Beyond the Breaking Point (49 page)

What had she been about to say? I love you? I’m leaving you? I had sex with Phillip and that’s why I’m so tired?

Max cursed, knowing he had to get a grip. Cassidy didn’t need jealously from him. She needed his love and support and that’s what he was going to give her.

But what about what I need?

He instantly quelled the self-centered thought. He’d never been a selfish man but then, no one had ever been as important to him as Cassidy.

Going upstairs, he went into the kitchen to warm the food. When Cassidy arrived, if she wanted to discuss what happened with Phillip he’d listen. If not, he’d force himself to wait until she was. He hadn’t given Cassidy a blow-by-blow account of his break with Amber. Why should he expect her to tell him all the details of her divorce? She’d told him the basics. That should be enough.

Cassidy came through the door fifteen minutes later. She put her things down on the small table in the foyer and walked straight into his arms. “I’m so glad to be home,” she groaned as she squeezed him tight.

Max’s heart gave a happy little leap to hear her call his place her home.

“What did your mom want?” he asked to avoid asking the question he wanted.

Cassidy stiffened and began pulling away.

“Damn it, don’t do that,” he commanded, catching her by the elbows.

“Do what?”

Max could tell by her expression she really had no fucking clue. “Pull away from me. Shut me out.”

She shook her head. “I wasn’t…I didn’t—”

“Yes, hell, you did and I’m sick of it. What did your mother say?”

“Max, let go of my arms,” she said quietly.

He instantly released her and she took a single step away, putting distance between them, but her gaze never left his. “She wanted to know if I was coming home for Thanksgiving since Phillip and I are no longer together. We usually go to his mom’s for Thanksgiving and my parents for Christmas.” Cassidy sidestepped him and walked into the kitchen.

“Did you tell her you were coming with me to my family’s for dinner?” he asked, following on her heels. He didn’t know why he was pushing her, but part of him hated hearing about how she and Phillip typically spent the holidays.

“No, I told her I’d most likely be working. With the baby coming, I need to save my time.” She got out a plate and fixed a small amount of spaghetti and added some sauce and meatballs. “But you should go and be with your family. They’ll be happier if you come alone.”

“I already told my mother if you weren’t welcome, then I wasn’t either. I won’t go there without you.”

Instead of being pleased he’d stood up for her, she actually appeared distressed. “I wish you hadn’t done that. It only gives your family one more reason to dislike me.”

“Maybe if you told me what the issue is, I can resolve it,” he suggested silkily, an edge to his tone.

“You don’t need to know,” she said. Cassidy placed a piece of garlic bread on her plate and went to the small breakfast table to sit.

“The same way I don’t need to know what happened between you and Phillip?”

She glanced at him, her expression guarded. “Nothing happened between me and Phillip, other than the obvious. I told you we argued.”

“But you never give me any details,” he said, continuing to push.

She nibbled that lower lip, letting him know he was getting to her. “What is it you want from me?” she asked, sounding aggrieved.

“I want to know what my mother said. I want to know what’s going on between you and Phillip—specifics not generalizations. I want to know why the hell you won’t move in with me and why you won’t tell me you love me when I know damn well you do. I want to know if you’re going to leave me and go running to that piece of shit you married,” he said, finishing in an almost yell.

Cassidy flinched at his last comment and her gaze slid away from his.

Astonished and hurt at what he took to be evidence of her guilt, Max said, “That’s it, isn’t it? You’re going back to him, just like before—”

She gaped at him. “What? No! I—”

Max spoke over her. Didn’t actually hear a word she said. “That’s why you won’t move in with me, why you won’t give me the commitment I need.” His mind made the logical leap. “You were using me to get at him, give him a taste of his own medicine. Now that you know the baby is his, you’re going back so you can be this happy little family, until he screws around on you again, that is—”

“Max, no, you’ve got it wrong.” She was on her feet, eyes rounded in horror.

He laughed and it sounded ugly, even to him. “No, I don’t think so. I think everything is finally making sense. Well, I hope the two of you are happy. You deserve each other!” He swung around, snatched his keys off the counter, and stormed out the door.

Max went to the one person he always went to when he needed to vent. He drove to Nicco’s condo and banged on the door until his brother opened it.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Nicco demanded. “You trying to tear down the door?”

Max shoved past him and headed for the refrigerator. “What do you have in here to drink?”

He heard the door snick shut. Max found some long necks in the fridge, lined the lid up with the countertop, and popped the top off.

“I have a bottle opener,” Nicco said dryly. “What crawled up your butt?”

He took a long draw on the bottle, then suddenly swung around and hurled the beer at the wall. Glass exploded in a shower of liquid. Max stood, fists rigid at his side, chest heaving as he dragged in air, striving for control.

“This must be about Cassidy,” Nicco observed soberly.

“She’s going back to him,” Max said, his voice raw.

“Her husband? No way! If she is, he must have something on her,” Nicco said, his tone so sure that it pulled Max out of his fury.

“What the hell are you talking about?”

Nicco arched an eyebrow. “Don’t you know?” Then he winced. “Damn, I forgot. She said she was trying to keep you out of it.”

“But she talked to you?” he asked, pissed all over again.

“I’m not the one threatening to beat the shit out of her husband,” Nicco said wryly. “If you want to know what she said, come into the living room and sit down. By the way, you’re cleaning that shit up.”

Max stalked into the living room behind his brother and over to the bay window, too agitated to sit. “Talk!”

Nicco slouched on the couch and put his feet on the glass coffee table. “That morning we had breakfast together, I warned her against hurting you.” When Max glared at him, Nicco shrugged. “You’re a Desalvo and Desalvos stick together. You don’t like what I did, piss off.”

Turning his back on Nicco, Max tugged on the cord to open the blinds and stared beyond the glare into the cityscape. “What did she say?”

“That she loves you, but she’s scared.”

Max whirled. “Scared? You’re sure that’s the word she used?”

“Yeah, I got the feeling he had something on her and she wasn’t sure she could win. She mentioned something about the baby being his gave him more ammunition.”

He came over and sat in the recliner. “But she didn’t say specifically? No, of course she wouldn’t,” Max gripped. “When it comes to that damned divorce, Cassidy’s as tight-lipped as a clam.”

Both Nicco’s brows shot up. “Did you expect otherwise?”

“Yes! No!” Max dragged both hands through his hair. “I don’t know. It’s just so damn frustrating. She’s holding back, keeping stuff from me. Like the situation with Mom. She still hasn’t told me what went down. Only that she doesn’t want to go back to their house.”

Nicco laughed. “Hell, who could blame her. After the welcome the girls gave her and what Momma said, I damn sure wouldn’t.”

“She told you?” Max held the arms of the chair, barely restraining himself from launching at Nicco and pounding it out of him.

Nicco held out his hands defensively. “Don’t get mad with me because I’m easy to talk to.” When Max growled, his brother relented. “Look, she’s trying to protect you. I get that. Cassidy strikes me as a lady who doesn’t like to be a source of conflict. It bothered her Sunday, you walking past Momma and the girls without speaking. She could tell Momma was hurt. I, personally, wouldn’t have been so forgiving, but then I’m not a woman in love with you.”

His brother must have sensed Max was at the end of his rope, because he quickly repeated what he’d learned from Cassidy.

“Shit!” he said with feeling as the enormity of what his mother had done sank in. Cassidy wasn’t particularly religious, but she had great respect for those who were.

Max sat there stunned. No wonder she’d been so upset. If he’d learned nothing else about Cassidy over these last months it was that she had a compassionate nature. It probably made her a damn good doctor. And, he admitted to himself, if she’d have told him what his mother said to him, there would have been hell to pay. Even now he was tempted to go to his parents’ house and blast his mother for interfering in his life. Then his father would be angry at him for upsetting his mother. The family would take sides and the whole thing would turn into a big mess.

“Did she say anything else about Phillip?” Max asked.

Nicco shook his head. “I think she wanted to but I wouldn’t promise to keep it from you, and that lady’s trying real hard to keep you from getting involved in her divorce. Got a feeling it’s going to be a nasty one.”

“The judge threw the case out,” Max said shortly.

Nicco whistled. “So the son of a bitch won after all.”

“For now,” Max said.

“If she’s going back to him then he won, period. Did she even tell you why?” Nicco asked.

Max mentally replayed the conversation. With a sinking in his gut he said, “She didn’t say.”

“Well, did she say when? What’s she going to do with her apartment, her furniture?” Nicco asked, sounding puzzled.

Max meet his brother’s concerned gaze, knowing his eyes were stormy with all the emotions he was feeling. “Cassidy never said she was going back to Phillip. I said it.” And a whole lot of other things, he belatedly realized. He’d let jealously get the better of him and had spewed its deadly venom all over Cassidy.

Nicco frowned. “I thought you said—”

Max rose to his feet, unable to sit any longer. “She had a meeting with Phillip at their home tonight. She wouldn’t let me go with her. It got in my craw. I was already frustrated that she wouldn’t move in with me. I even told her I love her,” he complained.

Nicco scoffed. “Like she’s never heard those words before. I’m sure her ex said it all the time. Hell, he’s probably still saying it.” His brother shook his head, his disbelief evident. “Cassidy’s going through some heavy shit right now yet you expect her to up and move in with you, just because you want her to?”

“Amber did,” Max shot back, guilt making him defensive.

The look Nicco gave him was derisive. “Of course she did, but Cassidy’s no Amber.” His brother sighed. “Look, I like Cassidy. I think she’s a hell of a woman and I see why you fell for her, but man, she’s got some serious issues. If you can’t deal with them you need to back the hell up and leave her alone. Phillip’s being enough of an ass. She doesn’t need you being one too.”

Thoroughly chastised, Max grunted and returned to the kitchen to clean the mess he’d made. He wanted to rush home and fix things with Cassidy, but forced himself to stay until he was sure he had a good handle on his emotions. It took another hour.

Nicco, despite his lazy humor and reputation for being a clown, had good insight into human behavior. It was probably why he was such a damn good behavioral therapist, though his specialty was children. Talking with Nicco helped him gain an understanding of why he’d exploded, something he would have eventually figured out on his own, but his conversation with Nicco speeded up the process.

Max prepared his apology on the drive home. Cassidy was compassionate. Once she understood what had driven his outburst, she’d forgive him. Only, Cassidy wasn’t there when he arrived. He called her cell phone. He’d wanted to apologize in person, but the phone would do.

She didn’t answer. The call went straight to voicemail. He dialed it again, just to be sure. Same result. Cursing, he hopped into his car and drove to her apartment. Her car wasn’t in its assigned slot, but Max parked and went up anyway. He had to be sure. The apartment was as empty as his house.

Where could she be?

Max sat in his vehicle, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel until the answer came to him. Erika. The women were extremely close. Thank God he knew where Erika lived because he didn’t have her phone number.

Arriving on Erika’s street a half an hour later, he circled the block, looking for Cassidy’s SUV. He didn’t see it. Still, when a car pulled off in front of him, Max took it as a sign and quickly parked. Maybe Erika had heard from Cassidy.

He knocked on the door. Dave answered. Max gave him a wry smile. “Hey! Sorry to stop by so late. I’m looking for Cassidy. Is she here?”

Dave scratched his T-shirt-clad stomach and yawned. “No, haven’t seen her.”

“If she’s not asleep, can you ask Erika if she’s heard from Cassidy? We had a fight,” Max explained, knowing he’d better. “I left to cool off and when I returned, she was gone. She isn’t at her apartment. I was hoping she’d be here.”

Dave’s eyes went from sleepy to sympathetic. “You might want to keep that part to yourself. Erika’s like a momma bear when it comes to Cassidy.”

Max winced, but he’d suffer the fires of hell itself if the end result was finding Cassidy. “So noted.”

“Erika! Max is here. He’s looking for Cassidy,” Dave called into the dimly lit home. “Come on in,” he told Max, opening the door wider.

“If it’s all right with you, I’ll wait here. I don’t want to cause more of a disruption than I already have.”

Dave shrugged. “Suit yourself.”

Just then Erika appeared at his elbow, swallowed inside a man’s tattered and faded, fuzzy blue housecoat, with slouchy white socks on her feet. She was yawning. “Max,” she greeted him warmly and leaned companionable against her husband’s side. “I haven’t seen or heard from Cassidy all day, which is strange now that I think about it. We usually talk at least once a day. Did you lose her?” she teased.