Before Beauty (19 page)

“
Garin seems wise. At least, I
always thought so.”

“
You can hear Garin, too?” Ever
froze. Was she that strong already?

But Isa shook her head, a small
smile on those soft lips. “No, but I knew him as a child. He and my
father were friends. He was always kind to me.” She leaned towards
him just a bit, a sudden curiosity in her eyes. “The last time I
saw him was when he was in town a year ago, before the Fortress
went dark. He didn’t look as if he’d aged a bit since the day I
first met him!” Her voice fell to an excited whisper. “What
exactly
is
he?”

Ever chuckled. “Honestly? A
mystery. He’s been the steward here for as long as I’ve been alive,
and I believe as long as my father was alive as well. In fact,
there’s no one here who can remember a time before Garin. Believe
me, I’ve asked everyone. He’s just as much a part of the Fortress
as the walls and the tapestries.”

“
If that’s true, he must have some
of that…What did you call it? Strength. He must have some of that
strength, too, right?”

“
Yes and no.” Ever picked up a
stick and began to idly draw with it in the gravel at his feet.
“While he doesn’t wield the strength of the Fortress the way the
monarchs do, he has a strange resistance to the powers of our dark
enemies. It is as if the monarchs were placed here to guard the
Fortress and the kingdom, and Garin was placed here to guard the
monarchs. He guarded me, at least,” Ever recalled solemnly. “If it
hadn’t been for Garin, I might have grown up devoid of affections
completely.”

Isa watched him with curious eyes.
It felt empowering to have her look at him without anger or
fear.

“
So you didn’t see your parents
often?”

Ever snorted, hearing the
questions she was really asking. “My father was rarely around, and
when he was, he was either training his troops for battle or
preparing me for the life of a soldier. My mother loved parties and
balls, and rarely had time for anything else. I went through a
series of governesses as a child, largely because I wore most of
them out before they had time to acclimate to palace life. Garin
and the servants were the ones who watched out for me, and it was
only because of them that I knew anyone else had a family that was
more closely knit than mine.”

“
I see.” Isa paused for a moment
before a small smile grew on her face and a slight blush colored
her cheeks. “I doubt you were that hard to love as a
child.”

“
And how would you know that?”
Ever let out a laugh.

Her smile widened. “When I would
accompany my father here to do business, I would sometimes watch
you from afar.”

Ever felt like his heart might
beat out of his chest, but he swallowed and tried to keep his voice
even. “And what did you think?”

Isa gave a little laugh and leaned
back, closing her eyes as the sun moved out from behind the clouds.
Ever didn’t even pretend to look away this time, staring as rudely
as it was possible. But she had him truly curious. And her smile
was lovely.

“
I thought you seemed kind,
different from your father. Not that he was unkind,” she hastened
to say. “But you talked to the servants as if they were real
people. I think you even spotted me staring once, while you were
heading out for a riding lesson.”

As she spoke this time, however,
her face fell. Guilt and shame flooded him as Ever realized the
direction of her thoughts. He wanted to fall on the ground
suddenly, to beg for her forgiveness, but he couldn’t get his feet
to move. Instead, he closed his eyes.

“
I know my words now can never
make up for what I did to you. I won’t attempt to excuse my actions
either. But,” he took a deep breath, “I need you to know that I
wasn’t the monster you must have thought me for so many years, not
even the monster I am now. I was a boy who was struggling, trying
to be someone he wasn’t.”

Isa was silent, and he was
terrified to look at her, so he continued in a rush. “The memory of
your face has haunted me for years, the way you looked at me when
you fell. You changed me that day. You showed me what evil I was
capable of if I didn’t learn to control my strength. But I couldn’t
accept it. It was too much to bear to realize that I could be a
beast. It was easier to hate you instead.”

Finally, he drew his eyes up to
meet hers. They were guarded, her lips parting slightly as she
considered his words.

“
Please,” he whispered, “know that
I wasn’t always as I am today. Know that I am sorrier than I can
ever express.”

Her eyes stayed wary, and her
hands shook a bit as they clutched her skirts tightly. But she
uttered the most beautiful words he had ever heard.

“
I believe you.”

They walked back to the Fortress
in silence after that, not even speaking a word when they parted.
Too tired to resume his ride, Ever went to the stables and simply
sat beside his horse. The day had certainly not turned out the way
he had expected. But as much as he hated to admit it, Garin had
been right, at least about Isa. It had taken a long time for her to
look at, much less speak to him with any level of confidence or
closeness. He just hoped it wouldn’t take too much longer for her
to move beyond mere warmth. His strength was still waning quickly,
and there wasn’t much time left.

CHAPTER
THIRTEEN

Close

As spring drew closer, and Ever’s strength did
indeed dwindle, Isa’s grew visibly by the day. It wasn’t long
before the rose garden was fairly glowing with its brilliant blooms
of not only pink, but also red, yellow, peach, white, violet, and
even blue. The snow melted and was not replaced. Even the blue jays
returned to nest in the crevices of the Fortress’s roof.

Ever might have attributed it to
the cycles of nature if it hadn’t been that Isa’s favorite paths
were always the ones to return far before the others. And when he
went to escort her to supper one evening, Ever couldn’t help but
notice the smell of fresh vanilla in the halls of the northern wing
near Isa’s room. Nostalgia and panic hit him as he recalled that
before the curse, Gigi had always placed sprigs of the plant all
over the Fortress. It seemed now that she was at it
again.

The dark, wet stones in the walls
and the floors began to slowly regain their white marble swirls,
and dust and dirt no longer covered every surface.

The gradual lifting of the curse
was undeniable, however, the day Ever heard a shriek from Isa’s
room. A strange dread filled him as he did his best to race towards
her, pushing himself so fast he nearly tripped down the stairs of
the tower. After a long and painful trek down many halls, he
arrived, breathless, to find Isa’s door open. Rushing in, he
stopped short to see Isa and one of the servant women laughing and
embracing, happy tears running down their faces. The servant was
the first to spot him, and pulling herself from Isa’s embrace,
bowed low.

“
Your Highness!”

Ever looked in shock from one
woman to the other.

“
Ever!” Isa’s smile was brighter
than any he’d ever seen on her face. She was glowing with elation.
“This is Cerise! She and I were good friends when we were
children!” Then, after pulling her friend back into another hug,
Isa asked him, “But how can it be? What brought her
back?”

It took all of Ever’s self-control
to attempt an even answer. “Your strength must be
growing.”

Isa’s face changed to one of
amazement. “I have strength? You mean, the kind that you
do?”

“
It would seem so,” was all Ever
could say before turning and storming out of the room. He could see
the confusion in Isa’s eyes at his hasty and rather rude departure,
but as he walked back down the hall, he could hear the two women
laughing and talking again.

Ever knew he should be happy. He
had been right all along. Isa truly was the key to freeing the
Fortress from its curse. But this was all wrong. Her power was
supposed to include healing
him
.

He had noticed the servants’
shadows growing thicker in the recent weeks, and there were other
signs like the return of the birds and the green of the gardens.
But as the Fortress was loosed from the darkness that had held it
captive and alone for the last year, Ever continued to grow
weaker.

He tried to understand what had
gone wrong. He had heard Isa talking to the Fortress when she
thought he couldn’t hear her, which meant she had discovered its
presence unaided, the presence that had abandoned him. It was a
presence very few people could sense. To his knowledge, not even
King Rodrigue had ever been able to feel it as she seemed to. She
already had a strength greater than many of the kings, it appeared,
and she wasn’t even aware of it. She was healing everyone and
everything around her without effort. Everything but
him.

For the first time in a long time,
Ever wondered if his plan would truly work. Even if he did marry
her, would she be able to heal him? The Fortress was indeed
preparing her for something great, but it seemed to be excluding
him completely. Anger gathered in the pit of Ever’s
stomach.

The Fortress had betrayed him, and
worse, had brought in a stranger to replace him. Even more cruel,
the woman it had brought was the one woman in the world he had ever
found irresistible. This anger made Ever even more determined to
carry out his plan. She would soon be ready to become a keeper of
the Fortress. He would marry her, she would heal him, and all would
be restored. His duty would go on. It just had to.

Preparing for supper was difficult
for Ever that night. Resentment for Isa filled his heart as he
shuffled down the hall to escort her to the dining hall. And yet,
when Isa answered his knock that night, he felt his breath leave
him.

She had always been lovely, but
tonight, she looked every part a princess. Her blue eyes sparkled
with excitement, and her cheeks were faintly flushed with color.
The joy in her smile was dazzling. For the first time, she no
longer looked like a stranger in her own body, a terrified doe
ready to duck at the first sign of danger. Tonight, she stood as
erectly as her ankle would allow her, and she smiled with
confidence. It was perhaps the confidence that allowed all the rest
to shine. And as much as Ever resented her growing power, he
couldn’t help but gawk at the young woman who stood before him
now.

For once, Isa didn’t stop talking
that night. She had endless questions about what had happened with
Cerise, and Ever found himself at a loss for words, something he
wasn’t accustomed to.

He kept getting lost in his own
thoughts as he stared at her. Confusion stirred within him,
feelings he couldn’t put a name to. Years of nothing but war and
his father’s ever watchful eye had kept his eyes averted from
women, and now it was as if he’d never seen one before. His
bitterness and admiration for her, and the guilt for how he was
using her, all warred within him.

“
You haven’t heard a word I’ve
said, have you?” Isa wore a bemused smile.

Ever smiled politely in return. “I
apologize. I’ve had much on my mind today.”

“
Why are you doing that?” She
suddenly leaned forward and rested her chin on her right
fist.

“
Doing what?”

“
Treating me differently, like a
lady?”

Because he’d made it very clear in
the beginning that she was his servant, a captive in this hell of a
prison. Ever paused before answering. It was hard for him to find
words for the torrents of emotions and desires that suddenly raged
inside of him, and he wasn’t sure he really wanted to.

“
Isa, I know I wasn’t the perfect
gentleman when you arrived, far from it.” He stood stiffly and went
to stare into the night sky through the great window behind her. “I
used to think I knew what I was doing at all times. Rules and
regulations made sense. You do what you’re told and the world moves
along rightly. But this,” he gestured at the dining hall with a
sweep of his arm, “I am not accustomed to this kind of living. I
don’t have rules to follow, and I don’t have words to
speak.

“
I’m trying.” He turned pleading
eyes upon her, begging her silently for forgiveness for a sin she
didn’t know he was committing even now as he spoke. “I want to be a
good man, but sometimes I fear there’s not enough grace in the
world to make me into who I should truly be.”

Isa stared at him silently. How he
wanted to know what she was thinking behind those eyes. Would she
be able to forgive him if she found out how he was trying to use
her?

“
I think you are a good man.” Her
voice was nearly inaudible. “I just think…” Then, as if she
suddenly remembered his station, she shook her head and lowered her
eyes to the floor. “I am sorry. It’s not my place to
judge.”

“
No, I want to hear.” Ever
returned to the table.

“
I think,” Isa spoke slowly, “that
you’ve just lost your way. I think you’ve forgotten the simple
goodness of this place, the goodness you knew as a child. Not that
I know much of war, but it seems like your father’s pursuit of it,
if I may say so, was more than a simple desire to protect Destin.
Sometimes we can get so caught up in protecting ourselves that we
forget to see what’s truly before us.”