All In (Cedar Mountain University #2) (15 page)

I want to help him, but I’m not sure how.

Thanksgiving is by far my favorite holiday. And not just because
the core of the holiday centers around food. Though that doesn’t hurt. To me,
Thanksgiving is more a time to be surrounded by family, and less concerned with
presents. Not that I don’t love a good present either.

Now that I’m in college, it doesn’t hurt that I get a week off
before I have to start to worry about finals. Of course Delaney had already
started studying, which is equally inspiring and nauseating. Last year during
Thanksgiving she’d shut us out. This year the three days that were going to
bring her to her knees
are
next week, and I don’t think
any of us are really prepared for what’s coming.

I love coming home. It’s like getting wrapped up in a warm blanket
of everything familiar. The house I’d grown up in always smells faintly like
lemon, along with the heady scent of whatever wonderful concoction my mother
had recently baked. Waking up this morning, it was the tantalizing scent of
freshly baked banana nut bread that was wafting through the house.

Sliding from under the covers, I grab a sweatshirt out of my bag,
tossing it on before heading out of the room, and down the stairs. I hear the
radio playing softly, already the sound of Christmas filling the house when
Thanksgiving had barely just begun. My mother adores Christmas music, and is
known to bust it out in the middle of July when the mood strikes her.

Rounding the corner into the kitchen I pull up short at the sight
of her. Studying her, I couldn’t help but think of Donna Reed. She wears a pale
blue dress covered with a white frilly apron that she is currently drying her
hands on. The image is only tarnished by her bare feet, and the haphazard bun
her ink black hair was mostly falling out of. She is humming absently to a jazz
version of
Frosty the Snowman
while
slicing the bread I’d smelled earlier.

“Good morning, Grace.” She greets without even turning around. When
I was younger I’d thought she was magic, to be able to know when I came into
the kitchen behind her without even looking. Now I understood that she saw my
reflection in the window above the sink.

“Morning, Mama.” I shuffle sleepily into the room. “Is there
anything I can do?”

She hands me a plate with a slice of the freshly baked bread,
smiling as she shakes her head. “I’m good for the moment. You can make us both
a cup of hot chocolate though.”

I set the bread on the table before moving over to the Keurig she’d
gotten last year for Christmas. I tuck one of the little cups into the machine
before flipping it closed. She always drank from the coffee mug that Holden had
made her in art class, his sophomore year of high school. It was the ugliest
damn cup ever, but she had used it faithfully since he had given it to her.

After making both our cups of hot chocolate I settle at the small
breakfast table in the corner of the kitchen. She fusses over a few things she
already has going on the stove, adjusting the temperature of the oven in
preparation for whatever it is she’s going to cook next, and then finally comes
and sits with me at the table.

“Well, Gracie Lou, tell me a tale.”

I smile, taking a sip of my steaming hot chocolate. “What would you
like to hear?”

“How are classes?”

“They’re classes.” I say with a shrug of one shoulder. “And
thankfully this semester is almost over.”

“Have you given any thought to your major? Your father and I don’t
want to push, but you’re running out of time to declare since you’re burning
through the core courses.”

“I actually have thought about it.”

“And?”

I pop a piece of bread into my mouth, savoring the taste. I haven’t
spoken my thoughts out loud to anyone, and putting them out there makes it
real. “Public Relations.”

She doesn’t look nearly as surprised as I thought she would. In
fact her eyes crinkle at the corner as she smiles, reaching one hand across the
table to lay it on my arm. “I think that is an excellent choice, Grace.”

I let out a small huff of air. “Really? Because I’m only like
seventy percent sure I’ll be even half way decent.”

Her hand tightens briefly on my arm. “I think you’ll be excellent
at anything you put your mind to, sweetheart.”

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Of course.”

I tap my fingers idly along the table top while I try to come up
with a way to ask what I really want to know.

“Do you think it’s been enough time for me to get over Grant?”

Now I’ve surprised her. Her eyes widen before she leans back in her
chair, taking her ugly mug full of hot chocolate with her.

“Why would you ask that?”

“Because I’ve met someone else.”

“Ah.” She nods her head. “I see.” She’s quiet for a moment, sipping
her hot chocolate while watching me. “Do you think it’s been enough time?”

I can’t help but groan. “Don’t do that, Mama. Please.”

“Grace, I can’t answer that question for you.”

“Mama.” I whine. “That’s not helpful.”

The oven beeps, indicating it’s heated to the appropriate
temperature. She pushes back from the table, moving quickly across the room and
putting our traditional Thanksgiving breakfast casserole into the oven.

Without turning she says, “You were infatuated with Grant Michaels
from the moment you met him.”

“I was in love with him.”

“No, baby. No you weren’t.”

“Are you saying I didn’t love him?”

She doesn’t answer right away. She washes her hands in the sink,
drying them on the white apron again as she turns to lean against the counter.
“That’s not what I’m saying. I think you do love him, Grace. I just don’t think
you were ever
in
love with him. I
love Grant like he’s my own, but he isn’t the one for you, Gracie Lou. He never
was.”

Shocked doesn’t even come close to describe what I’m feeling. I
know my mouth has dropped open as I look at her. Shaking her head she moves across
the kitchen again, sitting right next to me. “You let yourself get lost in the
romance of it all. The little girl crush that you built into love in your mind.
Don’t look at me like that, baby. I know you loved him. I know he hurt you.
Just as I know you’re going to find the right person, the one you’re really
going to fall in love with. It’s going to be beautiful, Grace
.
It’s going to be the most wonderful thing you’ve ever experienced.
And it’s going to hurt like hell. Because love is a bitch. It’s the most
painful thing you’ll ever feel, just as it is without a doubt the most
exhilarating feeling in the world.”

“Why didn’t you ever say anything? If you didn’t think he was right
for me?”

“Because what I say shouldn’t matter. It’s what you feel that’s
important.” She takes another long drink of hot chocolate before saying, “You’ve
always been strong willed, Grace. From the moment you were born you wanted to
forge your own path. Your father and I would tell you the sky was blue and
you’d argue the point every time.” Smiling softly she adds, “You never had a
problem saying exactly what you were feeling or thinking, sometimes to your
detriment or at the expense of others.”

I swallow down my cry of indignation. I know everything she’s
saying is the truth. I’m not always a nice person, I hold grudges for way to
long over the stupidest shit, and more often than not I don’t think about
anyone’s feelings before opening my mouth. Hell, usually I have no idea what
I’m going to say before the words are already coming out and it’s too late to
pull them back.

“When you were little, it was so cute how much you idolized your
brothers. We thought it was the sweetest thing that you would follow them
around, and mimic them. You were sixteen before I realized that you didn’t have
any real friends that were girls and that you spent all of your time with the
boys. You wanted to be as tough as them, and as brash and bold.” She takes
another drink, watching me carefully.

I fiddle with my coffee cup for a moment, twisting it left and
right. “I met someone else.” I say again. She arches one brow in response. “You
have feelings for this new guy, and you’re worried because you don’t think it’s
been long enough since Grant?”

“It’s not just that.” I tell her softly, running one finger around
the rim of my coffee cup and not meeting her gaze. “He’s a nice guy, Mama. Like
a really nice guy. With Grant, I never worried that I wasn’t good enough, but
now? And Jacob makes me feel….” I’m not quite sure how to describe it exactly.
“Jesus, Mama he makes me feel. Things I’ve never felt before and it terrifies
the hell out of me.”

“Did Grant ever terrify you?”

I shake my head. “No. He made me feel safe. And cared for.”

“Both important things.”

“But I was attracted to Grant. We, ah, huh.”

My mother smirks. “Grace, I’m perfectly aware that you and Grant
had sex. Just as I know both of your brothers have as well. None of you are
nearly as clever at hiding things as you think you are.”

I clear my throat, suddenly very uncomfortable with where this
conversation is going. She just pats my arm. “We don’t need to go into details,
but being attracted to him doesn’t change anything, Grace. I’m attracted to
other men all the time, but it doesn’t detract from how much I love your
father.”

My nose wrinkles in response. “Gross, Mama. Let’s change topics. I
can’t discuss sex with you. Or your attraction to dad or anyone else for that
matter.”

“Your Mother is incredibly hot for me.” My dad steps into the
kitchen, heading straight to the banana nut bread. “Can’t keep her hands off of
me.”

“Oh. My. God. Please stop talking. I’m going to have to bleach my
brain to get rid of these images.”

“What images?” Cole stumbles into the room, tugging on Delaney’s
hand to bring her with him. She’s still a little unsure in the family setting.
I’m sure to an outsider we’re a lot to handle.

“You don’t want to know.”

“Apparently Grace doesn’t think your mother and I have a sex life.”

“Oh, God.” I drop my head into my hands. “How did this conversation
go so horribly wrong?”

“It’s not like we don’t know that you have a sex life.” He points
out pleasantly.

“Jesus.” Holden says, coming in alone. Ally is spending the day
with her family and won’t be by until tonight. “Can we make a deal that the
word sex is not to be said by anyone in this house for the rest of the week?”

“Here, here.” I put in quickly. “No more sex talk.”

“As long as we don’t ban actual sex, I think we’re good.” My
d
ad winks, and I swear I throw up just a little in my mouth.

“Can somebody please, for the love of all things holy, come up with
a new topic?”

“Grace has decided on a major.”

Everyone turns to look at me. Suddenly I’m desperate for the damn
sex talk again. Flushing, I say, “It really isn’t that big of a deal. We all
knew I was going to have to pick one eventually, right?”

“Well?” Cole demands. “Don’t leave us in suspense.”

“Grace wants to study Public Relations.”

“That’s great, baby.” Dad kisses the top of my head as he settles
into a chair next to me. “I think that’s perfect for you.”

“I agree.” Delaney says with a timid smile. “I think you’ll be
great, Grace.”

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. I still have to get the actual
degree, and we all know how much I despise school.”

Sneaking into Jacob’s room while he’s sleeping is starting to
become a habit. Setting down the bag of leftovers my mother hadn’t let me leave
without I watch him shift on the bed. The blankets covering him shift right
along with him, and once again I’m treated to the sight of washboard abs and
lean hips along with the hint of something more.

Seriously, who needed coffee to start their day?

I’d much rather have a naked Jacob.

Nothing sounds better than pulling the blanket back and crawling in
next to him. Probably a little presumptuous of me. He hadn’t made a move on me
the night of the charity event when we shared a hotel room. Of course, the
evening hadn’t exactly ended on a happy note. The next morning when we woke up
it was like nothing had ever happened. It was like he hadn’t confided in me,
because there had been no conversation about football, his mother or his
sister, or any conversation that might remotely lead to those topics.
 

We’d slid seamlessly back into the same relationship as before.
Only this time there had been kissing involved. A hell of a lot of kissing.

But nothing beyond kissing.

I’m not sure how to get him to let me in, not all the way in. I’d
had the same problem with Grant. He’d kept things bottled up inside of him and
I hadn’t wanted to push. With Jacob I knew I was going to do everything I could
to get all the way in. Because somewhere along the way that had become the only
place I really wanted to be.

There were just a couple more weeks until winter break, and those
two weeks would be packed with studying, finals, and Delaney.

I still hadn’t quite figured out how I was going to explain my
needing to disappear for three days right before finals. We’d seen each other
every day for the last several weeks, even if for just a short amount of time,
so it was going to be pretty obvious that I wasn’t available.

Luckily for me, that was a worry for another day.

I don’t crawl under the covers with him, as tempting as it is, but
settle down on the bed next to his hip. I tuck a strand of wayward hair behind
my ear, chewing on my lower lip as I watch him for a few moments. Shifting
again in his sleep the blankets are pulled slightly lower across his hips.
Hello beautiful V of muscle.

How many hours does one have to spend in the gym to make that
particular muscle appear?

Whatever the length of time, it was worth it, that’s for damn sure.

Almost of their own accord, my fingers reach out and brush against
the smooth taunt skin of his stomach. They dance lightly over the ridge of
muscle, slipping and sliding over the crevices of skin. This time when his
fingers circle my wrist, I’m not the least bit surprised. I tilt my head back
enough so that my eyes can lock with his.

“Good morning, Jacob.”

A smirk kicks up one side of his mouth, causing his dimple to
flash. “It certainly is,” He tells me, his voice still rough with sleep.
 
I shift, moving enough so I can lean up and
make my mouth level with his, never breaking eye contact with him.

“You’re back early,” He says, his fingers squeezing softly around
my wrist.

“Could be I missed you.” I inch just a little bit closer.
“Possibly.” A little closer. “Maybe.”

“Oh yeah?”

Smiling, I finally move close enough so that my lips touch his. “I
said possibly.”

“Let’s see what we can do to make that a definite.”

I make some sort of sound of agreement low in my throat, but
there’s no chance to form words because his mouth is moving over mine. Quite
honestly, I don’t want to say anything else. His tongue licks along the seam of
my lips, teasing them open so that he can invade my mouth. Words seem like a
waste of time after that.

His hands move up, fingers delving into my hair, as he pulls me
even closer. Sighing, I let myself sink against him. The heat from his body
seeps into my mine, mingling with the flash of heat that is already burning
inside.

Those wonderful hands of his move from my hair, sliding down over
the back of my neck, down my back, and up under the edge of my sweatshirt. He
isn’t touching bare skin; his fingers are hindered by the tank top I had pulled
on that morning. An action I was hugely regretting now.

I want the brush of his fingers against my skin. Flesh against
flesh. I want it more than anything else I can think of. Pulling away from him,
I yank at my sweatshirt, pulling it up and over my head to toss it on the floor
behind me. When I lean back into him, drawing his lips into another hot kiss, I
can’t help the small groan of satisfaction I emit as his fingers finally slide
under the tank, brushing against the small of my back. His lips tilt up into
another smile against mine at the sound.

“I’d say we’re quickly closing in on definitely.”

His mouth moves down along the column of my throat, and I feel my
eyes cross. “Definitely what?” I ask on a gasp of breath. The vibrations his
chuckle makes against my throat sends shockwaves of desire scrambling over
every inch of my skin.

His hands slide up my sides, pulling the thin tank up with him
until the material is bunched under my arms, and my bare chest rubs against
his. Pulling back far enough to provide room I lift my arms up, letting him
finish sliding the material up and off my body.

“You taste as good you smell.”

I blink, “Um, what?”

“Apricots. You always smell like apricots.” His mouth skims down my
neck, over my collarbone, dipping into the pulse at the base of my throat.
“Taste like it to.” He murmurs as his tongue slips out to slick across my skin.

“Jacob.” I gasp out his name as his mouth moves south, slipping and
sliding against my skin as he makes his way towards my breast. One of his hands
comes up my back, tangling in the short length of my hair, and tipping my head
back so that my body arches even more against his. “Please.”

“Please what?”

His lips slide down even further, closing over the tip of my
breast, causing me to gasp again. “Please don’t stop.” I rock my body against
his, wiggling as close to him as possible without actually crawling inside of
him, which I totally would have done had it been possible.

He never moves his mouth off my skin when he shifts us, pulling me
under him before his talented mouth shifts from one breast to the other, and I
wrap my fingers in the messy strands of his hair, holding him in place. His
soft lips shift lower, moving to the underside of my breast, leaving a trail of
scorched skin in their wake. They slip and slide their way down over my
stomach, his tongue sneaking out to lap at my navel.

I move, enough so that my body can cradle his more comfortably, my
knees on either side of his waist.

“You sleep naked.”

He chuckles, “I’m well aware.” Hooking his fingers in the top of my
jeans he tugs them down slightly. When had he gotten them undone? His lips skim
across one hip bone, sending fresh shivers through my body as he pays similar
attention to the other side and I really don’t care when, I’m just really
fucking glad he had.

Wiggling my hips I encourage him to take them the rest of the way
off. Only one thing gives me pause. What underwear had I put on that morning?

Jacob pulls me up just enough to get my jeans the rest the way down
my body and I’m relieved to see the faint edges of lace come into view as he
moves them.

“You should come over naked.” He says, his mouth following the
jeans as they move down my legs. “It would only be fair.”

“I’m sure your fraternity brothers would love that.”

He pauses, tilting his head up enough that I can see the frown on
his face. “You’re right. Bad plan.” His hands settle on my hips, fingers
dipping inside the edges of my lace panties as a grin crosses his face. “New
plan, you can strip the minute you step in my room.” His eyes never leave mine
as he tugs on the lace, slowly pulling them down the same trail my jeans had
taken only moments before. Only when I’m completely naked do his eyes move down
the length of my body. “It’s a new rule.”

“What is?”

“You’re no longer allowed to wear clothes in my room, Pix. It’s a
damn shame to cover this up.” Then his head dips down and his tongue trails
like liquid heat against the inside of one of my thighs and I practically
jackknife off the bed at the rush of pleasure that bubbles through me.

Completely of their own accord my hands move down, tangling in the
short strands of his hair and holding him against me while his mouth moves in
and takes over. He moves that crazy talented tongue from one side to the other
and on a gasp I hear myself call his name, “Jacob.” His tongue dips in, before
flicking out and up over the most sensitive part of my entire body. “Holy fuck,
where did you learn to do that?”

“Do you really want to talk about that right his moment?”

“I, ah
…
” My eyes squeeze shut as another
huff of air escapes my lips. “I want to send whoever taught you that a fucking
thank you card.”

His chuckle resonates through my entire body, starting at the core
and moving up like liquid heat to every square inch of my skin. Pulling my legs
up I dig my heels into the mattress at the same time as my fingers move to
clench against his comforter. If he moves his tongue like that one more time, I
might start floating off the bed entirely.

I feel it building, gathering together like a ball of fire low in
my core, right before it bursts and it feels like fireworks shooting straight
out my body. Tiny pinpricks of pleasure burn all over my skin, and the touch of
his hands brushing along my hips is nearly painful.

Gasping I try desperately to wiggle away from the contact, but he
holds me in place, fingers digging slightly into my skin to keep me right where
he wants me. His tongue swipes over me one more time before he levers himself
up my body, his mouth brushing along various parts of my skin along the way.

When his mouth finally lands on mine and I can taste myself on his
lips I find I’m suddenly standing right on the edge again preparing for a
second round of fireworks to go off. I trail my hands up and over his shoulders
before running them down over his chest.

I pull my mouth away, my eyes locking in on his, and I’m shocked at
what I see there. Terrified really, of what I see there. But more terrified of
the responding emotion I feel sliding around inside of me. Brushing at his
hair, I smile, and tell myself that this isn’t the time to over analyze what’s
happening between us. There will be plenty of time for that later when I don’t
have a very naked Jacob stretched out on top of me.

“You’ve been holding out on me, Jacob Ross.” I murmur, trailing my
hands down his back, and over the incredibly solid muscles of his ass.

“Is that so?”

His voice has gone husky as my fingers move over his skin. The sexy
sound of his voice sparks a feminine power inside of me and I feel like the
most beautiful woman on the plant, listening to the way my touch affects him. I
skim my fingers over his hips, and his eyes close in response as he draws in a
breath.

Using my hands on his hips I urge him on to his back.

“Want to see what I’ve been holding back on?”

Leaning over, I press an open mouth kiss against his chest, tongue
flicking out to lick across his skin. I shimmy down his body, tasting every
inch of skin I pass along my way. I let my eyes flick up to his just seconds
before I close my mouth around him, swirling my tongue around his tip at the
same time I wrap my hand around the base.

“Shit.” He groans the word. “Holy fucking shit.”

I smile around him. Jacob hardly every cusses. So to know that I
was bringing him to that, makes me almost giddy. I make a low sound in my
throat, letting it vibrate around him.

I’ve kept my eyes open, trained on his face, watching his jaw
clench, the skin stretching taunt over the muscle beneath. His head has tipped
back, so I can no longer see his eyes, and I wish for a second for that
connection. He must want the same thing because his head tilts back down, eyes
clashing into mine just before he grasps my shoulders and pulls me up.

“Now.” He mutters. “I need you now.”

He rolls us again, sliding home as he does and I gasp at the feeling
of having him inside of me brings. It’s the most perfect moment in the world.
It’s everything I could have possibly imagined and so much more that I couldn’t
have dreamed of. My imagination simply wasn’t that vast.

The perfect moment is only topped when he moves for the first time,
and the breathy gasp that escapes my lips is followed by a moan of pure
pleasure that would have embarrassed me had I not been so wrapped up in
ecstasy.

His head dips down, one mouth closing over the tip of one breast as
he settles into a rhythm that is designed to drive me wild. A task for which he
is ridiculously skilled. He levers himself up on one hand, letting the other
drift down between
our
bodies to find that
incredibly sensitive part of mine.