All of You (6 page)

Because for some reason he was triggering something in her she couldn’t explain, stop, or control.

And that was beyond unacceptable all the way around.

*

Nathan pulled the
cruiser out of the station parking lot onto Wagner Avenue and cleared his throat. “So, uh, Stella wants me to talk to you. About some…stuff. So let’s get it over with now.”

Danny squeezed the back of his neck and leaned his head left, then right. He stared unseeingly out the cruiser passenger-side window. “I already know what you’re gonna say, so we can skip the lecture. Tell Stella you talked to me and that I promised to shape up.”

“Stella’s not the only one worried about you, Mac. That shit you pulled last night? Passing out in an alley with your service weapon?” Nathan glanced over. “Not only was it dangerous and irresponsible, but, if something had happened, you would’ve been suspended from the force. Or fired.”

Danny blew out a hard breath. “Okay,
dad
, I get it. Won’t happen again. Can we change the subject now?”

Yeah, Danny knew he was being a dick, but he was in no mood for one of Nathan’s goody two-shoes speeches. He was still hung over, he’d tossed and turned all afternoon, and the bad weather meant a long, probably quiet night stuck in the cruiser with someone who was “worried about him.”

Danny seriously contemplated shooting himself in the foot so he could go home.

“Stella wants you to know you can talk to her anytime. About anything.” Nathan shifted in his seat uncomfortably. “I’m here for you, too, but, uh, Stella is probably the better choice. For obvious reasons. She’s easy to talk to and she’s very discreet. Maybe it would help you…I don’t know…figure some shit out.”

Danny huffed. “First of all, if I needed a psychiatrist, I’d look one up. And, second of all, I’m not so sure about Stella’s
discretion
.”

Nathan shot him a look. “Excuse me?”

“You know, your sister-in-law is a real fucking bitch to me and I’m pretty sure I know why.”

Nathan’s brows dropped. “Which sister-in-law?”

“The stuck-up, snarky one.”

“Fi? She’s not stuck-up or snarky. She’s just-”

“Not Fi! Kat!” Danny shook his head. “That woman has done nothing but give me dirty looks and snipe at me every chance she’s gotten for the past year! Obviously you told Stella a bunch of shit about me and Stella told Kat! There’s no other explanation!”

Nathan paused. “Yes, Stella has asked questions about your…lifestyle. I answered them honestly, because, A – she is my wife and I would never lie to her, and B – I had no idea you would care that she knew. When I told her, I never specified she keep it between us because, again, I didn’t know your lifestyle was a secret. Stella is very close to her sisters and maybe she did share some stuff with them, but that’s my fault, not hers. Had I told her to be discreet, she would have been.”

“What kind of
stuff
did you share with your
wife
, because I’d really like to know if I can ever look anyone in that family in the eye again,” Danny snapped. “And stop calling it a
lifestyle
, for Christ’s sake. I drink alcohol, which I believe is still legal for people over twenty-one, and I have consensual sexual relationships with adult women. What about that qualifies as a
lifestyle
?” He shook his head. “I mean, seriously…I gave up the drugs when we joined the academy, I control my drinking – for the most part – and I use a condom every single time I fuck. I don’t see what’s so damn interesting about my life.”

Nathan slowed to a stop at a red light and turned to face Danny. “Why are you so agitated about this all-of-a-sudden? I’ve known you for twenty years and I have never seen or heard you give one shit about what people knew, didn’t know, thought, or felt about how you choose to live your life. Why would you care what Kat, of all people, thinks of you?”

“I
don’t
care what she thinks about me! I just don’t like people knowing my personal business, is all!”

Danny knew he was coming apart at the seams, but was too tired and too pissy to care. And Nathan’s level-headed approach to this conversation was real irritating right about now.

“If Stella did say anything to Kat, it was probably out of concern, but I’m still not convinced she said anything to anyone. She loves you, Danny, and would never talk shit behind your back. Not like that. Come on, you know her better than that.”

Danny exhaled a long, hard sigh.

Yeah, he did.

“I’m sorry, man.” Danny stared out at the darkened city scenes passing by. “You’re right. I know Stella would never purposefully say nasty shit behind my back. It just pisses me off the way her sister treats me.” Danny turned back, a smile tugging at his lips. “It’s just freaking me out, because if my ability to charm the opposite sex wears off, I’m screwed. As you know, it’s my only real talent in life.”

“No, it’s not, but it’s definitely one of your better-developed, that’s for damn sure.” A few moments of silence passed before Nathan said, “Listen, if you want my opinion regarding Kat – and even if you don’t – here it is: I’ve told you before that she is
not
like the women you typically spend time with. She says what she means, holds other people, and herself, to high standards, and dislikes nonsense. She’s also smarter than both of us put together and very, very guarded.” Nathan paused. “What I’m trying to say is, I wouldn’t take her behavior personally. Stella can’t figure out what Kat’s thinking or feeling half the time and Stella’s damn near psychic that way.”

“I don’t take it personally,” Danny lied, to himself and to Nathan. “But it does aggravate the piss out of me. Being an emotional cripple is one thing, but being a total bitch for no reason is another.” Danny gestured toward Nathan. “Look at you. You’re the biggest emotional cripple I’ve ever met and somehow you manage to…” At Nathan’s quirked brow, Danny started laughing. “Yeah, okay, I see your point. You just come off as a dick to everyone instead of a bitch. Now I see why you guys get along so well.”

“We do have a lot of the same personality traits, and, to be honest, I find dealing with her very easy. I love Stella more than life itself and her family is my family now, but dealing with them can be exhausting. When I interact with Kat, there’s no mindless blathering, endless hugging, or illogical displays of emotion. If she has something to say, she says it in a straight-forward, practical manner, and, if she doesn’t, she doesn’t say anything at all.” Nathan grinned. “It’s like heaven on Earth.”

“I can’t help but notice you married Stella, though. Because, no matter how wonderfully direct and logical Kat is…” Danny said, rolling his eyes. “You fell head over heels for her loud, wild, affectionate sister. It’s not Kat you couldn’t keep your hands off of, it wasn’t Kat you married, and it sure as fuck wasn’t Kat’s name you tattooed across your chest. Because nobody wants to spend their life with a cold fish like Kat Ciaramitaro – even someone exactly like her.”

“You can’t help who you fall for, brother.” Nathan scoffed. “Trust me, I
wish
I would’ve fallen in love with Kat. My life would have been a whole lot easier. And cleaner. And quieter. Pretty sure Kat wouldn’t be waking me up in the middle of the night ‘just to hold each other’ and discuss shit so ‘we can feel more emotionally connected.” His tone suggested irritation, but Nathan’s barely discernible smile belied his adoration for his wife. “But that’s not how it works, you know? You love who you love. And, by the way, I think you’re being extremely hard on Kat. She’s not cold, she’s just very guarded. There’s a big difference. And don’t forget that she is also dealing with a serious illness. There’s a lot going on that you don’t see.”

Danny waved off Nathan’s assessment. “Yeah, whatever. Let’s talk about something else, okay? Because I’ve had my fill of talking about
her
for one night.”

Especially
her disease. It made Danny’s stomach clench up just thinking about it.

“Okay, tell me about the girl you met up with at the club. How’d that go?”

Damn, the one thing Danny wanted to talk about even less than he wanted to talk about
her
.

Normally, he would have jumped right in, supplying Nathan with every lurid detail of the encounter whether he wanted to hear them or not (and it was usually
not
).

But Danny didn’t feel like it tonight. He didn’t know if it was the hangover, the lack of sleep, or the general feeling of bored restlessness he’d been experiencing over the past few months.

Well, more like the past twenty years, but it had gotten increasingly worse over the past few months.

Danny shrugged. “Nothing much to tell. I met up with her, fucked her in the bathroom, got drunk, and called you for a ride. End of story.”

“You had sex with her in the…wait, what bathroom? The bathroom at the club?”

When Danny nodded, Nathan’s brows dropped low.

“Are you trying to tell me you’ve never had sex in a public bathroom?” Danny asked.

Nathan scoffed. “Uh,
no
. That’s illegal. And unhygienic. And pretty inconsiderate, if you think about it. People enter a public bathroom with the expectation of-”

“Okay, okay, I get it,” Danny interrupted, lifting a hand. “No need to launch into one of your good citizen tirades. If it makes you feel any better, I only broke the law for about two minutes – three, tops. And no handicapped dudes came in needing to piss or shit while we were fucking, so no real harm done.”

Nathan turned into the Dunkin’ Donuts parking lot and pulled into the drive-thru line. “There’s the lifestyle I’m talking about. Believe it or not, that type behavior is not normal.”

“You’re wrong. You’re all moral and uptight and cautious, but most guys aren’t like that. Or at least not to the degree you are.” Danny shot Nathan a glance, grinning. “Sorry to burst your bubble, but there’s a lot more fucking in public bathrooms going than you think, brother. It’s a fact you’re just going to have to live with.”

Nathan’s upper lip curled. “God, I am so glad I’m married and that I’ll never have to deal with all that weird shit again.”

“Why do I have the feeling Stella would be more than willing to-”

Nathan held up his hand. “Uh-uh, stop right there. Don’t say another word.”

“But you can’t tell me-”

Nathan gave Danny one of his
do-NOT-go-there
glares. “
My
wife.
Not. Another. Word
.”

Danny grinned, but kept his mouth shut because he had no desire to die tonight. Because if there was one thing that turned cool Nathan into crazy, terrifying Nathan, it was dragging Stella (or even just Stella’s name) into anything he deemed inappropriate or negative.

You’d have better luck going ten rounds with the fucking devil himself.

“Before I forget –” Nathan shot Danny another warning glance. “Or before I have to punch your teeth down your throat – Stella wants you at Sunday dinner. She said if you refuse again, she’s going to start taking it very personally.” When Danny opened his mouth to reply, Nathan added, “
And
she said that if you don’t come, she will drive to your house, bust in, and verbally berate you until you finally give in. She says you might as well just do what she says and save her the hassle. And I would advise you to just that because she is
not
joking around.”

Being in homey settings like that was…uncomfortable…for Danny, which was why he’d turned down a year and a half of invitations from Stella.

But Danny had known this day was coming. Stella’s patience had reached its threshold and Danny had no doubt she would do, without hesitation, exactly as she’d threatened.

Plus, it had been about ten years since he’d sat down and eaten a home-cooked meal at an actual table. Danny scarfed down plenty of Stella’s cooking out of Tupperware containers during shifts, sitting on the couch, and standing in front of the fridge. Might be nice to eat some off a plate, for a change.

Or it might just be stifling, uncomfortable, and weird.

Danny seriously considered Stella’s threat.

With his luck, she’d bust down his door during one of Danny’s “dates.”

He shuddered, imagining the Stella psych eval he’d be subjected to after that little confrontation.

Danny nodded. “Yeah, okay. Tell Stella I’ll be there. Can I follow you guys, though? I’d feel stupid as shit showing up by myself.”

‡