Attachment Strings (16 page)

Parker’s hand shot out to grab my jacket sleeve. “Try being nice to the boy and he’ll be delighted to see you again. Remember he is
smitten
with you. No matter how hard he tries not to be.”

“I’m not comfortable around kids.”

“You better get used to it, don’t you think?”

Inwardly, I cursed Alex for having to care for Sean. The one time after years I fell for another guy and he had to come with an appendage. Even though I’d only used the word “appendage” in my mind, I felt embarrassed. What was wrong with me?

Parker eyed me with open curiosity. To thwart any more comments about Alex, Sean, and myself, I asked, “Why are you so mad at the mayor?”

His expression shuttered in an instant. I watched Parker bend the corner of a folder this way and that way, his whole concentration focused on it. When he lifted his head and looked at me, his face had a haunted expression. “Remember those five siblings I told you about?”

I nodded.

“Miller dated one of my sisters. He wasn’t mayor then, of course. He was my sister’s first man and promised her the world. She was only sixteen.” Parker’s voice got a bitter edge. “When he dumped her, she drifted away from our family. She’s been on drugs ever since.”

“I’m sorry,” I blurted, genuinely horrified.

“Yeah, me too.” He straightened up in his chair before he forced a small smile on his face. “Now go, fix things with your boy and accept that you if you want him, you’ll get the kid too.”

I cuffed Parker lightly on the head. “Yeah, and that’s going to work out well.”

Parker’s laugh followed me as I walked out of the bullpen. I grinned even though it was unwilling.

I
DROVE
by my own apartment, where I stuffed some essentials into a sports bag. Ignoring the tingling unease that seemed to wind its way up from the base of my spine to my head, I rushed back to the car. During the drive to Alex’s place, I became more and more on edge, as I still didn’t know what to say to him.

I parked on the side of the street opposite Alex’s building, close to the spot where I had seen the mysterious man standing last night. After throwing the bag over my shoulder, I strode over to the house and called Chandler’s cell.

“Hey Chandler, it’s me, Woods. I’m here to relieve you.”

“All right,” I heard him say shortly before the door opened.

I followed him inside to the living room, where Alex lay sprawled on the floor next to Sean, blowing soap bubbles into the air. Sean chirped when he saw me. For some reason, he didn’t seem to be overly surprised to see me again. Neither did he seem to mind. I couldn’t say the same for Alex.

“What the fuck are
you
doing here again?”

“I’ll be here for the night to look after you two.”

Alex got to his feet. “No. Absolutely not.”

Chandler frowned while he rested his hand on Alex’s bare forearm in a calming gesture. Alex pulled his arm free abruptly. A look of curiosity replaced Chandler’s frown. He cast a quick glance toward me. I shrugged, indicating I had no clue to whatever was going on.

“Mr. Fisher, is there any problem with detective Woods staying with you?”

I gritted my teeth when Alex opened his mouth. He snapped it closed with an audible click. He held himself stiffly and his voice dripped ice as he replied, “No, there’s no problem other than that he’s probably tired and won’t be able to do a proper job of protecting us.”

I gaped.

Chandler fared way better than I. After blinking away his astonishment, he cleared his throat and used his most placating voice to tell Alex, “Mr. Fisher, be assured that Detective Woods wouldn’t be assigned to stay with you if he weren’t fit enough.”

“Oh, is that so.” Alex sneered.

He
sneered
, for Christ’s sake! I had the sudden urge to shake him, but instead of giving in, I beckoned Chandler to me with a curt nod. “Go home, Chandler, I’ll take it from here.”

Alex snorted and Chandler’s doubtful gaze jumped from Alex to me and back. Alex crossed his arms above his chest and jutted his chin defiantly. I barely suppressed rolling my eyes at this adolescent conduct. Putting all the calmness I could muster in my voice, I repeated to Chandler, “Go home. Everything is fine. By the way, how’s your wife doing? I heard this pregnancy is hard on her?”

Chandler’s interest in Alex crumbled immediately. With a weary sigh he ran his hands through his thin hair. “There was some bleeding and she had to be hospitalized for a week. She’s doing better now, but she’s easily exhausted.”

“I’m sure you’d like to get home to see and take care of your little daughter.”

Chandler nodded and I quietly ushered him out of the apartment. Not without noticing the furious glare Alex shot at me. I had manipulated Chandler into leaving, but so what? Although I hadn’t been overly subtle, I meant no threat to Alex. On the contrary, I came back to protect him and Sean, as well as try to salvage whatever there was left of our affair. The one I still didn’t know if I wanted to develop into something deeper or not.

I locked the door after I had assured Chandler that I had the situation under control. When I turned around I almost bumped straight into Alex. He stood there, hands on his hips, trying to glare a hole into me. I raised an eyebrow inquiringly, which resulted in him thumping his fists against my chest. Surprised, I gave a pained noise but didn’t defend myself.

When it became obvious that he wasn’t going to stop his attack, I pulled him flush against me. In panic, he tried to push his knee right into my crotch, but I blocked him just in time. I whirled him around and caught his wrists in my hands, crossing his arms above his chest with no leverage to free himself. I adjusted my stance and leaned my back against the door when Alex’s control flew right out of the window.

He snarled, twisted, and writhed but otherwise stayed eerily quiet. He didn’t even try speaking, just kept on trying to wrench free. Oddly calm and collected, I listened to his ragged breathing and kept on restraining his thrashing body.

Rage and frustration had erupted, right in my arms. It wasn’t directed solely at me, I was certain about that. Still, it had boiled over, and I was actually glad to be able to provide a safe space for Alex to let go.

It took several minutes for him to stop fighting. He slumped back against me and I rubbed my cheek against his, noticing the slight dampness of his skin. He drew in a shuddering breath as I pressed a chaste kiss on his jaw.

“I’m sorry,” I murmured.

“For what?”

“A lot of things.”

“And you think that’s going to appease me?” he gasped out.

I had nothing better to offer. Telling him that would probably get me in the doghouse again, so I settled on pressing a series of small kisses on every patch of his face I could reach. Alex chuckled as he ducked his head.

“Are you going to attack me if I let you go?”

Alex shook his head and muttered, “No, and I’m sorry too.”

I let go of his wrists but put my hands on his hips and turned him around. Alex darted a quick glance at me, then hurriedly closed the gap between us and rested his head on my shoulder. He slung his arms around my waist and squeezed tightly while I brought my own arms around his torso, sensing the slight, almost imperceptible tremors running through him. It struck me how well we fit together, how well he molded against me, and how much I craved to hold him close. Feeling my breathing turning irregular, I recognized the first signs of my imminent bolting. There were too many emotions, strong emotions, to be dealt with at once. I couldn’t deal, I just couldn’t.

A hesitant chirp from the living room rescued me from making a fool out of myself. I sighed in relief and heard Alex sighing as well. Whether
he
sighed in relief or annoyance I didn’t know. Alex loosened his embrace but I didn’t want to lose the connection we’d just built. I cut off his retreat by snatching his chin. I gentled my hold on his face, although I still forced him to look at me. I still had no clue what I wanted to say to him. Somehow he seemed to understand me anyway. He brought one hand up to cup my cheek, which caused my eyes to close for a split second. When I opened my eyes again, he looked at me with an intensity that scared me to no end.

“I’m not sure this is a good idea,” he said.

“Neither am I, but we’re only going to find out if we give it a try, right?” I sounded bold, confident to my own ears, though I absolutely didn’t feel that way. I could only hope Alex interpreted my comment positively.

“I don’t know if I can stand it when we find out it’s not going to work.”

My next words left my mouth without my permission. “We simply have to try our best so it won’t come to that.”

W
E
LOOKED
at each other, barely breathing. Neither of us moved. A second chirp, a lot less hesitant and accompanied by the almost familiar sound of dragging, interrupted our moment. I couldn’t stop a slight pout from forming on my face as I said mockingly, “He’s a real spoilsport.”

Alex’s body stiffened immediately and his eyes turned cold. He snatched away his hand, which had been cradling my cheek. I grabbed it and held on even as he tried to pull free. “I didn’t mean it in a bad way. I would have said that about anyone right now. If we were on our own I’d take you. Right here and now.”

“You’d take me?” Alex sputtered, though the corners of his mouth curved upwards.

I grinned. “I’d lift you up, push you against the wall, and fuck you senseless.”

My grin widened when an undignified noise left his mouth. I let him go as he turned around to flee in the direction of his little brother. I closed my eyes and took deep calming breaths while I waited for my erection to wane. What was it about him that drove me crazy? Other than the pretty face and great body, that is.

More importantly, why did I pursue him in earnest? It couldn’t be his appearance; I wasn’t
that
shallow. Also, there was still Sean in the equation. It didn’t add up to anything remotely sensible. Yet, here I was, completely out of my tree and scared of the things to come. I shook my head at the chaos in my mind, adjusted my semihard cock in my jeans, and followed Alex.

He sat on the sofa with Sean on his lap, talking to him in a voice too soft for me to understand. I battled with various emotions at once, seeing them together like this. Sean addressed me with an odd grunting noise. Alex smiled and patted a spot on the sofa next to them. “He wants you to sit with us. We’re going to watch a cartoon and then have dinner. Did you eat already or do you want us to feed you?”

His question brought up all kinds of weird images, including Alex feeding me like he did Sean. “Dinner sounds great to me.”

“All right.”

Alex asked Sean what he wanted to watch and zapped through the channels until he found the right program. We watched some mindless animated stuff, which I couldn’t wrap my mind around. Sean seemed to love it, though. His brother laughing and snickering brought a smile to Alex’s face.

Admittedly, I didn’t even try to concentrate on the TV, as I was too preoccupied with watching Alex and Sean. The boy leaned against Alex; his body seemed fairly relaxed and he appeared to be totally engrossed in the show. Alex rubbed circles on Sean’s belly with one hand while he used his other to smooth the boy’s hair or mop away trickles of saliva with the bandana.

Watching Alex clean Sean up in such a matter-of-fact way, as if it was natural and normal, made me feel… weird. I didn’t understand myself. Of course this was normalcy for Alex and Sean; why wouldn’t it be? I had a lot to learn, a lot of ingrained prejudices to overcome if I wanted a future with Alex.

I frowned. Here I was, contemplating a future with a guy who had to care for a
disabled
child. Well, not just
any
guy. This was the guy whose body molded perfectly against mine, who
keened
when brought to climax and who had wormed himself into my heart, skirting around all my barriers. I wanted him, no sense in denying this fact. Damn, did I want him!

If this translated into me having to change some opinions, so be it. I slid closer to Alex and Sean and carefully draped my arm around Alex’s shoulder. He looked at me in surprise, swallowed hard once, and was about to open his mouth when Sean lunged for my free hand. I froze and stared at the boy. He offered me a grimace, which probably should have been a smile, and grabbed again for my free hand. Bewildered, I gazed from him to Alex until Alex took pity on me and explained, “He, uh, wants you to scoot closer and, um, hold his hand.”

Alex’s cheeks glowed with two red spots and he clearly didn’t know where to look. Sean, on the other hand, kept his eyes trained on me. He clearly expected me to respect his wish and comply with it. I found myself staring at his little hand on top of mine. Cautiously, I engulfed his clenched hand in my own and frowned at the tension I discovered there. Sean chirped a high, happy-sounding chirp, after which he turned his attention back to the screen.

Alex shifted a bit so he could rest his head on my shoulder. He did it slowly, carefully, as if he didn’t want to startle me. I squeezed his shoulder and rubbed my cheek against his hair. Despite the novelty of this situation, I gradually relaxed. This didn’t feel bad, not even remotely close to bad.