Beautifully Undone (The Beaumont Brothers #3) (4 page)

Melody

Asher and I sat on the floor in the middle of his mom’s living room going through some of her old boxes of stuff. Thank goodness she didn’t have a whole lot of stuff, and what she did have was well organized. We were just about finished. There were only two boxes left in the house. The rest had all been put on a truck and given to Goodwill. There’d been a few things Asher kept of hers, but not much, mostly pictures and a small case that held some of her jewelry.

“Mel, why can’t you take my word for it, Alex is bad news for you.”

I ignored his question. Or tried to. All day, Asher had seemed hell-bent on talking to me about my upcoming date with Alex. Actually, hell-bent on talking me out of it was more like it. Why couldn’t he just let it go? I eyed the green clock in the shape of a frog hanging on the kitchen wall. That clock had been around as long as I could remember. I loved that clock. It made me think of Nora every afternoon after school, telling us we needed to do our homework before our mother got home from work. Nora worked evenings, and our mom worked days. They took turns watching us. “Are you going to take the frog clock?”

He glanced up at it and shook his head then continued to search through the box in front of him. We sat in silence for a few minutes then I asked. “Why do you care so much that I’m going to sleep with Alex?”

“Oh, so now you’ve just resigned yourself to the fact that you are definitely going to let him screw you?”

“I fail to see how it’s any of your concern. You really need to get off my case about it. I’m going out with him Friday night whether you like it or not. He’s taking me to a concert. A concert that I really want to go to. If we end up doing it, that’s none of your business. And just so you know, if we do, you can be sure I’ll spare you the details.”

“He’s a creep and he’s only going to hurt you.”

“I’ll take my chances.”

I was looking through another box of pictures. I found several photos of Ash, Ted, and me. A bunch more of just Ash at different stages of his childhood. One for every year at Christmas from the time Ash was an infant. I smiled at the sweet newborn picture of him. His hair so thick and dark, even back then. There was one with him and a man who I assumed was his dad. I’d never met him so I wasn’t sure, but who else could it be? Asher looked to be about three or four maybe. He didn’t talk about his dad often. I don’t suppose he knew much about him. We’d moved next door to Ash and his mom shortly after my dad left us. We were lucky the day Nora called and told my mom that the house next door to hers was available to rent. I think my mom had us packing our bags before she’d even hung up the phone.

“Is this your dad?” I asked, holding up the photo so he could see it.

Ash nodded and grabbed the snapshot.

“How old are you there?”

“Four, I think. This was probably the last time I ever saw him.” He took out his wallet and tucked the picture inside one of the flaps. I felt bad for him. He’d never really had a chance to get to know his dad.

“I miss Teddy already,” I said to change the subject. Plus, I was looking at different pictures of the three of us. I picked up another photo of Ash and studied it. I remembered the day it had been taken. It was his seventh birthday. We were both dressed as Star Wars characters. He was Luke and I was Leia. He’d been such a cute boy. I’d always thought so. He still was, but now I wouldn’t call him cute. Now…I’d call him rather yummy looking. Especially the way he looked right at that moment. His black t-shirt hugged his chest and arms, showing off his sexy, taut muscles as he breathed in and out. I had to blink to stop my mind from wandering back to the vision of his bare chest that I’d seen last night. I stared at him for a bit, wondering what it was that had been capturing his attention for the past several minutes. His head was bent down, his hair falling over his forehead, his eyes intent, focused on something he was reading.

“I miss him, too,” Asher said, finally. The way his brows knitted together gave his beautiful face a sour expression.

“What’s that?”

He didn’t look up. He didn’t even acknowledge that I had asked him a question. He just stared at a piece of paper.

“Asher. What is that?”

“Huh?” He still didn’t look up.

I got up, walked to where he sat, and plopped down beside him. He handed the paper to me and I began to read. It was a handwritten letter to Asher. I knew from the very first sentence that it was from Nora, his mom. It wasn’t a long letter, just a couple of paragraphs. But what was contained in those two paragraphs had been enough to render my best friend speechless. Nora wanted him to find his two half-brothers. She’d supplied their addresses for Asher to go see them. It was the last few sentences of the note that choked me up.

“Asher, please, I beg you. Don’t live your life as a lonely, bitter man. Find your brothers, Jackson and Brodie. You have to believe that they had nothing to do with the way your father treated you or me. Remember, he abandoned them the same way he deserted you.”

I didn’t say anything at first. I waited, wanting to hear something from Ash. Instead of saying something, he grabbed the letter back, crumpled it into a ball, and tossed it overhanded across the room and into the wastebasket. Normally, I would have laughed and said “good shot.” Then I would have picked up another piece of paper and crumpled it too before sending it across the room to the trash. Then we’d take turns until someone lost, which was usually me.

“What are you going to do?” I said at the risk of being told to mind my own business. Asher hated those two guys, though from what Nora had told my mom, I knew they probably didn’t even know Ash existed.

“Nothing. That’s what I’m going to do. I don’t need them, and they, sure as shit, don’t need me.”

I bit my lower lip. I was lucky to have Ted. But I knew that if Teddy and I ever found out we had another sibling somewhere, we’d want to meet them. Maybe get to know them. “I think you should do what your mother wanted.”

“I didn’t ask you.” He closed up the box and stood, ready to leave. I closed the one I was looking through and stood, as well.

“No. You didn’t. But I’m your best friend. And as your best friend, I’m telling you to go find them. If for no other reason than to look them in the eyes and say, ‘phooey on you, assholes.’”

Ash laughed. “That’s what you think I should say?”

“I don’t know. Maybe. What difference does it make what you say? Nora said they didn’t have anything to do with how your father treated you. I’m not saying they will embrace you, Ash, or accept you as their brother. Hell, they may hate you more than you hate them. Or maybe they won’t. Maybe they’ll feel lucky to have discovered another brother. I love my brother and I’m lucky I have him. I wouldn’t give him up for the world. Now you have a chance to have brothers, Asher. They may or may not want you in their lives, but you’ll never know unless you go find them.”

He took a step toward me, closing the gap between us, and placed his hand at the nape of my neck to draw me in close, his forehead pressed against mine. I stopped breathing, unsure of what he was doing. “Ah, Melly. You have no idea what the hell you’re talking about. You’ve never
not
had the love of your brother,
or
me. This is different.”

He stepped away and grabbed his jacket from the chair he’d draped it over when we first got there. “Lock the door when you leave,” he said. Without looking at me, he picked up the two boxes under one arm and walked out, closing the door behind him. I watched him through the window as he got into his car. A minute later, he was gone.

God, he was infuriating sometimes. I stood there, biting my lower lip.
What was that?
He’d never, ever, touched me that way before. And then to just leave?

Good thing I’d brought my own car or I’d be forced to spend the night at Mom’s or beg her for a ride to the Bart station. Neither option was appealing. I loved my mom and I liked visiting with her, but I didn’t want to sleep in my old room. It wasn’t my room anymore. Not with the new yellow and white frilly curtains and bedspread she’d changed it to shortly after I moved out. I’d always kept my room dark. I liked it that way. Not morbid dark, but decorated in dark colors like red or purple. Anything vibrant that made me feel alive and not so little girlish. Maybe that was because I hung around with two larger than life guys all the time and I needed something to give myself some character.

I glanced at the small green clock shaped like a frog still hanging in the kitchen. Crap. It was four in the afternoon. I’d brought my own car because I’d planned to stop next door and visit with Mom, but it looked like that would have to be some other time. I didn’t want to get caught in rush hour traffic. Except, she’d be pissed if I just left without saying hello. I grabbed the clock and then reached into the wastebasket and snatched the crumpled up letter before heading out the door. I glanced at the driveway as I headed to my car. My mom’s car was gone. Good, then I wouldn’t need to be delayed.

The traffic hadn’t been as gnarly as I’d anticipated. In fact, I don’t think it took me more than twenty minutes to get home. I pulled into my parking space and saw Asher’s car in his. The bum. There I was, doing him a favor by helping him go through his mom’s stuff, and he’d just taken off to come home, leaving me there. Just because I thought he should make contact with his brothers? Geesh. I loved my brother. I couldn’t imagine not having him in my life.

I walked past Ash’s apartment door. He’d left it slightly ajar so I peeked in. He was sitting on his sofa; his hair wet and uncombed. All he had on was a pair of basketball shorts. It looked like he’d just gotten out of the shower. A bottle of Jack Daniels stood open on the table in front of him along with two shot glasses.

I cleared my throat and he looked up at me. He didn’t say anything. He didn’t need to. I knew what this was. I stepped in and closed the door behind me, placing my purse over the hook on the wall next to the entry with my jacket over it. I walked to the sofa and sat next to him. He poured the whiskey to the brim of each glass and handed one to me. 

This was our ritual when one of us was depressed, distraught, or frustrated. Except this time, I had to work extremely hard to keep from checking out his naked chest.

I’d actually been waiting for one of these sessions since Nora passed away. I was sort of surprised it had taken this long. We didn’t clink our glasses, we just downed the contents. This wasn’t a celebratory moment. It was a, “I need to get wasted” moment, so I resigned myself to the fact that I wasn’t going anywhere tonight. I’d be staying in with my best friend, helping him deal with all the hell he’d been going through the past several months ever since he found out that his mom had the tumor. This wasn’t the first session as a result of that subject, of course, but it was the first one since she’d left this world and her only son. So, I would sit here with him in silence until he was ready to speak.

He poured the second shot, but I didn’t touch it. I knew the rules. We had to do it together, and it didn’t look like Asher was ready. He just sat and stared at the two glasses for what seemed like several minutes. Finally, he sighed heavily and spoke so softly I could barely make out the words.

“I don’t want you to sleep with Alex.”

“What?”

Surely, I’d misheard him. That was the last thing I’d expected to leave his lips. What I had expected was, “I’m sorry for leaving you at the house” or maybe “you’re right, I should go meet my brothers.” Or, “I just can’t stand not having my mom around anymore.” Something like that. Not anything about my sex life, or lack thereof. Why was he even thinking about my sex life?

“I don’t want Alex Clayton to be your first,” he said.

“I…uh…you don’t have any say in that, Asher. It’s really none of your business.”

“Yes. I. Do. And yes it is.”

“Why? What gives you the right?”

He picked up his glass and waited for me to pick up mine. I knew he wouldn’t answer me until we drank. So we did.

He placed his glass down.

“Because, Melody, I’m your best friend, and best friends don’t let their best friends fuck idiots.”

I laughed.

But Asher wasn’t even smiling.

Asher

I hadn’t been trying to make a joke. I was as serious as a hundred-car pileup on Hwy 101 during rush hour traffic. There had to be something I could do to make her realize the mistake she would be making. I picked up her hand, and her eyes shot to mine. The emerald pools sparkled with the glow of alcohol. I’ll admit, the whiskey was beginning to take effect, but I knew how much liquor Melody could handle before she was no longer in charge of her mental faculties. Two shots were nothing. This girl could drink a two-hundred-pound linebacker under the table. I’d only seen her completely plastered once. And that was because she hadn’t eaten that entire day. I knew she’d eaten today because we’d had humongous burgers at the Relish Bar just three hours ago when we took a break from clearing out my mom’s house.

Tonight’s little “session,” as we always called them, wasn’t about drinking ourselves stupid this time. Not in my mind. I didn’t want to be drunk. I didn’t want her to be drunk. Actually, I needed to be sober and wanted her sober. But I needed just this little edge to give me the courage to do what I knew needed to be done. I needed her here. I needed her to be in this moment with me. I needed to be with her. At that moment, I needed her on so many fucking levels. My mom’s letter…it had gotten to me, I had to admit. But it wasn’t the only thing eating away at my soul. I had family. I had to come to terms with that, I knew that. But Melody and Ted were family too, and I couldn’t let Melody make the biggest mistake of her life without at least trying to stop her. And I was running out of time. Her date with Alex was approaching fast, and everything that Ted had said last night about Melody and me had me wondering.

I knew that making her believe I needed a “session” would keep her here as long as I wanted or needed. That’s the way we rolled.

I put my hand around the neck of the bottle of Jack, but I didn’t pick it up. I was stalling. She sat, waiting patiently, not saying a word because this was my show. I’d started it, and it was a rule that whoever started the session had complete say over everything for the duration of the meeting. The other person was simply there as support. Once I spoke, she could respond.

“Mel, please don’t sleep with Alex.”

“Asher, why can’t you just let me do what I want?” she asked.

“Because I know you don’t want to do that.”

“Yes, I do. I want to have sex.” She picked up the small throw pillow from the corner of the sofa and hugged it to her chest. “I’m twenty-one and I’ve never done it. I want to know what it feels like. I’m always with you when we go out, so guys never approach me. It makes it hard to find a reasonable lay when you’re always looming in the background. Alex likes me and he’s not afraid of you. He’s all I have.”

I almost didn’t know what to say to that. I felt bad that she thought I was the reason that guys never asked her out. Had she really never been on a date before? Was it really because of me? I thought back. She might be right. She never went out on the nights when I had a date. She always stayed at home. I knew this because she’d always tell me about some stupid movie she’d get sucked into every time I had a date. I was her best friend and I was the one who she partied with, went to bars with, or whatever. Yeah, I guess to another guy it might seem like she and I were a couple. Keep them from approaching. Of course, that never stopped me from pursuing a beautiful woman. But maybe that was just the difference between men and women. And Melody wasn’t the type to ask a man out, that was for damn sure. So, it was up to me.

“Let
me
be your first.”

“What?” Her eyes grew huge and her eyebrows rose. She placed the pillow back down beside her.

I cleared my throat. I hadn’t realized those five little words would create a lump in my throat. The prospect of her
not
wanting me hadn’t occurred until that very moment.

“I said, let me be your first,” I repeated suddenly, feeling like a fool for even asking. Her first experience with sex should be with someone she loved, or at least someone she thought she loved or liked a lot. In a romantic way. Not me. But I cared a lot for Melody, and I could take care of her and make sure her first time was wonderful. 

She placed her hand around the neck of the bottle of whiskey to pick it up, but I stopped her by wrapping my hand around her wrist.

“No more.”

“I think I’m going to need one more shot because I thought you just said you wanted to have sex with me.”

“I did. But I want you sober. You’re going to want to remember your first time.”

“But, Asher. Oh my God. Really? You want to have sex with me?”

Before I realized it, my hand was behind her head again, the same way it had been that afternoon. God, I’d been very tempted then to do what my mind and body wanted to do right now, but we’d been in the wrong place. Standing in the living room of my mother’s house was not the right environment. I tugged her close now, and instead of resting my forehead against hers, my mouth pressed against her beautiful heart-shaped lips. When her lips parted out of what was most likely pure astonishment, I slipped my tongue through and let the sweet taste of whiskey mingle against our tongues. It wasn’t until that very moment that I realized how much I’d been aching to kiss her. She didn’t stop me like I’d thought she might; instead, she moaned into my mouth. I couldn’t help the smile that graced my face as I continued to kiss her.

She’d actually moaned during the kiss. I kissed her gently then stared into her eyes for some sign that she was on board with this.

“Asher?”

“It’s not your turn to talk,” I said, trying to stick to the rules of our session. When she opened her mouth to protest, I silenced her with another kiss.

This time, she palmed my chest while her other hand barely touched the side of my waist. She kept her hands still, as if she were afraid to move them.

I reluctantly eased away, but held her gaze with mine, palming her cheeks so she couldn’t look away. That kiss had been explosive, and I had to take a moment to adjust my train of thought.

“I think it’s the only solution. You want to have sex for the experience. Alex will only hurt you. He’ll fuck you one night and flaunt someone else in your face the next. You’ll feel horrible and used. I can’t let that happen. So, let me be your first. We’re friends. Best friends. You know I won’t hurt you. You know I care about your feelings. Care about
you.
We’ve been friends our entire lives. We’re comfortable with each other. I know you like I know the back of my own hand. Who would be better to have sex with for your first time than me?” I let go of her, and she looked down at her hands. I was confident that I’d be able to have sex with Melody and continue our friendship. We’d never let anything like sex come between us.

“You want to have intercourse with me so that I can experience it. No other reason?”

“Yeah. No strings attached. After that, you can go out with whomever you want. I won’t say a word about it.”

She bit her bottom lip. Something she did whenever she was contemplating something.

“And after we do it, I go home and we pretend it never happened.”

“Yeah.”  If that’s the way she wanted it, I could do that. I’d had sex just for the pleasure of having it, knowing I’d never call or be with the woman again. I could be Mel’s first and then step aside, allow her to find her true love. But I’d never be able to stand aside and let someone hurt her the way I knew someone like Alex would.