Balancing It All: My Story of Juggling Priorities and Purpose (7 page)

Whenever it was possible schedule-wise, Mom would make sure our whole family could go on work trips with me. We would typically receive two first-class plane tickets for on-location shoots—one for me and one for Mom. But we knew it would be more fun if we all went, so Mom would exchange those tickets for a handful of economy tickets so my dad and sisters could come along to make it more enjoyable for all of us. Remember those Hawaii episodes on
Full House
and
Growing Pains
? My whole family was there. We were all in Orlando, too, for the Disney World episodes!

In addition to my parents and my manager, I had three other adults in my life who made sure I enjoyed my job. Bob Saget, Dave Coulier, and John Stamos definitely ensured everyone had a great time on the set. If you remember D.J.’s date with some guy in a van, you’ll love hearing the backstory to that pre-tape night. For reasons I don’t recall, the night had gotten late, my legal working hours were almost up, and we were in a rush to finish up. D.J. was supposed to be “making out” with her date in his van, and Danny, Jesse, and Joey were supposed to spy on them, catch them kissing (or worse), and rescue their little girl. Giddiness set in and the guys couldn’t keep it together. They’d walk around the corner of the van, starting out with concerned expressions, only to bust into laughter halfway through their lines. This went on for what seemed like forever! Take one, take ten, take twenty-five! The producers and director were tired and pleaded with the guys to get in one good and usable take. They agreed to get it together. However, the next time they rounded the corner of the van, they had their tuxedo pants down around their ankles, boxer shorts showing under their white button-down shirts and jackets, looking like penguins! We all just roared. It was absolutely hysterical and I’ll never forget it.

One time we were all goofing off so much—mostly the guys, really—that the director Joel Zwick got really upset and called for an immediate meeting with the cast to have a stern talk with us. But when we all met in the green room, what he wasn’t expecting were four little angelic faces (me, Jodie, Mary Kate, and Ashley) looking up at him among the guys. He couldn’t quite yell at us the way he intended to with just the guys, and he basically melted. So thanks to us girls, we ended up hearing only a very moderate speech about getting the job done and pulling it together.

If you had to sum up my years on
Full House
in one word,
laughing
would be it. Bob Saget and Dave Coulier were always cracking jokes, many of which were inappropriate for kids, although they were never direct. Our moms were always there, watching from the audience seats even during rehearsals, to make sure nothing crossed the line. I think they thought most of the jokes went over our heads, but I was more mature than my actual age, so I caught on pretty fast. I kept it a secret that I understood most of it, because I didn’t want to be excluded from anything.

As you can see, I’ve had a blast on the set throughout my career, and having a great group of people to work with makes it even better. It was even more enjoyable a few years into the show when my sister Bridgette started working behind the scenes as my stand-in. I think it’s telling that my clearest memories from my
Full House
days are of us simply having fun together.

“The Right Stuff”

Though it was fantastic to have adults that made sure I had a great time while working, having fun outside of work as a teen was a must! Because my parents didn’t want us kids involved in the Hollywood lifestyle, we didn’t go to many industry parties. That didn’t really bother me, because I enjoyed spending time with my family and friends at home or doing things other normal teenagers did for entertainment. I wasn’t really jealous of the kids who did get to go to the parties because it wasn’t something that interested me all that much in the first place. My mom and dad did a good job of talking it down, which just reminds me as a parent that if you say something over and over to your child, it eventually sinks in!

However, my parents did break down and allow us to go to a couple of Hollywood parties when they seemed to really matter to us. The most memorable one for my sisters and me was one that was hosted by
Bop
magazine. The New Kids on the Block were going to be there, and my sisters were dying to meet them. Okay, I’ll admit it . . . I was too! Mom and Dad agreed to let us go if Sarah went along with us. Sarah was a college student and was Bridgette and Melissa’s homework tutor. She really acted as a mentor to all of us girls. We loved her, she loved us, and our parents obviously trusted her with our lives, because otherwise I don’t think they would have agreed to let us go to that party. Bridgette and I were the talk of the set that week, and Andrea Barber (aka Kimmy Gibbler) was totally envious. And that brings me to our current adult obsession with NKOTB. D.J. and Kimmy live on! Andrea and I go to their concert together every time they’re in town. And Andrea just ran a 10K with Joey McIntyre as a teammate! Who’s jealous now?

So, I didn’t go to many parties . . . but what about boys? Aren’t boys a big part of a teenage girl’s fun? Honestly, I didn’t have much time for boys and was very naïve, and I must say that my parents didn’t seem too inclined to try to “balance” my life in that area!

My first crush was on Fred Savage (admit it, ’80s ladies, he was one of yours too!), but my first non-celebrity crush was a boy from youth group at my church. We would talk on the phone a lot, but it wasn’t long before he started making fun of me talking about working. He asked me why I called it “work” or “my job.” He said it wasn’t really work; it was just fun. I got really defensive about it because while it was fun, it was a lot of work. Most weeks I worked more hours than most adults did. As a result of his attitude, I invited him to come to a taping so he could get a glimpse of what I did every week. In true teenage girl fashion, after I proved my point I no longer had any interest in him.

And because we’re still talking boys, I often get asked if I ever had a crush on John Stamos. Truth be told, I didn’t, and it’s probably because I was so young when the show started. He really was like a cool uncle to me, so thankfully I never had to deal with that weird, awkward phase!

During the final season of
Full House
I met my husband, and then the fun really began . . . but I’ll tell you all about that in the next chapter.

Making Room for Fun

So how do I make sure to enjoy life as an adult? Well, a lot of my fun includes Natasha, Lev, and Maks. One of our favorite things to do is having dance parties in the living room. I even bought strobe lights for full effect. You can also often find me singing really loudly and rocking out in the car on our way to school and hockey practice. Trust me, your kids will love this, especially your teenagers! We take videos of just about everything. I love making movies with my kids. Those three write and direct the movies, and after the video has been shot, they’re pros at editing the content on our trusty Mac. Our fun also involves a lot of physical activity. We work out together, usually taking twenty-five-minute jogs three times a week before school. That doesn’t always seem like a great time to them, but we’ll often race to the imaginary finish line, which puts a smile back on their faces! Since we live so close to the ocean, we spend a lot of time at the beach. We ride bikes on the beach path, fly a kite, skim and boogie board, and just dig big holes in the sand and bury each other up to our necks.

Based on my experiences as a child and what I’ve observed and done as an adult, I believe it’s hugely important for adults to do what they can to help balance the lives of the kids for whom they’re responsible. Depending on the situation, some kids might need more fun in their lives, while others need less fun and more structure. Each child is different, and each family has its own priorities, so the picture won’t always look the same. But all kids need a balance of school, chores, fun, family time, and so on. Too much or too little of one thing can throw everything out of balance and have an adverse effect on the child’s development. I’m grateful that I had parents and other adults in my life who were committed to making sure I had balance during my hectic teen years, and I make it a priority now to keep that balance in my own children’s lives.

Spending time with my kids makes fun easy for me, but I also enjoy doing things with Val, friends, or even just myself. Fun for me is being able to relax, to which any mom can relate. I enjoy reading a book, watching a movie, having a glass of wine, going for walks, shoe shopping, having lunch dates with Val or a friend, and going dancing. My ultimate fun that isn’t so relaxing is racing in 5Ks and 10Ks that involve mud and muscles! Can you say, “cray cray”?

The ways I have fun may not be what would be fun for you, but my point really isn’t about
how
to have fun, but rather that as you consider what it looks like to maintain balance in your life, that you should make fun a priority. No, it shouldn’t be to the exclusion of other priorities, but that’s really the point of balance—all things are in right portion and place. Try to see the humor in everyday situations and you’ll be amazed at how easy it is to find everyday tasks fun while still fulfilling all your obligations.

Chapter 6

From Russia with Love

Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men.

—Colossians 3:23

O
nce upon a time there was a little blond-haired Russian boy who started playing hockey when he was three years old. By the time he was five, he and his eight-year-old brother would get on a bus alone at 5:00 a.m. to practice hockey before school every day. Once school was over, they were back on the ice. Hockey, school; school, hockey. That was their life. Those two boys continued to work hard and play hockey until they were NHL stars and Olympic medalists.

On the other side of the world in Los Angeles, a little five-year-old girl, her seven- and ten-year-old sisters, and her eleven-year-old brother would get up and go to school. Many days, after school, the youngest and oldest siblings would go to auditions. Some days they would be on a commercial set all day. Acting, school; school, acting. That was their life. They continued to work hard and went on to act in movies and in two of the most popular TV shows of their time.

Sounds like the beginning of a fairy tale, doesn’t it? Well, except in fairy tales it seems as if none of the main characters have a job. These kids were a different story. They knew the value of hard work because they had been doing it for nearly as long as they could remember.

Ecclesiastes 9:10 says, “Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with your might,” and that’s what Val and I have always done. We work with all our might. We both love to work, and it’s actually what helped us really connect when we first met. Some people might say that at points we have each valued work too much, and they might be right. But that doesn’t negate the fact that there is much to be said for working hard.

When you think of a creature that works hard, what do you think of? Maybe a seeing-eye dog or a police dog? Perhaps the oxen that helped Pa Ingalls plow the fields? What about bees that make delicious honey? Those are all good examples, but when the Bible talks about working hard, it focuses on ants. Ants? Yes, seriously—ants. “Go to the ant, O sluggard; consider her ways, and be wise. Without having any chief, officer, or ruler, she prepares her bread in summer and gathers her food in harvest” (Prov. 6:6–8). Ants are hard workers. Whatever their task, they do it with all their might, without being forced to do so by someone higher up the chain. The opposite of an ant is a sluggard—a lazy person. The word
sluggard
just sounds bad, doesn’t it? I sure don’t want to be one, and I never have been, even when I was a teenager.

In the summer of 1994, things were going great for me.
Full House
was as popular as ever, I was finished with high school, and I was looking forward to many more years of hard work in the entertainment industry. Little did I know how everything would change over the next twelve months.

An Adult . . . Finally!

The last year of
Full House
was by far the best year for me, because I was finally an adult! As a kid, you always want to hang out with the older crowd, and I was no exception. Once I turned sixteen and was able to drive myself to the studio, things were really good, but once I finished school it was fantastic. I loved being on the adults’ schedule and being a part of their team. It was so great to be able to hang out with Bob, Dave, John, and Lori all day and not have to worry about running back to the school room to finish up homework or study for tests. Although my sister Bridgette was on set with me every day, I was essentially on my own and could make all my own choices.

When I was in school, I would have to learn all of my lines at home, but once I had graduated I could learn my lines during morning rehearsal and blocking time. Plus, not having to study for school made the workweek so much easier. During the weeks when D.J. didn’t have a strong presence in the show, I even got a two-hour lunch break. I would head to a restaurant with Bridgette and my other coworkers and take the extra time to browse the Warner Brothers company store or watch the guys from other shows play basketball on the courts behind our stage. “Freedom” is the only word that describes that last season of the show.

If you were a fan of
Full House
back when it was on, you might remember that we didn’t know the final season would be our last when we started it. The show was still going strong after seven seasons and we saw no reason to be worried. Nevertheless, one day we were all standing around the set with the executive producers, who explained that the remaining episodes would be our last. Most of us were shocked, to say the least. However, contracts were up after that season, and by that point everyone would have demanded big money. The network could easily bring a new show for much less money and just let
Full House
go out on a high note.