Back to Reality (11 page)

Mrs. Mills turned and smiled broadly. “Anthony! Don’t you look handsome!” Mrs. Mills voice carried through the empty lobby.
I looked at the attractive man in the black suit and pink and silver tie.  He seemed just as awestruck with the interior of the building as I was.

“Mrs. Mills, you look lovely,” Anthony said as he kissed her cheek. “Mr. Mills, it’s good to see you.” He shook his hand and the two men exchanged polite smiles.  And then he turned to me. “And you must be Sahara.
I’m Anthony Diaz. I’ve heard wonderful things about you.  It’s good to finally meet Emily’s best friend.”

I smiled brightly at Anthony’s smooth entrance. Shaking his hand, I responded, “
I am Sahara. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Anthony. I’ve too heard many great things about you.” His light brown face reddened at the compliment. He was a tall, good looking man with short dark hair and dark brown eyes.  His long lashes were enviable and made his eyes look almost hypnotic.  His teeth were bright white and he had an easy smile.

The elevator dinged and we all turned to look as Emily exited the elevator.  I glanced over at Anthony and the look
on his face made me sigh audibly.  The look of love and adoration was so blatantly clear on his face and when she made eye contact with him, it was apparent she felt the same way.  After quickly greeting her parents, Emily threw her arms around Anthony.  Her dress and his tie matched perfectly and they looked exquisite together. 

At seven o’clock, Emily opened the doors and couples started trickling in. Emily was busy, but she looked unbelievably happy and in her element. 
Each guest was given a complimentary flute of champagne as they made their way into the auditorium.  About 100 guest showed up and at 7:25pm, the lights flickered to alert us that the show was about to start.

I politely spoke with a few people Mr. and Mrs. Mills introduced me to; however, I didn’t engage much. 
I sat at the end of the back row and kept to myself mostly.  Mr. and Mrs. Mills wanted to be up close so they sat in the front.  Anthony, being the doting boyfriend that he was, went backstage with Emily as she was too nervous to sit idly and watch. I tried not to think about it too much, but I noticed Emanuel was not there.
I hope he shows up tonight,
I thought as the lights dimmed and the crowd quieted down.

Three dance ensembles from Delta Southern University performed riveting pieces. The first group of lad
ies performed a jazz number.  It was beautiful and the crowd responded well to it.  The second group was a large ensemble of men and women who performed a classical ballet number piece.  The third group was a man and a woman who performed a mix of that seemed to incorporate hip hop and contemporary modern dance. All three University groups were phenomenal and the audience was gave them a standing ovation when they came out to take their bow.

Once they left the s
tage, the auditorium lights slowly dimmed. Only a sliver of light peeked through the bottom of the double doors.  The tiny red lights that lined the walkway from the doors of the auditorium to the front row gave off a hazy red glow. The shock of sudden darkness forced everyone into complete silence.  I wasn’t nervous about the blackout, but the hairs on the back of my neck stood up.  I heard a faint hiss and I could vaguely make out the smell of vanilla in the air.  On stage, a red spotlight clicked on and the scented fog created a sexy atmosphere. A woman slowly slinked onstage wearing a black leotard and tights. She stood center stage and I glanced at the other spectators who were similarly fixated on the woman awaiting her next move. After a minute, ‘Any Time, Any Place’ started playing.

The sexually charged
song throbbed through the air as she started dancing.  It was a strip tease without the stripping; it was a tango without a partner.  It was already beautiful and sexy and the vocals of the song hadn’t even started yet.  The juxtaposition between the dancer’s demure attire mixed with her burlesque dancing was mesmerizing.  A chill ran through me suddenly.
She’s good, but not give me chills good,
I thought perplexed as I rubbed my arms.  Glancing over my shoulder toward the double door, I stopped breathing.

Chapter 13
    

             
The music pulsed through the air and while everyone was enthralled with the dancer, I couldn’t take my eyes off of the grey eyes looking back at me.  I could just barely make out Emanuel’s face against the back wall, but I knew it was him.  I could feel it was him.  Between the song and Emanuel’s presence, I felt the heat spread from deep in my belly through the rest of me.

             
Holding my gaze for a second, Emanuel backed through a hidden door near the double doors.  Without thinking and without hesitation, I stood up and followed him.  Quickly and quietly, I used the wall to guide me to the door that Emanuel disappeared behind.  The door was slightly ajar and I pushed it open, entering the small dimly lit space.  A switchboard with lots of buttons, two computers, and other technology lined the room.  Emanuel was standing in the middle of the room and after closing the door behind me, we were only a few feet apart.

             
Say hi. Say something! Don’t just stand there! You followed him in here so say something,
I mentally chastised myself. His grey eyes were stormy as he looked at me.
He knew I would follow him in here,
I thought as I struggled to formulate words with him looking so good.  He wore a black suit that accentuated his muscular body and a crisp white shirt and pocket square. His bowtie was slightly askew and I wanted to fix it. I wanted to put my hands on him.
Why is that song still playing?! It’s not helping,
I thought as my lower body clenched with pure, unadulterated lust. 
That song. And the way he smells. And the way his body moves. And the way he is looking in that suit. And the way he is looking at me. It’s too much. 

             
My lips parted and only a little breath escaped.
Maybe we just need to talk at the cocktail party.  We are too close right now and it’s hard for me to think straight. And I need to be able to think clearly. I should say something. Why can’t I think of anything to say?! My social skills are better than this. What would Dr. Summers have me do? Do I need to start apologizing for last night or for the last 7 weeks? Whatever I say, I need to open my mouth and say it now. It’s hot in here,
I thought as I took a step back.
I need to take a step back literally and figuratively.

Emanuel stepped forward, backing me into the
closed door.  I tilted my head up to maintain eye contact. Without a single word being said between us, he leaned down and kissed me lightly.  His soft full lips only fleetingly grazed mine before he pulled away, pressing his forehead against mine.

My lips tingled at the brief kiss and I felt my face getting warmer. 
Okay this is the time to just say I’m sorry. Just say it,
I thought as I brought my hands to his chest.

“I love you,” I blurted out in a heated whisper.  Instantly, my mouth dropped open in
surprise and my preplanned words evaporated from my open mouth.  I wanted to look away, but I couldn’t. 
No no no no no no no no I’m sorry! I meant to say I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say that. I love him…God, I love him. But I’m not ready to say it to him. I can’t get involved with him. I won’t survive hurting him again. I can’t believe I said that,
I thought apprehensively as I watched the way Emanuel’s eyes enlarged at my unintentional admission. 

             
Thunderous clapping and catcalling erupted from the auditorium and we both flinched. “Shit!” Emanuel mumbled as he quickly went over to the switchboard and started hitting buttons. With his back toward me, I took that opportunity to sneak out of the room.  As soon as I was almost out of the door, he looked over his shoulder at me.  I quickly pulled the door closed behind me and walked swiftly in the direction of the crowd. 

             
Upstairs, there were four different dance rooms and the majority of the crowd was in one or the other. The first room I came to was the white room.  Classical music played as the black leotard wearing wait staff served heavy hors d’oeuvres on silver platters. The linens were crisp white on the bar top tables.  In the middle of each table were various white flowers.  The room looked clean and bright. 

The second room was
the red room.  Sensual R&B music played through hidden speakers and red drapes hung fluidly from the ceilings. The linens on the bar top tables were deep red and each centerpiece included a red flower arrangement. The wait staff consisted of two women and one man in black leotards and traditional ballet garb serving champagne and various desserts. The room screamed sex between the color and the pulsating beat of the music. The third and fourth rooms were locked. 

             
Spotting Emily and Anthony, I made my way to the end of the long hallway. “Emily! That was awesome!”

             
Emily looked absolutely thrilled. “Thank you! I’m so glad that you’re here!”

             
“Me too,” I smiled warmly at her and we hugged tightly.  Pulling away, I said, “You two are very cute together.” I motioned between the two of them.

             
They smiled widely and looked adoringly at one another. I laughed.  We talked for a few minutes before we were interrupted by potential clients and investors.  I excused myself and walked downstairs. 
I just need a quiet place to think. The bathroom down here is probably less crowded,
I reasoned to myself as I scoped the room out for Emanuel.  Not seeing him, I walked in the direction of the restroom which was near Emily’s office. 

             
“Oh!” I gasped as Emanuel opened the door to Emily’s office as soon as I approached. I stopped in my tracks.  He looked as surprised as I was, but he recovered more quickly.

             
Grabbing my arm, he pulled me into the office. 
I should walk away,
I thought as I let him lead me into the office.  After I walked through the threshold of the room, he closed and locked the door behind me.  I matched his gaze to give the impression of confidence, but inside, I was a mess as I toyed with my clutch. 

             
Emanuel took off his jacket slowly and I sucked in quick breath and took a step back. 
I need to leave,
I thought as he moved forward so he could drape his jacket over the back of the chair closest to him. 

             
“Sahara… do you have anything you want to say to me,” Emanuel uttered in a painfully soft voice causing my breath to hitch. He took a step forward and I didn’t move.

I opened my mouth and then shut it instantly.
Why won’t my heart stop beating so fast? Breathe. Breathe. Breathe,
I thought as I watched him run his hands through his hair. 

H
e closed his eyes tightly and sighed roughly. When his eyes met mine again, I couldn’t read his expression. “What do you want from me?” Emanuel demanded quietly.

             
Taking a trembling breath, I dropped my eyes to his shiny black shoes. 
I don’t deserve all that I want,
I silently replied, shaking my head.  The thought was unexpected, but completely true.

             
I shrugged slightly and looked through my lashes at Emanuel’s stoic face.  When our eyes met, I shivered at the intensity and closed my own eyes. 
He’s too close.  He’s too sexy. He looks and smells incredible. I can’t focus,
I thought in a rush. 

Suddenly, Emanuel
had pinned me against the back wall.  His body was pressed against me and his face was mere inches from mine.  My eyes fell to his lips and lingered before traveling back to his eyes.  He was so close and my skin burned in anticipation.  Emanuel moved his hands from my shoulders and trailed them down my bare arms. Everywhere he touched seemed to ignite a fire inside me.  He dipped his head so that his lips were right up against my ear.

“What do you want Sahara?” Emanuel growled
sexily. His minty breath tickled my ear. His voice and his words made everything between my thighs clench.

“You.” My voice was barely audi
ble as I breathed out my response.

As soon as the word
s were out of my mouth, Emanuel’s mouth was on me. He parted my full lips with his tongue and kissed me hard and deep.  I ran my hands through his thick hair and tugged lightly.
I’ve always wanted to do that,
I thought as the kiss deepened.  When he attempted to pull away, I whimpered and pulled his hair harder.  He groaned in response and allowed his hands to slowly roam down my back and over the curve of my ass. Pulling me firmly against his body, I could feel how hard he was and that only turned me on more. He trailed kisses from my lips across my cheek and down my neck.  As he was nibbling on my collarbone, his hands worked their way underneath my dress. When his fingers grazed the lace material of my G-string, he rested his forehead against my shoulder and made the sexiest noise.

“You
r panties are soaked,” Emanuel whispered as he rubbed me through the damp material. He lifted his head off of my shoulder and wrapped his arm around my waist.  Delivering soft kisses against my lips, Emanuel used his other hand to play with my panty line.

“You said you loved me earlier…”
He kissed me deeper, allowing our tongues to caress before he pulled away.  “And then you bolted…” He sucked on my bottom lip before catching it between his teeth, tugging gently.  “Why?” he asked just as he tore my G-string from my body.  I let out a noise that was part gasp and part moan as the thin strings of material briefly bit into my skin before shredding easily.  My knees buckled. 

Holding me steady with his arm and using the wall as a
prop, his fingers made direct contact with me for the first time and I moaned loudly.  Fisting his hair, I pulled his mouth to me and kissed him with a passion that had built up for over a decade. 
God, I want him. I’ve always wanted him,
I thought longingly. The pull deep inside me built to be unbearable as his stroke became more focused.  I felt how hard he was and my breathing became more labored.  “Answer me,” he commanded as he brought his forehead to mine, his eyes flashed heatedly.  

How am I supposed to think straight, let alone speak when he’s touching me,
I mused as I struggled to keep eye contact with him.  My eyes fluttered shut and he stilled his fingers.  My hips undulated against his still fingers.  I wanted more; I needed more.  My eyes opened slowly and he was watching me. 
Don’t stop. Please don’t stop,
I thought as my gaze dropped to his lips as his tongue slowly and seductively licked them.
That tongue. 

I bit my lip as my chest heaved.
“I’m afraid,” I admitted softly.  He resumed his stroking and his touch felt electric as his fingers slid across the most sensitive part of me. I gripped his shoulders, panting.

“What are you afraid of Sahara?” Emanuel
was breathing as hard as I was in the soundproof room.

I didn’t respond immediately.
He hooked two fingers inside me and held them motionless.  I started to grind my hips on his hand, but he held me tighter, subduing me. I felt him starting to pull out and I whimpered again.

Closing my eyes
and dropping my head forward, I breathed, “I’m scared of this. I’m scared of us. I’m scared of how I feel about you. I’m scared of how much I feel for you. It’s too much. It’s all too much.”

I couldn’t bring myself to open my eyes to look into his so I kept them closed
and everything seemed heightened.  I could feel him staring at me. I could feel his accelerated heart rate as it pounded against his chest.  I could feel the rapid bursts of air from his ragged breathing. And I could definitely feel his fingers inside me.  But he didn’t say anything. 

Instead of responding verbally, h
is fingers expertly moved in and out of me as his mouth captured my own. I moaned as his tongue forced its way into my mouth. My arousal grew as we kissed with reckless abandon.  My hands were all over him.  Every inch of his body I could touch, I touched.  The harder he worked himself in and out of me, the harder he became against me.

“I’ve wanted to touch you
for so long…” Emanuel whispered hoarsely against my lips. “And taste you.”

Untangling my
fingers from his hair, he positioned my hands to hold my dress up to my waist.  With my back against the wall, he lifted my leg and placed it over his shoulder.  He continued working his fingers inside me and I incoherently moaned his name repeatedly.  In response, his tongue slid across my sensitive flesh, causing everything to go black as I arched my back violently and bucked against his tongue.             

With that
, the tension that had been building released from deep in my core and spread deliciously through the rest of my body.  I feverishly gyrated against his hand and tongue.  I let go of my dress and let my fingers work their way through his dark hair.  I rode the entire wave and he never let up, he never stopped tasting me.  Then my mind went blank and temporarily, I was immobilized.  Once the last wave of pleasure vanished, I sagged against the wall. I opened my eyes gradually as he stood.  Licking his lips slowly, he watched me as I panted.  His chest heaved in time with mine and I saw a pained look in his eyes.