Beyond Famous (Famous #3) (21 page)

Ingrid Michaelson was one of my favorite singer/songwriters.  I loved the soulfulness of her lyrics and rich melodies of her music. She’d gotten more famous, but I listened to her stuff before anyone knew her name. I’d played that song many times, thinking of Brook. During the early days of working on pre-production, we'd talked about anything and everything, not the least of which was our favorite music, books, and movies. 

Brook and I shared so much and were so in sync. No one could ever be more amazing or more perfect for me.   Getting to know her just made me more and more certain that she would be the love of my life.  Even that early in production and despite her relationship with that wanker, David, I knew I had to do whatever necessary to make it happen.  Whatever necessary. 

All the women screaming after me became a joke because the one that I wanted above all others seemed elusive and untouchable. She had been so young, and I felt insecure about whether I should even approach her.  There were so many times when I thought it might never come to fruition.

But now, almost a year and a half later, here in my hands was the proof that she was not left untouched by the love I felt and showered upon her. I loved knowing the words stating her love, were written at the same time I was struggling to control my own feelings. It was a deep connection and it meant the world to me.

I vaguely remembered hearing
Incredible Love
last night while we made love, but I had been so lost in the passionate haze, and the pleasure of her body, and the sadness that enveloped us, that I couldn't be sure.  I pulled the iPod out of my duffel and searched through the songs.  There it was.  I put the buds in my ears and let the music transport me back into her arms and back to the day when she'd written the entry in her journal.

The ache in my chest began to subside slightly.  I'd miss her like hell, but at least I could be certain that she loved me.  She loved me beyond reason, just as I loved her... and the knowledge gave me the strength to get through the next weeks. 

My heart swelled as I let the lyrics rush through me, the music so sensual as it surrounded me. 

Brook felt these things for me before I'd told her that I loved her... I had to have faith that if the bond between us was so unspoken then, now we could survive anything.  After all we had been through, all we had felt and said to each other, nothing in the world would bloody come between us.

Nothing.

"BROOK... HONEY, IT
will be okay.  That boy loves you."

I sat despondently in the passenger seat of my car as my mother drove us back to my parents' house.  I’d put my sunglasses on to hide my swollen eyes.  I felt so tired.

"I know he loves me," I said softly though I was filled with sadness.  "Three months seems like forever.  Our production schedules are so screwed that we'll have a hell of a time seeing each other at all until the end of August for Comic-Con."  I leaned my head on the window and closed my eyes and willed myself not to cry.  "I already miss him."

"What can I do to help?" Mom asked and reached for my hand.  She squeezed softly, but I didn't find comfort in her attempt.  Only one touch, one voice, one face would comfort me.

It wouldn't do any good to lament a situation that I had no control over so I quickly brushed the tears from my cheeks and answered my mother.

"I think I'd like to look for a place of my own, Mom."  When my mother gasped and began to speak, I quickly continued.  "I want a private place that Cade and I can be together.  It's time that I took that step anyway, don't you think?"

“You’re so young,” she began.

I rolled my eyes and sighed. “I’m almost twenty, mom. Plus, I’m older in my head than most people my age. You’ve always said so.”

“I know, but still…”

“But nothing, mom. I need this. Decorating and setting up a place will give me something to concentrate on other than Cade being gone.”

"Are you planning on having him move in with you?" she asked hesitantly.

I thought about it for a moment before I answered.  Nothing would make me happier than having him live with me, but we still had Pinnacle to deal with.  "Um... we haven't really discussed it, but I can't see us being apart when we're in the same city.  I doubt we can officially move in together even though I know that Cade gave up his apartment when he went back to London... last January." 

"He was in so much pain.  I know you both were."

"Yes... but it's made us a lot stronger.  I can't say that seeing him kissing another chick for this film is going to be a breeze, but I trust him completely.  Pinnacle is going to try to spin the shit out of any photos of him with his new co-star, and Cade's worried how it will affect me. So I have to be like iron." A new sense of control and determination came over me.

"What did you tell him, Brook?  He always puts your feelings first.  Even your father has noticed."

I smiled, the corners of my mouth lifted sadly.  "Yeah and there isn't anything I wouldn't do for him either."  I ran a hand through my hair and turned my body more toward the center of the car.  "I told him that I love him more than anything, that I'm proud of him and that I know he'll rock the shit out of this movie.  Because he will, Mom."

She didn't say anything, just nodded with a big grin on her face.  She’d support us, no matter what we were planning, which was a relief.  It was apparent from her appearance today at The Beverly Hills Hotel, so I felt the time had come to tell her about the engagement ring.  My hand went up to lovingly touch the diamond heart hanging beneath my shirt.  I pulled it out and stroked it between my fingers.

"Mom...” I paused when she looked at me and smiled after seeing the necklace in my hands.

"That's certainly beautiful, Brook. It's obvious how much he adores you.  You should have seen his face today after you started crying and he still had to leave you.  My heart was breaking for both of you."

My chest constricted at the memory of him tapping on the window, the look on his face so lost as he slowly moved away from my car. 

Jesus.
  I closed my eyes.

"I know.  It kills me when he's hurting.  I'm hoping that after this summer, things will be easier, and we'll have less time apart.  He... Cade asked me to marry him, Mom."  My eyes snapped to her face, and I held my breath waiting for her to blow her top and tell me I was way too young to get married.

She didn't.  She just smiled and nodded her head.  "I know.  Your father does too, Brook.  We were wondering how long it would take you to tell us."

My eyes widened and I shook my head slightly, almost imperceptibly.

"What?  But... how did you know?"

She sighed as she turned into our neighborhood and drove down the street to our house.  "He came to us and asked for our permission."

Thud.  My heart stopped and my breath left my lungs. 

It was so...
Cade. 
"When?"

"The day after Thanksgiving.  Before you woke up, honey.  He asked us if he could talk to us when I was making breakfast.  He was so cute, running his hands through his hair over and over... so nervous.  He sat down and told us how much he loved you and wanted to take care of you, that he valued you above all everything else in the world.  Your father always liked Cade, honey, but that morning, Brook, his chest puffed up like he was his own son.  I've wanted to tell you for months."

My hand covered my mouth as my eyes welled.  I couldn't speak.

My mother pulled into our garage and shut the car off before she turned to me.

"He told us that he'd already asked you and you said yes, but he wouldn't even think of going through with anything until he knew he had our blessing.  He showed me the ring, Brook.  It's gorgeous."

I felt a sob rise in my chest as she put her arms around me.  "Mom... I... can’t believe this! I don’t think I can breathe if I don't marry him."

"I know.  He told us something so similar.  He said he didn't want a life without you, Brook," her voice caught as we both cried together.

"What did you and Dad tell him?" I choked out.

"I just hugged him and your father said that nothing would make him prouder than to welcome Cade into our family."

"Oh, my God," I cried and laughed at the same time.  "He's so flipping perfect, isn't he?"  I pulled back from her and tried to wipe the tears from my face.  "Isn't he?"

"Yes, perfect," she agreed, "but we are hoping you'll wait a while."

"Cade isn't rushing me, Mom.  In fact, he rarely speaks of it, but I do know that it would make him happy to see that ring on my finger.  He's such an honest person he wants to be real and tell everyone we’re together.”

"I can understand that.  He deserves that, Brook.  If you love him, you should want the world to know too."

"I do.  But we've got these damn contracts for now.  We're planning on being more open during the third film and the managers and lawyers are dealing with it all. Hopefully, it can be sooner than later.  We just have to get through the next three months."

I WOKE THE NEXT
morning early to the sound of Cade's voice on my alarm.  I had the Allure photo shoot and hair and makeup call was at 9 AM. 

Hair.

My stomach lurched at the prospect of chopping it all off for my next role, but it had to be done.  I knew that I'd never throw myself into the role if I didn't fully commit to it, besides sometimes those movie hair people didn’t exactly make that shit look real.  This cover was coming out in November, just before
Don’t Forget to Remember Me
hit theaters, so I still had to look like Julia.  Only hotter, I hoped. 

Leave it to Jeanne to make sure all of my ducks were in a row.  She was my organizer and kept me on track, so yes, this shoot had to be today.  I wanted Cade to see these pictures and miss me. Okay, more than miss me. I’d settle for aching uncomfortably.  I smirked at myself.  Maybe that was mean but I needed him to want me and miss me as much as I missed him.

I searched for a sexy song to send him that he could listen to when those pictures hit the Internet.  No doubt within twenty-four hours.  That fucking shit pissed me off, but it was expected. 

I found the perfect song and typed out an email to Cade to go along with it. 

-C

The lyrics to this are so effing hot and it's exactly what you do to me.  If you find the photos tonight, listen to this song.  Know that this is how I feel and you are who I'm thinking about, with my eyes focused on you, and this music in my head, my body on fire for yours and my heart full of love for you.  You're mine and I'm yours...

I want you... Love you... need you...

-B

I added
Oh My God
by Pink to the iPod library. I knew he'd get it when he woke up.  My heart raced when I saw a message from him waiting in my inbox, the subject line, Leave the Memories Alone.

I opened the message, my heart thumping in my chest as I read words.

Babe,

I don't want to see

The way it is, as to how it used to be…

I'm missing you desperately.  Even one night without you in my arms is too many.  I'll remember everything about you... Your beautiful face, the way you smell and taste... How you feel in my arms.  I love you more than anything. 

Don't ever forget that.

Always,

-C

God
.  As I downloaded
Leave the Memories Alone
on iTunes.  I was running late, so I'd have to listen to it on my way to the shoot.  That song plus the one I'd just sent to Cade would be playing in my head all day.  I smiled as I imagined his reaction.  It was super hot, and I hope it worked him up.

I got up, went into the bathroom and turned on the shower, letting my thoughts drift back to the conversation I'd had with Cade the night before as I stepped under the hot spray. 

He’d made it to New York and met with the director and production manager for dinner.  His co-stars would be on set later in the week, but Cade had some scenes to film on his own first.  My heart tightened a little at the thought of him being away from me and working with someone else on a romantic film.  I wished it weren’t romantic. I had some damn space odyssey dystopian thing and he had a romance. Awesome. I let the water soothe me as I washed my hair and remembered his voice on the phone the night before.