Artificial Love (The Goodbye Trilogy #2) (19 page)

Sometimes I did dream.  One day or just once – for the sake of my dwindling heart – our embrace would find recognition and we would shine into a spotlight of truth. My hug would miraculously display what she meant to me for so long and she could understand my intentions without reservation.

In the middle of my minds’ ramblings, Niall walked by us with a can of soda in his hand. I muttered a quick hello to him. When his eyes found mine he smirked at me. Kids were so fucking intuitive. The kid knew – he had to. By now he was probably thinking that I was a dumb ass for holding out hope for so long.

“Missed you, friend,” I murmured in her ear. I pulled back after my allotted ten second count. I noticed Nick eyeing me or should I say eying the placement of my hands. He had every right to. The guy wasn’t a dumb ass like me and he was extremely confident to know that she was his. He knew all men gravitated to Lizzie. She was her own force of nature.

I did have one leg up on all those other ass hats. Lizzie thought of me as someone so special that she made extra time and displays of affection for me. Nick was just as baffled as I was when it came to where that line was drawn.

“What are the kids up to during this rager?” I bit my lower lip in an effort not to get worked up. It wasn’t like I sported a boner when she was around – well,
not anymore
. My dream of Sean and Lizzie as a couple was way beyond sexual. My heart was full of her at the moment and it was the kids that could pull me back into friend zone reality.  Lizzie was untouchable. I mentally bitch slapped myself again for not pouncing on a relationship with her during her pregnancy or right after Niall was born. I would have taken anything. I would have licked and sniffed up every scrap of whatever love she would have thrown at the ground.

“So that’s it? No shooting the shit with me? Just where are the kids?” She was pretending to be annoyed. I looked at her again and blinked - hard.

No. Lizzie
was
annoyed.
Interesting
. Normally, she was cool with me just being on the sidelines, in her line of vision – a security blanket guard of some kind.

Had I been a shitty friend to her during the process of trying to keep my wounded heart at bay? She
did
want to spend time with me but it was a double edged sword for me, and how could I explain that to her?

Really, this shit was getting old. She didn’t know that if I had to train my eyes on just her face, while she wore that fucking incredible, lavender, hippy dress with beads and beautiful love expressed in her being, I would drown.

This was why I made it a point to stay away. I followed her band on the road sometimes. I would always support and encourage the music and Conner’s legacy. She wasn’t a mother and a wife on stage. She was Lizzie. Fun, flirty, and free. This woman in front of me was two of the three. Free Lizzie was gone and that made me want to sob like a big baby. I had lost her long ago, yes – but it didn’t hurt any less every time I saw her and the life she was living without me.

“Aw, Liz. You know I adore you, but you were the one that said Niall was looking for me when you called on the phone begging me to get my ass to Boston. I want to see him, too. I have missed both you and the kids,” I volleyed her words back at her, knowing full well that I didn’t say that I missed Nick.

Lizzie scrunched up her freckled nose and pouted. That had alleviated her previous reaction some and my stomach tensed up at having to be on my game tonight. I was getting weird vibes from her and the energy between us was different.

“Fine,” she sighed loudly.

Nick came up next to Lizzie, threw his arm around her shoulder, and held out his hand.
Previous noticed uneasy energy went back to a normal balance.
Nick Sawyer comes in to save the day –
yet
again.

“Nice to see you, Sean. Last time was in Vegas, right?” Nick was a good guy – I guess. He did care about her and by proxy – me. He made sure I always had a full ride to every show that Lizzie wanted me to attend. He referred people to me for ink and he looked at Lizzie the way I would if I were allowed.

I shook his hand and grinned broadly. “Yep. Vegas.”

That was all I had to say and the three of us were laughing so hard my stomach started to ache. Lizzie held up her hands.

“All I am saying is that I did not put the fire rocket up that donkey’s ass.” She made a twirling motion with her index finger and then rolled her eyes. I remembered something about that moment but to be honest, the Las Vegas trip was a blur, as they should always be.

“Sure you didn’t, baby,” Nick kissed her head as he continued to laugh. “Ten thousand dollars later...”

I sputtered on my saliva. Ten grand? Jesus, the guy had piles of cash and didn’t think twice about throwing that number out there. Crazy thing is he wasn’t trying to impress anyone. It was just the way he was. Perhaps it was his elite upbringing, but he almost thought of it as a joke. A joke that Lizzie and I had talked about before and concluded we would never attempt to understand the wealthy. Except now Lizzie
was
a part of the wealthy. I looked at her again and instantly knew she had gotten her purple, hippy dress at a thrift store. It was not posh classified.

“That…that was something,” I smiled as I crossed my arms across my chest. Whether I was talking about her good, old humble roots or the fact that she had managed to take the stage at an animal themed, burlesque revue show on the Strip, I wasn’t sure. Both Nick and Lizzie looked over and gave me shit eating grins. I was missing something but I didn’t care. I knew that even in my absolute drunken state, my feelings for Lizzie were so deep down locked up that even alcohol wouldn’t make me spill my guts. I probably dropped my pants, paraded around in my briefs, and called myself the tattoo king.

Whatever. It wouldn’t be the last time.

It was clearly time to say hello to Niall and get the fuck out of this freaking anniversary party celebration hell.

To read more about Sean and Aoife’s love story.

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