Better Off Dead (24 page)

Tell the truth?  Why not?
  Lucy didn’t have anything more to hide from her grandmother.

“I wanted my old life back.”  Just saying the words made a wave of relief fall over her.  “I know that’s just shallow and I should be grateful for, well…grateful for everything…but…”

“You don’t feel like yourself anymore.”

Lucy looked to her grandmother, surprised.  Did she really understand?

“You don’t recognize yourself anymore, and without those things you used to take for granted, you don’t feel the same inside.”  Gram stood up from the table and moved to pour herself another cup of coffee.  “I get that.  I felt that way after your mother was born.  I loved her more than life itself, but having to give up so many things, and my freedom, all to take care of this little baby…it was a shock to my identity.  And then Marshal died, and I had to give up even more of myself just to survive.”

Lucy suddenly felt so stupid.  She was complaining about losing a car, a line of credit, and her wardrobe.  Her grandmother had lost most of her life to fate. 

Another reason to be weary of love.
Even now, just the word elicited a little shock through her spine.             

She could feel tears threatening to spill from her eyes, but she blinked them back.  “It wasn’t just the way those things made me feel.”  She felt so low, complaining to a woman who’d sacrificed so much for her family—yet she was the only person in the world right then that understood, or even cared to understand how Lucy felt. 

“Ever since Daddy was arrested, and we moved here…I’ve felt…no, I know that I’ve lost the future I’d envisioned for myself.”  She couldn’t help it as bitter tears fell from her eyes, rolling down her cheeks.  “It’s stupid, and…and really selfish…”

Gram had taken her seat at the kitchen table again, reached out and took hold of Lucy’s hand.  “No, no child.  Mourning those things isn’t stupid or selfish.  Those things were as much a part of you as the color of your eyes.  And losing your future would devastate anyone.”  Gram pulled a small pack of tissues from her pocket and handed them to Lucy.  “I’m just sorry you didn’t come to me with this.  We would’ve thought of someway.  And I don’t like you being involved in an enterprise of this nature.  Even without the vampires and werewolves—which you should’ve avoided—trying to pull a con-job on others is always a good way to get hurt.”

“I know that…now.  But at the time it seemed the best way.”

“The easiest way, you mean.”

Oh god, she hates me…is she going to tell me I have to stop?  I can’t stop.  I need this…

“But that’s neither here nor there.  What we need to do now is get you through the path you’ve chosen.”

“Really?” Lucy said with too much hopefulness.

“Well, if you think one vampire having it out for you is bad, imagine having her family, and the werewolves having it out for you too.”

Lucy gulped at the thought.  She had no idea what Delia’s family were like, but Lucy had a suddenly very sinister image of Gabriel’s very large family all wolfing-out and surrounding her.  The thought that had entered her mind right after the kiss last night, that if they only knew she was playing them, they’d all hate her.  The fact that she’d fallen in love with them immediately coupled with the thought of them turning all fangs and claws, and coming after her for retribution, made her stomach flip over.

“The thought hadn’t occurred to you until now, had it?”

Lucy shot her grandmother with an irritated look.  “You’re just so comforting right now.”

They both laughed, even though it didn’t seem to relieve the sick feeling in Lucy’s stomach. 

“So, as              I was saying, first thing we have to do is keep you moving down the path you’ve chosen…without getting you killed.”

“Again with the comforting words.”

“That means I’ll be expecting him for dinner tonight.  Shall we say at six?”

“Expecting who?”

“Why, your werewolf of course.” 

Lucy couldn’t believe the cheery expression on her grandmother’s face.  “You want me to bring my fiancé—that mom knows nothing about—to dinner?”  She lifted her hands up and then let them fall to the surface of the table with a disgruntled thump.  “Are you crazy?”

Gram looked even more bemused by her granddaughter’s displeasure.  “Crazy is such a misunderstood term.  I like to think that I march to the beat of my own drummer.”  She raised her eyebrows again.  “And yes, that’s exactly what I want you to do.”

Lucy shook her head in disbelief.  “I don’t even know if he can come…he’s always busy with—”

“I didn’t ask you if he was busy,” her grandmother said in a stern, flat tone.  “I said you two will be here for dinner, tonight, at six.  Am—I—Clear?”

Lucy gulped.  Her grandmother was getting scary.  “Yes ma’am.”  Lucy was still confused about one thing.  “But what about mom and Seth?”

“Your mother is working a double tonight, and your brother is staying over at his…friend’s house.  So it will be just you, me and your wolf.”

My wolf…
Lucy felt a warmth bloom in her chest. 
Gabe being mine…

Lucy closed her eyes tight on the idea.  Just the thought of what would happen if psycho-vamp-girl got wind that Lucy was really starting to feel something for Gabriel made her queasy stomach churn even faster.

IT HAD TAKEN GABRIEL
almost all night to calm Delia down.  She was frantic, one moment seeming to believe what he told her, the next she was seething with jealousy and the desire to go kill Lucy.

That thought had affected him far more than he’d been counting on.  Sure, it was important to keep Lucy alive and well.  Not only instrumental for Delia and his pulling the wool over his parent’s eyes, but she was actually a pretty good person.  Even with the gold digging and shallow attachment to high end possessions, she had this quality about her.

At first he’d assumed it was just a meeting of minds.  He was completely goal oriented, and even though Lucy’s goals only aligned with his through their little arrangement, he had been truly impressed by her commitment and determination.

And then there was the engagement party and that damn kiss.

Not that it had gone badly.  No, not a bit.  Their kiss had been more than just convincing…it had been heart-stoppingly real.   At least on Gabriel’s part.

He’d felt drawn to her the moment his eyes had taken her in.  The blood red dress, the way she moved through the room and how she’d effortlessly charmed everyone…including him.

Sitting back in his chair at Enoch Industries, Gabriel felt guilt and shame mix with the lust he felt for Lucy.

How could he want two women at the same time?  What kind of man was he?  He wasn’t that kind of guy.  No, he certainly hadn’t been.  Ever since the night he’d met Delia he’d wanted and loved only her.

But then she had that crazy idea, though it sounded plausible at first.  And sooner or later someone unsympathetic in the family would have found out and the whole thing would’ve exploded in their faces.  But looking back now, maybe it was all just the very worst idea ever.

And now, even though he’d said all those comforting things to Delia, he knew he’d lied.  Even though he felt the same about her, his newfound adoration for Lucy was something too powerful to deny.

And he hadn’t been able to give Delia what she’d most wanted.  After they’d left the alley, Gabriel had taken her back to her apartment.  She’d tried to get him into bed with her, yet he had convinced her that he needed to get back to the party, to smooth the family’s ruffled feathers over him ducking out on the party.

And truthfully, he had wanted to see Lucy again.  He wanted it so much that he couldn’t disguise it.  He only hoped that Delia wouldn’t pick up on it. 

He needed time to think, to weigh what he felt and what he knew, and to figure out what the hell he was doing and going to do.  He needed to figure out what he really felt for both Delia and Lucy, and he needed to do it before he saw either one of them again.  He couldn’t keep doing this, hurting them and keeping them in the dark.  Not that Lucy was in the dark.  She’d been a little cold when he returned to the party, but that had only lasted so long.  By the time she’d left they were starting to look at each other in that infuriatingly infatuated way again.

He’d wanted to follow her home, to grab her and hold her and kiss her beautiful, pouty lips.  But he hadn’t.  He’d gone home and tried his best to get some sleep.  But what he’d dreamed of fitfully was all Lucy, and he’d woken more than once hungering for her to be beside him, to be in his arms.

Laurel’s voice sang over the intercom.  “Your fiancée, line one.” 

Gabriel snatched the receiver up so fast he almost dropped it.  All his thoughts of trying to distance himself from Lucy until he’d figured things out flew out the window as he said, breathlessly, “Lucy?  What can I do for you?”

~*~

To Lucy’s utter amazement Gabriel not only sounded happy to hear from her, he jumped at the chance to come to her grandmother’s for dinner.  Lucy had a confusing moment where she envisioned Gabe as a cute little puppy, wagging its little puppy tail, and then said puppy morphed into a huge, fur and fang and claws and bulging muscled werewolf.  The image was as unsettling as it was exciting.

And then Lucy broke the news that her grandmother knew about him being a werewolf, “And I kind of told her about Delia…and our little arrangement.”

She heard Gabe’s breath hiss through the connection.  “You told her!”

“She kind of could smell you and Delia on my clothes.”

“She could smell us?”

“Yeah, and she knew right off what you were, so since the…since the wolf was out of the bag, I sort of just spilled my guts.”

“How was she able to smell us?  And how did she know?”

“Long story.”  She still wondered about that herself.  Would she be able to do that little trick someday?  “It’s a thing.  So can you still come?  I don’t think she’ll take a no on this.”

Lucy couldn’t believe it, but Gabriel laughed.  “I wouldn’t miss it.  Your grandmother sounds intriguing…and I…”  His sudden silence wasn’t very long, but it did have Lucy straining to hear what he said next.  “And I’ve been thinking about you.”

Okay…sound the alarms!  This wasn’t good.
  Even though Lucy had been thinking about him all day too, the fact that he was returning the favor made Lucy feel like the earth was shaking beneath her feet.  Her heart was thumping fast, and she had a delightful tingling running its way up and down her spine.  Yet the feeling that she was stealing something, another woman’s love, it filled her with a clash of guilt.

“Well…”  Lucy found herself speechless, even with all the things swirling in her head, things that she wanted to say, things she should say, things that if she had a conscience at all she would say—that he still had a girlfriend.

Still…

Just having that word in that thought made Lucy feel even worse.

“We’ll, Gram will be anxious to meet you.  I told you six o’clock, right?”

Gabriel paused before he answered.  “You did.”

“Okay then, I’ll see you then.”  And Lucy hit the end button on her phone. 
That wasn’t a bit awkward.  Not a bit.

~*~

Lucy knew she shouldn’t be so happy that Gabriel was driving all the way to Four Corners just to see her, but she couldn’t deny the thrill that thought evoked in her.  Also she couldn’t deny that there was a big goofy smile plastered on her face the entire time she spent getting ready.  The effort she put into choosing the right outfit, shoes, makeup and what earrings she’d where—the same pair she had on last night…the same perfume too—said she was way too eager to see him again.

Guilt splashed cold water on her face every time thoughts of Gabe made her a little too happy.  She kept trying to remind herself that only a day ago she hadn’t liked Gabriel at all.  The thought that she would actually be feeling something warm and gushy for him twenty-four hours later would’ve made her laugh. 

But that was yesterday.  Unfortunately, Lucy hadn’t felt this sinking, overwhelming guilt yesterday either.  Two new, nearly equally matched intense emotions thundered in her head, her chest and belly, and roiled just under her flesh.  It wasn’t funny.

Lucy found herself sitting out on the front porch, trying to inhale enough fresh air to drown out her conflicting emotions.  It wasn’t working.  She checked her watch: it was twenty minutes after six—He’s late, she thought with more than a little annoyance.

Rich or werewolf or amazingly hot...where does he get off making me wait?

The annoyed feeling was so nostalgically welcome that Lucy embraced it with open arms, and reveled in how it made me feel.  A bit of the old Lucy…the entitled Lucy.

And then a really expensive looking car rolled down the block toward Lucy’s house: a midnight blue Jaguar XP.  It swung into the vacant space at the front of the house.  Lucy wasn’t surprised to see Gabriel climb out of the driver’s seat.  What did surprise her was how her annoyance with him vanished in the blink of an eye, replaced instead with an intense, rather enjoyable tingling that played up her spine, settling in the back of her neck, and then started to give off heat.