All That the Heart Desires (42 page)

Harry had already sent the suitcases to the lobby and I looked around the room, checking to see if I’d forgotten anything. After the inspection I smiled at my waiting brother and joined him in the hallway. He’d had some sun too, although not much, as being a natural redhead, his skin was like mine, pale and almost without pigment.

We were silent as we left the hotel in a shuttle bus for the airport. We were both lost in our thoughts.

“How do you sleep lately, Harry?” He looked at me and smiled.

“Better than before.”

I searched his eyes, but found no trace of doubt; I only hoped he was telling me the truth. He knew how to hide his feelings. He had a good poker face.

We went through security quickly at the airport and were then led to the jet, which seemed so familiar to me. When the flight attendant greeted me on the ground I knew I was right. I stopped abruptly, and turned to speak to Harry, but he was nowhere to be seen.

“What’s going on?” I asked her, but she just smiled. She was as clueless as I was. When I turned around to go back to the airport building the pilot stopped me.

“Miss, we must go. We cannot delay the airport schedules.”

“You’ll just have to wait,” I said firmly but, before I could walk back, my mobile rang. I looked at it and saw Harry was calling me.

“What the hell …?” I started, but he interrupted me.

“Get onto that damn plane and leave. You need to resolve matters with Lorcan. He’s waiting for you in São Paulo. I’m going back to England where I need to chase some old ghosts of my own.”

“But Harry.”

“I need to do this, Desiree, as much as you need to. The only difference is, I see it myself and you don’t. Believe me. It’s for the best, for both of us.”

I sighed at the sound of the cut line. I followed the pilot onto the plane and let them do what they had to do. I had no other choice.

Going to São Paulo was something I was not planning and landing there was the last thing I expected in the morning. I had been sent to Brazil and I didn’t know where to go or who to turn to. Stepping outside the jet, I was escorted to a car parked only a few feet away from the plane. It was Crest’s Bentley and I wondered if he took it with him wherever he went. It certainly appeared that way.

John, the driver, greeted me after putting my luggage into the boot and asked for my passport. I gave it to him after I saw that some men were approaching us. I didn’t get into the car although he held the door open for me.

I wanted to hear what they were talking about, but was left open-mouthed listening to John speaking fluid Portuguese. After customs clearance was done and my passport returned, I sat in the car in silence. The driver was a man full of surprises.

“When were you asked to pick me up from the airport?” I asked when we were outside the airport secured areas.

“It’s my job.”

I sighed and looked through the tinted windows. I knew I wouldn’t learn anything from him.

“So how was the landing?” he asked with a big smile on his face.

“A little scary.” I never imagined what an experience landing in Guarulhos Airport, São Paulo’s airport, would be.

As the qualifying was already taking place whilst I was landing, I wondered what position Lorcan held. It was as though John was reading my mind.

“He came second. He needs to win this race or he will lose the Championship. Atlanta was not in his favour.” I was surprised. On Martinique Harry requested that we skip television. I hadn’t watched the Atlanta race, but I had assumed the result was not that bad. I hid my surprise.

Although I was not really expecting it, I was not entirely surprised to be led to a room that was already occupied. The smell was all I needed and I knew I was in Lorcan’s suite. But he wasn’t there. It was nearly eight p.m. but no one I knew came to see me or at least let me know what was going on.

I tried to reach Harry but was not successful either. I tried to reach Lorcan too but, after three rings, I dropped the line. He was probably in the middle of a meeting or having dinner with sponsors. As I was pretty hungry myself, I decided to order some dinner but a knock on the door interrupted me.

I answered and sighed with relief to see that dinner was already taken care of. From the day that Anne-Marie had taken matters in her hands, I now tried to eat at least three times per day and in one week I’d become used to regular meals and it finally started to show.

After dinner I decided to take a long shower. I needed it badly. The hot water felt good on my skin as always and I took time to relax.

Still, when I came out, I was alone. There was no sign of Lorcan. I thought about what to do: there was nothing else to do but go to sleep. Crossing the Equator for the first time and taking a six and half hour flight had taken its toll. I was exhausted and didn’t care anymore whether he turned up to occupy his side of the bed or not.

It was the first time in a month that I was woken by someone holding me in his arms and not by screaming myself awake. At first I was a little panicked as to where I was and who was with me, but the fresh and unique smell of Lorcan’s skin and his quiet words soon reassured me.

“It’s just me,” he said and his gentle voice soon sent me back into a peaceful sleep, the kind of sleep I lost after I left him at the Crest Estate. Although my mind was still blurred, I knew very well that I did it to myself. I knew there was no one else to blame, but me.

The next morning, I woke up quite late and found myself alone again in the room. At first I thought that all that had happened in the night was just a dream, but there was a small package on Lorcan’s pillow and the covers on the other side of the bed were messy. I still felt the warmth of his body next to mine.

I reached for the package and was surprised by his handwriting on the top:
‘Do not open. Bring this with you.’

This time too there were Crest Team clothes waiting for me. In an hour I was dressed and ready to go, but had no clue where to go or how to get there. My mobile rang. I picked it up and answered with a smile on my face, as I knew by the number it was Lorcan.

“Did you sleep well, Sweetheart?”

“I did. Thank you.”

“You’re very much welcome,” he replied. “Are you ready?”

“Actually I am.” I said.

He started to laugh.

“What?” I asked him. I didn’t know what to think.

“John will knock on your door. Don’t forget about the package.”

Before I could ask him what was in it, the line was disconnected. Checking the clock in the room, I saw it was almost time for the drivers’ parade and it was necessary that he attended.

I wondered why they let me sleep that long, but a knock on the door disturbed me.

“I’m coming,” I answered and ran back to the bedroom to get the package and hide it in my bag.

Opening the door I saw John.

“Hi, I’m ready,” I said and smiled. He was the same as always.

“So let’s be off then.” He showed me the way and I went to the elevator and entered. He followed me, and this time I was not surprised to see him pushing the top button. The hour was late and there was no way we could get to the racecourse on time by car, no matter how much horsepower Crest’s Bentley had.

Heavy clouds hung above the São Paulo skyline and I wondered how long the dry weather would hold. Usually weather during the race weekend was mixed; dry and cloudy, but many times there had been heavy rain.

Half an hour later we were landing directly behind the teams communication centres and John led me to the Crest Team garage. It was almost empty.

There was no one I knew. It felt awkward, until I heard the engine noises and saw on the screens that the personnel were running off the racetrack. Not long after that Bobby rushed in and gave me a big hug. I felt at home after several of the mechanics gave me friendly nods or handshakes when they saw me.

The cars were starting to take their final places on the starting grid when I was once again given headphones with a microphone. The red lights lit up and I stopped breathing for those few seconds. I exhaled sharply when I saw that Lorcan had managed to hold onto his second position after the first two curves. Quite a few cars were damaged and were called back to their boxes for some minor repairs. Nothing major, but it spiced the race up a little.

The season was coming to an end. After the summer off and a return to Monza, everything had changed. The Championship title was within reach of its two biggest rivals. It was an equal race between only three drivers now.

My eyes were glued to the screens above the ceiling in the garage. It was during the fourth lap that I heard a voice in my headphones.

“Are you there?” As in Monza I thought I was hearing things. Only this time, it was not Lorcan, it was Daniel Crest himself.

“Yes,” I said, not taking my eyes from the screen.

“He needs to speak to you and he needs to speak to you now, as in a few minutes the rain will start.”

“Okay.”

The cameras were following the first three cars; the three drivers who could become champion. I realised I was clenching my fingers around the package I had taken out of my handbag.

“She’s listening, Lorcan.”

“Desiree,” finally I heard his voice.

“I’m here.”

He sighed.

“You can’t even guess how much that means to me.”

“Lorcan you must drive. You can’t talk to me.” He laughed.

“I’ll obey this time. But be sure this won’t happen much in the future.”

“In the future?” I asked, but saw Daniel indicate to me that the line between us had been cut off. At almost the same time the rain began to fall and the guys in the garage started to prepare for the tyre change.

The cars came in one by one as if on a conveyor belt and, in only seconds, they left again on their wet tyres. Almost all came in except Lorcan, as he had had his tyres for wet weather from the start. The team had predicted that the rain would start to fall very soon after the start of the race. Lorcan had gambled and in the first ten rounds it had paid off. He led the race.

In any event, the victory was not yet secured. In the middle of the race, the rain turned into a nasty storm and it looked like the stewards would be forced to end the race as so many cars slid off the track on the same turn—Curva do Sol. I recalled that the same thing had happened in the past too. With many cars crashing and sliding off the track, the press were saying sarcastically that it was the most expensive parking place on Earth. Eight cars slid in ten laps due to aquaplaning. The racetrack was not ready for such heavy rain.

Even Lorcan himself had trouble avoiding the water on the track. He was forced to leave the ideal line drive. His two pursuers were having similar problems because it was necessary. The race was not finished and it looked like the stewards didn’t want to end it. The season was too exciting and such an exhilarating race as this entertained the spectators.

Changing tyres twice mixed the order of the drivers and we all just watched the screens to see what would happen at the end. Only five laps before the finish, the rain stopped falling as suddenly as it had started.

Bobby invited me closer to the pit lane. It was almost impossible for Lorcan to lose. The other contenders were close behind but too far to catch him or even to overtake him. The team held their breath until the chequered flag was waved above his car and then loud cheering and laughter started to fill the garage and all the men started to run to where the first three drivers had parked their cars.

Bobby grabbed my hand and all I was able to do was to run with him to where everyone was heading. All three winning team members were already there and Bobby and the other guys almost had to fight their way closer. I was not left behind. Even Crest joined us in waiting for Lorcan to finish his victory lap. He pulled me into his arms and whispered into my ear.

“Thank you.” I was so surprised by those words that I just stared into his eyes.

“He won because of you.”

I shook my head.

“He won because he knows how to drive.”

Crest laughed and hugged me again.

“A true fan.”

Just then Lorcan parked his racing car and climbed out. He took his helmet off and checked the people waiting by the fences and only when his eyes met mine, did he raise his hand.