Bellissimo Lotta (Beautiful Struggle): Companion Novel to Bellissimo Fortuna (The Family Trilogy Book 2) (26 page)

The door swings open, and I fall in. “What the fuck?” Bronson’s standing above me, glancing down with a frown marring his face.

“Sorry,” I manage to slur, even though I’m not apologetic at all.

“Don’t be sorry, tell me why you are drunker than hell and banging on my door. I have a kid, man.” His tone is low and seething as he glances down the hallway. Yes, I know he has the woman he loves and a kid down the hall. I was there picking up the pieces not so long ago when he was destroying his life.

“I know, I just never thought I’d hear those words after Callie left. Damn, you are one lucky son of a bitch.” I remind him of his screw-ups because I’m going to need his forgiveness.

“What are you rambling on about?”

“How’d you do it? How’d you make her love you after you fucked up?” He can give me the holy grail of answers.

“What did you do?” His sigh lets me know he has resigned himself to listening to me.

“Nothing . . . recently.” I look down to the floor as I’m struggling to tell him the truth.

“Are we talking about my sister?” He tenses up, his shoulders rising, and his voice tight.

“Yep.”

“Am I going to hit you?”

“Probably.” Wouldn’t be the first time over her. I’ll take a million hits if needed.

“Not tonight. I’m gonna make sure you feel it, and you’re too drunk for pain to register. Now, tell me.” He steps into my space, and my confidence plummets. This was stupid. I lost the girl, and I risk losing my best friend with this.

“See, I asked her to be my girl. Finally, after all the dicking around.”

“That’s not so bad.” His posture relaxes. I take a deep breath.

“Then I fucked her roommate within the hour.” I never saw him move, but the explosion of pain radiating down my cheek into my jaw lets me know he lied. My ass hitting the floor jars my teeth into each other. Fuck, that hurts.

“Stop!” Callie shrieks and Angelo starts crying from his room. “You,” she points to Bronson, “go get your son. You,” this time I’m the object of her demand, “sit your ass down, and I’ll get you ice. This couldn’t have waited until tomorrow?” She is looking between both of us.

“I told him I broke his sister’s heart.”

“Shit, Dakota. You have no sense.”

“You knew?” His incredulous tone aimed at Callie.

“We’ll worry about that later. Now, go.” Angelo is getting louder and isn’t happy being ignored.

“Damn straight.”

“Shut it, Bronson. You don’t know everything.”

“I’m not sure I want to.” He walks down the hall.

“Well that went better than I thought.” I laugh.

“Really?” Callie snaps. “You’re sitting here with one hell of a bruise on your cheek, blood seeping from your mouth.”

“I’m still sitting here. That’s a good thing.” A few minutes later an ice pack is shoved on my face, the room stops spinning, and Bronson is sitting across from me, eyes stormy, and the only thing saving me is Callie making him hold Angelo.

“Why are you still here?”

“Bronson, you need to hear him out.” Callie walks beside him and rubs his back. I see him visibly relax, his eyes don’t hold murder in them, and he exhales.

“Go ahead and make it good.” This shit is so good I can barely wrap my head around it . . . still.

I get to the point in my story when I found out my sister is really my mother. “Fuck,” his eyes close, and when he opens them they are crystal-clear with understanding.

“It’s not over,” I tell him. The worst is yet to come. When the time comes that he learns his dad’s organization ordered the hit, he stands and gives Angelo to Callie.

“I need a minute.” I nod in understanding. It’s a lot to take in.

“Hate to beat a dead horse, but had you done this with Bianca, you’d be in a different situation right now.” Callie isn’t trying to be a bitch; she’s just stating the obvious.

“I know. I’ve replayed that night in my head a million times. Every single time it ends with Bianca comforting me, us working the catastrophe out, and me never fucking someone else.”

“I know, Dakota.” Bronson walks back in the room and sits down.

“How does this end with you fucking someone else?” His voice has lost some of the harshness, but I know his loyalty and love is with Bianca. It should be.

“Drinking. My head spinning out of control. Punishment.”

“Punishment for my sister?” He rubs his hands over his face trying to get inside my brain.

“That part doesn’t matter.”

“The hell it doesn’t. What the fuck did you have to punish her for?”

“Her last name. Your last name. That’s all I could see, man.” I’m breathing heavily, reliving all the sensations from that night. “It doesn’t make sense now, but at the time it’s the only thing that made sense. For years, I got to sit back and wasn’t involved in the shit that swirled around y’all, and I was grateful. One fucking piece of paper shredded that. Shredded everything I had known. I talked her into forgiving your dad for his life choices. You didn’t know that, did you? You had no clue the internal struggle she was going through trying to wrap her head around how he could be a killer, a criminal, yet a terrific dad. Out of respect for him, and her, I ended things with her so she’d never have to choose between us. Then I see his name linked to the death of the other person I loved with my entire heart. Dana. I lost it. I didn’t think; I just reacted. I went to her dorm. She wasn’t there. I fucked Anna. Bianca walked in, and I never stopped. She ran. She didn’t stay and fight. Jesus, I don’t know what I expected.”

“Dakota, calm down.” Callie rushes towards me. I’m standing and making my way to the door to flee. I can’t believe I came here expecting empathy. He can hate me as much as he wants, I’ll always hate myself more. The indignity I live with is crippling, and I’m losing everything and everyone because of it.

“Stop!” his voice booms. “I don’t know if I want to hit you again or not. Just sit down and give me a minute.” He could hit me everyday; I’d deserve it.

Callie brings me a glass of water. “Why now, Dakota? Why come and tell him tonight?”

“She leaned her head against him while watching you and Bronson get engaged. She shared that with him. He looks at her like I did when I was falling in love with her. She gave him a smile, one I hadn’t seen from her in ages. I’m losing her for good, and I don’t know what to do.”

“Let it happen.” She takes my hand and squeezes it.

“No. I don’t know how. I physically can’t. She’s inside of me. Living without her is unnatural to me.”

“Fuck,” Bronson mumbles. “I can’t agree with you, brother. I can’t blame you, either. What you did was the ultimate betrayal . . . and to my sister. I get it. I’ve fucked up. I’ve blamed the daughter for the father’s sins.” He looks at Callie, and she hangs her head. “I hate that you hurt her, but I know you love her. I remember everything you put up with just to get her. The denial from her, the waiting while she played games. All of it. It isn’t tit for tat here, and I don’t know if I can help at all, but I’ll talk to her.”

“No,” Callie whispers.

“Thank you,” I tell him.

“Callie, yes. She needs to hear from me. I can’t guarantee it will change her mind, and I won’t try and change it. I’ll give her my perspective, and that’s all I can do.”

“She needs to come to terms with it. On her own,” Callie chastises him.

“She will. She needs to hear it from a male perspective…one who isn’t groveling at her feet, and not the one who ripped her world apart.”

“Fuck,” this time Callie whispers it. “They’re coming over for lunch before heading back. You better be ready, and I swear to Christ if she cries I’ll castrate you, Bronson, and you can kiss your wish of a daughter good bye.”

“I’m rethinking the daughter thing. I can’t deal with this shit from my daughter.”

“For that, I hope we have twin . . . GIRLS!”

“If you hurt her again, Dakota, I’ll kill you myself. We won’t come back from it.” I know Bronson means it. He loves his sister, and I’m damn lucky he’s been in a position that he didn’t make the best decisions.

“I won’t hurt her. Not ever again.” My eyes meet him directly, and I sit up straight. I can say that with the utmost assurance.

He who has loved and who betrays love does harm not only to the image of the past, but to the past itself.

~
Theodor Adorno

Chapter 25

Bianca

Guilt. That’s all I feel as I exit the restaurant, and Heath sees me crying and distraught over my words with Dakota. It’s not fair to him, and he doesn’t deserve this. He takes a few steps towards me, and I stop. Seeing my reaction, he halts his advance.

“Do you want me to give you a few minutes so you can talk to your mom?”

“No, I don’t want to talk to my mom. I don’t want you to see me like this.” He begins his advance again.

“It’s fine, gorgeous. I’m okay. I don’t expect you to be healed overnight. You carried this baggage for a long time. Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not with you. I’m sorry, but it doesn’t feel right.”

“Okay, I won’t push it. I’m not asking that of you, but one day I want to be the man you come to with everything. I know it’s going to take some time to build that trust, but there is nothing you can’t tell me.”

“Ugh,” I stomp my foot.

He chuckles at me. He is infuriating with his patience and words. I want him to yell at me, force me to make a decision. “Come on, let’s get going.” He pulls me to the car, and we ride in silence.

Once we drop my mom off and get back to the room, my insides are twisting. He throws a shirt and pair of boxers at me to change into. “Gorgeous, relax. I’m tired, and whatever you’re worked up about just sleep and deal with it tomorrow.”

After changing in the bathroom and climbing in the bed next to him, he pulls me close and holds me against his side. “I feel like no matter what I do I’m hurting someone.”

“Why is that?”

“If I love him, you get hurt. If I don’t love him and fall for you, he gets hurt.”

“How about doing what you want. If you aren’t sure, take the time to figure it out. I’m not going anywhere, and the most important thing to me is that you aren’t the one who ends up hurt. If you tell me to, I’ll leave. If you want to stay this course with me and figure out what we are, where we can go, I’m in. I’m only asking for what you can give, remember?”

“Yeah, and I feel like a callous bitch because I can’t give you what you want, I can’t give him what he wants.”

“You aren’t a bitch. You’re giving me what I want, and that’s all I’ve asked of you. And you need to decide what you want, nobody else. You’re not responsible for me or him.”

I bury my body closer to his side and his arms give me a squeeze. “Goodnight.”

“Night.” I drift off to sleep exhausted from the emotional wreckage of today.

“No, Bronson, that’s not enough time for a wedding.” Callie is arguing with him over lunch.

“It’s plenty of time. Who are you planning to invite, the Pope?” His tone isn’t budging and he is going to win this one.

“I don’t think he’d respond to that invitation,” I offer, trying to help. Heath laughs next to me, Bronson sighs in frustration, and Callie just rolls her eyes.

“Two months, Callie. That’s all the time I’m giving you.”

“Well keep talking to me in that tone and I won’t be
giving
you anything.” Her hand fisted at her hip with her tiny ass frame trying to throw off sass makes me snort. “Not now, Bianca.” She shoots me a death glare.

“Negato,” I taunt Bronson.

“Rompicoglioni,” he throws back at me.

“Not again. Do you two ever stop?” Callie groans picking up Angelo.

“You don’t know what we said. We could have been planning your honeymoon,” I throw back at her.

“You were taunting him about being denied, and he was telling you what a pain in the ass you are,” Heath deadpans.

Totally
forgot he knows the language. “Yes, finally someone that can translate the truth for me. Y’all are screwed!” Callie cheers, dancing with Angelo. “And watch the language, if he starts cussing, I’ll kill both of you.”