Better Off Dead (22 page)

She had to smile though. 
This has to be the most expensive dress anyone’s ever washed dishes in.

~*~

The next morning Lucy was yanked out of a perfectly lovely, if not erotic, dream about Gabriel…and the blond vampire Vin…awoken by her grandmother’s angry voice. 

“Lucinda Marie Hart!  Why is there the scent of a vampire on your dirty clothes?”  She was holding the dress Lucy had been wearing the night before.  Lucy silently thanked god that her grandmother hadn’t asked how she’d paid for the dress—but then she realized her
grandmother
was interrogating her about there being vampire scent on her clothes. 

Gram wrinkled her nose and held the dress even farther away from her.  “And werewolf?”

Oh crap!
Lucy hadn’t devised a plan for getting through this.  Her grandmother was going to kill her.  And when gram told her mother, Lila was going to hit the roof
.  I’ll be grounded for eternity.

But you’re eighteen,
a voice said.  But just then something momentous dawned on her.

“Gram, how can you smell that on my clothes?” 

Gram suddenly got this look on her face of complete shock, as if now she was the one in trouble.  Yet just as abruptly her grandmother’s expression changed and the two women fixed each other with the same hard stare.  For sixty long seconds they glared at each other.

Gram finally spoke.

“Your mother’s gone already, and Seth is gulping down his breakfast as we speak.  So if you take a long shower,” She held the dirty clothing out from her as far as she could as she turned to leave.  “Then we can talk.”

Lucy just sat there on her bed, staring opened mouth at the open door to her room. 
What the hell?
  Then she gave herself a cursory sniff. 
Did she really just tell me I stink?

~*~

After a long hot shower, Lucy changed into a pair of jeans and cute little pink tank top with lips drawn in red glitter across it.  Taking a reinforcing breath she headed down stairs to have it out with her grandmother.  She still couldn’t get over her grandmother being able to smell vampires and werewolves. 
And how does she know about vampires and werewolves, either? 

Gram poured Lucy a cup of coffee and already had a plate filled with eggs, sausage and fried potatoes.  Lucy wasn’t going to eat it, but she really was starving, so she grudgingly sat down and took a few hasty bites, and washed them down with the coffee her grandmother had just handed her.

Then she started.

“How the hell can you smell vampires and werewolves?  I was up close and personal with them and didn’t smell a thing.”  Lucy’s grandmother took a breath, about to speak, but Lucy cut across her.  “No, no!  What I really want to know is how do you even know they exist?” 

Gram stared her down, and Lucy could feel herself losing ground in the conversation fast. 

“What I’d like to know, before I tell you anything young lady, is why you were in their company in the first place?” 

“Oh, um…”  Lucy hadn’t thought up a good excuse for that yet.  She gulped and then nervously took another sip of her coffee. 
What’s a good reason to be in the company of monsters?
  By the time she said, “I just ran into them last night,” her grandmother already had a look of total disbelief on her face. 

“Okay, I knew the werewolf from before...” she hesitated, trying to think of a better, more benign excuse, but this wasn’t one of her back stabbing acolytes back in San Bernardino.  This was her grandmother, who was so far the only person in her entire family that truly loved her.  She couldn’t just lie to her.  And Lucy was getting the distinct impression that her grandmother knew a hell of a lot more about this new and exciting world of monsters than she was letting on. 

Lucy was in over her head, and since she knew nothing of these things before last night, she decided the truth would not only be the easiest path, but would yield the most to gain.  Gram could help her...maybe. 

“I’ve known the werewolf for four weeks,”

“Is he your boyfriend?”

Lucy shook her head.  Her words came in a fast, furious wave.  “We’re engaged, and no it’s not a for real kind of thing, it’s just a business arrangement, and I didn’t know he was a...and then there was this blonde bitch, she’s the...vampire.”—it still felt weird saying the words vampire and werewolf out loud—“Turns out she’s the one he should be engaged to, but since they’re different species, their families wouldn’t take it too well.  I really just thought he was gay or something, and needed me to be his beard.  That was until the vampire tried killing me.  I knew she was one, you know, a vampire, right off.  And then Gabe came out of the restaurant and wolfed-out and stopped her.”

Lucy halted.  The scene from the alley flashed before her eyes, and with it the rollercoaster ride her emotions had taken her on—one moment feeling like she was falling for Gabe, the next moment she was terrified the blonde vampire chick was going to kill her, then confusion and fear as Gabe came to her rescue and she saw him change into his wolf form.  It was just too much to sort through. 

And then there was the way he was with psycho Delia.  How could he be in love with a nut-job monster like her?

Monsters of a feather,
her bitchy inner voice jibbed.

Her grandmother just sat there staring. 

“Oh, and we were at the engagement party when all this happened.  Not in the restaurant, but in the alley behind it.”

Gram cleared her throat and then very calmly asked “Engagement?”

“It’s just for show, though no one can know that it’s all fake and all.”  The way Gram was staring at her, Lucy just couldn’t stop the heedless stream of words from coming out of her mouth.  “I’m getting paid a lot of money to be his fake fiancée.  A ton, actually.  Enough that I’ll be able to go to any college I want.”

Gram just stared at her, her expression unwavering.

“So I can get my future back!” Lucy almost screamed. 

Gram rolled her eyes, picked up her coffee cup and took a long, leisurely drink, seeming to savor the taste of her coffee as she contemplated everything Lucy had just confessed. 

“You’re telling me, then, that you entered into a fabricated engagement, to supplement your life style,”—she didn’t miss much, did she?—“and to ensure your future education.  And now you’ve found yourself not only in league with werewolves, but now a vampire wants you dead?”

“Yep, that’s about it.”  Lucy tried to smile away how much trouble that sounded like.

“And if it weren’t for your fake fiancé, you’d be dead?”

“Yeah…okay, that sounds really bad but it’s not as bad as…”  Her grandmother was giving her the “cut the crap” look.  Lucy lowered her head in defeat.  “Yes… probably.”

Gram shook her head and was about to speak, but Lucy said, “I mean, Gabe pulled her away, and they fought it out, but
...”  How can I say this and not sound completely crazy?  But then again, vampires and werewolves being real was pretty crazy to start with.
  “I think I kind of forced her to let me go.  I mean, I just told her to let me go.  Actually I couldn’t even talk!  I thought for her to let me go, and then suddenly she just did.”

“She let go of you?”  Gram suddenly looked very interested.   

“Yeah…she looked as shocked about it as I was.”  Lucy looked away as she replayed what had happened.  “It was like something…some force coming out of me was holding her back.  It really did a number on me.  I’m still beat.”

Lucy’s grandmother smiled.

“Do you know what this all means?”  Lucy asked, feeling apprehensive because her grandmother was smiling like a maniacal Cheshire cat.

“I think I do.”  She said, standing up and retrieving her purse, her prescription sunglasses, and her car keys.  “But I think we need to road test it first.”

Lucy frowned as she followed her grandmother out the back door.  “Road test what?”

~*~

Gram drives like a snail,
Lucy thought.  It was the second time she’d driven with her grandmother, but she had been in a crying mini-coma the last time, covered in special sauce and teetering on the edge of disaster.  She didn’t remember her grandmother driving so slowly, and the way she kept looking over to the side of the road…Lucy wondered if her grandmother could see anymore.  Was she looking for an exit?

If Lucy had known her grandmother drove like this on the interstate, she would’ve insisted she had driven—maybe she would’ve surprised her grandmother with the red convertible?

Suddenly Gram swerved over to the shoulder of the road and stopped.  She’d kicked up a cloud of dust and made the breaks squeal as she brought the huge old car to a lurching halt. 

“We’re here,” she chimed and fixed her sunglasses in the rearview mirror.

Lucy looked around her, peering through the windshield and the windows with confusion.  “This is the side of a highway.”

“Indeed,” Gram said, “the perfect place for a little experiment.”

Lucy didn’t like the way her grandmother said “experiment.”  “Do I have to pick up litter or something…some kind of punishment for keeping things from you?” 

“No, dear,
this
isn’t your punishment.”

Okay, that didn’t sound good.

“I just want to see what happens.”   She turned and smiled encouragingly at Lucy.  “Just get out and stand there for a minute.”

Lucy could feel a grimace slide over her face.  “You’re totally going ditch me, aren’t you?”

Gram frowned.  “Ditch you?”

“You know,” Lucy sighed.  “Leave me out here to walk home.”

Gram raised an eyebrow and smiled wickedly.  “That isn’t you punishment either.  So stop worrying about it.  Right now I just need you to stand over there.”  She pointed to the guard rail.

“Okay,” Lucy said
.  If
she leaves me out here I’m so going to put Nair in her shampoo!

Lucy opened the car door and got out, shutting it behind her.  She looked around and didn’t see anything, except a small blond pile of road-kill.  She looked back to her grandmother.  “Now what?”

“Just wait there.  I’m going to drive up about fifty feet.  Just don’t move, alright?”

Lucy shrugged as her grandmother moved the car away. 
This has to be the lamest practical joke I’ve ever seen.
  She hoped her grandmother hadn’t just snapped.  The stress from having Lucy and her family living with her hadn’t seemed to take a toll, but then adding vampires and werewolves to the mix had to have its own impact.

Gram got out of the car and gave Lucy a little wave.

After a moment or two of the only sounds were the passing cars and the wind they caused.  Lucy rubbed at her eyes.  The dry air was starting to irritate them.  “What are we looking for?”  Lucy yelled to her grandmother.

“We’re waiting.”  Gram hollered back.

“Waiting for what?” Lucy called, but then she saw her grandmother was holding her hand up over her eyes like a visor.  She was looking at something, and it had to be behind Lucy.  Lucy gulped and turned to look.

Nothing. 

Just open road, sand, and oncoming traffic.  Then Lucy heard panting.  She looked down, and peering up at her was a golden retriever, just a puppy, and he was wagging his little puppy tail and panting with his little puppy tongue out.  His eyes were full of excitement. 

Well, one of his eyes was, the other drooped out of its socket, and there was dried blood smeared from its neck down its chest.

Lucy screamed and took off running toward Gram and the car.  Gram had her hands clasped over chest, a crazy look of pride on her face. 

“Drive!”  Lucy screamed.  Gram just stood there, smiling like a lunatic, watching Lucy scramble over to the car, yanking the door open and throwing herself into the passenger seat.  “Get in here and drive!” 

Lucy’s grandmother started laughing, looking happier and happier.

Lucy looked back and could see the little bundle of dead dog dragging itself after her.  She could hear it whimpering and yapping for her to come back.

“Now old woman…or I’m going to drive off without you!”

Gram cackled and held up her hand.  The car keys were dangling from her index finger.

“Please…”  Lucy whimpered, feeling like she was on the verge of tears and a nervous breakdown.

Gram rolled her eyes and said, “Alright.”  She slid into the driver’s seat and started the car.  A moment later they were speeding out into traffic, making motorists swerve to miss them.

“Don’t kill us!”  Lucy said.  But she felt better as they shot down the highway.  She looked out the back window again and saw the puppy fall over.  Somehow she just knew the poor little guy was dead again.  “What the hell did you do to that thing?”

Gram scoffed.  “You mean, what did you do to that unfortunate canine?  That’s what you want to know.”

Lucy felt a nauseating chill well up inside her.  “I did that?”