact that
you aren’t still pining over Grant every second of the freaking day.”

“I wasn’t pining.” Much.

Delaney snorts next to me. “You could give classes.”

I opened my mouth to respond, then promptly closed it again. I
probably could have given lessons. I’d never once doubted the direction my
relationship with Grant was going. I never once doubted that we were supposed
to be together. The epic love story, much like my parents, that would withstand
the test of time.

Obviously, Grant hadn’t shared that certainty.

But over the last few weeks I hadn’t thought about him as much, and
when I did, the pain that had been all consuming before had lessened.

“Maybe he wants to be sure.”

I glance over to Delaney. “What?”

“Jacob. Maybe he wants to be sure you’ve really moved on. It would
be stupid of him otherwise, right? To get involved with someone who isn’t
ready.”

“Unless he only wants sex.” Ally spoke around a mouthful of grapes.
“But honestly, if that was the case I doubt he would have held off on kissing
you for this long. So maybe Delaney’s on to something.” Ally tucks a long lock
of hair back behind on ear. “You should just kiss him.”

“I’m not that bold.”

Delaney suddenly starts choking next to me. Arching a brow I ask,
“Are you all right there, Del?”

“Yes.” Her voice is hoarse as she coughs once again before she
starts laughing. “Don’t say stuff like that when I’m eating.”

“I don’t see why that is so funny.”

“Seriously? Grace, you are the most straightforward, in your face
person I know. Honestly, I’m surprised you haven’t just kissed him if that’s
what you want.”

Instead of answering, I reach over for the remote, turning the
volume up on the TV. “We’re missing the show.”

I was officially done with the girl advice portion of the
evening.
 
I didn’t want so sit here and
explain the hit my ego had taken with Grant. It wouldn’t come
as
a surprise to either one of them, I’m sure, but that didn’t mean I
wanted to sit here and dissect my newfound insecurities with them.

I’d told Jacob that Grant had broken up with me because I wasn’t
enough. It was the only explanation that I could come up with, given the
reasoning he had presented that night. And if I wasn’t enough for him, what
made me think I would be enough for anyone else?

And the longer Jacob and I…did whatever it is we’re doing, and he
doesn’t make the move to make it anything more than hanging out, I feel the
tiny bit of self-esteem I’d hung on to slipping away.

Which was beyond stupid, but there you go.

The heavy beat of the music is annoying.

As is watching the numerous drunk couples who I assume thought they
were dancing, but in reality looked like they
a
re
having sex on the make shift dance floor.

Frat parties aren’t nearly as fun when you’re single and sober.

Taking a sip of the one measly beer I’m allowing myself, I shift as
someone comes to sit on the couch next to me. Kelsey is once again wandering
around somewhere with Bradley and a couple of her sorority sisters. She’d
introduced me to them, but they had become a blur of blonde hair and blue eyes.
I’d tried to make appropriate noises in all the right places, but I totally
wasn’t in the mood for a party, and I never should have let Kelsey drag me
here.

Here especially.

Because here meant Jacob.

I’d taken a page from Delaney’s book and skipped class today to
avoid him. Something she had done once when trying to avoid Cole. Of course I
hadn’t let her avoid him for long, because I thought avoiding situations was
stupid and pointless. At least, I’d thought so at the time. When it was her and
Cole. Now it was me. And Jacob.
 
And
avoidance didn’t seem entirely stupid.

Just weak.

Which was worse.

Jacob hadn’t done anything wrong, but after the previous night with
Ally and Delaney, I’d needed to put the space between us, even temporarily. For
my own sanity, which was waning. I’d taken the step back to try and determine
if I was really interested in Jacob, or really interested in the fact that he
was the first guy I’d been attracted to since Grant had dumped me and I was
using him to regain my confidence.

I’m sure Delaney was right, that he was waiting to make sure I was
really over Grant. I mean, what moron would deliberately get involved with a
girl who was still totally hung up on the jackass who dumped her to screw other
girls?

What kind of bitch would it make me if I let him get involved when
I wasn’t ready?

But what if I was ready? Or maybe I just needed to take the first
step out of the bubble of hurt I was living in so I could get ready.

To make matters worse, Grant was here. Wandering around the frat
house with some of his friends. Some little blonde girl hanging on his arm. I
wasn’t as bothered by the girl hanging on his arm as I was by the fact that he
had moved on so easily and I seemed stuck in the past.

Being single sucks. Like big time sucks.

Taking another drink of my now incredibly warm and disgusting beer,
I shift further into the couch, crossing one leg over the other to give the
couple who had settled in to practically have sex next to me, more room to
maneuver.

I’m pretty sure in about five minutes or so I was going to get an
education.

“You seem incredibly fond of this couch.” I glance up to find that
Jacob is standing next to me with a smirk on his face. “I’m pretty sure this is
where I found you last time.”

I shift again, my body automatically swaying in the direction where
he stood. The guy was freaking gorgeous. It was somewhat daunting. I’d been
with Grant, who was definitely no slouch in the looks department, but Jacob had
him beat tenfold on an entirely different level.

Grant had been beautiful. Jacob had sexy down to a science. He was
dressed in dark wash jeans with a gray
T
-shirt
pulled taunt across a chest that I knew was seven different types of lickable,
with his brown hair tousled around his head like someone had just had the
pleasure of running their fingers through it.

I wish it’d been me.

He’d forgone shaving once again, and the light stubble that flirted
across his jaw line only added to the overall appeal of the gorgeous male
package standing in front of me.

Yeah, totally in lust with him.

“At least this time you aren’t having to rescue me from the handsy
red head.”

Dammit, he even makes confusion look sexy. How is that humanly
possible? “What red head?”

“The persistent one, who I had totally been contemplating sleeping
with.”

“James?”

“I guess so,” I say with a shrug of one shoulder.

Laughing, Jacob holds a hand out, waiting for me to grab it before
helping me up to my feet. “James isn’t a red head.”

“No?” I could have sworn he had red hair.

“No,” Jacob confirms. “He’s a blond.”

“Huh.”

He reaches his free hand up, the rough pads of his fingers drifting
across my skin just under the thin strap of my tank top along my shoulder. I
shift slightly at the curl of heat that spreads from the skin he touched to
settle in several other fascinating places in my body.

It takes every damn ounce of willpower I have to keep from throwing
myself at him.

His voice whispers across my skin, igniting a similar reaction as
his touch had done. “I like this shirt.”

It was suddenly a favorite of mine, too. The tank top was covered
with a black sweatshirt that hangs loosely off one shoulder, bearing the skin
beneath, and giving a teasing hint of the various butterflies I have tattooed
across my back.

“Am I going to have to share my bed this time as well?”

Flushing at the numerous dirty thoughts that flip through my brain,
I shake my head. “Not because I’m drunk.”

The second the words are out of my mouth, I realize the implication
they represent. He arches one brow, the hand still holding on to mine
tightening briefly before relaxing again showing that he doesn’t miss the
implication either. “Really?”

“Oh, God,” I groan. “Maybe I should get drunk so I have an excuse
for my stupidity.”

Tugging me closer against him, Jacob bends down so I can feel the
heat of his breath against my neck as he whispers, “You’re welcome in my bed
anytime, Pixie.”

I swallow thickly before swiping my tongue across my suddenly dry
lips. “Good to know.

He pulls back. “Would you like another drink? I was heading to get
myself one when I spotted you.”

“Uh, no thanks, I’m all set.”

“Well, walk with me anyway.” He pulls on my hand, leading me
through the maze of bodies toward the kitchen where the keg has been set up in
the corner. He has to drop my hand fill up his cup, and I rub my palm against
the rough fabric of my jeans.

It does nothing to erase the tingling sensation that his skin
against mine had left behind.

Once he has his drink, he leads me over to the far side of the
kitchen. There are a few other people in the small space, once of whom is
obviously drunk and is using exaggerated arm movement to enhance whatever story
it is he’s telling.

Jacob is leaning against the counter next to me, our bodies not
touching at all, but I feel like we are. I swear I can almost feel the brush of
his body against mine, like the feeling has been branded into my skin forever.

“You didn’t mention that you were coming tonight.”

“Kelsey invited me.”

“I would have invited you, if you’d shown up in class today.” He
pauses briefly, and I can feel his gaze sweep over my profile like a physical
touch. I nearly strain the muscles in my neck to keep from looking at him. “Or
if you’d answered any of my texts. Or calls.”

Out of the corner of my eye I see the blur of a red
plastic
cup being lifted up, pausing as he takes a long drink and then
dropping out of sight again.

“Are you avoiding me, Pix?”

Yes, totally. “No.”

“Uh-huh. I don’t believe you.”

“Do you think I’m using you?” Fuck. Fuck! What is my mouth doing?
It’s obviously not connected to my brain or those words never would have
formed.

“What?”

I can hear the genuine surprise in his voice, and when I finally
turn my head to look at him, I can see the confusion clouding those startling
eyes. “Do you think I’m using you? To get over him?” I ask again, because
apparently I can’t keep my mouth shut. “Is that why you haven’t kissed me?”
Jesus. Someone needs to put me out of my misery.

He makes a sound in his throat, his eyes cutting across the room to
the small group of people standing there, who have stopped their own
conversation and are obviously listening intently to every word I’m spouting.
I’m such an idiot.

Such a freaking moron.

Closing my eyes I breathe out, “Never mind. I’m sorry. Forget I
said anything. I think I’m going to go now.”

His fingers close around my elbow before I can move away, and I
hiss at the delectable touch of his skin against mine.

“I don’t think I can forget that.”

“Try harder,” I suggest with a tight smile. I know embarrassment
has made my cheeks pink, and I rub a hand over one to try and wipe away the
stain.

“Oh, no, I think I’m going to have to answer that one.”

I’m eighty percent certain I don’t want to know the answer.
“Seriously, you don’t need to.”

“No, I think I do.” His gaze flicks back to the small group of
people standing near us in the kitchen. “But maybe not here.”

Thankfully, before he can suggest we go anywhere else to dissect my
stupidity, someone is loudly calling his name. His gaze is momentarily torn
from mine, and I take the opportunity to draw in a steadying breath. The air is
sucked right out of me again as I watch Lincoln Montgomery heading our way.

Lincoln is the very epitome of the sexy bad boy that every girl fantasizes
about taming at one point or another in their lives.

Tall, coming in an inch or two above Jacob, with wide shoulders
that stretched the thin material of the shirt he is wearing to the point that
it looks white in certain areas, Lincoln keeps his dark brown hair cropped
close against his head. He has a full sleeve tattoo on one arm, and my cursory
scan of the ink shows various nautical themed art pieces flowing beautifully
from one to the next.

He smells like stale cigarettes, cheap beer, and cedar.

It is a strangely intoxicating mix that enhances the edgy attitude
that rolls off of him in tidal waves.

Girls line up for a chance with Lincoln, and rumor was he shuffled
them through his bed like it was a revolving door. Didn’t seem to bother the
girls who waited for their chance.

Now that I was actually standing this close to him, I could see why
they didn’t hesitate. Mostly though, I wanted to kiss him for interrupting
Jacob and distracting him from what was surely going to be an embarrassing
conversation.

Or at least more embarrassing than it already had been.

“Hey Linc, what’s up?”

There was the universal male hug, handshake, high five or whatever
the hell it is that they do to appear manly while greeting each other.

“Haven’t seen you in a while, man, how’ve you been?”

“Not too bad.”

“Yeah?” Lincoln lazily looks me up and down, interest flaring in
his eyes. “Who’s your friend?”

Oddly, even though I can’t ignore the sexiness that is surrounding
him like a freaking blanket, I’m not even remotely interested in joining the ‘I
slept with Lincoln Montgomery club.’

Interesting.

“Grace Marsh.” I hold out one hand as I introduce myself. Lincoln
stares at it for a moment before smirking and then wrapping it in his own. No
tingles dance their way through my body at the contact.

Isn’t that fascinating?

“Very nice to meet you, Grace Marsh. I’m Lincoln Montgomery.”

“Oh, I know.” I smile. “I didn’t realize you were a member of this
fraternity.”

“He’s not.” Jacob has shifted even closer to me, so now our bodies
are actually touching, instead of just the phantom touching from earlier. I
feel the gentle press of his forearm against the small of my back as the hand
holding his drink comes to settle on the counter next to my hip, effectively
caging me against him.

Is he staking his claim?

I can feel the deep rumble of his words when he says, “I met Linc
the same way I met Robby.”

“Really?” I look at Lincoln again. I could totally see him being
involved in underground fighting. More than I could either Robby or Jacob.
“How…fascinating.” I finally say.

Lincoln laughs. “You know Robby?”

“Apparently not as well as I thought.” I mutter. “He’s friends with
my brother Cole.”

Recognition of Cole’s name burns in Lincolns honey brown eyes. “If
you tell me you know my brother through the same means, I’m seriously going to
flip out.”

“Nope.” Lincoln shakes his head. “I met him at my bar a few months ago.”

“Linc’s family owns the Black Heart just outside of town.” Jacob tells
me. That fits him just as well as the underground fighting did, I think.

I’d seen the bar a few times. It was located on the outskirts of
town, in a seedier area than any of the bars I frequented. The building itself
was gray, with one large black heart painted on the side.