Attachment Strings (20 page)

“You need help putting these on?”

Sean nodded and rolled over onto his back. Stunned at how much control he did have over his body, I blinked, baffled. I never thought a disabled child could move around so much without help.

After wrestling the socks out of his hands, I turned them in the right direction and sat cross-legged next to his small feet. They were icy. “Geez, did you put your feet in the freezer?”

Sean laughed as he vigorously shook his head. I rubbed his left foot briskly before I put the sock on him. I repeated this with his right foot, all the while listening to Sean’s giggles.

“Ticklish much?” I asked.

Sean grinned and nodded. Not knowing what to do next, I looked at him for a hint. He babbled something, which I could by no means interpret.

“I’m sorry, I don’t understand anything you’re trying to tell me,” I confessed after a while of listening to him.

He hissed in obvious frustration then started shuffling away on his back. When he reached his nightstand, he pulled at something strange and almost threw it to me. Dumbfounded, I glanced at the thing in my hand. It was made of plastic, smelled faintly of perspiration, and had several Velcro closures.

I started when Alex said from the door frame, “It’s an orthosis. He wants you to put it on his left leg.”

“Oh, sure,” I replied. I turned the orthosis back and forth in my hands, determining where I had to put Sean’s foot and shin. “Do I put the orthosis over his pants?”

“No, he’d get pressure marks from it. You have to make sure the socks are pulled tight. Creases can cause really bad marks.”

“How about you show me how to do it?”

I held out the orthosis to Alex. His eyes narrowed as he crossed his arms on his chest. This gesture had become one of his trademarks.

In a low voice, Alex snarled, “It really won’t hurt you to touch him.”

My patience snapped. With utmost care, I laid down the orthosis, got up from the floor, and stalked over to Alex. Harshly, I said, “This is not about me being disgusted or anything like that. I just rubbed his naked feet and pulled on his socks. I don’t want to hurt him or be responsible for any kind of marks, because that would surely get your panties in a bunch far worse than just assuming I’m a jerk.”

I didn’t wait for a response. Pushing past him, I left him standing wide-eyed and red in the face. Flipping my cell phone open as I walked into Alex’s living room, I tried to breathe evenly. When it came to either calling Parker or throttling Alex, I took the first option. I didn’t necessarily think it was the wiser decision. I feared I’d lose my temper and everything would go to hell.

“Hey, Jeff! How did last night go? And no, still nothing from forensics,” Parker greeted me.

“Do you know how annoying it is when someone answers the phone and greets you immediately by your name?”

“Why? It spares you the few seconds of polite chitchat. You sound like a steam engine ready to blow. Didn’t get your rocks off last night?”

“Are you even allowed to talk like that? I thought David didn’t like it?” I snapped.

Parker chuckled. When he spoke again, he dropped his voice a bit. “Well, what good ole Davy doesn’t know won’t hurt him, right? Now tell me why I can hear you stewing.”

“I’m not stewing.”

“You’re not stewing. All right, I get it,” Parker’s voice dripped with sarcasm. “Mind telling me why you’re ready to kill the boy?”

“I do mind. When will forensics get to that letter?” I asked, my voice laced with frustration, which didn’t solely come from still not knowing whether we had a case or not.

“Fletcher assured me that he’d start working on it by nine this morning. Obviously, Williams had a word with him.” I heard Parker rustling some papers before he went on, “Mrs. Hanson, you remember her, right? The woman we suspected wanted to tell us something but was too scared with that tower of a husband hanging around? She left a message on my cell phone last night. She wants to talk to us again and suggested we come to her house around ten this morning. I’ll call her back in a few minutes to confirm the time. Oh, and Williams told me Chandler will be over to stay with Alex and Sean. He should be there in about half an hour, which leaves you with enough time to stop at a bakery before coming in.”

“Why the hell should I go to the bakery?”

“Because I want something highly sugared. I can’t function properly if my sugar level drops too low,” Parker muttered under his breath.

I laughed, picturing Parker’s sullen face. “You’ve got such a sweet tooth. Okay, give me a good reason why I should spend my money on a doughnut or cinnamon roll or whatever.”

“I’ll give you the money back!” he replied in a huff.

“Parker, come on, what’s the story behind this?”

“David believes in
healthy
breakfasts.” Parker emphasized the word “healthy” as if it was a disease.

“Which means what? You didn’t get any breakfast, or is he a fruit fiend?”

“No, actually I ate more for breakfast than I ever did in my entire life. He believes in eggs and bacon and toast. Oh, and milk! But no coffee and nothing with sugar. I can’t even think clearly right now!”

I couldn’t help it and laughed again. He sounded pathetic, incredibly pathetic. “Why didn’t you stop at the bakery?”

Parker sighed. “Because D drove me to the station and wouldn’t stop at the bakery.
Please
, Jeff! Think about it. You don’t want to work with me when I’m cranky all day, do you?”

“You’re pathetic, you know that?”

“Yes. Will you get me a cinnamon roll and a large cup of coffee? I’ll even pay for your breakfast, too,” he wheedled.

“Since you ask so nicely. I’ll head over to Starbucks.”

“Oh God,
thank you
!”

Grinning, I said, “See you in about an hour.”

“Let’s hope I’m not in a caffeine-and-sugar-deprived coma by then. Talk to you later!” he said, considerably more cheerful.

I shut my cell phone when Alex cleared his throat. I gritted my teeth, trying with all my power to hang on to the good mood Parker had put me in. Turning around, I glanced at a white-faced Alex with Sean in his arms. Softly, he asked, “Does that mean you’re not having breakfast with us?”

I wanted to hurl something at him but damn, did he look all vulnerable, standing there with his large, dark eyes shining in his pale face. “I’ll be buying breakfast for Parker. I don’t mind eating breakfast here if that’s still an option.”

“Well, I don’t have cinnamon rolls, but I can manage toast?”

“Toast is fine.”

Alex didn’t move and neither did I. He shifted Sean’s weight in his arms before he took a deep breath. “I’m sorry for snapping at you. I didn’t mean to be like that. It’s just,” he shrugged, “I guess I’m afraid.”

“Yeah, and it’s better to force the other person into doing what you fear he’ll do at some point in the future anyway than actually trying to trust and let things run their course.” I smiled to take the sting out of my words.

The sudden inhalation of breath and hastily averted eyes indicated that I hadn’t succeeded. In a bitter voice, Alex replied, “I guess I had that coming.”

I closed the distance, tugged at Sean’s body in Alex’s arms, and said, “Give him to me.”

Startled, he looked at me. “You don’t have to. I know you’re not comfortable with….”

He cringed when I glowered at him. Sean glanced from him to me before he held out his arms to me. Smiling, I gathered him in my arms. He felt weird, all bones and every muscle stiff and unyielding. I felt awkward and not at all confident, but Sean simply laid his head on my shoulder, looking for all the world as if he belonged there.

“You really don’t have to…,” Alex started again. I scowled at him. He tried again, “You don’t have to prove anything to me. I was just being stupid when we stood at the door. I like things done my way and people doing what I want them to do.”

I snorted. “I noticed, and just so you know, it’s not going to work with me.”

A wry smile appeared on his face. Waggling his finger at me, he said, “You can attempt to act in a caveman style all you want, but it’s not going to work.”

“Are you trying to convince yourself or me? Because if you’re trying to convince me, you’re wasting your time. Now what about breakfast?”

I grinned and pushed past a bewildered-looking Alex. Sean giggled, his breath tickled my throat, and I glanced down at him. Squinting at him, an epiphany hit me forcefully. I had started to
like
this strange little boy.

I carried Sean into the kitchen with Alex trailing behind us. Settling him into his wheelchair, I asked, “Do I have to strap him into this vehicle?”

“It’s a wheelchair, and yes, you have to,” Alex answered, slightly exasperated.

“Are you going to show me or should I find out via trial and error?”

Alex flushed, then walked briskly over. “I apologized, what more do you want?”

Not taking the bait, I replied, “Show me how to strap him in.”

Alex swallowed, seemingly irritated by me not snapping back at him. Almost silently, he showed me which straps should be closed and how tightly I should fasten them. When Sean was ready, I pushed him closer to the table so he could reach everything he wanted. Alex handed me a bib while he went to a cupboard to retrieve a sippy cup, which he filled with juice and handed to Sean.

When he walked back to the counter to fill the coffee machine, I followed. On impulse, I encircled him from behind, my hands clasped in front of his stomach. He went rigid and ducked his head. I took the opportunity and nibbled at his exposed neck, sending shivers through him. “You’re stiff as a stick.”

“Why, thank you. I feel so much better now that you pointed out that I’m not up to your standards.”

I let out a long-drawn breath, clearly showing him how much I suffered and he was the reason for it. “Alex.”

“What?” he snapped back.

I’d had enough. I spun him around, put my hands around his face to hold it in place. He kept completely still when I asked, “What is this about?”

“I don’t know what you’re—”

“Alex!” I hollered.

He winced, threw a quick glance toward Sean, and whispered, “Hey, there’s a small kid in the room. You can’t yell like that and—”

I cut him off again. “What is this about? Are you having second thoughts? You never struck me as the tantrum-throwing guy.”

In stunned silence, I watched his eyes fill with tears and his lower lip begin to quiver. Oh shit! What had I done
now
? I really needed a guide for what to say in precarious situations, because I obviously lacked in that department.

“Alex?”

With his free hand, he rubbed his eyes. It didn’t seem to help a lot. Shaking his head free of my hands, he brought his arms up to lock them around my neck. Surprised by his strength, I staggered a step backwards before my arms tightened around his ribs. Mutedly, he confessed, “I don’t want you to go to work and leave us alone.”

“You won’t be alone. Officer Chandler will be here in a few minutes to look after you. Follow his instructions and nothing will happen.”

“This will sound really immature, but I don’t want him to look after us. He’s nice, he really is, but… I want
you
to be here.” He gave a derisive laugh before adding, “You must think I’m nuts.”

“No, I don’t. Actually hearing that makes me feel all big and stuff.”

This time Alex’s laughter sounded lighter. “That’s because you
are
big and stuff. I really like that about you. I’m shallow, huh?”

“Nothing wrong with that. Not everyone can be such deep water like me,” I quipped.

Alex loosened his grip on my neck and looked at me. It still surprised me that I didn’t have to look down at him. Somehow I’d always considered him as much smaller. I think the slenderness of his body misled me. That, in combination with the blond locks and large, dark eyes, hit every protective button I had. Even those I never knew I possessed.

“You’re not deep water,” Alex said dryly. “You’re more like a stallion, just plowing through situations without looking right or left.”

“I do look right
and
left. I’m a detective after all.”

“You know what I mean.”

“I guess. Chandler will look after you, there’s nothing to worry about. Parker and I will talk to someone and forensics should have results by noon. I’ll call you, all right?”

“Would you change your mind and stay with us if I begged?”

“Alex….” I trailed off.

He held onto my shoulders, his fingers digging deep into my muscles. His eyes searched my face and the distress shone so clearly in his features it hurt me to watch him.

“I could cry if that works?” he offered.

For a few seconds I thought he’d actually start crying. Horrified, I stared at him. I
would
stay. I’d do anything to be able to stay with him and Sean and he
knew
it. I watched him bite his lower lip when it suddenly occurred to me he was fighting hard to keep his face straight.

“Imp,” I growled.

Alex chuckled and Sean thumped his hands on the table, chirping and demanding his breakfast. Alex extricated himself from my embrace and went back to the task of making coffee.

“Just a second, baby,” he said, “Jeff and I had a serious adult conversation.”

I turned around when Sean snorted. Even I could understand that he said
no
. He grinned at both of us while he thumped his hands on the table again with obvious glee.

“Maybe I should help? Before Sean breaks the table in half?”

Sean giggled loudly as Alex pointed to the cupboards with the plates. I snatched a quick kiss before I walked over, then winked at Sean, which set another round of giggles off.

How
very
domestic.

We just sat at the table, Alex feeding Sean, when the doorbell rang simultaneously with my cell phone. Chandler called to inform me that he stood on the doorstep. Alex’s face fell before he visibly pulled himself together. Prior to opening the door for Chandler, I pressed a kiss on Alex’s forehead. He replied with a watery smile.

After exchanging a few pleasantries with Chandler, I prepared to leave the house. “I’ll call as soon as I have some news.”