Beautifully Broken (10 page)

Chapter Twelve

             
Cole sat on the couch, his elbows on his knees, and his head down. “I don’t understand.” He muttered again for about the fifth time. I rang out the sponge in the bucket of bleach and worked at scrubbing the words from the wall. “Marley…how did you kill someone?” He asked, his voice strained. I dropped the sponge in the bucket and turned. I was still wearing his shirt and rolled the sleeves up as I made my way to stand in front of him. I knelt down and rested my hands on his knees. Tears blurred my vision, “You want to know all my little secrets?” I whispered, my voice cracking with each word. “My mother never wanted me. She tried running from me. My father never wanted me…they were only teenagers when they had me. My father drank a lot and beat us...” The tears rolled down my cheeks and landed on my bare legs. “One day I came home…my mother was spread out around the house…her blood painted the walls.” I sucked in a ragged breath as I tried to continue. “He came home while I was there and I could smell the vodka from the next room. He came at me…” I sobbed, I felt Cole stroking my hair softly. “Um… I picked up something, I think it was one of his stupid football trophies from high school. I hit him and he fell. I didn’t turn around, didn’t look just ran. I burnt the house down and when I seen the news reports it said there were three people, said my mother, father and I were all dead. I thought I was in the clear. Free…” I sat in front of him in the silence, his blue eyes studied me and I couldn’t help but shift uncomfortably.

             
I waited for him to look at me in disgust. For him to hate me, run back to Sheriff Carl and never speak to me again. He sighed and took my face in his hands, stroking my tear stained cheeks gently with the soft pads of his thumbs. “I’m going to miss this beautiful face.” He whispered. The pain poured into me as what he said registered. He was leaving me. I had let my wall crumble and now he left me broken. “Marley…Marley look at me.” He begged as I desperately wanted to crawl into a ball. I shook my head, silently begging him to just go but he wasn’t having it. Cole tilted my chin up, forcing my eyes to connect with his. I couldn’t understand this. Why did he feel the need to torment me before leaving? “You don’t understand. Please calm down and let me explain it to you. You’ve opened up to me and I think it’s time I open up to you.” Before I could respond he pulled my mouth to his and I sighed, opening my lips the slightest bit. His tongue gently swooped in and teased mine. He tasted sweet and so indescribably like Cole. He pulled away much too soon for my liking and I made a tiny noise of protest that caused him to chuckle. “Just let me explain first.” I nodded as he pulled me into his lap. “You’ve noticed I won’t drive. You noticed when we first met, I plowed into you like I didn’t even see you…” I nodded and watched him as he spoke. Tears welled up into his eyes and he looked down at our now entwined hands. “I’m going blind. It’s a disease and nothing is going to help it. That’s why I left and seen all that I could before I couldn’t see it any more. I’ll never see my wife on our wedding day, never see her smile as we walk into our honey moon suite… never see my children.” My heart broke and if I ever thought I knew pain before I was wrong. This was pain. I couldn’t hear any more. I leaned in and I kissed him, desperate to subside his pain and replace it with the love I knew I was feeling. Love that I hadn’t expected.

             
He moaned into my mouth and sent shivers up my spine. I pulled away, my chest heaving as I studied his heavy lidded gas “Do you feel it too?” I whispered, praying he understood what I was asking. He smiled softly, “Do I feel that sense of falling, every time we get close? That everything inside of you tells you that this is happening to fast and that it can’t be real but your heart…your heart feels like its flying and burning all at the same time? Is that what you mean?” Another tear rolled down my cheek as I nodded slowly, “Yes…that’s exactly what I mean.” My voice was barely above a whisper but as his hand softly cupped my face, I knew he had heard me, “Then yes Marley…I feel it. I’ve felt it since the first moment you ran into me.” Before I could say another word his lips crashed into mine, sending a burning fire ragging through my entire body. His fingers wove into my hair and gently tugged pulling my lips away and my face up, giving him access to my throat. I was trembling in his arms, feeling that at any moment I would fall apart but it was only because of his arms that I was holding it together. His mouth moved to my cheek and up to my ear “You’re okay…I’ve got you.” He whispered as I clung to him. His hands slid down my body and around my waist leaving a burning trail everywhere he touched.

             
Our breathing was heavy and in sync as we stared into each other’s eyes. “I will really miss those eyes.” He said huskily. I shook my head slowly, “Don’t. They are my father’s.” I hated my eyes, more than anything else. He smiled and God did I love that smile, “No Marley, they are yours and I’ll miss seeing how much love and strength they hold. You are so much stronger than you give yourself credit for and no matter how hard you push this town away, you are so much more loving and worthy of love than you think.” He leaned his forehead against mine and closed his eyes. “I love your smell… It’s the sweetest scent I have ever smelt before and at least I know when I can no longer see you, I’ll still have that.” He pushed our lips together, sighing into my mouth as he deepened our kiss, flutters rolled along in my stomach and a burning desire started at my toes “And your lips…I will still have those and your sweet taste.” I licked my lips, dying to taste him again. My heart ached and it wasn’t an ache of hurt, it was an ache that I loved this man more than anything I’d ever experienced. Thunder echoed in the distance but neither of us moved. Both of us afraid moving would break the spell that had descended onto us, all thoughts of the words painted on my wall and whoever lurked outside waiting for me faded away. His eyes dropped to my mouth and I bit my lip. Immediately he kissed me again, almost frantically. We kissed like it was our last kiss. He stood up abruptly, his one arm around my lower back and his other arm holding my legs. I didn’t even bother to pull away from his mouth. I bit his bottom lip, tugging it in between my teeth gently and running my tongue along the smooth surface. His answering growl sent an immediate shiver throughout my entire body. “Marley…If you keep doing this I don’t think I will have the ability to stop.” He held me as tight as he could against his body and the heat coming from it was making my own body tremble with burning desire. I pulled back but only just enough to see into his eyes which were full of need, “Please don’t make me beg.” I whispered before kissing him again. He sighed and my heart raced as I waited helplessly in his arms. I had never wanted anyone as much as I wanted him. When I had sex, that’s all it was. It was a connection for me to feel something. With Cole, it was different. The connection was deeper, more emotional and held me so tightly in its grasp I doubted I would ever break free. Truthfully, I didn’t want to. I didn’t ever want to break free.

             
After waiting for what seemed like forever Cole began making his way to my bedroom. Thunder and lightning raged outside, lighting up my dark bedroom. Gently Cole lay me on the bed and stared down at me. His eyes trailed down my body, making me shiver. Slowly he pulled his shirt up and over his head, tossing it to the side. “Are you sure Marley?” He asked as his hand rested on the button of his pants. His eyes searched mine, filled with conflict. “I’m sure…I’m giving this to you.” I whispered as I reached for his hand to pull him next to me. As he lay next to me I could feel the heat radiating from his skin. Slowly his fingers undid the buttons of the shirt and leaving me lying in only a strapless bra and a pair of panties. His fingers trailed along my skin leaving little raging fires in their wake. “You are so soft.” He whispered as his lips kissed along the hollow of my throat. My eyes drifted closed as I savored the feeling of him on my skin. I wanted him. I wanted him so badly I felt like I was burning from the inside out. His lips trailed down my throat, over my collar bone and in between the swell of my breasts “Please…” I begged as he removed my bra, tossing it aside. His lips moved over them, nipping and sucking as they trailed down my ribs and stomach. He pushed his body harder against mine making it harder to think about anything else. His hands moved from my body, making me feel cold, but he quickly shed his shoes and pants before pulling the blankets over both of us.

             
More kisses trailed down my neck to my stomach and to the top of my scrap of fabric panties. I was trembling so hard that I twisted my hands into the sheets in a very poor attempt to anchor myself. Cole lightly traced little lines on the top of my panties sending me into a quivering mess. I closed my eyes and focused on my breathing as his lips trailed tiny kisses along the hem of my underwear. He followed them as they went along my legs and in between. I was letting out short little moans the closer he got to the spot that was aching for his touch. He lifted up and away from me, causing my eyes to open wide. “Where are you going?” I asked, my voice cracking. He chuckled as he kneeled above me. “I can’t exactly do anything while you’re still wearing these.” He teased as he looped his thumbs into my panties and gently tugged them down my legs and tossed them aside. I was going to come undone any second, with or without his help. He tugged off his boxers and kicked them into our growing pile of clothes. “Are you absolutely sure about this Marley?” He asked hesitantly as he hovered above me. I smiled and instead of answering I leaned up and kissed him. I poured everything I was feeling into that kiss. Every ounce of love, desire, and passion that I felt all melted into his lips and I groaned heavily.              

             
Cole’s lips stayed with mine as I felt his fingers slid into me, stretching me and releasing a little bit of the ache that I was feeling. I let out a soft breathy moan into his mouth as I felt the flutter inside of me. “Cole…” I moaned as I came closer and closer to release, he stopped and pulled his fingers out of me. His lips returned to my skin, tasting everything he could as he positioned himself between my legs. Slowly he eased into me, giving me a chance to feel every inch of him. “Oh…God…” I moaned as he gave one more rock and pushed the rest of the way into me until our bodies were completely connected. He let out the softest of moans as he began to rock in and out of me, pushing me closer and closer to release. His lips claimed mine and with every thrust he made felt like tingles rushing through my body. This wasn’t sex. Sex was dirty and fast and hard. Cole was making love to me. I was feeling every nerve, every touch and every passionate desire. It was like we were speaking without ever saying a word. I wanted to scream and moan his name but his lips stayed connected with mine, not once letting go. I had never kissed while having sex before. I had never kissed before Cole. We were devouring each other as he continued to rock in and out, building the intensity in both our bodies. It was coming and as much as I wanted to stay in this moment with him forever, I was ready to feel everything with him. Our breathing picked up and the kissing became more urgent while soft moans were escaping both our lips. I clung to him feeling my release rolling closer through my body. I couldn’t hold back as I felt him tense above me. “Oh my god…” I called out as I all but exploded. My body shook and it was like every moment since meeting him was racing through my veins, being pumped by my heart. I felt Cole’s release as he tensed and let go inside me. It was something I never experienced and it sent another wave of shock through me as I hugged him tightly.

             
We lay there breathing hard as we shook in each other’s arms. I didn’t want to move as he softly slid out of me and moved downward just enough so that he could lay his head on my chest. “Was that okay?” He whispered and his fingers traced little circles into the palm of my hand. I smiled, finding his insecurity a bit cute, “It was incredible Cole.” I answered as my other hand stroked through his hair. “I had never done that before.” His head shot up and panic laced his pretty blue eyes. “You were a virgin?” I laughed realizing how that had sounded. “No! I’m sorry, I should probably clarify. I have had sex. Quick. Dirty. Raunchy sex. I’ve never made love. And I’ve never been kissed.” His eyes studied me for a moment before reaching up and kissing my swollen lips again. “I will kiss you every day if you let me.” I smiled and nodded. I wanted that so badly. He leaned up and kissed me once more, his eyes lingering on mine “I wish that I could freeze this moment. Right now, and just live in it forever.” His voice was sleepy and his accent much more prominent, I smiled as he lay back down. Everything about Cole felt right. As we lay there drifting I realized I wanted so much more with him. I had never done anything without protection before but with Cole neither of us thought about it, he hadn’t even bothered to pull out. I didn’t care. I was never one to believe in fate but I felt certain that whatever happens with us is meant to happen.

             
Cole’s breath evened out into sleep as he lay on my chest. I wished I could take everything bad away from him. I wished I could give him everything he wanted. Maybe I could. Even with everything crazy happening in my life, knowing my father was alive and found me, I still wanted to give Cole one thing he wanted that he didn’t think he could have. I fell asleep that night the most peaceful I had ever felt in my entire life. I trusted that everything would work out the way it needed too.

Chapter Thirteen

             
When I came to the sun was barely peaking over the horizon casting my room in a soft pink glow. Last night’s storm seemed completely forgotten. Cole was lying next to me, his face relaxed in sleep and I couldn’t help but notice how young and innocent he looked. I wondered briefly if everyone looked young while they slept. I allowed myself a moment to study him. The way his eye lashes feathered lightly against his face casting shadows across his cheeks. Stubble graced his jaw line and just over the crest of his full lips. I couldn’t imagine how it would feel never seeing his face again. How it would feel to never see another sunset, to never watch another storm. I would never think of storms the same way. Not after making love in time with the thunder last night. I was forever changed afterwards. I know it doesn’t make sense but it was true.