Andrea and the 5-Day Challenge (20 page)

I made it to the parking lot and spied Luke's car, and there in front of the entrance to the coffee house stood Luke himself. He was even punctual. How unfair was that? He really was the perfect guy, and I had to give him up. My heart cracked just a little bit more as I marched toward him.

He greeted me with a smile. “Good morning.”

Why did he have to look so happy and expectant as though seeing me would actually improve his day instead of ruining it? Or maybe I'm giving myself too much credit. He might not even care that much. Except, I hoped he did care. I mean, I didn't want his heart to hurt because mine felt like a truck had run over it, but at least there should be a little tremor of loss.

We both got some coffee, but instead of sitting inside, we decided to walk to the park across the street. The sun had just peaked above the horizon and sent an amber glow over the damp grass as we plodded through it to the sidewalk. The air felt brisk and moist. I wondered if it would rain. That would be the icing on the cake to this whole affair.

Luke clasped my hand as we walked. He smiled, and then took a sip of his coffee. “It's nice here this early in the morning—like nothing bad can happen to you.”

My eyes scrunched closed and my stomach muscles tightened. Why did he have to say something like that? It made this that much more difficult.

“It's nice, but I think it might rain.” I glanced up at the dark clouds moving in around the emerging sun.

“I didn't think it rained much here this time of year.”

“Not like in the summer or anything, but we have a downpour every once in awhile especially if it's related to a tropical storm or hurricane. It does make everything impossibly green.”

“Yeah, I noticed. Not like the brown foothills of the OC. That's Orange County where I lived in California, in case you didn't know.” He grinned.

I tried to return the smile. “Wait until January or February. We might actually get snow.” Why was I going on and on like a crazed weather person? I guess it was better than actually breaking up with Luke. How did one even broach that subject? Just throw it at him and run like the wind, right?

But he was currently holding my hand and it felt so good. I didn't want to run away from him. I wanted to walk with him all morning and listen to the bluebirds and cardinals as they flitted from tree to tree. I wanted to look into his sparkly eyes and smell his fresh-from-the-shower scent until I got dizzy.

We came to a bench, and I took a seat which allowed me the opportunity to let go of his hand. It seemed eerily symbolic, feeling his warm fingers slowly slip away from my own and have in place a cold northeastern wind chilling my fingertips enough that I had to squish them into my jacket pocket.

“Luke, I, uh, I feel so stupid.” I peered down at my lap because no way could I look into his eyes. They might sparkle or twinkle even in the subdued sunlight, and then I'd be lost.

“Why do you feel stupid? What's wrong?”

I hated this. And it was all Amy's fault. OK, it's because of my parents, but ultimately Amy. If it hadn't been for her filling my mind with Luke, I would never have contemplated asking him out which means I would have never blurted out the idea in front of him, and then he would never have insisted in changing our status. We'd still just be friends and study partners and everything would be fine.

Instead, I am sitting next to Luke on a park bench at 6:45 in the morning and about to bum us out for the rest of the day. Or in my case—the rest of my life. OK, I guess I hadn't dealt with this situation right, either; so, I should take some of the blame, too.

“Come on, Andrea, tell me.” Luke's arm folded around my shoulders, and I didn't even panic. In fact, I really wished I could have cuddled into him, but I couldn't. Not now.

“You know you can tell me anything,” Luke said. “Someone teasing you about your Supes fetish?”

I loved the way he was trying to get me to smile. I only wished it could work and we could sit here and share about our favorite superhero films. Instead, it made me even sadder because we'd probably never get to talk like this again. I glanced up and a tear stuck to my eyelash. When I blinked, it trailed down to my mouth.

Then Luke gave me an encouraging smile like he'd be there for me no matter what problems came along. Sunlight found a way through the clouds to glint off his cocoa-colored eyes. How could I combat that? I had to just suck it up and tell him even if I never saw that smile or twinkle ever again.

“Luke, you're so great, and I hate myself for doing this.” I played with the edge of my jacket so I didn't have to look into his disappointed face. “It's homecoming. I can't go. I'm sorry, but I have to cancel.” I jumped to my feet. “I think maybe we rushed into the whole thing. I'm really sorry.” More wetness settled into my eyes.

“Why? I mean what happened? Can't we talk this out?”

“Sorry, no.” I couldn't face him anymore. I turned to take off back home.

Luke took hold of my hand and turned me back to him. “Andrea, I don't get you. I thought I did, but I guess I don't.” He searched my face, his dark eyes looking more sad than angry.

“I just can't go, OK. It has nothing to do with you.”

“Like I haven't heard that one before.” He let my hand drop and crossed his arms.

“Really, Luke, I'm so sorry.” Drops started falling down my face.

“Don't be sorry. Just tell me why. Why did you agree the other night if…you know what? Forget it. It's just the way my life has been going lately. I thought you were different from other girls, but I guess I was wrong about that, too.” His face curved into a cynical expression with his mouth twisted to the side and his eyes looking over my head and not into my eyes. “I'll see you later.” Leaving his coffee behind, he sank his hands into his pockets and left me standing there.

I was a terrible, awful person and deserved to have a piano or something fall on my head. I didn't deserve to breathe air. I should just hold my breath and fall down from asphyxiation.

That was when the rain started plummeting in huge drops.

Or maybe I'll just stand here and drown.

 

 

 

 

17

 

The thumping sound of steps moved across the stone flooring of the hallway and into the kitchen. It startled me, and I hopped, nearly dropping the fork in my hand which overflowed with cheesecake and blueberry topping. “Mom, you scared me.” I covered my heart with my free hand.

“I see you're enjoying the breakfast of champions. Want an egg sandwich or something to go with that?” She took the fork from my hand.

I slid down into the bar stool behind me and licked the last of the cream cheese from my lips. “It's the only thing that sounded good considering the circumstances.”

“You know you're seeing the oral hygienist this morning.”

“Don't worry, I'll brush before we go.” I slumped lower in the stool and pressed my cheek into the smooth granite countertop. I wanted to die.

“Andi, you look like the world is ending. I promise you are going to make it through this.”

“Through what?”

“Your teenage years,” she chuckled. “Listen, daughter, I'm sorry things got so out of hand between us yesterday, but I hope all of that is over and behind us now.”

“Over in more ways than one.”

“What's that supposed to mean, sweetie?” She stood beside me and rubbed my back.

I felt something well up in my chest. “Oh, Mom, it means that I had to tell Luke this morning that I couldn't go to homecoming.”

“Well, if he's the right guy, he'll understand.”

“Yeah, right. He'll understand. He'll probably never speak to me again.” I piled my arms together on the counter and stuck my face in the hole in between them. “Do you seriously believe that? That he'll understand?” My voice echoed from the cavernous opening.

“I know right now it seems like high school homecoming and a guy named Luke are the most important things in the world, but these things seem to work out if they're meant to be.”

I had no idea what she was talking about. Was she even speaking English? Tilting my head to the side, I watched my mother rinse my fork and place it into the dishwasher. “The thing is, Mother, I am in high school.” I raised my head completely and swiveled the stool her direction. “And for the first time in my life I had a date. A real date. Someone asked me instead of every other girl in the school to go out with him, and today I told him I had to back out. It feels like the end of the world because it is. My life is over. You better get ready to teach me yourself because I am never going back to school. Homeschooling is the only other option besides becoming a high school dropout.”

My mother tried to stifle her smile before moving across the kitchen to the refrigerator. She poured me a glass of milk and filled it with chocolate syrup. Then she produced a homemade cherry Danish and set both in front of me. “Cheer up. You might get into the performing arts school and you won't be forced to be a high school drop-out.” She hung up a dishtowel, and then started out of the room. “Eat up and be ready to leave in thirty minutes.”

Mom may not understand everything, but she sure knew the things that brought calm to my small little world. Homemade Danish definitely placed at the top of the list.

 

~*~

 

After getting into the car, I pulled out my phone and checked messages. Nothing from Luke. I turned it off and stuffed it back inside my backpack. “Oooh,” I winced, touching my sore jaw. I leaned back into the headrest. My teeth cleaning appointment had turned almost as torturous as watching Luke walk off on me this morning. They found two cavities on the right side, and I had to get fillings. Must be all the sweets, lately. “Mawm.” I tried to address my mother with cotton still stuffed in my mouth.

“Don't try to talk, Andrea. Just rest.” She put the car into drive and we pulled out.

“I dun't fee goo.”

Mom snickered at my limited ability at speech. “Are you trying to say, you don't feel well?” She reached over and touched my forehead. Her eyes turned concerned. “You do feel warm. Dr. Prosser said you might get a fever. Do you want me to take you home instead of to school?”

I nodded a little too vigorously as the movement ignited pain in my jaw once again. Actually, I didn't feel too bad. As soon as I got the cotton out of my mouth and the pain reliever kicked in, I'd probably be fine other than the way my stomach kept tying itself up into knots. I just couldn't go to school. I couldn't face Luke. I didn't want to see his beautiful eyes glowering at me.

As soon as we pulled into our driveway, I jumped out of the car and took off to my room. I needed time to think. Time to evaluate.

Mom stuck her head into my room an hour later to see if I needed anything before she took off for her monthly committee meeting at church. I was fine with that. I wanted to be alone, and for some reason I felt really tired. It must have been all the emotion and the drugs.

While feeling groggy, I flipped on the radio and turned to the station which played the new independent Christian stuff that Luke mentioned. I started to doze off when a song from
Requisition Believer
began playing. I recognized it, and then my eyelids felt too heavy, and I fell asleep listening to ”These Days”

Buzz. Buzz.
My phone sounded with a text message. I yawned and stretched before sitting up and checking out the time.
2:33.
Well, school's out. I picked up the phone.

How R U?
Amy texted.

Fine. Mouth hurts.

And Luke? He's totally not himself. Dion said you guys broke up. True?

Yes.

So soon? Why??

Long story.

I think it's a mistake.
Of course, she did. She who was the instigator behind my misery.

Tell it to my parents.

Well, find a way. Luke's miserable. TTYL

I lay back down on my pillow and cradled the phone in my hands like a precious thing. Was Luke really that miserable? Could he possibly be as miserable as I was? I barely had the will to get out of this bed. Of course, that might just be the pain reliever talking.

‘Find a way.'
Amy's words resonated in my head. She had no idea what she was asking because there was NO way. It was a lost cause.

Five minutes later my phone buzzed again. I sure wished it was Luke. Maybe I should have told him the whole truth, like why I had to call it off. Then at least he wouldn't hate me. But what kind a dork am I that I can't go to homecoming because my parents won't let me?

It was Angie this time. This should be good. She usually made me laugh.
Saw Steph with Luke @ lunch. Don't worry. Spilt soda down her shirt.

I held a hand to my mouth and giggled. It barely hurt. Leave it to Angie to make sure justice is dealt. Still, how dare Luke have lunch with Stephanie after everything that's gone on between us! Never mind that I was the one to break things off this morning. Yesterday, he gave me cake!

I sent a reply.
You didn't.

Totally did. ;) Accidentally, of course.

Of course.

CM Ltr.

Will do.

I laid the phone down again. Sounded like excitement reigned supreme at school today. It almost made me sad I'd missed the whole soda-down-the-shirt thing. That had to be priceless. The next minute my phone started up again. Boy, was I popular. Now it was Alisha. Were they all in this together, trying to bolster my spirits?

Hope yr feeling ok,
texted Alisha.

Getting there
, I replied
.

What happened w/Luke

He & I weren't meant to be.

You sure. I think Luke misses you. Call him.

I don't think it's a good idea.

Ok, but if I were U I'd call.