Back to Reality (5 page)

“I’d like for us to have a phone appointment on Monday in addition to your usual Friday appointment so that we can touch bases after your trip,” Dr. Summers suggested as she clicked on her iPad calendar. 

“
Yes, thank you,” I replied, feeling slightly relieved to know she’d be available for a debriefing.

“There’s an early morning
thirty minute block that is currently available.”

“That’s perfect.
And if possible, do you have any availability on Thursday evening instead of my usual Friday appointment? I’ve already booked my flight to Thomasville and I leave on Friday morning. Thursday after work would be best,” I requested.

“I am booked
solid on Thursday until 7pm and I don’t take appointments after 7pm.  What time is your flight on Friday?”

“
I leave Friday at 11am. Do you have any early morning appointments?” I asked.
Interesting, last week I was looking for any excuse to not follow through with therapy and now I’m practically begging for an appointment,
I pondered as I haggled for availability with the popular therapist.

Eyeing her appointment calendar, Dr. Summers proposed, “Let’s do the phone session on
early Monday morning…hmmm…” She scrolled down her time slots before deciding. “And we will work out a day and time that is agreeable for us both for the face to face session to get you prepared for your next trip.”

I gave a short nod before I said, “
Thank you.”

“I will talk to you Monday
, Sahara. Have a safe trip. And good luck.”

I smiled in response and
I turned and walked to the front door. Opening the door, I looked over my shoulder to see Dr. Summers’ retreating frame as she headed down the hallway.  Not hearing the door close, she stopped in her tracks and turned around to face me. “Sahara? Are you okay?” 

“Thank you,” I blurted out.  “I just wanted to say thank you.”

“For what?”

For not shooting down my plan. If it goes up in flames, it’s still my plan. It’s what I need to do. Not just for them, but also, I need to do it for me,
I answered silently. Unable to say anything, I gave her a short nod and walked through the front door. 

Chapter 6
    

“
Morning!” Ben’s accent greeted me as I answered the phone. Pulling my packed Louis Vuitton carry-all tote off of the white bench at the end of my bed, I walked to the living room.

             
“Hey, Ben!” I asked as I placed the bag on the couch.

             
“I’m about to leave my flat now. You ready?”

             
“Yes, I am packed and ready to roll. Thank you again for taking me to the airport.”

             
“My pleasure,” he said smoothly. “Like I told you earlier this week, I could just drive you down there. It’s just a two hour drive. You’re going to spend more time at the airport than you’re going to spend in the air.”

             
“Again, thank you, but I must decline.”

             
He laughed causing me to smile. “Declining again? Well, I tried. I’ll see you in ten.”

“Okay. Oh
and I gave concierge and security your name so you shouldn’t have any issues coming up—today,” I emphasized the word today.

“So am I correct in understanding that I shouldn’t have any issues getting to you today; however, I should expect issues getting to you any other time?” He laughed.

“That’s absolutely correct,” I retorted with a scoff.

“We shall see,” he suggested
cryptically as his voice dropped an octave. He hung up the phone and I was left shaking my head.
Ben is a nut,
I thought as I laughed to myself.

             
Heading back to the bedroom, I slipped on red ballet flats and grabbed my red Michael Kors Crossbody bag. Ten minutes later I heard the intercom buzz and I walked quickly to the front door. 

“Yes?” I spoke into the intercom.

“Hi, Ms. Lee. This is Sarah Meister with security. There’s a Dr. Ben Sullivan on his way up.”

“Thank you.”  I went back to the bedroom to make sure the bathroom light was off.  I pulled the curtains on the balcony.  I picked up my sunglasses and made my way to the living room at the same time I heard the knock at the door. 

“Be right there!” I yelled to the closed door as I grabbed my carry-all tote.
Looks like I have everything,
I thought as my eyes swept over the living room.

“Hi,” I greeted Ben as I opened the door.

“Hi…You are gorgeous, Sahara,” Ben whistled.  My white floral printed Alice + Olivia strapless dress with red and yellow floral designs showcased my legs.  My hair was pulled into a high ponytail creating a curly puff on top of my head elongating my neck.  My gold chandelier earrings grazed my collarbone. It was the perfect combination of sexy and cute.

“Thanks.
You look nice as well,” I complimented him, glancing at his herringbone fedora as I stood in the doorway.  He looked nice in his burgundy denim jeans and white polo shirt that showcased his muscular arms, but I couldn’t stop looking at that hat.  “You ready?”

“Are
you truly not going to invite me in?” Ben asked as he attempted to peek over my head into my apartment.

“I’m truly not.” I walked through the door and pulled it closed behind me.  Locking the deadbolt, I turned to face him and flashed my sweetest smile. “But again, I thank you for taking me to the airport.”

Laughing, Ben took my tote from my hand and walked down the hall to the elevator.  “You are… refreshing. This place is incredible. Those two paintings in the lobby…those aren’t real are they? I mean, wow! When you said you lived at 138 Main Street. I didn’t put it together that you lived at One38. This is exclusive.”

Uncomfortable with the direction the conversation seemed to be heading, I quickly jumped into the elevator car as soon as the door opened.  Three people were already in the elevator so the conversation halted. 
I don’t know him like that to discuss finances or anything else considered private. I should’ve taken a taxi,
I thought in annoyance.

We walked out of the
elevator in silence. “I parked in front,” Ben mentioned as we passed through the small, yet elegant lobby or “Great Room” as it was advertised. The area between the elevators and the front doors was like a museum’s waiting room—large paintings hung above square chairs that were lined against the walls. Offices for security and concierge were located behind the concierge desk.  The other wall had a short hallway that led to the mail room. Other than the paintings and the prestige of the name One38, the lobby was unassuming.

“
We’ve had dinner a few times this week. We’ve had many conversations. Whether you like it or not, we are friends. And as friends, and hopefully my wing woman at an upcoming gallery event,” he winked, “you will have to eventually tell me something personal about yourself.”

His 2013 black Prius hybrid sat in front of the building. He opened my door for me and I got in. Before he shut my door, I said, “First of all, don’t ever wink at me again.”

He laughed as he put my bag in the trunk.  When he hopped into the driver’s seat, I continued, “Second of all, I’ve told you about my job and about my best friend who lives in Georgia and about my love of art and music. That’s plenty personal. Wing woman for what? And what does it entail?”

“I was going to ask you on the phone on Thursday
, but I felt like I would have a better chance of you saying yes in person. Especially since I am taking you to the airport.”

“Subtle.” I rolled my eyes. “What is it?”

“It’s an art exhibit and because I’m not dating anyone and you, my gorgeous friend, are an art lover, it is a perfect match up.”

“Okay, I’ll let you know when I get back in town. Is that okay?”

“Of course,” he said indulgently. Again, I rolled my eyes. “Now what are you flying to your former hometown for 24 hours for?” Ben inquired cheerfully.

I didn’t say anything.
I just stared out of the window.  I could feel the panic on my face. I inhaled a deep breath and then exhaled it slowly. I didn’t know what to do.
The only person I ever put myself in a position to open up to was Ty. Everyone else, namely Emily and Emanuel, already knew me. I didn’t have to try with them. It was second nature,
I thought anxiously.  The mood in the car shifted as I could feel him glancing over at me.

“It’s a
former lover, isn’t it?” Ben asked as he slowed to a stop. “You did him wrong or did he do you wrong? I’m assuming it was you.”

Gasping, I turned to look at him. “Why would you say something like that?” 
I mean, it’s the truth, but still! Why would he make that assumption about me? 
I thought, appalled.

“Well mostly because you are going to him.  If he were the one who had wronged you, it’s less likely that you would spend money to travel to him.”

I crossed my arms over my chest and turned my head so that I was looking straight ahead.  I quietly thought about his astute reasoning before he added with a laugh, “And because you look like the type.”

I
shook my head and bit the inside of my cheek to keep from laughing. “You are really rude, you know that?”

“
Yes,” he said simply as he accelerated and maneuvered between two large trucks.

The rest of the thirty
minute drive was filled with loud singing to old school R&B.  When we pulled up to the drop off curb at the airport, Ben and I hopped out of the car at the same time.  He grabbed my luggage from out of the trunk and met me on the curb. 

“It’s not too late. I could still drive you down and we could finish our singing competition,” he proposed as he handed me my tote.

“It’s incredibly sweet of you to offer to do that for me, but I have some business to take care of and I think I need the alone time on the flight to get my mind right,” I explained.

“And to think, I was going to do my best Temptations number for you. For shame!”
Ben quickly snatched the hat from his head and clutched it to his chest.  I laughed. Hard. 
If there is one thing about Ben, he was always good for a laugh,
I thought as I braced myself against the side of his car. When the moment passed I wiped the wetness from the corner of my eye and glanced at the sky.  A plane had just taken off. Remembering my reason for going on this trip, I sobered instantly. 

I looked at Ben who was staring at me intently.  It reminded me of the way Dr. Summers stares at me when I go quiet.

“You haven’t allowed me to be privy to what happened or what you’re going to Richland to do, but I can assure you this: you are a good person.  You’ve seemed a bit shaken since I’ve met you. But you also have this strength and decency about you as well.  No matter what happens, it’ll be fine. Good, bad, or indifferent, it’ll be fine,” Ben commented kindly.

             
I let out a shaky breath and gave him a small smile.
I needed to hear that…and I didn’t even know I needed to hear it,
I mused.  His words sounded like a pep talk from a friend. His words sounded like a pep talk from Emily.  I had a fleeting urge to hug him; however, in typical Ben fashion. He continued to talk.

             
“Let me take your bag to get checked so I can talk to the baggage attendant over there with the tight skirt on.”

L
aughing, I retorted, “I’m not checking my bag and I will not let my luggage be involved in whatever you have going on. Go talk to her—without my bag—and I will see you tomorrow.” Pushing myself off of the car, I squared my shoulders and started to walk away.

Grabbing me by the elbow, Ben pulled me toward him and kissed the top of my head, right in front
of my ponytail puff.  He grabbed my shoulders and looked me straight in the eyes. “You will be fine.” He nodded his head toward the cute baggage attendant. “And I’ll be here when your plane lands… unless I’m holed up somewhere with her.”

Laughing, I pushed his hands off of my shoulders. “Bye Ben!”

“Goodbye!”

As I walked through the threshold of the airport, I heard loud giggling behind me.  I glanced over my shoulder and saw Ben charming the cute baggage attendant. 
Emily is right. He is smooth. And I need to call her before I get on this plane,
I thought as I headed to security check.

In a mere thirty minutes, I
was making my way onto the aircraft.  The plane was already full due to the fact Bakersfield was a layover stop for the majority of the passengers.  I was still on the phone with Emily when I entered the cabin and I felt like all eyes were on me because I was on the phone.

“Yes, I’m finding my seat now,” I informed Emily as I walked down the narrow walkway. I found my window seat quickly. My issue was finding a free space in the overhead compartment for my tote.

“Why is it so quiet?” Emily whispered conspiratorially as if she could be overheard.

“I have no idea,” I answered as my eyes swept over the other passengers. The flight attendant pointed to a space a few seats behind where my seat was located.  I pushed my tote into the cramped compartment.  “I’m so glad you enjoyed your morning at the spa! Text me a picture of your manicure. I’m going to call you when I get to the hotel. It should be in like an hour and a half.”

“I’m meeting Manny in an hour so…” Emily’s sentence trailed off.

I was quiet for a fraction of a second before I said, “Okay well I will just talk to you tonight. I should probably focus and clear my head before going to Jimmy’s.” Sitting in my seat, I adjusted my Cross Body bag and buckled my seatbelt.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to let Manny know?”

“I’m absolutely positive.  I know you don’t love my idea
Em, but the element of surprise is all I have on my side after what I’ve done.”

“I know you think that Sahara, but I don’t think that’s necessarily the case.
I think what you’re doing is brave. But at least when you come here, you’ll have me.  This weekend whatever will happen, will happen and I am just worried about you being alone to deal with this.  I wish you would’ve waited for me and I could’ve come with you. That’s all.” Emily’s worry was evident in her voice.

My heart swelled. “
Em…thank you. I appreciate you so much. You already had plans and if you would’ve come up here, you wouldn’t be able to get all your stuff done. And you have major things in the works for next week that I can’t wait to see come together. I’m proud of you.”

“Thank you. I’m proud of you too. And you will be fine. No matter what happens, you will be fine.”

I smiled at the familiarity of the words.
That’s twice in less than an hour that I’ve been assured I’d be fine so I will be fine,
I thought to myself. “You are the best best friend a girl could ask for. Now I have to go. The flight attendant just gave me a look.”

Emily scoffed, “Give that bitch a look right back.”

I laughed loudly as we said our goodbyes and I hung up the phone.  Leaning my head against the warm glass of the window, I closed my eyes. 
I will be okay. I will be fine. No matter what happens. I will be fine. Ty is probably angry. Scratch that. Ty is probably furious with me. But I will apologize and he will listen. Well he did ignore me and shut me out completely after we got back from Thomasville so maybe he won’t listen. Is Emily right? Should I have waited? No I needed to do this. I need to do this. He deserves an explanation and an apology. He needs to know I never meant to hurt him. I’m doing the right thing. I’m doing the right thing. I am,
I convinced myself as the airplane prepared for takeoff.