Always Loving You (4 page)

“So.” Emma wiggled her eyebrows. “This is it, then. No backing out now.”

“Nope, I’m all in. There is no way I’m taking back these clothes, and I’d never be able to sleep again if I wasted this much money for nothing.”

“Yay, that’s the spirit. Now let’s get ready to unleash hell on poor, unsuspecting Mac. He’s going to find out that hell hath no fury like a woman kicked to the curb for one with a bigger butt.”

Ava snickered, unable to control herself. Emma was a total nut, but boy, did she have a way with words!

Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap. What am I doing?
Ava looked down at herself, cringing at the unfamiliar clothes she was wearing. She had arranged to meet Dominic at his bike around six, and she had made it with five minutes to spare. She had on some of her new clothes, picked by Suzy for her first motorcycle ride. The outfit consisted of formfitting jeans, a black belt, a white tank top, and a lightweight black leather jacket. A pair of black boots completed the look. Ava felt as if every curve of her body was screaming,
Hey, look at me!
She did have to admit that even though she wasn’t comfortable with the way the clothes molded to her curves, she did feel just a little sexy in them. Maybe too sexy. Dominic would probably think she was coming on to him. Before she could have a panic attack at that thought, the man himself sauntered up to her with a sexy grin on his face. Yeah, he definitely sauntered; there was nothing normal about his walk. He moved like a man who knew who he was and didn’t care to pretend otherwise. Of course, Mac and Declan both had a similar gait. Maybe it was more like a military swagger. She gave
him her brightest smile, trying not to look terrified. “Hey, Dominic.”

“Hey, Blondie. Wasn’t sure if I’d see you here or not.”

Suddenly, she felt awkward and embarrassed. Had he been hoping she wouldn’t show up? She had kind of put him on the spot this morning. He was no doubt just trying to be nice by agreeing to the ride, since she was friends with Mac.

Looking down at the toes of her new boots, she said, “If you don’t want to bother, that’s fine. Really, it was probably a silly idea anyway.” At that moment, Ava saw movement out of the corner of her eye and looked over to see Mac and Gwen exiting the elevator into the garage. “Oh, damn, perfect,” she muttered under her breath. That was all she needed, Mac and his new girlfriend with the big butt witnessing her humiliation as Dominic sent her on her way.

“Blondie, if you want to do this, let’s make it good. Here’s your big chance to get Mac’s attention. Just play along and I guarantee he’ll be fucking flipping out.”

She snapped her head around to look at Dominic, gaping at him in surprise. “What?”

He grinned in response, before settling on his bike and telling her to climb on behind him. “Baby, I wasn’t born yesterday. Sometimes it takes a hard right to the heart to realize how bad you’ve fucked up. I’m thinking you’ve taken the hit and now you’re ready for some return fire. And lucky for you, that’s my specialty.”

Ava quickly but awkwardly climbed on the big bike behind Dominic, not realizing until she was settled that
her crotch was going to be sitting right in the curve of his ass. It was official; this was her most intimate moment with something that didn’t require batteries. She tried to ignore the throbbing between her thighs at the foreign feeling of a masculine body nestled there. She might love Mac, but she couldn’t ignore the little flicker of desire that she felt at being this close to a man. She saw Mac and Gwen gawking at them before Mac started forward, almost dragging poor Gwen across the pavement. “Oh, shit, here they come. Why are you helping me? Mac’s your friend.”

Dominic rocked the bike backward, releasing the stand before he turned sideways to say, “Because he has something I want . . . and I have something he wants.”

“What are you talking about?” Before he could answer, Mac and an out-of-breath Gwen reached them and sparks were flying.

“Dom, what in the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Mac’s hot gaze flew over her, and she saw him visibly swallow. In a gentler tone he added, “Avie, get off the bike.”

Dominic ignored his friend, simply smirking in response. “Ava and I are going to dinner and then I’m giving her a riding lesson.”

Ava watched Mac, fascinated, as a nerve ticked away in his jaw. She couldn’t remember the last time she had seen him so angry. He usually showed her only his gentle side, even though she was aware that he, like most people, had a harder side. “What kind of lesson?” Oh, yikes, he thought that was a code for sex, didn’t he?

“He’s teaching me to drive his bike. I’ve been
wanting to try it for a while.” Uh-oh, he had his hands in his hair now, looking for all the world as if he was going to yank some of it out in frustration. Wow, if Ava had wanted to get a reaction out of him, this was it. He looked as if he was going to detonate. Beside him, Gwen’s eyes jumped from Mac to Dominic to Ava and then back again. She looked as if she was on the verge of solving a big puzzle and just needed a few more pieces. Ava didn’t miss the quick, appraising look that Dominic shot Gwen before looking away. Apparently, he also liked big butts and was ready to help Ava get Mac so that he would be free to have G-lo. Wow—weren’t there reality shows about stuff like this? Ava had never thought she’d actually be a part of some type of love triangle.

Mac’s eyes drilled into hers as he continued to speak to her in the same soft voice. “Ava, bikes are dangerous. There is no way you can drive a Harley. You’re going to get seriously hurt. Now please get off and I’ll walk you back to your car.” Something about his tone was really starting to piss her off. She was tired of being treated like an invalid. Maybe she had done nothing to prove to him that she was capable of living a normal life, but that was about to change. This was no longer just about getting Mac back from Gwen; this was about showing him that she had a backbone. She wasn’t the same scared teenager anymore. Well, maybe she was still scared, but damn it, she needed to prove that she could do something other than cower in a corner. She could be fearless and fun.

She gave him a bright smile before tightening her arms around Dominic’s waist. “I’m ready if you are,”
she said against his ear. Beneath her, the big bike roared to life and Dominic threw a wave at Mac and Gwen before taking off. Ava heard Mac yelling at their retreating backs, but she had no time to try to decipher his words; she was too busy holding on for dear life.

Oh God, Mac was right, this bike was way out of her league. Ava buried her face in Dominic’s back and started reciting every prayer she had ever heard. She even threw in Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep for good measure. A prayer was a prayer, right? She finally turned her head sideways when she was close to asphyxiating in Dominic’s shirt. The Atlantic Ocean glimmered on her right, and she realized that they were on Ocean Boulevard. Even through her death grip she noticed how vivid the view from the back of the bike was compared to the countless times she had traveled this same route by car. There was something about the warmth of the sun on her face and the feel of the wind in her hair that made her feel alive. She hesitantly loosened her grip enough to ease back slightly and gasped in surprise. It was still scary as hell when she looked down at the road flying by, but there was also an unfamiliar rush racing through her veins. She was actually doing it. She was trying something new, something kind of dangerous, and she wasn’t having a panic attack or a nervous breakdown.

She heard Dominic yell at her over his shoulder, “Not bad, is it, Blondie?” She laughed in reply, feeling her body relax further. She felt like Kate Winslet in
Titanic
when she stood on the bow of the ship with her arms in the air. She laughed again and figured that
Dominic must think she was losing her mind. She didn’t care, though; she wanted to revel in the moment. All too soon, the bike slowed and pulled into a parking space next to the boardwalk. Dominic set the bike back on the stand and cut the engine. She held on to his shoulder as he helped her climb from the bike before getting off himself. “I thought we’d grab a sandwich and eat outside since it’s such a nice evening.” Normally, she would have listed all the reasons that she would rather eat indoors in the cool air-conditioning, but what the hell? She was turning over a new leaf, and after riding a motorcycle, surely eating a hot dog outside would be tame in comparison.

“Sounds good,” she agreed, and followed him to the small café on the corner. They walked in the door and she fought the urge to suggest an indoor table. Dominic was more comfortable outside and she was just along for the ride, literally. As her eyes scrolled over the menu on the wall behind the counter, she suddenly clapped her hands in excitement before grabbing Dominic’s arm. “Funnel cake! Oh, please, can I have that instead of real food?” Dominic started chuckling and Ava’s cheeks colored when she realized that the few people in the café were smiling at her childlike enthusiasm for the sugary treat.

“Blondie, you get whatever you want. You’re a bike-riding badass now. Break a few more rules and have dessert first.” Dominic ordered two foot-long hot dogs for himself and the funnel cake for her. He also ordered them both Coke, which made her cringe slightly. She usually stuck to diet drinks, but that seemed silly when
she was eating a fried treat with no doubt thousands of calories in it. She wondered idly how many calories riding a motorcycle burned off.
Surely anxiety raises your heart rate.

Dominic balanced their food on a tray while she ran ahead and opened the door for them. Soon, they were settled at a table on the boardwalk. She had to admit that the sound of the waves breaking against the shore beside them was better than listening to the chatter indoors. Maybe Dominic was onto something. After taking her first bite of the fluffy, fried cake loaded with powdered sugar, she wiped her lips and looked at the man across the table from her. It seemed strange to be sharing a meal with him, since they had never really done it before. She had eaten with him, Mac, and Gage, but that was hardly the one-on-one they were having now. “So, you like Gwen, huh?” she blurted out before thinking better of it.

He lifted an eyebrow, looking surprised at the personal question for a moment before shrugging. She thought he was going to let the subject drop, but after a long sip of his drink, he finally answered, “Gwen and I are neighbors. I saw her first, I guess you could say. I didn’t even know she worked for Danvers until Mac started dating her.”

She gave him a sympathetic look, recognizing a kindred soul. “So you waited around too long and someone else moved in on your girl? Yeah, I can relate to that. I mean . . . not the moving-in-on-the-girl part, since obviously no one moved in on my girl . . . um, not that I have a girl, but . . .”

Dominic laughed, holding his hand up to stop her fumbling explanation. “I get it, Blondie. Yeah, we do have some things in common, although you kind of dropped the ball in a much bigger way than I did. Hell, I had just seen Gwen around our apartment complex and thought about asking her out. Honey, Mac has worshipped the ground you walk on for years. He was so messed up over you when we were in Afghanistan, I’m surprised he didn’t get his ass blown off.” In a gentler voice, he continued. “I get that you had some bad shit that happened to you and you’ve been hurting over it, but time waits for no man or woman, Blondie, and it looks like you’re starting to see that. Hell, I am as well.”

He saw her look of surprise when he mentioned her past, and he covered her hand briefly with his. “Declan, Mac, Gage, and I are brothers in every way that counts. There are few secrets between us. We lived in too-close quarters for many years for that. Secrets get you killed over there. I don’t know all the details, but I know someone hurt you, and I’m sorry as hell about that. I really am. I know that the kind of emotional baggage that normal people never experience even in their worst dreams does something to you. It changes everything you are. Believe me, I know that. We all do. It makes me hesitate to do something seemingly easy and normal like ask a woman out who I’m really attracted to. It makes you afraid to show the man who loves you that you feel the same way and it makes Mac afraid of ending up alone. We all have the pieces we need to make something good happen in our lives. We’re just fucking up with putting the puzzle together correctly.”

Ava sat staring at Dominic, shocked by the almost poetic way that he spoke. He seemed to give new meaning to the saying ”still waters run deep.” She found herself responding to his speech by wanting to do one of two things: cry her eyes out until she was a blubbering mess or blurt out some deep, dark secret just to see what his take on it was. “All your reports were wrong; I haven’t dated anyone or been with a man since that night.”

She studied Dominic’s almost comical reaction as the hot dog he was holding froze on the way to his mouth. “Come again.” He blinked as if he had misunderstood her statement.
Shit, maybe this confession isn’t such a good idea.

“I picked men up in bars periodically and paid them to come home with me for a while. I knew that Mac kept a tail on me to . . . watch over me, and I didn’t want him to know that I’m not normal.”

Dominic set his hot dog back down without taking a bite and leaned forward on the table, looking stunned. “What did these men do who came home with you, then? Some of them were there all night.”

Ava looked down, rubbing her finger in circles on the tabletop. God, this had gotten embarrassing. Admitting how messed up she was to a macho man like Dominic was almost impossible, but there was no way he would let it go now. He looked determined to get some answers. “Well . . . I told them all I was trying to make my boyfriend jealous and offered them a couple hundred bucks to come home with me for a while. We, um . . . played video games, Monopoly, or sometimes they fell
asleep and I just let them stay on the couch until morning. I also locked my bedroom door, though,” she rushed to assure him.

Rubbing his head, Dominic slumped back in his seat. “Blondie, do you have any idea how fucked-up that is? Aside from the fact that you almost killed Mac every time I had to report in that you had some guy at your house for the evening, do you have any idea how dangerous that was? Shit, you of all people should know that you can’t trust a complete stranger. How could you possibly let someone you didn’t know into your house with you? Damn, you even let some stay while you slept. Ava! Shit, that’s completely whacked.” When a tear slid down her cheek, his expression softened in apology. “I didn’t mean to yell at you, Blondie, but it looks like you’ve been living on the edge for years without evening acknowledging it. Riding a motorcycle is nothing compared to what you’ve been doing. I just . . . I’m blown away here. I’m the last one to judge, but Mac needs to seriously spank your ass for pulling a dangerous stunt like that repeatedly. I mean, what were you thinking?”