Balancing Act (25 page)

Seth sprinted up the stairs. In a couple minutes, the shower in the master bath blasted him with jets of hot water.

Nothing was okay, and it wasn’t just with Tessa. Over the last six months, his dissatisfaction with his life had mushroomed. He was a journalist, not a corporate executive. The Midwest merger had reminded him of that.

He wasn’t sure he could go back to freelancing. God knew those four years he’d rebelled against the family yoke had been some of his best. He’d covered every political hotspot from Central America to the Middle East. He’d known then they couldn’t last, but right now, anything looked better than where he was.

As tired as he was of always bowing to family responsibility, Seth had a wedding to attend. He made it through the ceremony and the luncheon reception that followed, making all the right responses, but his mind was still on Tessa and the pain of her rejection.

Seth kissed Stacey and shook hands with Jason Winchester, her new husband. He found the groom’s parents and spoke with them for a few minutes before going in search of his own. After kissing his mother on the cheek, he nodded to his father.

“I have an appointment this evening. Please excuse me,” he told his mother.

“Can’t it wait, son?” she asked. “The bride and groom haven’t even left.”

Seth sighed. Duty. The chain that had bound him his entire life. This time it would be different.

“No. It can’t. I’ll beg their forgiveness later.”

Brandon caught up with him as he headed for the door. “You need a ride?”

Seth shook his head. “No. Thanks anyway. I’ll catch a cab. I need to get away. There’s nothing pending at work. I’m leaving for a while.”

“Seth?” Brandon grasped his arm, not letting go.

“I can’t stay anymore, Bran. I just can’t do it any longer.”

Brandon released him. “Be careful, man.”

Seth nodded and was gone.

Chapter 14

“What happened to your face?” They were the first words out of Zach’s mouth when he stumbled into the living room still clad in his Spiderman pajamas.

Tessa hadn’t thought about needing to explain the bruises, and she hesitated for a second as her mind raced. She couldn’t tell him the truth, not even close.

“I tripped on the sidewalk steps when I came home last night and hit my face,” she said.

“Does it hurt?”

“Some,” Tessa admitted, relieved Zach was still at the age where he seldom looked beyond what he was told. Still, when Tuesday rolled around, it took a considerable amount of make-up to hide the bruising. She dressed in a boxy suit with a long enough jacket to cover the fact she couldn’t zip the skirt all the way closed.

Roberto took one look at her and said, “Who roughed you up? The big guy James mentioned to me?”

“No,” Tessa said. “It wasn’t Seth. It was that cousin of mine who’s been in here a couple of times.”

Roberto tilted his head to one side. “You want to press charges? Or shall I handle it with a few phone calls?”

Tessa shook her head. “No, I don’t think either one will be necessary. I don’t think he’ll be back. I’m grateful you’ve created this position for me, Roberto.”

He raised one dark brow. “Just so we understand one another,
nina
, I didn’t create any position for you. I need help back here with the business end, and I’m dumping it right in your lap, or at least what will be left of your lap in a few months. Once you get a look at the books, you might be wishing you were still out on the floor.”

Over the next month, Tessa remembered those words. Roberto wasn’t kidding. His business office was a mess. She reorganized his files, straightened out his books, and cleaned up the office until he looked at her with one raised, dark brow. “Are you always like this?”

Tessa smiled at him. “Like what?”

“Hyper-organized and hyperactive?”

Tessa tilted her head. “I prefer to think of it as efficient.” That’s what Seth had always said.

* * * *

It was early December. The weather had turned cold and dreary. Tessa dropped Zach at school and headed to a local shopping center to run errands before going home to catch more sleep. As she pulled into a parking spot, she recalled how Zach had taken the news of her pregnancy. His calmness helped to ease her mind on at least one score. Seth was a different matter. She’d heard nothing from him since he’d walked out of her place after her refusal to marry him.

Christmas decorations were up everywhere, and it seemed each store had its own individual piped in holiday music. As she walked along, Tessa was having a tough time getting in the Christmas spirit. She had felt the baby move for the first time yesterday at work. She’d been alone in the back office and hadn’t been able to share it with anyone. For an instant, she had longed to pick up the phone and call Seth, have him come over and watch his leonine features light with pleasure.

She couldn’t get him from her mind this morning. She wondered how he would have reacted had this been a regular pregnancy in a regular relationship. She could almost feel his capable hand splayed across her belly and see the intent look on his lean face, the dimples that would have appeared with the grin when he felt the movement beneath his hand.

Tessa turned away from the display of Christmas decorations and hurried out of the store. Her eyes were downcast so she had no way of seeing before she ran headlong into a tall masculine form. Her heart skipped a beat. For an instant, hope flared, but when she looked up, it was into the face of Brandon Barrett. She sagged against his supporting hands in disappointment.

“Tessa?” he exclaimed, tone incredulous as his hazel gaze slid down over her swelling stomach.

“Hello, Mr. Barrett,” she responded, feeling awkward beyond belief, not sure what Seth might have said to him. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t watching where I was going.”

“How are you?” Brandon asked, his eyes once again on her stomach.

“Fine. I…we’re fine.”

Brandon’s eyes met hers. “He left, you know. Seth.”

Tessa’s eyes flicked up to Brandon’s and skittered away.

“He quit,” Brandon continued. “A few days after he last saw you.” As Tessa started to pull away, Brandon held her with just enough firmness to let her know she would stay and listen to him. “They fought, he and my father, like I’ve never heard before. Then he left. He’s in Afghanistan, as far as I know. Not that he communicates often. He calls Anna or me every once in a while.”

Tessa stared at him, trying to keep her feelings from showing. “Why are you telling me this?”

Brandon let his hands drop. “I thought it might matter to you since he says he’s the father of the child you’re carrying.” He looked her up and down again, this time with contempt. “Maybe you did him a favor. Seth needs a woman who can love him and let him know it, not some ice-queen who’s too self-absorbed to even consider what’s best for the brother she’s caring for or the baby she’s carrying.”

He stalked off, leaving Tessa staring at the Christmas tree twinkling a few feet from where she stood. Afghanistan? Seth had left Barrett and gone to
Afghanistan
?

Later, she couldn’t remember driving home, but she did remember what followed. A sheriff’s car was parked in front of her house.

Tessa climbed from the vehicle and locked it behind her, dread churning inside her.

“Miss Tessa Edwards?” an older deputy asked.

“Yes.”

He handed her a thick envelope. “This is for you. Have a good day, Miss.”

She stared down at the manila envelope. She didn’t need to open it to know what it was. Uncle Edwin and Aunt Kathleen. Like an automaton, she climbed the steps and opened the door to the apartment. She let her purse fall near the door and collapsed on the couch. Her fingers trembled as she tore open the envelope.

They were suing for custody, this time citing her place of employment and the hours she worked as contributing to an unsavory and inappropriate environment. Tessa’s shoulders sagged in defeat. There would be no Seth to step in to help this time. And this time, she feared Uncle Edwin and Aunt Kathleen would win. The ultimate irony was she would turn twenty-five in one more month.

* * * *

Seth logged off and closed the lid on his laptop. He sat on a too-small chair in a cheap hotel room on the edge of Kabul. He’d found a steady market for articles that focused on the everyday lives of the people here. It was enough to pay the bills, keep working, and keep him far, far away from his old life. Most of the time he was too busy, either getting a story or watching his back, to give much thought to that other life. Tonight was different. He checked his personal email for the first time in a long while.

There were several long missives from Anna, telling him about Becca and giving him the news they were expecting another child. Seth’s hands trembled as he saw that, and he clamped a firm lock on his memories. He wrapped up more tightly in the blanket he used to ward off the chill in the room, and finished Anna’s email.

The next mail was from Brandon. It had come through a couple days earlier. Most of it was pretty routine, updating him on what was happening at Barrett and at home, until he reached the bottom. “I ran into Tessa Edwards outside a store in Alexandria. She’s pretty obviously pregnant. I know you cared about her, bro, but I have to tell you I think you’re well rid of her.”

Seth sat in the dark, staring at the wall. Tessa. He’d tried to banish her from his thoughts, and he was successful most of the time. When just staying alive was a never-ending worry, it put a lot of other things in perspective. But now in the quiet darkness of the small room, he let the memories back in. Unflappable Tessa, or so he had thought until he’d pulled her from that elevator in Chicago. Then he had discovered the passion. What they’d shared had to mean something to her. It still did to him, God knew. More and more the feeling assailed him that he had given up too soon. He had walked away when what he should have done was stay to fight, to make her see they could be good together.

He started packing. It would take a while to get back, but he’d thought about returning home for Christmas anyway. As much as he loved reporting and writing, he wanted a settled life, not the constant living out of a backpack and wondering if he would be the next journalist nabbed by extremists. And whether Tessa wanted to admit it or not, she carried his child. There was more at stake now than just him. More at stake than what either of them might want.

He’d cut his blond hair short and often wore a headcloth to cover his western roots, but he knew if he stayed it was just a matter of time before someone made the connection and grabbed him. The time for freelancing all over the world was gone. Maybe he’d gotten soft, maybe he’d grown up, but he found he wanted his things, his family. He wanted Tessa, and the family they could become. He wanted his child.

* * * *

The court hearing was the following day, so Tessa visited her attorney, worried about what might occur.

“I’m sorry, Miss Edwards,” he told her, “but this is not going to be like it was last time around. I’m afraid your pregnancy, on top of everything else, could be the straw that breaks the camel’s back. There are too many variables that put you in a bad light.”

Tessa looked out the window in his office. She prided herself on being in control, of being able to handle anything thrown at her, but she had to admit, even if it was just to herself, she was wearing down.

“I understand, but I can’t change the circumstances. I provide Zach with a stable home life, and I earn an excellent wage to support us. I won’t apologize for where I work, nor will I apologize for the child I carry.”

The attorney looked at her solemnly. “Then you should prepare yourself, and I would suggest you prepare Zach that the possibility exists his aunt and uncle will win custody.”

“Thank you.”

Tessa worked that night. As a receptionist, she had to be there while the club was open, to answer the phone and process new memberships. Although the temptation to call in sick was almost overwhelming, she couldn’t afford to. When she got home in the early hours of the morning, she was too wound up to sleep. As a result, Tessa had circles under her bloodshot eyes that even make-up couldn’t hide when she and Zach arrived at the courthouse in Alexandria. Zach, too, looked pale and tense. She had done her best to prepare him without trying to alarm him too much. Mr. Stanley waited outside the courtroom door for them.

“Ready?” he asked, his expression somber.

Tessa nodded, holding Zach’s hand in her own. He squeezed her fingers as they sat down at the table with their attorney. It was the same judge presiding over this hearing as the last one. This time his face was much sterner as he reviewed the files in front of him.

He glanced up at her. “It says here, Miss Edwards, you were fired from Barrett. For what reason?”

Tessa swallowed. “There was some question about my handling of accounts. I did nothing wrong, your honor.”

He looked at her over his reading glasses. “I also see you now work for a gentlemen’s club, Flamingo Road?”

“That’s correct. I’m the office manager and receptionist. I answer phones and oversee the business operations.”