All of Me (All Series Book 2) (23 page)

Sophia sighed. “I shouldn’t be surprised, but I’m disappointed that you slept with her again.”

“Sorry,” he said. There wasn’t anything else left to say. “It only happened a few times. I wasn’t seeing anyone and one thing led to another. Actually, she turned it up a few degrees, came on to me hard. I had pushed her away a few times, but she knew what to say and what to do. Again, I’m embarrassed and ashamed to say it. I kept telling myself she knew the score. I wasn’t lying when I told her I wasn’t looking for a relationship with her. She seemed to accept that. Or so I thought.”

He stood up and paced around the living room. “She asked me to stop by her office for something one day. She said it was important but didn’t say what. I was sick of the games and didn’t have the patience to play them, so I stopped like she asked when she refused to tell me what it was about. When I got there it was some stupid reason. It was mainly to put a front on to her coworkers that we were still together. I left the building in a mood and it was obvious to everyone I wasn’t happy.”

“I can see you being ticked off over that. Especially after you said she seemed to accept that you didn’t have a relationship.”

“Ticked is a mild word. But when I was leaving, one her coworkers, someone I knew she was friends with, ran out and stopped me. I don’t know what possessed her to say it, but she confessed what Linda had done. It seemed Linda had too much to drink one night and told her friend all about the pregnancy and how she lied. Her friend told me that she always liked me and hated that Linda did that. And was upset that she was friends with someone like that. She felt the need to make it right.”

“I’m sure Linda denied it.”

“She did. That night, we had an all-out war. She finally broke down and said she did it for me.”

“She lied about being pregnant for you?”

“You can imagine that didn’t go over too well. She had backed herself into a corner and then said it was because my parents had been pressuring me for grandchildren and I was the only one in a relationship. She was doing it for them, too. She knew how much they wanted a grandchild.”

Sophia’s eyes went wide. “Okay, now I know why no one knows what happened. Your parents would be devastated to know that they might have innocently played a part in what happened to you.”

“They would. And I don’t want them to ever find out.”

“I won’t say a word, Phil. You know that.”

“So now you know. Do you believe what I’m saying? Or do you believe what she said?”

Wait For You

Sophia didn’t know what to say. She had calmly sat through his explanation. She’d seen the embarrassment, the hurt and frustration over what he’d said. She never believed—or liked—Linda before and shouldn’t have been surprised to learn what she was capable of.

She thought back on the last few months with Phil. The few encounters they’d had with Linda, and Phil’s behavior in the situations.

The first time at the Chamber Dinner, when Linda came to their table and how Phil was curt and to the point, then ushered Linda away. He was more concerned with Sophia’s reaction to it all, and hoping not to cause a scene.

The next time was when Linda saw them together at the bar. Phil told her again it was over and he’d moved on. That Linda knew why they were over and there would never be a chance of them getting back together. That night, Sophia began to think whatever had happened had to have been serious, as Phil’s eyes were colder than she’d ever known they could be.

But that last time, when Linda’s brother accused Phil of leading Linda on, he had snapped. So unlike him. She realized that all along it had to have been something no one could imagine might have happened.

On top of that, there still weren’t even whispers of the gossip that would normally come about from a woman scorned. She knew; she had seen it enough growing up. Whoever was the unlucky partner that was on the receiving end of a breakup with her parents would always trash the other party for months on end. They couldn’t wait to tell the world what a victim they had been.

Yet, Linda had never said anything negative about the breakup. Probably because she knew it would ruin her chances of getting Phil back. It was obvious now. When Linda realized Phil had moved on with Sophia, that was when she started to play dirty. That was when she started to play the victim.

“I never truly believed what she was saying. But I didn’t know your side of it either.”

“And now that you know it?” he asked, looking hopeful.

“I need time, Phil.”

“For what?”

“To absorb this.” She held her hand up when he went to interrupt. “I believe what you are saying. But you have to understand. What you went through with her—that is what I grew up with. Pieces of it: the drama, the fighting, the lying and scheming. My parents were part of it themselves, or victims of it. Either way, it was in my life. A life I couldn’t wait to get away from.”

“I know. Another reason I didn’t want to say anything.”

“But that doesn’t make it right.” She looked around the room and gathered her thoughts. “You asked me what I wanted out of a relationship once. I’ve told you bits and pieces along the way. I’ll be honest with you. I want what your parents have. I didn’t know it existed before I met them. I didn’t know people could marry and stay married for that long and still love each other through it all. The good and the bad. Once I saw that, that was what I knew I always wanted.”

“I want that too,” he said earnestly.

“I don’t want to make the same mistakes my parents did. I’ve been accused of not being able to make a commitment like you. I’m not afraid to make one. I just want to make it with the right person.”

She paused and gathered herself some more. “When I get married, I want it to last. I know there are going to be ups and downs. Fighting and crying, it’s part of life. But I want someone who isn’t afraid to tell me things. I don’t want someone who holds things back because he is afraid of what other people might think or do. If you truly love someone then you still say it and work through it. You don’t give up and you don’t hide things.”

She watched as his eyes filled up. “So I’m not the one?”

“You
are
the one. And that is what’s scary. It means that I held out for someone hoping to find all those qualities, and I thought I did. And it ends up that you aren’t as perfect as I’d hoped for,” she said sadly.

“No one is perfect, Sophia.”

“I
know
that. So now I have to decide if I can live with this. I’ve had expectations of what I wanted out of a relationship and out of the person I wanted to be with. And now that I find that person, I find there are parts of him that my parents went though or are still going through. So I have to ask myself if that means my judgment is off, or if I’m not meant to have what your parents have. Or am I destined to be like my parents.”

“We are meant to have what my parents have. Because we both want the same thing. That’s part of it, don’t you see? Working together, working through things. Not throwing in the towel when things get tough. I’m not going to push you because I don’t want to push you away.” He walked over and gave her a kiss on the cheek. “I’ll wait for you. I’ve done it once before. I can do it again.”

Then he walked out the door.

***

Sophia sat there watching the door close. The minute she saw his truck pull out of her driveway she burst into tears. Completely distraught, angry and frustrated with herself.

She had held it together as long as she could. She pulled within herself like she did as a child when faced with all the drama. But the minute she was alone, she cried it all out. Purged those feelings from her system.

When she saw the tears in Phil’s eyes, she had all she could do not to break down herself and rush over and hold him tight. But she didn’t trust herself. She needed this time. Time to figure it out.

Her anger and frustration came from finding out that no matter how hard she had tried, she still ended up falling for someone who had lived the drama her parents had gone through. She never wanted any part of that in her life. Or the baggage that came along with it.

Part of the reason she was so well adjusted was because she knew how to lock everything up within herself like she did tonight. Oh, she let it out—just never around anyone. Though she had let more out around Phil than anyone else. Even Kaitlin.

She didn’t understand how she fell for him. How she missed all the signs or characteristics of what she had been trying to avoid.

Of course she hadn’t known what really happened with Linda. And she started to realize that even if she had, it wouldn’t have mattered in the least. She still would have fallen for him.

There was no use pretending. She already admitted she was half in love with him for years, only she never let on. She wasn’t the type to steal another woman’s man. Again, that would have been something her mother might do. She was as far removed from that as possible.

But yet, she still fell in love with someone who was weak like her parents.

She cringed when that thought briefly crossed her mind. No, that was
harsh
.

There was nothing weak about Phil. What he did was a result of guilt. A person who never wanted to hurt someone else. Who always tried to do the right thing for other people, often pushing his own feelings aside.

He was right when he said he was raised better. He did what he thought was the right thing to do. But when he got in over his head, he still tried to take the nice guy way out of it.

Only it didn’t work for him. Maybe now she could understand better why her parents’ breakups were so ugly. Maybe they
had
to be to make that final cut. Taking the nice way out didn’t work for Phil. Her parents had been through it plenty—they obviously knew the rules.

Thinking back now, maybe she was being harsh on her parents, too. They both seemed pretty happy in their lives now. And they had always put her first. Even if it wasn’t the right way, they still loved her. She knew that. It was never in doubt.

And weren’t both of her parents talking now? Hadn’t her mother called her father and told him about Phil? Didn’t they come together again for her? Maybe love wasn’t about always being able to live with that person, but rather being able to know they are there when you need them the most.

Maybe she was the stupid one all along. Trying to put herself and Phil on a pedestal that
no
one
could live up to.

He was right. Nobody was perfect and she had to stop looking for that. He loved all of her. She knew it, she saw it, and he made no secret of it. And she loved all of him.

Even finding out everything tonight didn’t stop the love she felt for him. She
was
the idiot after all.

Standing up, she rushed forward and grabbed her keys and purse, then made a mad dash out of the door. It hadn’t even been thirty minutes since he left her house, but she had to see him.

A short time later, pulling up his driveway, she saw the garage door closed. She shut the car off and ran around back and up the deck stairs where she saw him sitting there, eyes red, visible tears on his cheeks.

He stood up fast and wiped his face. “Sophia.”

She ran forward. “I couldn’t make you wait for me any longer.”

He hugged her tight, leaned back and kissed her. “I would have waited as long as you needed. But I’m glad it was”—he stopped and looked at his watch, then gave her a sweet smile—“less than an hour.”

“I love you, Phil. I’m sorry for everything tonight. I’m sorry that what I said hurt you.”

“That’s what love is about. Sometimes you say things that hurt the other person, even when you don’t mean to.”

“I’m not perfect. I’m going to make mistakes, and I’m going to mess things up. But I would like to think I’m perfect for you,” she said with a watery smile. She realized that she had to look like a mess right now. She hadn’t stopped crying since Phil walked out of her house and she was pretty sure her nose was running right now, but she was too embarrassed to lift her arm and check.

“You
are
perfect for me,” he said, laughing. “Even when you’re crying, you’re beautiful to me—runny nose and all.” He lifted his shirt and wiped her face off for her. “But it’s not your beauty I love. That’s only part of you. It’s you that I love. Everything about you. Your smile, your laugh, your humor, your compassion, and your very soul. What I love the most is how you make me feel. And how you love me right back.”

“Whoever said you were the quiet one didn’t know you as well as I do. I couldn’t have said that any better.”

Epilogue

“How long is your meeting today?” Phil asked when they checked into their hotel room in Manhattan.

“Not long. I should be done by four at the latest. I’m glad you were able to come with me though. I have to travel to the city every few months to meet with the other partners.”

“Alec isn’t very happy with me taking off for a day, but now that Brynn has been there a few weeks, she can cover for me. I brought my laptop, so I can get some work done,” he explained.

When she said she needed to take a trip to her corporate headquarters, he didn’t hesitate to offer to go along with her.

The timing was right in his eyes. It had only been two weeks since he told her everything. She stayed that night. Then every night after that they had been together, whether it was her place or his. He wasn’t about to give up one night. Not even for her job.

“I feel bad that you will be by yourself while I’m at work,” she explained.

“Don’t be. It’s only a few hours. I’ll be busy.”

She looked at her watch. They had finished an early lunch. “I’ll be back by four thirty at the latest.”

“I’ll be here.”

The minute she was out of the door, he picked up his phone and made a call to Kaitlin.

At five o’clock, they were in a taxi on their way to dinner. “Why are we stopping here?”

“Because I asked the taxi driver to stop here,” he said, smiling and helping her out of the cab. “He’ll wait for us. We won’t be long.”

“But we’re in front of my old apartment,” she stated.

“Yes, we are.” He grabbed her hand and led her inside, past the doorman who remembered her and said hi. He’d already made arrangements.

“Where are we going? We can’t go to my old place because they rented it out,” she said.

“We aren’t going to your old place, or Kaitlin’s. And don’t worry, I got permission. We are just going to the hallway.”

“What?” she said, awareness starting to fill her eyes.

“Stop talking,” he ordered her lightly. They stepped off the elevator and he ushered her to the hallway between her old place and Kaitlin’s.

She laughed. “Now what?”

“Now I do what I wanted to do back then.” He yanked her forward and kissed her hard, not giving her a chance to breathe. Her arms wound around his neck, and she was clinging to him. Just like he had envisioned all those years ago.

“Wow, if you had kissed me like that back then, I might have broken all my rules and pursued you.”

He chuckled. “I think everything turned out right in the end. Don’t you?”

“I do.”

“Exactly the words I wanted to hear.”

“What?” she shrieked.

“I’ve waited long enough. Will you marry me?”

“Yes,” she said, jumping up and kissing him on the lips again.

“Now let’s go pick out your ring.”

“You didn’t pick it out for me?” she said, tears in her eyes, a bright smile on her face.

“Are you kidding me? That ring is forever. I want you to get exactly what you want, and the only way for that to happen is for us to do it together.”

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