Balancing Act (29 page)

“Shh. It’s okay. Zach’s okay, and we’re all here together.”

“I can’t let him go back there,” she whispered. “Even if they put me behind bars. I can’t.”

“We won’t let him go.” Seth shifted, lifting one of his arms away. “We’ll stay together, won’t we, Zach?”

Zach’s arms wrapped around her too, and she realized Seth had moved to include her brother in a hug they could all share. The arms of the two men who mattered most to her in the world wrapped around Tessa. She couldn’t remember any time since her mother’s and stepfather’s deaths that she’d felt this safe.

“I’ll get hold of our attorney,” Seth reassured them both. “We’ll get it handled. For now, you need dry clothes too. We brought you some.”

Tessa looked down at the sweatshirt and jeans. “Anna’s?”

Seth grinned. “Yeah, before she lost weight, so you might even be able to button the jeans over your tummy.”

Tessa smiled. “Don’t count on it. Every time I breathe, I think my waistline expands.”

“Let’s go raid the kitchen, Zach, and see what we can find.”

Her brother followed Seth like a puppy, but somehow she bet Seth was used to that with all the brothers and sisters he had.

She stripped off her damp clothes and slipped the sweatshirt over her head. It fit fine. So did the jeans, but she still had to leave the button undone. Tessa grinned.

When she joined them in the kitchen a few minutes later, they had found some canned beef stew in the pantry. There was also pasta, but nothing to mix with it.

“What do you think?” Seth asked.

“I think we’re having beef stew.”

Seth grinned. “Have at it. Zach and I will get the fire going and warm things up.”

It was no gourmet meal, but the stew would be quick, hot, and filling. The freezer yielded some butter and coffee that had been stored there, she supposed to keep it fresh. Her real find, though, was in the back of the freezer, where she located a bag of frozen biscuits. She rummaged through the cupboards until she found a cookie sheet and put the biscuits on first before finding a pot and a can opener. Within a few minutes, the biscuits were baking, the stew was beginning to bubble, and she had a pot of coffee going in the drip coffee maker.

Seth stepped through the door, his large size making the huge kitchen seem smaller. He crossed over to her and tilted her chin up to face him.

“Are you okay? Not too tired?” His tone was concerned, his eyes warm.

She nodded, feeling like bawling again. As if he realized that, he touched her lips with a finger.

“Don’t. We’ll talk a little later. Just the two of us, okay?”

She swallowed and nodded.

“I’ll find Zach and let him know we’re ready to eat.”

He left the room again, and Tessa sucked in a deep breath. She was tired, more tired than she cared to admit, and hungry. She wasn’t sure when she’d last eaten a decent meal. The day before? Tessa put a hand to the small of her back and rubbed the dull ache there. She wanted nothing more than to curl up in front of the big fireplace and prop her feet up.

After turning the heat down on the stew and pulling the biscuits from the oven, Tessa went in search of Seth and Zach. She found them just returning to the living room. From upstairs, Seth had managed to find blankets and pillows for everyone.

“Seth says we’re going to camp out in here, Tessa,” Zach said. “Won’t that be fun?”

Tessa’s gaze slid to the tall man standing at her brother’s side. “Camp out?” she questioned.

Seth shrugged. “It seemed like the easiest alternative. Rather than trying to get the behemoth of a furnace cranked enough to heat the whole house, I figured it would be easier, and warmer, if we all slept in here. Zach and I can camp on the floor, and you can have the couch.”

What she wanted was to be able to lie next to Seth and snuggle up against his broad chest. Tessa glanced at her brother’s hopeful face and smiled. Maybe some other time.

“Suits me,” she said. “Right now, though, let’s eat. The stew and the biscuits are on the table. Your beverage choices are limited to coffee, tea, or water. Sorry.”

There was little conversation during the meal. All three of them were hungry. After polishing off two bowls of stew and three biscuits, Seth went back into the pantry to snoop around on some of the higher shelves. He returned with an unopened package of Oreo cookies.

“How’s this for dessert? Brandon keeps a stash stored up high enough where only the tallest Barlow-Barretts can reach. Boy, does that make Anna mad.”

Tessa raised both eyebrows, but shook her head. “Sweets give me indigestion, so I try to stay clear of most of them.” Instead, she poured Zach and Seth more coffee and heated water in the microwave to make herself another mug of tea. She had already put all the cooking utensils and pans in the dishwasher, and now added the bowls and silverware before adjusting the wash setting and pressing the Start button.

“Why don’t we move into the living room,” she suggested, glancing at Seth. “That is, if it’s okay to take our drinks and the cookies in there?” At his nod, she continued, “I would kill to put my feet up for a while, and I think, Zach.” She gave her brother a look through narrowed eyes. “We need to talk.”

Seth paused in the act of adding sugar to his coffee and asked, “Would you like me to stay in here while you and Zach have that conversation?”

Tessa shook her head. “No, I’d say you have a real interest in this since your sailboat is still out on the bay somewhere.” She hated her brother’s shamefaced look, but he had to face up to what he’d done and the potential trouble he’d created for himself, not to mention the risks Seth had taken to find him.

She was surprised, after she sat down on the couch, when Seth tucked a blanket around her. Tessa curled her feet up next to her and leaned back with a sigh. It felt so good to relax a bit. Zach had taken a seat on the floor, not far from the fire, as if he hoped its warmth would give him a little added courage.

Tessa set her mug down on the end table and looked at her brother. “I’ll let you tell this, Zach. Begin wherever you want.”

Firelight glinted off his dark red hair as he sat huddled in a blanket near the fireplace. “I told the judge that day in court that I didn’t want to go live with them. You were the one that had taken care of me since Mom and Dad died, and we would still get along just fine.”

Tessa grimaced. She had hoped he wouldn’t start there, but she had left the decision up to him.

“I think he would have left us together, except for you saying you had no contact with Seth.”

She could feel Seth’s eyes swivel to hers, but she avoided his gaze.

“Anyway, Tessa, on the way home from the courthouse that day, Uncle Edwin started in with how everything was gonna change. He didn’t see any reason for me to go to some stuck-up private school when public schools had been good enough for him and Aunt Kathleen. Then he went off on the whole PlayStation thing, like all I do is play video games.”

Tessa had to smile at that one and duck her head. The truth was that would have been all he ever did had she not stepped in to make him do other things.

Zach’s brows drew together. “The first day at school, the teacher made me read aloud. Everybody laughed. So there I was, everyone treating me like I was an idiot again. I hated it, Tess. For a while at Chesterfield, I’d felt like every other kid, like I could do stuff, you know? But it wasn’t just school.

“Aunt Kathleen’s not at all like Mom, and Uncle Edwin was already talking about improvements to the house now they had the money from the trust fund.” He stopped and looked at Tessa and Seth. “I thought the money was to help me, you know, pay for education and stuff.”

“It is,” Seth said in a quiet, furious tone.

“So I heard them talking about taking a vacation to Florida for a month and finding a sitter for me. And I got mad, you know? I was mad at you too, Tessa, ‘cause when I called you just gave me all that stuff about giving it time… Well, time wasn’t gonna help. So, I decided to run away.”

“Did you go right to the marina?” Seth asked.

“No. I went to your house, but the guy next door said you were out of town. That’s when I decided to go to the marina.”

“How did you get there?” Tessa asked.

“Well, I took the train as far as I could, and then I got rides.”

“You
hitchhiked
?” Tessa’s voice came out as a squeak of indignation.

Zach glanced from her to Seth, who shrugged. Zach looked back at Tessa. “Yeah. So anyway, I got to the marina and snuck on the
Wistful
. I wasn’t going to take her out, but then I decided I would show everyone I knew what I was doing, that I wasn’t just some dumb kid. And when I left, the weather was okay.”

“Well you did the right thing in finding shelter where you did,” Seth interjected, “and you showed the sense to know conditions were beyond you and your boat’s capabilities. A lot of adults don’t do that.”

Tessa sipped her tea as she listened to Seth. He was right. For all the mistakes Zach had made, he also made some great choices as well. She smiled at her brother. “Seth’s right about that, and I’m proud of you.”

“Nevertheless,” Seth stated, “you ran away without telling anyone where you were going, and you stole a boat. Because the police and the Coast Guard had to get involved, we won’t be able to pretend it never happened.”

“Will I go to jail?” Zach’s voice was small.

Seth shook his head, but he wasn’t going to cut her brother any slack either. “I doubt that. But you may have to go to court. A lot of people spent a lot of time and taxpayer money searching for you.”

“I don’t want to go back to Aunt Kathleen and Uncle Edwin.” Zach’s brows drew together and his chin took on a stubborn look.

Seth glanced at Tessa and then back at her brother. “I think we’ll be able to fix that, but that’s not something we need to worry about tonight. We’ll handle it once we get home. Now why don’t you get tucked in there good on the floor? I’ll add a couple more logs and you can watch the fire while you go to sleep.”

Zach stood up and came over to Seth, climbed up on his lap and hugged him. “I love you, Seth.”

So simple. Zach had always made it so simple to show love. Tessa watched as the two hugged each other.

Seth’s eyes closed and he swallowed. “I love you too, buddy,” he whispered hoarsely.

And Tessa never doubted that. This man had always made time for Zach, had always treated him with affection no one could doubt was anything other than genuine.

Zach hugged her after that. Tessa squeezed him. “No matter what you ever do, Zach, I will always love you. You know that, right?”

He nodded against her neck and sat back. “I wish…” He looked at both of them. “I wish I could live with both of you.” He stood up. “I gotta go to the bathroom before bed.”

“There’s a small one in the front hall, under the stairs,” Seth told him.

When he left the room, the silence stretched until Tessa thought she would scream. When she could stand it no longer, she blurted, “Can we talk?”

Chapter 18

They were the words he’d waited to hear. For a change, he wasn’t the one saying them. Tessa had. Seth thought it would take Zach forever to go to sleep. After he went to the bathroom, then he needed a drink of water, and following that, he had to go to the bathroom again. And the whole time, Seth could hardly keep his eyes, let alone his hands, off Tessa. She was so beautiful in the firelight with her hair falling around her shoulders and the swell of her ripening body, like a flower blossom on the verge of full-bloom.

He saw her put a hand to her belly and realized the baby must have kicked. Seth longed to be able to put his hands there, feel what she felt. He rubbed his palm over his chest, looking around the room, its furnishings highlighted by the dancing light of the fireplace. It felt like a home and a family. His family. Yes, he wanted to talk to Tessa, wanted to convince her to stay with him, marry him, let him love her like he longed to do. She had come to him for help. He had to be able to take that as a sign she felt something for him.

She caught him staring, and his face heated as he made himself hold her gaze. He wanted her to see what he felt. She was his. No matter how this turned out, she would always be his in his heart.

She didn’t look away. Her cheeks were flushed. He didn’t know if that was from the fire or from her feelings. He hoped it was the latter, hoped she was as torn out of her frame at this moment as he was. If he’d been a boat, he’d have been floundering. Hell, he felt like he was anyway, floundering in fifty-foot waves that were about to crest over top of him. Seth swallowed, his nerves stretching to breaking point, and glanced back at Zach. Much as he loved the kid, if he didn’t go to sleep soon, Seth might have to knock him out.

At last, Zach settled into sleep. Seth patted the spot next to him on the couch, holding his breath as he wondered whether Tessa would take up his invitation. There was such uncertainty as she moved closer to him. His heart pounded and he felt his body stir with need. God, he didn’t want her to think that was all he wanted. She was so much more than a lover. Seth wanted all of her, in every part of his life she was willing to share. When her arms burrowed around him and she rested her head against his chest, he leaned his against the back of the couch and released a deep, shuddering sigh. He blinked. He wouldn’t cry. Would. Not. With a bit of hesitation, he brought his hand down and stroked it over the silky curtain of her hair. He wanted her here, like this, forever, but there were things they needed to take care of. Hurts that needed to be healed, and air that needed to be cleared.