All My Life (11 page)

“Butt on the chair, Angel” he mutters under his breath as my aforementioned butt is hovering just six inches above my chair.

Christ! Did he have eyes on the back of his head?
I disregard his instructions and march off to the fridge to grab a can of coke. Then I march right back and plant my bottom back on the chair.

“You know when you mix butt and Angel in the same sentence, it becomes an insult,” I say before I take a big gulp.

With his back to me, he says, “Trust me, I would never dream of insulting your butt. I’m sure it’s way better than anything I’m cooking out here.”

Pfffffff!!!!! The soda comes spewing out of my mouth and all over the kitchen table.
Chirst! Did he just say that?!
 Then I watch gobsmacked as he saunters over and throws the kitchen towel on the table, giving it a quick wipe. I give him a stink-eye as he walks back looking very smug and pleased with himself.

Mom walks in half an hour later, just as Neil is putting down the last bowl on the table.

As soon as I open the door, she starts apologizing, “Honey, I’m so sorry. So, so, so sorry. The traffic today is not to be believed.” I forgive her immediately but then she lowers her voice and whispers loudly, “Is HE here?”

I roll my eyes as I help her with her bag and the usual overflowing pile of folders. I go to her room and put it all on her table. When I walk back into the kitchen, I find Mom laughing and hugging Neil with her arms wrapped tight around his torso.
WTF?!!!

The scene is so totally unexpected that for a few seconds I just stand there with my mouth open. Then I try to process it. But I realize it still doesn’t make any sense. Mom looks delusional with happiness while Neil is looking…uncomfortable? I repeat…WTF?!

“Mom?!!” I say warily and Neil finally notices me. Well, hello to you too. He gives me a shy smile and then gives an awkward pat on my Mom’s back. Like she’s a pet or something! Down girl!

“Mom!” I exclaim louder and this time she hears me. She opens her eyes and shrieks from across the room, “Honey!! You never told me!!” she says but
still
doesn’t let go of Neil.

“MOM!!!” I raise my eyebrows till they hit the roof and she finally gets it. She drops her arms and backs away from Neil but just by a reluctant
few inches
!
Jeez! What’s the matter with her?!

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” she says, batting her lashes and blushing crimson. “I guess I got a little carried away.”

“It’s okay, Ma’am,” Neil smiles obligingly at her and then gives me a worried look. Okay. Seriously, what in God’s name is happening here?!

“Kari, you should’ve told me Neil Mars was coming for dinner to our place tonight!” She says Neil Mars like it’s a saleable entity or something. “I would’ve certainly planned better for this evening…” Mom stops abruptly and looks around the kitchen like she’s seeing it for the first time. “This looks like a pigsty!”

Then her eyes fall on the table and on the apron tied around Neil’s waist. “Oh my God, you’ve been cooking?!” Mom turns to fix a glowering gaze on me. “Kari! Why did you make him
cook?
!” she shrieks like I’m some kind of a slave driver. “He’s our guest!” Then she turns back to him and starts wringing her hands like a crazed person. “I’m so sorry, Neil…Oh! This is horrible. Why don’t you sit down? I’ll just go freshen up and be right back.” Then this woman who’s no longer related to me, hurries out of the kitchen before whispering
loudly
in my ear, “
Entertain him
!”

I stand there in the kitchen in total silence wondering how my Mom expected me to entertain
my own boyfriend
in the bloody
kitchen
! A lap dance before the meal or after?

I look across at Neil. “Did you smell something on her? Smoke, alcohol…weed?”

He smiles and shakes his head.
Christ! This situation is unrecoverable.

“Kari, I think I should tell you…” he trails off as my Mom re-enters the arena dressed to tame the lion…or the gladiator himself.

In what could’ve been just two minutes she’s managed to ditch her work clothes and put on her favorite black wrap dress. Wow! She is really putting her best foot forward here. I’ve never seen Mom get this excited over a guy since Dad left. It would’ve made me happy except this guy happened to be
my
freaking boyfriend
!!

I realize Neil is holding out a chair for me. I also realize that Mom has already occupied hers and is busy surveying all the food.

Neil’s fingers brush my cheek softly as he sits down next to me. Mom doesn’t miss the action and I see a satisfied smile cover her face. I just don’t get this. What’s the deal with her? Why has she gone all crazy on me…and today out of all the days?! Why God?! Why?!

“So how did you two meet?” she asks as we begin attacking the food.

Fork half-way to my mouth, I pause and look at her, “Mom? Neil? Agnas’s son? Tattoo shop? I work there?” Ever the eloquent. That’s me.

Understanding clears her face and she nods, “Oh! I forgot! Of course.” She looks at Neil happily, “We’ve met before! You were wearing that mask that day so I didn’t recognize you!”

I scrunch my face. “Recognize him from where?”
 

Mom looks at me like I’ve gutted my brain. “You mean you don’t…” Then she shakes her head and laughs like the weird eccentric hag she’s playing out to be today. “Of course you know who he is!! How could you not?!!”

What?!
I go completely still and snap my eyes across at Neil. Our eyes collide and I notice his are filled with apprehension. When I turn back to Mom, her face scrunches in disbelief.

“He’s Neil Mars!” she exclaims, waving her fork at him.

Oh, yeah, Neil Mars! That really explains it. When I raise my eyebrows, she looks at me like she can’t believe I’m her flesh and blood.

“Neil Mars?! Chicago Bears? Pro bowl quarterback?! Have you been walking around with a tin foil on your head?!!”

I feel my hands and legs go limp. Pro bowl? Chicago Bears? God! That’s big. No. Not big. That’s
huge
! So he…he’s some kind of a football star?!
Jesus!
How come I didn’t know about this? Am I that out of touch with real life?! Well, it could be attributed to my zero interest in any form of physical activity. It could also be attributed to my having shun papers or TV for the last year. Instead, I’d spent that time obsessing over the internet, checking for any recent video uploads bearing my name.

Then the past few days flash before my eyes. Our first meeting and…Nalini…she’d been awed by him. And then she’d said something about him being famous and I’d thought it was a jibe! She hadn’t been mocking him! She’d just been voicing a fact! But the party?! Oh. He’d been wearing the Batman mask. Then I remember the nudges and looks of admiration that had been thrown our way when we’d gone for lunch that first day. It isn’t just because he’s sexy-as-hell. It’s because he’s a sexy-as-hell
freaking football star
! Ohmygawd! Breathe, Kari. In and out.

I look up. Neil smiles at me warily, like he expects me to bolt any second.

“But you’d said you were planning on opening a dance studio?!” I ask.

Mom cackles. Like, actually
cackles
. “Dance?! Studio?! A dance studio?” she repeats like it’s some sort of a weird-ass terminology that’s causing short-circuits through her brain.

I see red. “Yes! A dance studio! Why? What’s so funny about it, Mom? Haven’t you heard of that famous hotdamn Russian dancer who…who…who came on the Sex and the City?” I snap at her.

Mom’s face turns white and instead of answering me, she turns to Neil. “You’re opening a
ballet
studio?!”

Neil shrugs his shoulders. “I’m more into alternative dance but I like ballet too.” Mom looks stricken while I give Neil a look that says,
good for you little Billy Elliot!

Then he looks at me, “And I really look up to that
hotdamn
Russian dancer. Michael Baryshnikov.” And right then I feel so proud. He knows that guy’s name! I feel like jumping up from my chair and shouting, ‘That’s my boyfriend, right there!!’

“But that’ll be like a side thing, right?” Mom insists. “You’re not thinking of giving up football or anything?” I suck in a breath. Oh no! I hadn’t thought of it like that! That’s why Neil had talked about going back to Chicago to open his studio. That’s just his side gig. His real glory is football. And why would he want to give that up? Nobody should have to give that up!

“Yes, I’ve taken my name off the team. It’s yet to be announced. My Mom needs me here and…” His eyes cut straight to mine. “…studios can open up anywhere I want to be.”

I shake my head at him but don’t say anything. He cannot give up what he is just to be with someone. That’s just not how it works. You sacrifice too much for someone you end up hating them. I know. I’ve seen my Mom go through it.

Although you really wouldn’t know that from the way she’s been acting tonight. She does tone down her exuberance for the rest of the dinner, but that doesn’t stop her from shoving her phone in his face every few seconds, just to take pictures of him eating, smiling, coughing, looking uncomfortable until I finally, put my foot down and confiscate her torture device.

After dinner, I have to literally restrain my Mom from throwing random objects at him just so she can get his autograph on them. Now I’m standing on the doorway expecting her to give us a little privacy but considering that Neil just became her most favorite person in the whole wide world (which she professed herself, loudly and unflinchingly) because he gave her his wristband, she’s not likely to snap out of her fan-deliria any time soon.

When Neil thanks my Mom for the dinner and hugs her, I actually get a little worried because her face turns so red, she almost looks feverish. But I guess there’s no need to worry. Her ruddy cheeks are probably just chafing under the onslaught of a furious blush and the nasty bite of a New York November night.

Neil asks her if he can talk to me alone and for the first time that night my Mom pauses for a few seconds and looks at him like he’s a real person. Not a walking cardboard cut-out of her favorite football star but a real person who wonder of wonders…is actually interested in the fruit of her loins. Mom nods her head just a bit too eagerly and I can almost see the cog wheels spinning in her head. Future son-in-law. Brag rights for a life time. Score!

She gives me a wink and as she leaves, she shuts the front door behind her.
Christ!
A wink from my Mom is never a good thing. And shutting the door is like giving me permission to throw myself at him! A ‘you can have your way with my daughter’ kind of gesture. Wow. I look at Neil. He’s standing there with that cautious look in his eyes again.
Oh God!
Is he really a football star?!! What am I supposed to do now?

I guess…
nothing
?!

He’s still the boy who bought a BLT for me, who punched Eddie in the face, who knows everything about my past and still doesn’t give a damn about it. And knowing who he is makes that a bigger deal than it already is. He’s a sports star and if that video ever went public, it could blotch his image. And yet he wants to be linked with me. Me. The one with the sex video and a seriously psychotic mother.

I smile at him. “A football champ, huh?”

His eyes widen and then he grins. “Yeah…you into jocks?”

I step close to him and hook my fingers through the loops of his jeans. “Am now.”

He bends his head over mine. “Didn’t scare you off?”

“Not going anywhere,” I assure him but then I pull away and say forcefully, “But you are.” Neil quirks up an eyebrow in confusion.

“You cannot give up football just to be here! I know Agnas needs you and I would give anything to be close to you but you just can’t make that big a sacrifice!”

“It’s not a sacrifice,” he says simply and shrugs his shoulders. “I’m through with football.”

“You’re through with football?!” I ask incredulously and he nods his head. I squint my eyes at him, “How old are you?”

“Twenty three.”

I shake my head in disbelief. “As you must know by now, I’m not exactly tuned into the current football scene…but…I’ve seen people twice your age play successfully. You can’t quit at twenty three!”

He gives me a patient smile as his arm snakes around my waist and pulls me towards him. “It’s not about my age,” he says softly. “It just doesn’t move me anymore and I want to be here with Agnas…with you.”

I look into his eyes. They only reflect the sincerity of his words. But I’m still not convinced. “Why doesn’t it move you anymore?”

“I got pushed into football in school because I thought it was the best and fastest way to make money at that time. God knows, Agnas and I needed all the money we could get. I couldn’t even have afforded college if it hadn’t been for my scholarship. But now I just don’t want to do it anymore. It’s not my calling…you know what I mean?”

“But aren’t you going to miss it? The fame? The money?”

He smiles. “Those are just things one misses when one hasn’t had a taste of them. Trust me…there’s not much to lose there. Imagine your Mom fawning over you like that every single second you’re with her. Now imagine that being multiplied by a million.”

“Ugh.”

“Yup. And the money? I don’t want to sound like a whiny rich jerk but what good is it when you have to stay cooped up in places where real people don’t exist? Where everything flashes in your eyes like a disco orb? Where your team mates are itching to back-stab you every time you relax your guard a little?”

I scrunch my face at him. “Your life sucks!”

He laughs and then quiets down. “Not anymore.” My heart swells and feels like it’s about to burst out of my body and soar in the air. I drag my hands up his back, across the hard ridge of his shoulders, up his thick neck and into his soft, curly hair. It’s only when he pulls back that I see his face. It’s lit up with that same carefree happiness that just breaks my heart every single time I witness it. I touch my forehead to his and hold his face in my hands wishing in my heart that I could freeze this moment forever.

“Will you come with me this Sunday night?” he says after some time.