Attachment Strings (18 page)

Alex obeyed without hesitation, though he eyed me curiously. I pulled a condom out of my breast pocket. Alex laughed. “Always prepared, huh?”

“Let’s just say my imagination is running a mile a minute since I told you what I wanted to do to you and you couldn’t hide your excitement about it.”

Alex ducked his head. “Shut up.”

“And why would I do that?” I asked while I opened the foil and rolled the condom over my cock.

“Because you’re making me uncomfortable and that’s just not a good premise for carnal activities.”

A laugh erupted from my mouth before I had time to think how it would affect Alex. He merely flashed me a lopsided grin as I said, “All right, I’ll shut up now. I wouldn’t want to spoil the fun in our carnal activities.”

Alex pulled me in for a kiss while he rubbed his ass along my cock. Sweat broke out on my forehead when I pulled his ass cheeks apart and pushed my cock into the crease. Alex moaned and shivered. Restlessly, he rutted his erection against my stomach, leaving a trail of precome on it.

“Hang on a second, you devil, I need something.”

“Oh God, what is it
now
? Is it always this hard to get you doing the deed? I don’t remember it being that difficult—or was that because of the time pressure in the hotel?” Alex complained.

I ordered him to hold on tightly again, which he, despite his bitching about the delay, did without hesitation. I pulled a small package of lube out my breast pocket and ripped it open. Before I could squeeze the contents into my palms, he said softly, “Let me?”

I supported him with one hand under his butt as he reached for the lube. The position was a bit awkward and put a strain on my back, but we managed. He reached and lathered my cock with the lube. After losing control over my mouth and gasping loudly, I bit my lip to prevent myself from yelling out in pleasure.

When he applied the rest of the lube around his anus, Alex sucked in a deep breath or two before moaning, “Jeff, please.”

I dropped the package of lube and brought my other hand under his backside too. I shoved him up higher as I bent his knees to his chest. “Since you’re such a polite guy, who am I to deny you your carnal desire?”

Alex chuckled, though his expression changed from cocky and teasing to somewhat more apprehensive and wary. Watching him swallowing heavily, I thought he even looked a bit scared. I positioned the head of my cock at his entrance but didn’t push inside. Gently, I asked, “Hey, are you okay?”

“Sure,” Alex replied. His answer came too swiftly. No way did he speak the truth.

I raised an eyebrow at him while I very, very slowly pushed the engorged head into his body. His muscles spasmed around my cock, trying to accommodate the sudden thickness within him. I held myself very still and didn’t move an inch further. “Alex.”

He tried to ignore me and get things going by pushing down on me but soon found out he had no leverage at all. A distressed whimper escaped his mouth and finally his eyes met mine.

“Alex,” I repeated simply.

“I… I can’t move,” he whispered.

“I know.”

Alex swallowed several times while shivers ran through him. “I’m scared.”

I nodded to show him I heard and understood him. He was at my mercy without any control of his body, and the worst part was admitting to himself how much he liked it. His emotions showed plainly on his face but especially in his eyes. “It’s going to be okay, I got you.”

Both of us recognized the double meaning of our conversation. Yet, it was easier this way. Both of us could pretend that we’d just talked about sex, about him being restrained.

“Relax,” I told him.

Alex eyed me doubtfully for some seconds. I looked back at him, my own gaze steady and confident. I felt more self-assured now. I did have him; I would be there for him in the future, no matter how scary it seemed.

I kissed a line from his forehead along his cheekbone and nose until I reached his mouth. He was giggling by the time I arrived at my goal and the stiffness of his muscles receded. I had been waiting for this sign. Slowly but without hesitation, I slid into him until I was fully sheathed. The tightness around me almost caused my brain to short-circuit and for a moment I could only remember to keep on breathing.

“You’re so big,” I heard Alex saying in awe.

I gave his butt a firm tap. “You’re only discovering this
now
?”

Alex clamped his muscles around my cock as he laughed. I couldn’t stop some obscenities from spilling out of my mouth as my cock twitched and demanded that I move, instantly.

“Didn’t want to feed your ego,” Alex replied while he squeezed around me again.

“You’re doing this on purpose,” I accused him. I could barely talk anymore.

“Of course. That’s the only thing I
can
do right now, and since you don’t seem to be inclined to do more than stand around and—”

Angling my hips slightly differently, I pressed right on his sweet spot. It cut him off effectively. As his fingers dug deeper into my shoulders, I grinned. I began gliding in and out of him in long, steady strokes. They drove me deep inside him, ripping yelps from him each time.

“That better?” I asked after some minutes of leisurely fucking.

“I don’t…. Yes, uh, I’m not sure.”

I stopped my movements even though the effort it cost me was incredible. My body screamed at me to move, to pound into Alex regardless of how he felt. Sweat ran down my back from the sheer exertion of holding him and keeping us united. “What do you mean?”

Alex didn’t respond verbally, just gasped.

“Come on, imp, don’t play me.”

“I’m not playing you, you jerk.”

I raised an eyebrow at his outburst. “What is it then? Am I hurting you?”

“No, no you’re not. It’s just… damn, Jeff, you’re so strong and big and… and I don’t know what to feel,” he trailed off.

“Want me to stop so you can sort out your feelings?”

Alex blinked at me, and a moment later he burst into laughter. “Hell, no! Get going, I swear I’ll shut up now and sort out my feelings later.”

“There’s still a God,” I breathed. Without further ado, I slid out of him until only the head remained inside him then pushed all the way back in.

“Faster.”

He didn’t need to tell me that twice. Instead of those long, slow strokes from before, I plunged into him in short, powerful thrusts. I lost myself in the rhythm of the sharp plunges, though I was still highly aware of the keening noises Alex made. When my balls tightened almost painfully, I nipped at his earlobe. In a hoarse whisper, I told him, “Come with me.”

Alex nodded, sought out my mouth with his, and pushed his agile tongue inside. I moaned into his mouth while I kept up with the frenzied movements of my hips. Or maybe my hips moved of their own accord, I can’t remember.

I do remember that Alex unsealed our lips, threw back his head so it thumped against the wall behind him, and screamed when his climax hit him. The sudden wetness between our bellies and the spasming of his tight channel around me brought me over the edge as well. I came in long spurts, the intensity of my orgasm taking me completely by surprise.

It took us both some time to calm down and breathe evenly again. The occasional shudder still ran through Alex while my whole body trembled. He cringed when my soft cock slipped out of him. “You’re okay?”

“Yeah, more than okay. That was awesome.”

“Could have fooled me with the way you were screaming,” I teased him gently.

As expected, he blushed. “It was quite intense. How about you let me down now. I don’t want you to let me fall.”

I rolled my eyes. “Your skill at afterglow conversation is seriously lacking. Fear not, I’m sure I’ll be able to teach you the proper etiquette in time.”

Alex groaned and rubbed his thighs. I straightened up and shook out my arms, trying to loosen the cramps there.

“Shit, my muscles are all cramped.”

“Here, let me help you out,” I said.

I lowered myself, then grabbed a very surprised Alex and threw him over my shoulder.

“Hey!” he yelped. “Where are we going?”

“Making a quick beeline to the bathroom, and after we’re done there, we’ll squeeze ourselves into that tiny bed of yours.”

I stood him on his feet in the bathroom and filled the sink with warm water. After swiping a washcloth through the water, I started cleaning him up. For a moment he seemed to be dazed or at least utterly stunned by my actions. He allowed me to do as I pleased, though he sucked in a deep breath when I cleaned between his ass cheeks. I bit my tongue to not burst out laughing at his squirming. After clearing his throat, he said, “Um, you’re making yourself very comfortable there, huh?”

“Yes. Do you have a problem with that?”

“No. I’m just surprised and, um, I am actually capable of cleaning up myself.”

“I’ve no doubt about that.”

He gave a rather helpless laugh at my comment. “And I guess you’re not even considering my polite hint to
back off
?”

“I need broader hints than that,” I replied as I dried him with a towel. After I was finished with him, I briskly went to work on myself.

Alex reached out for the washcloth to reciprocate the favor, but I would have none of it. He stayed with me, a curious and somewhat longing look on his face. When I finished, I asked, “Do you want to
walk
to your bedroom?”

My frank question caught him off guard if his stammered reply was anything to go by. “I, uh, of course.”

I grinned at him while I lifted him up. “Wrong answer.”

Alex gave a little embarrassed laugh when I carried him over to his bedroom, where I tucked him into bed. Spooning behind him, I felt content and at ease. I vowed to myself to hold onto that feeling and that man.

Monday, April 12, 2010

T
HE
night hadn’t been very restorative again, for which I blamed Alex’s small bed. We had to lie on our sides with me spooning Alex very closely, and each time one of us moved the other one startled awake.

We were both awake for a while but neither of us spoke. Alex pulled my hand close to his mouth and dropped light kisses on my knuckles. I smiled and reciprocated by roaming my hand from his shoulder to his butt and back up again. Soon a contented sigh escaped Alex as he pressed his butt against my very interested cock.

“Is there ever a time when you’re not ready to go?”

“Are you complaining?” I asked.

Alex shrugged. “Not really. I’m just not in the mood right now.”

He tried to extricate himself from my embrace and I was bound to let him go until I spotted the flush that spread downwards from his neck. “Alex, we don’t have to do anything, you know that.”

“I don’t know
shit
,” he replied angrily.

He jerked out of my arms and started to climb over me. I grabbed him by his hips, which he didn’t like one single bit. A harsh slap on my forearm was accompanied by a hissed, “Let go!”

“I don’t think so.”

I yanked hard. Losing his balance, he tumbled on top of me, only to struggle up immediately. I cradled the back of his head in one hand and put my other hand on his butt. “Stop it. Alex, stop. It’s going to be okay.”

“You keep saying that but you don’t know. I don’t want to be just a fuck buddy to you, and that’s all I’ll ever be.”

I breathed in through tightly clenched teeth, silently vowing not to blow up spectacularly. I told myself he had good reason to be scared and try to keep some distance between us. I hadn’t given him much reason to trust me so far. “Does that mean you’re not giving me a fair chance?”

“You
never
listen! You just rush over and take what you want. Then you get all confused and run away. You don’t know what you want, not at all!”

“But you do?” I snarled back. “I remember our very first conversation where you told me that you’re only out for a quick romp in the sheets.”

Alex had the good grace to look sheepish. I put more pressure on his head and butt and after a few more seconds he relented. He relaxed on top of me, his head resting just beneath my chin. Carding my fingers through his thick blond hair, I felt his heart beating a frantic rhythm in his ribcage.

Gathering my thoughts, I said slowly, “Look, I can’t promise you a happy-ever-after, but I do promise to be honest with you.”

“What about Sean?”

“What about him?” I countered, stalling for time.

Alex propped his head on his steepled hands and gazed at me thoughtfully. “Is that your understanding of honesty?”

I grimaced. “Honestly? I don’t know how I feel about Sean and his… his disability. Prior to this case, I never dealt with disabled people. Look, I know you’ll be bothered by it, but this isn’t easy for me. I never know how to feel about Sean or how to act around him. It confuses the hell out of me.”

“But you’ll give it a try getting to know him? That’s all I’m asking, Jeff. He’s my little brother and I will take care of him as well as I possibly can. It doesn’t make serious dating an opportunity I’ve had all that often so far.” Alex murmured the last part.