Back to the Drawing Board (13 page)

I feigned shock. “What? You haven’t lived until you’ve had a cat lay on your face in the middle of the night. Never have I ever had a little sibling.”

Carter tapped his finger on his lips. “Well I have three of those, so I can’t say that. Never have I ever had an
older
sibling.”

“Good one.” I wanted to get more personal, but I was afraid. “Never have I ever worked anywhere but my parents’ company.”

“Never? Even as a teenager?”

I shook my head. “I worked in the mail room, then as a receptionist.”

“Hmm. Interesting. Never have I ever been out of the United States.”

“Ooh, I have! Okay, never have I ever . . . been in a car accident.”

A look I couldn’t describe crossed Carter’s face. He picked up his beer and downed half of it, looking away when he put it down. Uh oh. I’d crossed a line somehow. I was just about to tell him we didn’t have to play this dumb game when he looked back at me.

“I almost died in a car accident,” he said. I felt like an idiot. Not that I had known, but I still effectively changed the mood of our night.

“I’m sorry. I’m so glad you didn’t.” I wanted to ask a million more questions about it, but I didn’t. I knew better than to push him into saying something he didn’t want to. He’d tell me if and when he wanted to.

One side of his mouth lifted in a slight smile. “You’re different.”

“Is that a good thing?”

He nodded, making butterflies take flight in my stomach. “Yes. I just said something that opened it up for a ton of questions. Instead, you just let it go. You’re not like most girls.”

“Well, that doesn’t mean I don’t want to know,” I admitted. “But I know our situation is a little . . . different. I don’t want to push.”

“You mean like kissing me in the car?” There went the butterflies. Now a boulder just fell at 100 miles per hour into the pit of my stomach.

It felt like flames were creeping up my neck and face. “I—-”

“Julia,” Carter interrupted, placing his hand over mine. “I’m kidding. I enjoyed every second of that. I’ll tell you someday about the accident, but not tonight. I’m having fun. It’s refreshing to hang out with you, that’s all.”

“Thank you.”

“So whose turn is it?” Carter grinned.

“Yours.” I picked up my wine and sipped it, studying his face as he thought.

“Never have I ever . . . been in love.”

I inhaled, sending wine shooting down my lungs. My chest burned and I began coughing, my eyes filling with tears as I gasped for air. I saw Carter jump up and move to my side, then felt his hand on my back.

“Are you okay?” I shook my head yes even though I felt like I was drowning in a sea of wine. My chest constricted painfully and I was afraid it was going to come out in an unladylike way. Fighting around the fluid in my lungs, I inhaled and coughed more.

After what seemed like hours but was probably under a minute, I looked up at Carter, my chest heaving. Tears poured down my face from the choking/coughing, and I could only imagine what I looked like at the moment.

“Julia,” Carter said, picking up the napkin on the table. He dabbed it under my eyes, his other hand making circles on my back. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

I cleared my throat, reaching for my glass of water and taking a sip. “Yes,” I answered. “I think I am now. Wow. That was
not
fun. Thank you.”

“I’m not sure I did anything,” he said. “You scared me to death, though.”

“Sorry,” I coughed again. “God, I feel like an idiot.”

A wayward tear escaped my eye again, and Carter reached up and wiped it away with his finger. “You’re
not
an idiot, Julia. Not in the least.” This time it was him that leaned over, so close I could feel his breath on my face. “Do you want to go? Or are you okay to eat?”

I watched his lips move, knowing if I leaned in just a fraction, we’d be touching again. I wanted that like nothing else in the world. I felt a cough coming back, though, so I turned my head. Carter had to go and say he’d never been in love before. I’d only hoped he would get more personal with me, but hell that was as intimate as you could get. I thought I’d been in love before, with the only steady boyfriend I’d ever had. But that had been high school, and after a year of college we’d broken up. Last I knew, he lived in New York City. I hadn’t been broken up over it; it just was what it was. There’d been no one since then that I’d cared enough to try to love.

“Here you go.” I heard plates being put on the table. Our food had arrived. Carter rubbed my back one more time and then retreated to his side of the table. I felt the loss immediately.

We halted the game after that, but I couldn’t stop thinking about what he’d said and why he chose to give me that information. I didn’t dare bring it up now. We chatted about work, things in Denver he wanted to see, and the benefit on Saturday.

It wasn’t until we were walking back to my car, the sun setting behind the mountains, that Carter shocked me again. Thank God I wasn’t drinking anything at the moment. He reached out and grabbed my hand, interlacing our fingers together. I didn’t dare look at him for fear he would stop, but I squeezed his fingers lightly and wished for the walk to the car to never end.

“So beautiful,” Carter said, stopping next to the driver’s side of my car. I looked up at the sun setting over the mountains, knowing he didn’t see this kind of sunset in Florida. But he wasn’t looking at that. His eyes were locked on mine, and the look I saw there made me weak in the knees. Hunger, desire, and lust were spilling from his heated expression.

He stepped forward and I backed up until my backside hit the car. Looking up at his face, I smiled, wishing my nerves away. He tucked a piece of my hair behind my ear that had come out of my braid. His touch made me want to close my eyes, but I couldn’t stop looking at him.

“I made you choke on your wine,” he said.

“I’m fine,” I answered.

“It was what I said, right?”

“I-I didn’t expect you to be so . . . honest.”

He sighed, running his fingers through his hair. “I don’t know what happens to me when I’m around you, Julia. If I’d been drinking, I probably would’ve choked myself. You make me lose my head. I know that I can’t do this with you, but that doesn’t make me want it any less.”

Oh, my gosh. He just told me he wanted me.
Play it cool, Julia. Tread carefully.
I stepped up on my tiptoes and wrapped my arms around his neck.

“Carter. When you told me I’m not like other girls? Well, I think you’re not like other guys, either. It’s refreshing. I like being with you. I know we barely know each other, but I like what I do know. Let’s just see what happens, okay?”

“Your father would never allow it,” he said, speaking both of our fears.

“My father isn’t here,” I whispered.

Carter’s eyes widened. “Julia.”

“Kiss me,” I said.

He opened and closed his mouth, but nothing came out. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pressed his body against mine. “I want to,” he admitted.

“So do it.” I was egging him on, pushing the limits, but I needed to.

He looked at me for so long, I just knew he was going to pull away and walk back to his side of the car. I could initiate the kiss; I’d already done that once tonight. But I wanted him to do it this time.

Just when I was steeling myself for disappointment, he crashed his lips to mine. I gasped, but the sound was muffled by his urgent kiss. He wasn’t gentle or tentative, and I loved every second of it. I lifted my hands and held on to the sides of his face, the feeling of his short beard intoxicating me. His arms were wrapped around me tightly, and his firm body was pressing me against my car. I ran my hands along his firm chest and abs, then back up to hold on to his biceps.

I felt his tongue against my lips and I couldn’t help the groan that escaped when our tongues touched for the first time. He tasted like the mint he’d popped at the end of our meal. He leaned over more, taking my mouth with the fervor of a starving man. I whimpered when Carter sucked my tongue then nipped it gently. God, this man could
kiss
. Imagine what else he could do. Hell, my body might already know, even if my brain didn’t remember.

I didn’t even care that we were standing in the parking lot of a shopping center and he had me pressed against my car. All I cared about was feeling his firm body against mine, the arousal that was pressing into me, and his punishing kiss on my lips.

His kiss slowed and then he pulled away way too soon, putting soft pecks on my swollen lips. He rested his forehead against mine while both of us fought to resume breathing normally.

“Wow,” I said, tilting my head up to look at him again.

He smiled, that half smile that made my stomach curl with desire. I wanted so much more. Like to go home with him. “Yeah. Wow. Julia.” He smoothed my hair back, and I closed my eyes at his touch. Desire was zinging through my body like electricity in a closed circuit. “Why do we have to work together?”

I sighed. It was coming back to that.

“Don’t,” he lifted my chin. “I’m just saying had I met you anywhere else, this would be so much easier.”

Hope bloomed in my chest. What was he saying? That he would try this? “I know,” I said, caressing his face. “But it doesn’t have to be difficult, Carter.”

“How can it not be? I work for you. I work for your parents. I’ve wanted this internship ever since I knew this company existed when I was in high school. It’s been my goal. I can’t screw it up, Julia. I just can’t.”

He stepped back and let me go, and I felt him emotionally pull away from me. Tears filled my eyes. I knew it. He’d never pick me over the job. Not that I wanted him to, but damn it hurt to hear him admit it.

I turned so he wouldn’t see the emotion all over my face. “You ready to go?”

He sighed from behind me. “Sure.”

We got into the car and didn’t say a word until I pulled up in front of his apartment building. I unlocked the doors and he reached for the door handle.
Please don’t leave without saying anything
, I begged. Not again.

“Julia,” Carter said. “Thank you for tonight. It was a lot of fun. It was great to get out with someone that knows the city. Thanks for the help with the tux, too.” He looked over at me in the moonlight, and I nodded in response, not trusting my voice to speak.

He got out, reaching in the back to get the hanging bag. Just as he was about to shut the door, he leaned back inside. “You’re an amazing woman, Julia. Don’t think I don’t realize that. See you tomorrow at work.”

I watched as he walked away, turning back one more time to wave goodbye before disappearing into his building. I didn’t even know how long I sat there, tears rolling down my face, hating myself for allowing my stupid heart to rule over my head again.

“Thanks for coming over,” I said, handing Tracey a glass of wine.

“Always,” she answered. “Now spill it. What’s wrong?”

I sipped my wine, wishing I wasn’t such a stupid girl. “Well, Carter and I went out tonight.”

Her eyes got wide. “Out? As in,
out
out?”

I sighed. “As in, I took him to get a tux for the benefit on Saturday and we went to dinner.”

Her eyebrow lifted. “And?”

“We kissed.”

Her mouth dropped open.

“Twice.”

“Julia,” she hissed. “At least you can remember this time. How was it?”

“He’s amazing, Trace. But it’s so complicated. He is so afraid for this job. I can understand that, but he just doesn’t get that I would never do anything to jeopardize his dream. I’ve only known him a little over a week. I know I’m being ridiculous. You know I haven’t been the commitment type, but he’s . . . different. I want him. And not just for a roll in the sheets.” I stopped, trying to work past the lump in my throat.

Tracey reached over and put her hand on mine, and I lost the battle with my tears. “Why am I crying over a man I met a week ago, Tracey? What is wrong with me? He doesn’t want me. Or he does, but he wants his job more. He
told
me he wanted me, but then before I took him home he said he can’t miss out on his goal.”

Tracey wrapped her arms around me. “Julia,” she murmured into my hair. “Give him time. You said yourself he admitted he liked you. It seems like it’s two steps forward, one step back. You just may need to back off a little and let him come to you.”

I sniffled. She was right. As much as I liked him and felt like we had a chemistry that was undeniable, I wasn’t going to throw myself at him and hope he caught me.

“You’re right. As always. I’ve gotten myself all hyped up over this man and I need to just chill. Thank you for putting it into perspective for me.”

“Speaking of,” Tracey said. “Whatever happened with the doctor?”

I thought of that stressful few days while I’d waited for the test results to come back. “All clear. If we did sleep together, nothing happened. I told Carter that in a rather awkward conversation a few days ago as well. That’s not something I want to have to do again.”

“Well thank God. Julia, fine man or not, you can’t do that again.”

“Don’t I know that. That was dumb.”

With that, we clinked glasses, toasting to good friends and foolish men who couldn’t make up their minds.