Backstage Pass: All Access (6 page)

“Sasha.” His words are a leash around my ankle. I’d just wanted to come out and run and burn off this weirdness threatening to consume me. I didn’t expect to see him here, let alone looking like he’d been run over by an entire marching band.

I w
ould never understand him.

I thought our date went so awesome. We were p
utting everything back together. I mean, yeah, I told him some embarrassing moments over dinner, but I thought that was what tonight had been all about. I thought we had revealed our deepest darkest so we wouldn’t have any more secrets between us.

And then he left.

Left me standing on my goddamn porch like a sophomore.

At first I
’d been dumbstruck, but as I paced around the house, I’d gotten pissed.

Pissed that I’d cared. Pissed that I’d put so much effort into the evening; how I looked, that my underwear matched, that my earrings were ones he hadn’t seen before but would
have looked amazing when I had nothing else on.

The more I stewed, the more overheated I’d gotten until I couldn’t stand being enclosed in the
house anymore. I’d had to run, race, fly.

And then I’d found him here.

And both my heart and my vajayjay had leapt.

Traitors.

He sat there looking all smug and disheveled and sexy and vulnerable. I wanted to squeeze his windpipe and rip his clothes off.

“Sasha.”

My feet betrayed me too and walked us closer.

I bit my lips, terrified of what
might leak out. I stopped in front of him and he stared at me with that injured look and I wanted to cradle him against me and take him home and never let him out of my sight. But the other part of me thought that he’d done this to himself. We could have already been home and he wouldn’t look like this. We’d be well on our way to ecstasy and spending the night curled up in each other’s arms.

My finger
tips brushed the top of his thigh and I curled them into a fist. His legs closed, trapping me between them. A heady rush of tingles exploded along my skin, letting loose an avalanche of shivers. I didn’t want to want him. But I did.

The pressure of
his thighs against mine was enough to buckle my knees and I forced myself to stay upright. He leaned forward and uncurled my fist, then stroked my palm. “Sasha.”

It was
a prayer and a plea and a song all rolled together. I could feel his eyes searching my face but I didn’t waver from staring at the tip of his nose. I was afraid to meet his gaze, afraid to see the need there, because as soon as I did, I’d cave and he’d be tearing my guts out again when he decided he’d had enough and wanted to go home.

“What are you doing here, Jesse?”

His fingers played along the lines in my palm, along my thumb, over the pulse that was pounding in my wrist. He lifted that piece of me to his lips. A kiss. A nip. I was nearly gushing with pleasure over the feel of his lips on my skin again. I squeezed my thighs together and demanded that entire region to straighten up and quit fooling.

But those parts
didn’t listen. Not to a single thing I said.

Because now he’
d taken a finger into his mouth. His tongue swirled around the bottom while he sucked it. I was losing my mind. I came out here to get rid of him and now he was driving me slowly insane. Insane. A moan shot up my throat but I trapped it and my chest expanded and I needed to breathe and my panties were getting wet and I needed. I needed.

“Jesse. Tell me.” I
couldn’t say anything more because I sounded ridiculously breathless and I didn’t want to be a groupie. I wanted to sound like a put together woman who knew what she was doing and didn’t come out tonight to run because she was so sexually charged and frustrated that jacking off wasn’t even an option. I wanted to act like someone who wasn’t about to climb in his lap and dry bone him until we were both screaming loud enough to wake the homeless guy who lived on the other side of the park. I wanted to be composed, controlled, cool.

I want
ed to act like he didn’t affect me.

But he d
id.

Oh he d
id.

He suckle
d my finger until my nipples were tight little buds straining against my jogging bra and my thighs were trembling and I could hardly breathe.

H
is lips pressed around my finger, then the tip, and then he curled it against his jaw. “Baby, I had a plan for tonight. I was going to keep it slow.” He tugged gently on my arm and I tipped forward. In one swift move, he grabbed my ass and pulled me down so I was straddling him. I arched backward to keep from falling, but that only ground my soft stuff into his very hard stuff. He groaned.

I moan
ed and froze. “Sorry.” I tried to get out of his lap, but then his lips are plundering mine. Before I could even catch a breath, his tongue partnered with mine in the sexiest tango ever and now the music started and I could feel him singing into me and I wanted to die a thousand deaths because I was about to come right there on his lap in the middle of a public park on a bench beneath the moonlight.

H
is hands were everywhere; up my back, beneath my shirt, teasing my nipples. He broke the kiss and I arched my neck as he suckled me through the bra. First one, then the other. I ground my hips into him and a hiccup of air escaped. I couldn’t . . . I needed. I wanted. My fingers fumbled with his tie, and I finally got it untied. He picked that moment to look up at me with those eyes and I tumbled into the depths of his soul. I loved him so much it hurt.

But I’
d never told him that.

Of all the places I thought I’d tell him, this wasn’t it. I thought we’d be in a bubble bath or on rose petals or somewhere romantic and stupidly chick-flick worthy. My
wrists wrapped once, twice around the ends of his tie and he blinked. Tears gathered at the corners of my eyes and I couldn’t stop them from falling because now I was bound to him. Not just with silk, but with the very fabric of the universe. I wanted to tell him but the words just wouldn’t come. His hands skimmed lightly over my ribs. Up, up to cup my face and he caught the first tear as it fell.

“Sasha.”

They fell like raindrops onto his suit and I wrapped my wrists one more time. I was bound to him for all time. No matter what happened from this moment onward, he would forever by my first.

“I love you.”

He inhaled sharply and his eyes opened wider. “Love, Sasha. You are my only love. I love you.” It was as gentle as a song lyric and he kissed my tears and my lips and my heart pounded with the beauty of it. His lips feathered across mine and then he stood, scooping me and carrying me to the car. My hands instantly linked behind his neck and he was still pressing butterfly kisses on me and I was in the car, unraveling his tie from my wrists and he was speeding us somewhere into the night, but his hands were still all over me and I could barely keep from crawling in his lap again.

We race
d past my house and the lights of downtown flickered and ricocheted off the windshield and I craned my neck and tried to see all the buildings to figure out where we were but I didn’t want to stop looking at him either. He pulled the car beneath a wide portico and a valet opened my door. I was wide eyed and slack jawed and Jesse took my hand, jammed his tie in the pocket of his suit pants and we pushed through the revolving doors. A blush heated my cheeks as I took in the opulence of the lobby and compared it to my extreme underdressed outfit.

While
I ogled Jesse’s profile set amid the crystal and mirrors and gold and beauty, he checked us into a room and then we sped toward a bank of elevators. The doors barely closed and he had me pressed up against a wall and he was stealing my breath. My shoe hooked behind his thigh and I pulled our hips closer together.
God I wanted him so bad.
His lips seared a line of heat down the side of my neck and my nipples ached so bad from the brush of his suit jacket. I didn’t even care if anyone got on the elevator.

H
is fingers slid beneath the curve of my ass and he hitched me higher on the wall until I wrapped my legs around him. The floors dinged and dinged in my ear as we rode up but they were just a melody in the night. Jesse hummed one of his songs while he slid his tongue in an out of my mouth, playing with mine, tasting me, teasing me. My senses were a swirl of everything and I couldn’t keep any of them straight. I was enjoying the taste of his lips and feeling the melody and the rough scratch of his suit against my bare thighs.

The doors swish
ed open and I could barely pull away to check to saw if it was our floor or someone getting on. Jesse opened his eyes and glanced over his shoulder and then he was carrying me down the hall, but hadn’t bothered to put me down. We tipped a vase over on the way by, and I tried to grab for it, but then he had my ass on the table where the vase used to be and he pressed into me like we had one minute left to live. The vase fell with a crash and I didn’t even care that we were destroying hotel property.

Because that’s what rock
stars do.

I giggle
d and he rumbled against my ear. “Something funny?”

“Yes,” I
hissed as his cock rubbed nearly inside me and I was so wet the laughter bubbled up into the air and I couldn’t remember what was so funny.

He fumble
d for his key and slid it through four times before it clicked green and then we were stumbling inside and he yanked his jacket off and then his shoes. My bra flew over my head and we were on the bed. I had one sock still on and he was trying to get his belt and trousers off.

I push
ed his fingers away and straddled him, but there was a soft bulge in his pocket and I fished out his tie and held it up like a trophy. I grinned and he got distracted by my bouncing breasts.

I want
ed him to fuck me so hard that I could barely think straight, but I had some payback first. While he rimmed my tight nipple I fiddled with the tie and slipped both ends over his wrists and drew them tight. His head snapped up and he held up his bound wrists, a wide grin on his face. “Oh, yeah.”

A thrill shot through me and I test
ed the knot. It was good enough. I lifted his hands over his head and made him scoot back on the bed. While I straddled him to tie the other end to the fancy headboard, he ducked his head and swirled his tongue over my clit. I grabbed the head board and hung on through the first crashing orgasm. He licked and licked and blew on my damp curls until the tsunami passed and I eased my grip on the headboard. His arms were still over his head and I finished the knot and eased back down his body.

He
stole a kiss and I was caught up in the taste of me. Definitely a night for firsts. This was so crazy hot I couldn’t even stand it.

I unbuckle
d his pants and had a hella time getting them off of him, but his huge cock finally bounced free and I stupidly stared at it, wanting it everywhere all at once. He had loved me so completely every single time and I hadn’t had a chance to return the favor. My fingers trembled and by the time I got him naked I could barely control the anxiety level of my need.

He
watched me so intently and I couldn’t even handle how sexy this was with his hands tied above his head and every inch of his amazing body so gloriously on display. I touched his feet, lingering over the perfection of his toes and his ankles. I’d never been able to really look at him. We’d always been in such a rush and he controlled every single moment of our other times.

A smile
tugged at one corner of my mouth and I bent down to kiss his shin.

Breath
hissed between his teeth. “Sasha, you’re going to kill me.”

“Maybe.” I kiss
ed his kneecap, the inside curve of his thigh. I’d felt these muscles as he took me beyond the atmosphere, but I’d never gotten to explore them like this. He was trembling like hypothermia had invaded his body and I was loving every single second of this.

I kn
elt between his thighs and gently stroked his balls. I rolled them between my fingers until he arched off the bed. My name ripped from his throat and a surge of power soared through me until I could absolutely take flight. I leaned forward and tasted the tip of his cock, then opened wider. My other hand gripped the shaft and together I worked them up and down over and over until he was writhing beneath me. Deeper, I let him invade my space. I swallowed and my jaw popped. He was so huge and this was the most amazing and powerful thing I’d ever done. I felt like I completely ruled his entire universe.

He
bucked beneath me and begged me for release, pleaded with me to untie him so he could fuck me. I didn’t give in. I liked him like this; helpless and at my mercy. I took him deeper and deeper until he finally let go at the back of my throat. I swallowed and swallowed until he was quivering and panting.

I kiss
ed the inside of his thigh, his belly, and tasted each section of his ripped abs. When I was straddling that glorious cock, I paused and bit my lip. I had no idea if he could keep up with me now that he had just had an orgasm. He was still panting and his eyes were riveted on my breasts. They skimmed downward and he rocked his hips forward. “Take me home, Sasha.”