Balancing Act (24 page)

Other than the goose egg on her forehead and the bruise to the jaw, she appeared to be uninjured. Her face was smudged with dirt except where her tears had left paths on her cheeks. Seth’s lips compressed as he looked at her. Remembering how she’d covered her stomach, he ran his hands over her ribs and pressed against her abdomen. He slipped off her shoes before going into the bathroom off her bedroom to get a warm washcloth. He could at least wipe some of the dirt from her face so he could get a better look at her bruises. As he reached to turn on the hot water, his hand bumped a bottle of pills. He absently put them back and held the washcloth under the running water. As he registered what the bottle said, he continued to hold the cloth under the water until it got hot enough to make him jerk his hand from beneath it and turn it off.

Pre-natal vitamins.

He stared at the bottle, realization dawning.
Pre-natal vitamins.
Anna had taken those when she was pregnant. Seth returned to Tessa’s side and wiped the dirt from her face. She stirred, but didn’t wake up. In fact, she slept so heavily it was frightening. He wondered if she might have a concussion, but dismissed the thought. His eye caught a small pamphlet on her nightstand.
Nutrition: The Key to Your Healthy Pregnancy
.

Holy shit.

Seth stared at Tessa’s stomach. The long sweater she wore hid her from view, but he’d seen her in that damned uniform at Flamingo Road. She didn’t look pregnant, did she? Seth swallowed hard. He told himself he was trying to make her comfortable by slipping off her jeans. He raised her sweater and saw she had left the button at the waistband unbuttoned. A sudden memory flashed into his mind of Anna right before she decided she would have to wear maternity pants. She could never get the waist on her clothes fastened.

Seth’s fingers trembled as he slid the zipper down and slipped Tessa’s jeans off. The diamond stud at her belly button was gone. For some reason, that more than anything so far convinced him that all the signs he was seeing were the reality, not wishful thinking. He stared for an instant, then rested his hand over her stomach, not pushing, just feeling the shape beneath his hand. He remembered her so well, though it had been three months since he’d loved her in this very bed. Her stomach was not as flat as it had been. His gaze darted to the nightstand and memory struck him of how carried away they had been, so carried away neither of them remembered the condom that first time. There was Zach telling him how tired she was and how she was sick all the time.

He wanted to shake her awake and find out for sure. Instead he pulled the covers up over her and turned off the light. It could wait until morning. After all, the night was already almost gone. He was not leaving her after what she’d been though, nor was he leaving until he got some answers.

Chapter 13

Hunger woke Tessa three hours later. Her stomach was beginning to roll, and if she didn’t eat something soon, she would be sick. Struggling to shake off her drowsiness, she swung her legs out of bed, realizing she still had on her sweater and her underclothes, but not her jeans. What had happened? She couldn’t seem to get her mind around it.

She stripped off her bra and underwear and threw on an old sweatshirt and a pair of sweatpants. Even those felt a little snug in the waist. Tessa grimaced. She’d gone overnight from being able to wear her clothes to nothing fitting quite right, not even her bras. She stumbled across the hall into the kitchen at the back of the apartment and found the half-eaten sleeve of saltines she tried to keep handy. After pouring herself a glass of water, she grabbed the crackers, headed toward the living room and stopped dead.

Seth was stretched out on the couch, his dress shoes on the floor and his suit jacket and tie folded on a nearby chair. As Tessa stared at his soundly sleeping form, memory returned. Her hands shook as she remembered Peter and being locked in the trunk of her own car. She set the glass of water on the coffee table, afraid she might drop it, but kept the crackers clutched against her chest. What had happened? Why was Seth here?

He stirred, frowning as if he couldn’t find a comfortable spot. No surprise there, when he was trying to fit a six-and-a-half-foot frame onto a six-foot couch.

She remembered him putting her in his SUV, but not much after that. Had he removed her jeans? Her free hand went to her stomach and her gaze settled back on Seth. Did he know? Stupid! How could he not know? She had pregnancy literature scattered around her room. And it was wishful thinking to believe he hadn’t spotted the pre-natal vitamins in the bathroom.

She looked at him again. His eyes were open and focused on her belly.

“How far along are you?”

Well, that settled the question. There was no point in trying to deny anything.

“Three months.”

Seth swung his feet to the floor and sat up. His eyes, bloodshot from lack of sleep, took in the crackers in her hand and the glass of water on the table nearby. He patted the couch next to him.

“Sit down, Tessa, and eat something. I assume that’s why you’ve got the crackers. Are you nauseous?”

She nodded, unsure what kind of mood he might be in but feeling like she needed to be as careful as if she had an untamed lion in the room. “If I wait too long between eating something I get sick.”

With more than a little self-consciousness, she nibbled on a cracker when what she really wanted to do was shove it in her mouth and eat it as fast as possible.

Seth stroked the hair out of her face so he could see the goose egg there. “Then eat,” he said again. “Don’t nibble on it. Anna could never seem to get enough salt while she was pregnant with Becca. I guess that explains the olives you had the last time I was here.”

Tessa swallowed a sip of water and nodded. “I can’t keep them in the house.”

“When are you due?” His tone was impersonal, as if he either didn’t care or he was keeping a very tight rein on his emotions.

“The end of May.”

“We can go to the courthouse Monday and get a marriage license. I’m sure I can convince our priest to perform the ceremony.” It was said with the same casual tone he might use to discuss weather with a stranger.

It had a different effect on Tessa. She almost choked on the cracker she was munching on. Marriage? To Seth? Three months ago she would have fallen into his arms, but that was before he’d allowed his father to fire her, before he’d believed she would steal from him.

“I won’t marry you,” Tessa said.

Seth ran a hand through his hair. “Tessa, you don’t have much choice.”

“I do have a choice! I will not bring this baby into a loveless marriage and that’s what it would be.”

* * * *

Seth cringed. It might be loveless on her side, but what about him? As much as he might have tried to deny it even as short a time ago as last night, as much as he might have tried to forget Tessa, he couldn’t. She was locked in his heart. He had fallen so in love with her, there was nothing he wanted more than to marry her. He pushed his own feelings aside. Tessa was logical. Maybe he could appeal to her that way.

“Tessa, you have more here to consider than just the baby. What about Zach? You worried your aunt and uncle would find out about Edwards. Think what they might do if they discover you’re pregnant and unmarried.”

Tessa’s hand shook as she set the glass of water down and stared at Seth.

“Think about it from a judge’s point of view if they ask for another custody hearing.” Seth continued pressing his point. “You’re getting ready to add a baby to your household, with all the expenses that entails. How will you support all of you? You can’t continue working much longer as a waitress at a strip club. What will you do then?”

Tessa’s expression hardened. “Roberto is moving me into the office.”

“But you won’t be making tips anymore, will you?” Seth kept his tone neutral and logical when what he wanted to do was grab her and shake her. He could give her and Zach the moon and not put a dent in his pocket. Why were they even having this discussion? But he knew the answer. It was Tessa’s damnable stubborn streak.

“No,” she admitted. “I won’t be making tips anymore, but I’ve saved money. I won’t marry you, Seth. I appreciate your help last night more than I can say, but it changes nothing.” She stood up and walked away from him to the window seat. “I want you to go,” she said in a small voice.

* * * *

Tessa did want him to go. He was too big, too overpowering and she was afraid if he stayed, she would say yes. She didn’t want to deal with any of this. She was confused and fuzzy-headed. Now that she’d eaten something, her only desire was go back to sleep. Seth would do his duty if she let him. That was one thing she could count on with Seth. He would always take care of them, like he took care of business at Barrett even though his heart wasn’t in it. And she didn’t want a life like that.

“Damn it, Tessa!” Seth ground out, his voice starting to rise. “You must listen to reason.”

“I am listening to reason!” she snapped back. “I’m listening to all the reasons it would never, could never work. Get out, Seth. I don’t know how much more plainly I can put it.”

He wanted to hit something, he was so angry. She saw it in his face, recognized it from the day he’d gotten that package that had concerned his sister. Seth grabbed his shoes, jammed his feet in them, and snatched up his coat and tie. He paused at the door and glared at her from narrowed eyes.

“There’s a point, Tessa, where your desire to be self-sufficient does nothing but hurt everyone around you. I’ll leave, but you’re going to have to ask yourself what you’ve really accomplished. Are you helping Zach? Are you helping this baby? Are you even helping yourself?”

Tessa stared at him, careful to keep her face expressionless. “Get out.”

* * * *

His expression might be composed, God knew he’d had plenty of experience at that, but inside he was being eviscerated with a dull knife. He shut the door with a click of finality. Seth held his mouth in a thin line as he drove back to his brownstone, trying to keep his emotions in check. He was furious, and at the same time he couldn’t deny the pain. She wanted nothing to do with him, wanted to shut him out of even the child they’d created together. How much clearer could she make it that she wanted nothing to do with him? Funny, he’d never considered himself to be a masochist, but wasn’t that what he was making himself by continuing to beat his head against the immovable wall of her stubbornness?

Seth pulled up to the brownstone and sighed. Brandon’s sports car was already out front. No doubt his younger brother had let himself in. Bran had a way of making himself at home. Seth walked in. His brother appeared on the stair landing, about half dressed in a formal gray morning suit.

“Jesus, Seth,” Brandon drawled. “You look like shit. Did you have to go carousing the night before Stacey’s wedding? I mean, honest to God. You’re supposed to be the sane, sober, dutiful one in the family. Then you go all woo-woo on us and vanish. Was all that exposed female flesh at that club last night too much for your aging senses?”

Seth’s anger flared. “Shut the fuck up, Brandon. You are way off base on this! Were you so busy ogling that statuesque blonde on the dance floor you missed Tessa?”

“Tessa?” Brandon looked confused as he came down the carpeted stairs. “Tessa Edwards?
Your
Tessa?”

Seth laughed, the sound harsh and humorless. “You can hardly describe her as my Tessa, at least not anymore. She turned down my marriage proposal.”

Brandon stopped next to Seth and arched a thick blond eyebrow at him. “And you went from not seeing her for months to a marriage proposal why?”

Seth raked both hands through his disheveled hair. “She’s pregnant.”

“Is it yours?” Brandon asked.

Seth spun on him. Fury tightened every muscle in his body, and he started to bring his fists up. He would kill him! “Why do you always have to laugh at everything? Why is everything always such a big, fucking joke to you?” Bitterness washed through Seth. “It’s that flippant attitude of yours that’s kept me trapped in a position I hate for almost ten years.”

“Don’t raise your fists to me unless you mean business, bro,” Brandon drawled, his eyes narrowed. “You’ve trapped yourself. When will you figure out that what you see as family duty allows everyone to walk all over you?”

Seth stalked toward his brother, almost unable to control the anger that tightened his every muscle. Brandon put his hands up and backed up a couple of steps. “I’m not fighting with you. Not now, right before Stacey’s wedding. And I wasn’t trying to be a smart ass. You haven’t seen Tessa in several months. It’s a logical question.”

“It wouldn’t be if you knew her better!” Seth snapped. His shoulders slumped. He turned away from his brother and rubbed his gritty eyes before he half-covered his face and swallowed around the ache in his throat. “You would never say that, never even think it, if you knew her the way I do.”

“Seth?” Brandon’s voice had gone quiet and serious. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah.” Seth’s mouth quirked in a half smile, though that was the very last thing he felt like doing at the moment. He turned toward the steps. “Everything’s great. Tessa’s pregnant with my child, she turned my proposal down flat and told me to get out. Yeah, everything’s great. I better get ready. We’ll be late.”