Athica Lane: The Carpino Series (29 page)

He moves faster and with his thumb working me, it doesn’t take long.  I come hard.  I exhale and let it wrack my body.  It’s been so long.  I haven’t touched myself since we’ve been apart.

His mouth lands on mine, drinking my moans and he really starts to move.  I wrap my legs around him to hang on and he slams into me faster, harder than ever.   I get to hear Cam breathe, groan and even pant.  I never knew how much I missed those sounds.  I arch my back pushing up as he grinds down, and I feel it, loving being connected to him after so long.  He finally presses me hard into the floor where he finds his release.

The next thing I know, Cam gives me his weight, his forehead resting on the carpet beside my head.  I feel the dampness on his back and as I breathe deep, I smell something I never thought to miss.  Perspiration and sex.  The smell us mixed together is so heady, it overwhelms me.  All my senses engulf me as I lay here, staring up at the ceiling of my niece’s pink nursery.  Him, me, us. 

Us?

That’s when it starts to crawl over me.  And as the moments tick by and I’m surrounded by him, inside and out, the haze starts to evaporate.

“Cam?” I quietly call for him.

He pulls out a bit and presses back in before tightening his arms.  He hums, “Hmm?”

“What just happened?” I ask, my body coming down and my head clearing as to what took place, but not knowing what it means.

He’s still breathing hard and when he turns my head to him, he doesn’t answer, he kisses me.  This isn’t a soft, after-sex-kiss.  This is an I’ve-just-returned-from-war-and-I-want-to-ravish-you kiss.  I’ve only been with Cam, but I do know this is not normal.

But like every rollercoaster, the ride finally comes to a halt and my brain instantly becomes alert.  I pull back violently, “Oh shit!  You didn’t use a condom.”

He looks down and frowns, “I guess not.”

“I never started birth control,” I panic and try to push him off me. 

I realize I just had sex, unprotected sex, with the man I fell hard for.  Okay, I’ll even admit it, I love him.  Not only that, but I let it happen in my niece’s nursery during a Star Wars party with a million little kids, their parents and all my family outside.  I even let it happen after he punched a hole in a pink wall because he was in a jealous rage thinking I was with someone I’m not, even though he broke up with me.  Now I’m lying here with my shirt off, my bra pulled down exposing one breast with my shorts and panties tangled around my flip-flop.  And he’s on top of me, inside me with no condom, skin to skin, as bare as my ass is on this nursery floor. 

Oh shit, no wonder it felt so good.

“Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit.  Why did I let this happen?  I need to leave,” I keep pushing on him to move.

“Settle down,” he says, pressing his cock into me again.

“Stop doing that!” I yell.

He brings his hand up to the side of my panicked face and says calmly, “Baby, settle.  I didn’t know you didn’t start your pill.  Honestly, I didn’t think twice.  We were both caught up in the moment.”

“Why would I start birth control—you broke up with me!” I keep yelling.

He narrows his eyes and I feel him give me more of his weight when he says seriously, “We’re gonna talk about that, but I’ve got to get you home first.  Now, are you gonna calm down?”

“I’m not going anywhere with you,” I start.  “And would you get off of me?  And
out
of me?  I’m going back to the party.  The Vader Veggies have got to be running low by now.  And it’s about time for the Millennium Falcon cake.”

“I’m taking you home,” he frowns.  “Now.”

“Just get off,” I start hitting his shoulders.  “Get off, get off!”

“Baby, I’m not moving until you promise to come home with me.  I don’t give a shit about veggies or a cake.”

I realize he’s serious.  He could lay here on me all night and we’d traumatize little Isabella when they come to put her to bed, so I lie, “Fine, whatever.  Just get off me.”

He tips his head, like he knows I’m lying and leans in to kiss me.  This kiss is his soft, after-sex-kiss that I’ve missed.  I’ve missed it so much I almost forget he’s buried inside me without a condom, not that the damage hasn’t already been done, but still. 

He finishes his kiss and swipes my bottom lip with his tongue.  When he pulls his head back enough to see me, he murmurs, “We’ll talk at home.”

Finally, he pulls out of me and before he stands up, he rights my bra.  Yanking me to my feet with my hands in his, I silently start to figure out the pretzel that is my panties and shorts.  By the time I stand, he’s pulling his shirt over his head and hands me mine. 

I barely get my shirt over my head when he grabs my hand tightly and moves to the door.  He pauses a nanosecond, looking at the hole in the wall he created with his fist, he shakes his head quickly before pulling me out of the room.  We move through the house, but don’t go to the back-yard.  He leads me to the front door where I try to turn my hand out of his.

He looks back frowning, grasping me tighter and says, “If I have to, I’ll pick you up and carry you kicking and screaming.  Or you can cooperate and walk quietly.  I know you don’t want to attract the attention of your family.  Either way, you’re coming home.  Now, what’ll it be?”

I give him a dirty look and move to the front door.  I know he’d pick me up in a heartbeat, so I’ll listen to what he has to say.  Then I’ll leave.

He doesn’t let go of my hand and as we make our way down the front walk toward his house.  Lanny walks around the corner with a bag of trash in his hands and stops when he sees us.  He frowns and then tips his head before raising his eyebrows, “You, uh, might want to straighten your hair.”

Shit. I didn’t even think about my hair and lift my hand to the back of my head.  My pony-tail is lopper-jawed, completely falling out on one side.  I yank the tie from my hair and decide to leave it at that.

“Send the kids home after the party,” Cam says to Lanny, then adds, “and we could use some time alone.  If anyone’s looking for us, it’d be good if you could keep quiet.”

My brother-in-law grins, holding up his hand he says, “I didn’t see you sneaking off from a Star Wars party.”

“I appreciate it,” Cam says and starts pulling me down the walk again.  He stops and quickly adds, “I’ll be over tomorrow to patch the hole.”

“Hole?” Lanny asks, confused.

“Yeah,” Cam confirms.  “You’ll see.  Don’t worry, though.  I’ll fix it tomorrow.”

Lanny looks at me and I give him a little shake of my head while shrugging my shoulders.  I’m not worried about Lanny—he’s easy going—but Sophia’s going to have a fit when she sees Isabella’s room.

Cam turns us for the last time from a perplexed Lanny and we move through the expanse to his house, while I pray no one sees us.  The party is going strong, kids screaming and laughing.  I hope they like the Millennium Falcon cake since I won’t be there to see them eat it. 

We finally get to Cam’s garage.  Or, I should say, Cam pulled me all the way to his garage.  Moving through the mudroom and into the kitchen, I realize I should have taken a moment to prepare myself for returning here during the walk over.  I’ve missed being with him in his house.  But nonetheless, laundry is piled a mile high and the kitchen’s a mess like it used to be.  I don’t understand what’s so hard about putting dishes in the dishwasher.

I hear a hiss and look down to see John Wayne.  I guess nothing’s changed, he still doesn’t like me.  But given my day, I really don’t care so I say, “I hate you, too.”

Cam finally lets me go and I immediately move through his house.  Half-way across the yard I felt it and I’ve never felt it because Cam’s always used a condom, but he’s leaking out of me.  I need a bathroom and fast.

“Where are you going?” he calls for me.

“Bathroom,” I yell back and barely hear him mutter an, “Oh,” before I slam the powder room door. 

After I’ve cleaned myself up, I take a breath.  I need a breath, or something.  Something to get me through whatever Cam has to say so I can leave. 

I move slower back to the kitchen to find him.  He’s standing in the middle of the room, his stance wide and his arms crossed, like he’s guarding the door in case I make a break for it. 

I stop about five feet from him.  He says nothing and doesn’t move a muscle, just stands there staring at me.  I’ve decided every time I try and break a moment of silence, it doesn’t end well.  If I have to stand here all day and endure the quiet, I will.

Finally, he uncrosses his arms and roughly rubs his face.  Seriously.  I have to roll my eyes.  Men can be so melodramatic in their own way.

He weirdly starts with, “I can’t eat out.”

I frown, not understanding, “Excuse me?”

“You’ve ruined eating at a restaurant for me.”

“Uh, sorry?” I offer.

“I look at a menu and all I can think about is how long it would take you to order.  Then I find myself picking something wondering if you’d like it or not.  Then I wonder what you would order, because if you were with me, I’d have to eat half of it whether I wanted it or not.  This pisses me off, so we’ve quit eating out,” he says.

I don’t know what to say to that.  That’s weird but a little sweet.

“Cara wants to cook.  I don’t cook.  Cara wants her toes painted and I really don’t fucking paint toes.  I got so tired of her asking, I took her somewhere to have that shit done,” he says, glaring at me. 

I feel my eyes widen as I think about Cam sitting in a nail salon waiting for Cara to have her toes done and ask, “You took Cara to get a pedicure?”

“I don’t know what it’s called, but they did her toes and she was thrilled,” he says leaning toward me, pissed-off and complaining about the experience.

“Wow,” I mutter.

“And Jordy?” he starts and I take a step back.  I miss them all, but the way Jordy looked at me in Texas last week cut deep.  He completely disregarded me at the party today.  “I can barely look at my son at times knowing I took you from him.  It kills me, Paige.  He’s pissed at you because he’s not old enough to get it, but I know it’s me who caused him that pain.”

I have nothing to say because I agree.

“But me?” he goes on, his voice dipping.  “I reach out for you.”

“Reach out for me?” I ask.

“Every night.  If I can get to sleep at all, I wake up and I’m reaching for you.  Looking for you in my sleep.  It doesn’t matter how hard I try not to, every fucking night I reach out for you,” he says angrily.

“Cam,” I whisper.  “I miss you, too.  But you can’t go into a jealous rage like you did today.  Nothing’s changed.”

“I changed my mind,” he blurts. 

I frown, “What?”

“How many?” he asks, crossing his arms.

“What are you…wait,” I say.  My voice rises when I realize what he’s talking about, “Are you negotiating with me?”

“Doesn’t matter,” he shakes his head.  “You can have whatever you want.”

“Are you serious?” I yell, exasperated with him. 

“Absolutely,” he says.

He’s out of his mind. 

“So you’re telling me that we’ve been apart for six weeks.  Six long, miserable weeks where I’ve shed too many tears, sucked my family dry of emotional support, not to mention slept on my sofa the entire time.  And today during a Star Wars party when you thought I was with another man, you decided you’d like to create some
humans
with me?  And not only that, but you don’t care how many?  Do I have this right?” I put my hands to my hips, asking for clarification.

He has the nerve to hold his arms out and be perplexed, “Why are you angry?  This is what you want.”

“I want you to want it, too!” I scream at the same time the doorbell rings.

“Damn it,” Cam rumbles, frustrated as he moves to the front door.  “I told him not to tell anyone where we were.”

I stay where I am because I’m too shocked by his “offer” to have as many kids as I want.  I mean really, we’re not talking about guinea pigs.  Does he think I’m going to want to have kids with someone who doesn’t want any more kids?

“Paige?” I hear her call my name and turn to see Tony and Leigh walk in.  Tony’s frowning and Leigh is red-faced.  Cam walks in behind them.  He doesn’t look angry anymore, he looks intense and without taking his eyes off me he comes straight to my side, pulling me to him.

I ignore Cam and ask Leigh, “Are you okay?  What’s wrong?”

Leigh starts to say something, but quickly shuts her mouth.  She looks at Tony and starts tearing up.  My brother pulls his wife to his side where she clings to him and he looks at Cam.  I feel his arm tighten around me before Tony settles his eyes on me softly, “It’s Rosa.  I’m sorry, Paige.”

Opening my eyes, I realize I’ve never experienced this sensation before.  Surprised by my environment, I find myself on my stomach in bed, instead of my sofa where I’ve been sleeping the last month and a half.  And even though I feel something warm and heavy on the small of my back, I pull myself up to my elbows and turn to look around. 

It feels like an hour, but really only takes an instant, before the events of last night flood my murky brain.

And there he is.  And here I am.  Back in his bed because he wouldn’t allow anything else. 

And Rosa’s gone. 

I don’t know if it’s because she’s only been in my life for six months, but even at her age, I never gave any thought about the moment I would lose her.  Maybe it’s because I never knew her as a younger, more vibrant, energetic woman.  I’ve only known the kind-hearted, bossy, wise, in-your-face, slow-moving eighty-five year old friend I’ve come to love. 

Last night, Tony and Leigh came to tell me how when they went to pick up Rosa for the party, she didn’t answer her door.  They became worried and Leigh called her son.  He came straight away and when they looked in on her, she was in her recliner with a book in her lap and a bowl of dark chocolate M&M’s sitting next to her on the end table.  Leigh said if it weren’t for her color, you would’ve thought she was napping. 

Leigh’s a nurse and nurses have to deal with death as an occupational hazard, but she was distraught by the loss of our friend, not at all prepared for what they found.  Tony was worried about Leigh being shaken, she’s just four months pregnant with their twins.  They left right after they explained that Rosa’s family will contact us with funeral arrangements, hoping they will know something today. 

Cam turned me in his arms and with my face in his big chest, I cried for the loss of my friend.  He moved me to his bedroom where he settled us in the middle of his big bed and held me close while I cried some more.  When I finally ran out of tears, he wrapped me up and pulled his fingers through my hair, not saying a word.

He only left me when he heard his kids come home and told me to stay put.  He shut me in his room and I’m glad he did.  I didn’t want Jordy and Cara to know I was here.  There’s no reason to confuse them.

When he came back to me, he told me I was staying and I told him I was going.  He told me there was no way he was letting me leave.  I got up to go and he put his hands to both sides of my face and as serious as shit, explained that if I left he’d drag me back.

I decided I didn’t have the energy to be dragged anywhere.  Again.  So I stayed. 

I fell asleep in Cam’s arms, wearing nothing but my panties and my Yoda t-shirt. 

Even though it seemed to take forever for reality to set in after a night of crazy sex with Cam in a nursery, followed by arguing and learning about the death of a dear friend, I feel surprisingly rested from the best night’s sleep I’ve had in a long time. Or more specifically, six weeks.  I know it’s because I’m in Cam’s bed with Cam, and that pisses me off.  I wish I could get a good night’s sleep on my own.

I turn to move out of the bed but am stopped, my Yoda t-shirt pulling me back.  When he gets me close enough, he rounds an arm around my tummy and pulls me to him.

“I need to go before the kids get up,” I say, feeling him at my back.

He nuzzles my hair with his face and asks in a deep sleepy voice, “Why?”

“They can’t see me here.  I don’t want to confuse them,” I answer.

“Why would you being here confuse them?” he asks as he pulls the hair away from my neck and puts his lips there.

“Stop,” I try and push away.

I feel him move before I’m rolled to my back where he comes over me, holding himself up on a forearm.  He frames one side of my face with his big hand and his blue eyes look down at me.  After dragging his eyes over me for many long moments, he rocks my world when he says, “You were upset last night learning about Rosa.  I hate that you lost your friend, but I hate worse you’re hurting from that loss.  I hate even worse that you’ve been hurting since I sent you away.  It took me too long to get my head straight and I can’t do anything about that now other than take care of you because you’re mine and that’s what I do.  You’re not going to hide from Jordy and Cara.  I told them last night you’re back.  They were upset to hear about Rosa, you took them over there enough and they liked her.  So, baby, you aren’t going anywhere besides a quick trip to your apartment, an errand I plan to take you on for you to get what you need.  But you’re here, you’re back, you’re home.  You are absolutely not leaving.”

I stare up at him frowning and breathe, “What?”

“You heard me.  You’re home,” he repeats, full of determination.

I exhale again, not knowing what to do or say.  The only thing I can think to say is, “You got your head together?”

“Yes,” he says.  “We went over that last night.”

“No,” I argue.  “We aren’t done talking.”

“We are.”

“No,” I say louder.  “We’re not.”

“Darlin’,” his voice comes firm.  “We are.  Now, we’ll get up.  We’ll all go to your apartment to get your stuff.  When we get back, you can do your getting ready thing and if you want, I’ll take you and the kids to visit Rosa’s family.  I don’t have any food in the house, I’m in the mood to eat out.  We’ll get dinner on the way home.”

With that, he leans down to kiss me, morning breath and all.  He climbs off and after grabbing a pair of shorts off the floor, he leaves the room.  I vaguely hear Cara jabbering away through the house as I stare at the ceiling.  

Damn him.  Sort of.

*****

“How long are we going to be here?” Jordy complains, dragging up the rear as we climb the stairs to my apartment. 

Of course the morning is going exactly the way Cam promised.  Even after six weeks apart, he still likes to get his way.  I had a cup of coffee, Cam took a quick shower and we were off.  But Jordy hasn’t said a word to me.  I honestly didn’t know an almost eight-year-old was able to make an adult feel so uncomfortable, but he’s doing a bang-up job of it.

I pull my keys out of my purse as we take the last step before turning the corner to my apartment.  But I’m stopped in my tracks when Cam grabs my arm and pulls me back.

“What are you doing?” I ask.

“Your door’s open,” he says in a low voice stepping in front of the kids and me.  “Move back.”

I look and see my door’s ajar.  I move farther away, pulling Jordy and Cara with me asking, “What are you doing?”

He pulls out his phone as he tries to peek in my window, “Get the kids back to the car.  I’m calling the police.”

“You’re not going in are you?” I exclaim.

With his phone to his ear, he narrows his eyes on me and says sarcastically, “Since I don’t have a gun on me and this isn’t a teen horror flick, no. I’m not going in, Paige.”

“Oh,” I say relieved, ignoring his attempt to mock me. 

I turn the kids and we make our way back down to the parking lot with Cam following.  When we get there, we wait and wait and wait some more.  No one comes out of my apartment, so I hope that means no one’s inside.  Before I met Cam, I’ve never once needed the police for anything.  This is getting old.

As we sit in his car waiting, Jordy and Cara ask about a million questions.  Cam, being the good dad that he is, finds ways to answer without scaring them.  As I listen to the exchange, I’m forced to lean my elbow on my car door window ledge, holding my forehead with my eyes closed.  Listening to such a conversation shouldn’t be torture, but for me this morning, it is. 

Finally, two police cruisers pull into the lot.  I mean, really. Did they come all the way from Iowa?  I’m sure it’s just because I was forced to sit and listen to Cam being a great dad, but seriously.  Time seems to stand still while you’re waiting for the police.

I move to open my door when I feel a hand on my shoulder.  When I look over, Cam demands, “Stay with the kids.  I’ll talk to them.”

“But it’s my apartment,” I argue.

“Baby,” he starts, not sweet or softly.  In fact, he sounds angry when he says, “I know it’s your apartment.  It’s an apartment I don’t like you in, especially now.  Because you’re mine, I’m gonna take care of this.  Now do not move and stay with the kids.”

“Seriously, what’s with the ‘I’m yours’ again?  I’m not anybody’s,” I exclaim, frowning.

“We don’t have time for this and I’m losing patience with this conversation.  Stay in the car,” he scowls and moves out before I can say another word. 

The second he slams the car door, Cara announces in a chipper voice, as if we couldn’t see it for ourselves, “Daddy’s grumpy.”

I sigh as I watch Cam have a quick conversation about
my
apartment with the two police officers and breathe, “So am I, sweet girl.”

I hear Cara giggle.  Jordy, of course, rocks his silent treatment like a superstar. 

The police move in and Cam stands in the parking lot with his arms crossed while he waits, staring up at my door.  Minutes later, a police officer peeks out and motions for Cam.  Cam turns to us and points at me, then his car quickly, demanding I stay put in Cam Sign Language. I roll my eyes as he jogs up to my apartment.  No way would I stay put if the kids weren’t here.  It’s his lucky day.

The time passes, and many minutes later, my phone rings.  I frown when I see it’s Cam and demand when answering, “What’s happening?”

“Was your bed made?” he demands back.

I feel my brows furrow, “What’s going on?  Is my laptop gone?”

“Your laptop’s fine, but Darlin’, you told me you’ve been sleeping on the sofa.  Was your bed made or not?” he stresses.

I sigh, grateful my laptop is still there and in one piece, “Yes it was made, but why does that matter?  Is anything else missing?”

I hear Cam sigh and he strangely softens his voice when he says, “Okay, baby.  I’ll be down soon.”

“Cam – ” I call for him, but he hangs up on me.

“Is your computer still there?” Jordy speaks his first words to me in six weeks.

This surprises me.  I turn and he looks mad, but I know him well enough to see the worry in his eyes.  I give him a small smile and try to make him feel better, “Yes sweetheart, it’s still there.  But stuff is stuff, it can all be replaced.  This isn’t a big deal, okay?”

He crosses his arms and after giving me a small nod, he goes back to his silent treatment.  I guess I’ll take it.  It’s better than nothing.

Time passes and more waiting ensues.  Two more cars arrive and when their passengers get out, they look official and I realize they must be police officers in plain clothes driving unmarked cars.  I watch them move up to my apartment door carrying tool box looking things. 

Enough is enough.  I pull up Cam’s number and press go, I need to know what in the hell is going on. 

“Hang tight, I’ll be down soon,” he answers.

“What’s happening?” I demand.  “Were those more police officers?”

“Yeah,” he says quietly and I hear him shuffle the phone.  He goes on in his sweet voice, “Stay with the kids for me.  It’ll only be a little bit longer.”

“I want to know – ” I huff before he interrupts me.

“Baby, please.  A few more minutes.”

It’s not his words but his tone that makes me frown.  I can tell he’s trying to be calming and reassuring, but there’s something laced in his voice making me uneasy.  Plus, I’m not sure if I’ve ever heard him use the word “please”.

“Cam?” I call for him.

“Soon,” he repeats and disconnects.

I look at my phone but I don’t have a chance to lament because Cara starts shooting questions like rapid fire.  I do my best to answer and realize Cam’s an even better dad than I thought because it’s not easy answering kid questions without letting on that I’m plain freaked.  Even more minutes go by and my freak out reaches higher levels when I see my dad drive up.  What in the hell is he doing here? 

He sees us when he gets out of his car and comes straight to me, looking angry.  Before I get a chance to demand anything, he starts, “Cam called and explained you two worked things out.  I want to know more about that from you later, but for now, we’ll get this taken care of.  I don’t want you to worry.”

“This is ridiculous,” I say, downright unnerved.  “That is my apartment and my stuff and I don’t even know what’s going on.  What are you doing here?”

“I’m going to stay with the police, Cam’s taking you back to his house.  You don’t need to be here,” he explains firmly.

“I do too need to be here,” I argue.  “That’s my home and I want to know what’s going on.”

“Cam will fill you in,” he explains.  “He’ll be down in a second.”

“Dad!” I yell out the window, but he’s on his way up to my apartment with everyone else. 

I’m absolutely fuming when two minutes later, Jude drives up.  What the hell?  Now I’m pissed and worried, especially when he gives me a low wave with a tight face, not stopping to offer me a word.  He jogs up the stairs to join the party.  I see he has his badge and gun clipped to his waist.  He might appear off duty in jeans and a t-shirt, but he still looks FBI official, and that freaks me out even more.