Amish Heart (Erotic Romance) (Amish Heart Trilogy) (10 page)

“Tell me it will work out.”

“It will all work out, my Becca.  It will all work out.”

Chapter
14

“I can’t believe it.”  Leah stood appalled, facing Rebekah in the store.  “I can’t believe it!”

Rebekah braced herself, sensing what was coming.

“You had relations with him!”  Leah accused.  “After promising me you would be wary of him, you had relations with him!”

Rebekah shifted her feet.  She hadn’t been expecting this.  She hadn’t told Leah; Leah had just known.

“An English
!  He took advantage of you, Rebekah.”

“No, Nick loves me.”

“No, he does not love you.  He
cannot
love you.  He is not Amish.  He is only English.  The English aren’t like us.  They don’t have hearts like we do.  How can he understand you?  How can he possibly love you?”  She answered her own question.  “No, he doesn’t love you.  He is simply utilizing you for his own gratification. “

Nick, use her?
No! 
It was unthinkable. 
Nick loves me.

“No, we’re in love!”

“Truly?”  Leah challenged.  “He’s in love?  Well, then.  Did he ask you to marry him?”

“Not yet,” Rebekah admitted despondently.

“And he won’t. “ She pored over her sister’s face before throwing another volley.  “Will he become Amish, then?”

I don’t think I’m cut out to be Amish
.  Those had been his words.  After fucking, those were his words.  Was it possible that Nick didn’t love her?  Was it at all possible that Leah could be right?  Rebekah pressed her lips together in order to not betray herself and start crying. 

“I thought not,”
Leah snapped harshly.  Then, seeing the tears in her sister’s eyes, her tone turned a bit more kind. 

“He deceived you.  He only took you to satisfy his manly appetites.  It’s not your fault.  But he can’t love you.  You know that, right?”

“No!  I was certain he loved me.”  Not only had their lovemaking been fiercely erotic, it had been tender as well.  She could feel his love in his kisses, see it in his eyes.  She had known that he loved her.  Or at least . . . she thought that he had.

“I’m so sorry.”

“He held me and kissed me and touched me and made me feel things . . .” She let her voice trail off. 

Leah patted her hand.  “I’m sorry.  Such a love does not exist.  He used it to get you to do his bidding. 
He used you.”
  She fairly spat the last three bitter words out of her mouth.

In the end, all Rebekah could do was nod glumly and weep, admitting Leah was, once again, correct in her view of the world.

Leah’s words ate at her for two days, destroying her.  All during that time, she half hoped, half feared she would see Nick.  By the second day, her grief had turned to anger.  She saw how he had exploited her and manipulated her with flattery and words of affection.  Worse still, she saw how she had been so gullibly led: she had given up her virginity to be with someone who could never understand her, who never wanted anything from her except fucking.  Worst of all, she had to secretly admit to herself, she might do it all again to feel once more the way he made her feel. 

So, when Nick walked jauntily into the store two days later, she icily disregarded him and waited on customers until they were all gone, never once making eye contact or glancing in his general direction.  Once alone in the store, she turned her back and squared her shoulders against him.

“What the hell?”  Taking long strides, Nick was over to where she was, and when she rebuffed him by not responding to his gentle touch on her shoulder, he took her arm and spun her around to face him.             

“What the fuck is up?”

She gave him a venomous glare.  “Why don’t you confess?”

“
Whaaa?  Confess what?  What are you talking about?”

“You don’t love me!  You’ve just been
using me.  All you wanted was fucking.”

“What the—Wait a minute now!  What has happened to you?”

She let her voice become snide, “If you ‘loved me’ Nick, you would become Amish.  If you ‘loved me,’ you’d want to marry me!  If you ‘loved me’—you don’t love me.  You are a liar.  You can’t love me.”

“Now wait just a damned minute!  Is this because I said I didn’t want to be Amish?”  Bewilderment gave way to frustration. 

She pointed to the door.  “Leave.  I’m marrying Ezekiel.”

“Holy shit!
  Wait a minute.  You can’t do that!”

“Yes I can.”

“You don’t love him!”

“And why is that important?”

“Because, dammit, you love me!”  He was bellowing.

Picking his hand off her arm
and tossing it aside, she answered coldly.  “I can’t love you.  You’re English.  I’ll always be Amish.”

“You do love me!”  There was desperation in his voice. 
Heartbreak.  She could hear it, feel it even.  But she knew that if she wavered even a bit then he would be free to employ her to his own ends again.  Best thing she could do is kill her own heart.  She had no other choice.  Leah had been right.  He didn’t ask for her hand, he had only gotten angry.  He refused to become Amish and he was argumentative.  He could not love her. 

W
ith the terrible coldness of indifference she simply answered him, “Goodbye, Nicholas,” as she turned her back on him again. 

After a few moments of dead silence, she heard him leave the store, slamming the screen door loudly on his way out.

You don’t love me.  You are a liar.  You can’t love me.
  These were the words of recrimination that she had flung at Nick.  It had been over a day since she had snarled those. 

I can’t love you.
  The lie she had told him. 

With an anguished heart she lay on her back next to her sleeping sister and watched the moonlight dapple the curtain, rivulets of tears streaking down from her eyes and pooling in her ears. 

In wretchedness, she replayed each moment of crazed desire and each second of bliss.  She remembered the emotion that had caught in Nick’s voice with his last utterance to her. 

You do love me.

Yes, she did.  Even if he did not love her she would always love him.  Despite her decision to destroy her own feelings, she found that it was not possible to do so.  She would always hunger for him, always imagine him touching her in the stillness of the dark, when the rest of the house was asleep.

Plink!  Plink!

The unfamiliar noise came from the window—
birds?
 
Bats?

Plink!  Plink!  Plink!

Momentarily distracted from her own affliction, Rebekah got up and moved to the window to investigate.

Nick was under her window, ready to hurl another pebble.

“Shush!”  She brought one finger to her lips in reproach, and then broke out in a huge silent laugh.  She couldn’t help it.  Seeing him again just felt so good.  She held out the same finger. 
Just one minute.
  He returned her grin, blowing her a huge kiss.  In her nightgown she quickly tiptoed down the stairs and outside the house where, without conscious thought, she wrapped herself around his long, strong body. 

Without a word, he took her hand and led her down the road to where his van was parked.   He opened the passenger door for her and she got in. 
To talk
, she cautioned herself, already having thrilled to the touch of his arms around her. 
Only to talk.

Upon getting in the van himself, Nick swung around to face her as he did the first day he touched her hand.  He
studied her a long somber moment before reaching into his pocket and withdrawing a small box.  The full moon shone milky white upon one side of his face, leaving the rest in shadow.

He cleared his throat.  “I’ve been trying to figure out how to say this so forgive me if I don’t get it quite right.  Our relationship has gone fast, and wonderful, and the last few weeks have been the best of my life.

“What I’m trying to say, Becca, is that I always want to be with you.  I want you with me always.  I love you.  You’re all I think about and I can’t imagine my life without you.  So, I’m asking you to come away with me and be with me.” 

He extended the box to her.  “This is for you. “

Almost staggering in her gauze of thought, Rebekah took the box and opened it.  Inside was a little gold band with carved hands holding a crowned heart.

“It’s an Irish wedding ring.  It belonged to my mother.” 

Holy Shit!  Dear God, he does want to marry me.

“Nick, I
—”

“Is that a yes?”

Her eyes became wet again, this time with happy tears. 

“Yes!”

He reached across to her seat to kiss her.  “Great, so, what do you need to bring?”

She frowned.  “Leave now?”

“Well, you can wait until tomorrow after you’ve told your family, of course, but—wait a minute, what’s wrong?”

The ring—a thing she had never touched before—
I would wear it?—
the proposal, the thought of her leaving her family, it was overwhelming.  She quaked at the idea, elated but afraid.

“I will lose my family.”

“Ridiculous.”

“No, I will.” 
To the best of her ability, she tried to describe to him what it would be like to be shunned.  “. . . My family would never be able to speak or write to me again.  We couldn’t even eat together.”

“That’s crazy.  Do you know how
insane that all is?”

She shrugged.  “It is our way.”

“Well, look, you don’t have to decide this very minute to go today, but think about it, please.  Okay?”

He kissed her troubled face until she was smiling again.

“Yes.”

She kissed him back, her lips melting against the heat of his mouth.  She wanted to be close—very close
—and so moved into the second seat to sit and embrace him. He trailed kisses over her face and lips and neck and his hands began to travel over her nightgown, soon finding her perfect round breasts and puckered nipples. 

A warmth
began to brew in her that she knew so well, rising up out of her female parts and encompassing her thighs and belly.

Nick let go of her for just a moment to unhook the seat back and
place it flat so he could lay her down.  And lay her down he did, pulling his body on top of her as he did their first time in the chicken coop.  She could feel his rigid maleness rubbing her thickly through her thin cotton gown. 
I want it
, she inwardly moaned,
I want his cock inside me
.  But she let the moment build.  She tried to imagine a life where this kind of love would be hers for the taking, where it would be a right and not wind up as some heart-sore memory. 

He slid partly off of her to spread his hand up her nightgown to her wet, trembling parts
.  Oh God, I want him so badly.
  Taking two fingers, he enlivened her clit, up and down, finding her point and working it finely with his fingertips.  It would be a provocative caress, then a maddening tickle, and then he would swoop his fingers inside her.  Over and again until she was clawing at his pants, unbuckling his belt and unzipping his fly.

“Give it to me.”

“Give what to you?”  The tease continued, with him swatting her hands away, while still massaging her clit. 

“Your cock.”

“Where do you want my cock?”

He pulled her gown up further and sucked hard on a nipple while flicking her fold of silk with his fingers, back and forth, getting her to yelp.

“Where do you want it?”

“Inside me.”

He laughed.  “Now, that gives me three options.  You better be specific.”

“Inside my pussy!”
  She was panting.

Without moving to oblige her, he asked, tweaking her nipple once again, “And what do you want my cock to do to your pussy?”

He pulled on her clit, similarly to how she stroked his erection. On both sides, all the way up to the top, all the way down to her opening.  Meeting her vagina, he licked a finger and swirled it around the bare inside of her innermost lips.

The effect was maddening.  Passion had taken proprietary rights over her and she would
come unglued if he did not get inside her right this instant.

“Fuck me,” she begged.  “Just fuck me.”

“No,” he said softly.  “I am going to make love to you.”

Pulling her nightgown completely off, and pulling down his jeans, he climbed on top of her to beleaguer her some more. He had pulled one of those plastic balloon things from his pocket and held it in his hand.  Teasingly, he
spread her legs and put just the very top part of the head of his erection into her receptive lower lips, and lay there, swaying his hips from side to side, vexing her with slight incendiary movement.

“Why do you want me to fuck you?”

At that, unable to withstand any more torture, she laid her hands on his butt cheeks and with all her might pulled him into her, while raising her hips to receive him. 

Once started, she couldn’t stop.  Pushing upward while she pulled him inward, her lust became unequaled.  Her upward straining matched his inward exertions. 
In and out.  It had become a monster inside her, growing torrid, slick and feverish.  He was punishing her with love, and in the cramped space of the van, she put her legs around him to hug him in tighter as she clinched her velvety muscles around him. 

Fast
and furious was his bucking, punching her firmly and sweetly with every stroke.  She lay transfixing him with her knees and reached around her bottom to the point where they joined.  Laying her fingers against the tightly muscled rings of her pussy and the amazing hardness of his spear, she felt him slipping into her and sliding out.  It was hard, and febrile, and very saturated with her juices.  Bringing her hand back up, she put those fingers to his lips, which he took in his mouth and sucked hard.  She felt the blistering of him inside her and it sent her over the edge.

“
Uhhhh—” she began.

Firmly, Nick clamped down on her mouth with one hand while placing his other hand under her bottom and holding her firmly in place while jerking wildly inside her.  She continued
her muffled howls as the rush came, taking her away entirely, devoid of all sensibility, only aware of him as he finished his shuddering and lay with arms around her, barely daring to breathe. 

“You scared me,” he panted.  “I thought that I had lost you.”

She hugged him tighter.  “Never.”

He kissed her on the throat, the chin, and then the mouth.  “Promise.”

“I promise you.”

“I want to take you away right now, tonight.”

“Not tonight, not yet.”

He kissed her again, sensual and narcotic. 

“When?” he asked in between surges of his lips and tongue.

“Soon.” 

“Tomorrow.  Which is today in a few hours.”

“I don’t know.”

“The next day,” he said, sweeping her up in another smoldering kiss.

“Maybe.”

“I’ll come see you.  The day after tomorrow, which is really tomorrow.”

His erection stirred to life again on her thigh.  This time he had time to put on the plastic before she enveloped him.  She liked the feeling of him bare inside her better, she decided. 

She spread her legs as far as possible in order to accommodate him, being rewarded by feeling him ram to the center of her core.  She hung on to his biceps, clinging to him as he rode her again, deftly  working his fingers in a circle around her clit in time to his thrusts, sending off charges of heat and current through her body with each one. 

Without breaking stride, he bent down to embed a long soulful kiss, stealing her breath.  It was thrilling and mesmerizing at the same time.
Rebekah’s entire mound ached for release, screamed for deliverance.  Her hips moved in tune with his, arching up to meet his glorious cock and withdrawing to feel the head graze the underside of her clit.  As he accelerated his pace, she pushed as hard as she could back, finally able to hold back no more as her body sought emancipation from sweet torture and fractured into a million pieces from his impassioned pounding.  His second coming was sharply emotional as he cried out, leaving droplets of tears upon her shoulders.

She held him tenderly
with him still inside her, rocking him as if he were a babe until moonlight gave way to the soft gray before dawn.  Milking time would be soon.  After kissing him one last time, she got up to leave.

“I will see you tomorrow,” he promised as she exited the van.

She blew him a kiss and moved stealthily into the house.  Soon they wouldn’t have to sneak around to see each other.  Soon, they could be together forever.