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HERE’S AN ABSOLUTELY
endless list of baby gear available out there, so you will need to spend some time figuring out what will be useful for you and what’s just superfluous. I recommend grilling any and all parents you know to figure out what they couldn’t live without and what they never bothered to take out of its box—and keep in mind that it’s going to vary so much, kid to kid. Here are my must-haves (in addition to everything covered in the “
Safer Swaps
” chart).

Two or three sheets (so you can always have a clean one while you’re doing laundry), preferably organic cotton with no synthetic finishes or flame retardants. (I don’t see a need for bumpers, but they should also be flame retardant free if you plan to use them.)

Babies do like to be bundled pretty tightly for the first few months. (Some pediatricians call this the “fourth trimester.”) Again, organic cotton if you can; I love the pretty, lightweight organic and bamboo muslin blankets by Aden + Anais.

Because babies’ diapers will leak.

I’m obsessed with these—they’re so much less stressful than trying to cover your baby with a blanket and worrying she’ll get it smushed on her face (Honor was an expert at freaking me out that way!), and your baby still stays warm and cozy at night. Halo’s are PFC-free.

Keep it simple—(organic) cotton onesies, leggings, pajamas, socks, and some booties. Dwell Baby has an adorable organic layette line.

Organic cotton or other nontoxic options. The ones with hoods are particularly helpful. You can’t have too many washcloths.

I prefer the kind that you can use right in your regular tub. And don’t forget cups for rinsing, plus a little wooden stool so you can sit next to the tub and save your knees!

Keep in mind that some foam-padded high chairs may contain polyurethane foam, which off-gasses nastiness. We use an Argington high chair made with sustainable wood and nontoxic finishes; you can find lots of beautiful, durable wooden high chairs with natural cushions in stores now. I love ours because it can also be lowered and pulled up to the table as a toddler grows. I also like bumper seats that can snap into a dining room chair—just check that kids are strapped in securely.

You can’t leave the hospital without one. Fortunately, the Consumer Product Safety Commission regulates car seats pretty tightly for general safety. But lots of the plastic models leach gross chemicals like chlorine and lead. Visit
HealthyCar.org
for a list of the best and worst seats. No matter which model you buy, air it out for a few days on your back porch or other covered outdoor space before you stick it in the car. We used YouTube videos to figure out how to install ours—lifesaver!

I do swear by these because they are awesome baby entertainers whenever you need to do something requiring two hands, like taking a shower. But most options on the market use a lot of molded plastic, which can release fumes . . . and offer a lot of plastic parts for your baby to chew on. So maybe consider a gently used model or the most nontoxic option within your budget? You’ll bring fewer fumes into your house that way, and you can pay it forward when you’re done by reselling or donating it.

You have to experiment here to figure out what works for you and your baby; most slings hurt my shoulders too badly to use, so I stuck with the tried-and-true Ergo-baby Organic Carrier most of the time. (I have to say having your little one snuggled on you is the best feeling ever.) If you do want to try a sling or carrier, start using it right away so your baby will get used to falling asleep in there. Then you’re home free—you can go grocery shopping or whatever because you know kiddo is just chilling.

There are tons of options in the marketplace—the best tip I got was to watch online videos of real parent reviews. Consider your needs, like whether you will primarily stroll in your neighborhood, use a car whenever you take your stroller, or jog with your baby a lot. If you are in an urban environment and rely on public transportation, you might want one that is lightweight and easily collapsible. Strollers can get expensive, so this is definitely a category to try to go gently used if you can—either via Freecycle or Craigslist or from a mom friend whose kids are outgrowing theirs!

L
ET ME TELL YOU RIGHT NOW:
The first few weeks of having your new baby home are the most surreal of your life. It’s mind-boggling to have this person in the world at all—and you’re totally responsible for keeping her alive, plus you are recovering from the birth while feeling super hormonal and sleep deprived. I never understood, until we went through it with Honor, that it was actually possible to feel frustrated, delighted, overwhelmed, exhausted, and crazy in love with one tiny person all at the same time—it’s this constant state of butterflies-in-your-stomach joy that I could never have grasped before.

After the first three weeks or so, you turn a corner and start figuring out how to function like a person again. But it never gets totally seamless, especially if you go back to work. Trying to work, be a mom and wife, and do it all perfectly with a smile is tough as heck. In fact, it’s impossible. As much as I try to prepare and have everything planned, there are still—yes, almost five years in, this is still happening!—moments where I didn’t pack enough outfits, toys, snacks, or pacifiers, to avoid a meltdown. And the baby vomits, poops, pees (or some combination), and I only have one diaper left and no extra outfit for her, forget about me. No matter how prepared we are as moms, I’ve found that we’re always going to make mistakes. And most crushingly, for whatever reason, I always feel like I should be doing more. I think we all need to cut ourselves some slack.