Bidding War (23 page)

"I've never seen a fresh cinnamon roll before," she said. "Oh my god, that's amazing!"

We ate our rolls, and I reveled in her praise. She asked for a second one, but I kept myself to limit one. We talked for a while before I began to cook the salmon.

Gwendolyn was gracious about the lunch as well. "It's very simple," I told her. "Not at all fancy."

"It's a lovely meal, Pamela," she said. "Thank you for having me over."

"You're welcome."

She got about ten bites into the meal before suddenly she sat straight up, then pushed away from the table and ran into the next room. I heard her answer her phone, and she walked back into the kitchen with a serious expression.

"When?" Pause. "Hell. Get her prepped. Who is on call to assist?" Pause. "No, not him. Who else?" Pause. "Good, get her in. Is the rest of a team available?" Pause. "All right. Twenty-five minutes." She hung up.

She ran over to me, gave me the fastest peck of a kiss I'd ever received, and said, "I'm sorry."

She was out the door without an explanation.

I stared after her.

"Well. That was fun," I said to an empty house.

* * *

I finished my lunch and cleaned up, then called Bonnie.

"Hello, Sexy," she said.

I laughed. "Are you ever going to stop that?"

"Hell no," she said. "What's up?"

"I was wondering if you would like to come over for dinner tomorrow."

"Just me?"

"Yep."

"Should I bring my vibrator?"

I laughed. "Only if you need to self-satisfy to take the edge off before spending time with me. You can use the bathroom."

"Your bedroom would be better. With you watching."

"Maybe next time," I told her. "I'll take pictures."

She laughed. "Six PM?"

"Perfect."

* * *

My phone rang at six. I glanced at it. It was Gwendolyn.

"Hey," I said.

"Pamela?" she said in a small voice. I thought perhaps she was crying.

"Are you okay?"

"May I come over?"

"Where are you?"

"Hospital parking lot." Then it was quiet for a minute, and I thought I heard crying. "May I come over?"

"Of course. Do I need to come get you?"

"No. Twenty minutes." Then she hung up.

I made a fresh pot of tea and had it on the living room coffee table when the bell rang. I let her in. She had clearly been crying, but she had managed to compose herself. I held the door open, and as soon as the door was closed she was sobbing.

"Oh Gwendolyn," I said, pulling her into a hug.

She buried her face in my shoulder. I held onto her and tried to make soothing noises, slowly leading her to the sofa. She sat down and wrapped herself in me, still sobbing.

"Oh Gwendolyn," I said again, patting her back. "What happened?"

"She died," Gwendolyn said into my shoulder.

I didn't say anything right away. "I thought surgeons were immune to this."

She pulled away, her sobs temporarily under control.

"I was stupid," she said. "I let myself get involved. She was only eighteen. My patients are all old, sixty, seventy, eighty years old. They've lived full lives. I give them a few more, but I know they're going to die." She buried her face in my shoulder again and cried longer, telling me in bits and pieces the rest. "I was going to send her home tomorrow or Tuesday. She'd had an accident. I had repaired all the damage anyone found. We missed some."

She slowly stopped crying. "She reminded me of myself. Freshman in college, pre-med. She'd asked me questions about becoming a doctor. We talked for two hours after rounds on Thursday. I never talk to my patients except as patients." She paused, sniffling. "Stupid, stupid, stupid," she said. "I know better."

I pulled her back into a hug. "You're human."

"She was like me," she said. "Smart. Brilliant, really, and so full of hope for the future. And now she's gone. She would have been a brilliant doctor. She wanted to know about becoming a surgeon. She wanted to know if I loved it. So stupid to get emotionally involved. I know patients die."

"But not eighteen-year-
olds."

"No, not normally, not once they're on the mend."

Slowly she collected herself and pulled away. "I'm sorry, I had no right to call."

"Of course you did."

"It's just... Anyone else I might call, I'd end up in bed with. I thought perhaps you would feed me."

I smiled. "Pasta?"

She nodded. "I'm going to clean up."

"Do you like pesto?"

She nodded again.

"Take your time. I'll meet you in the kitchen."

We both got off the couch. Gwendolyn headed for the bathroom and I headed for the kitchen. I started heating water and digging through the cupboards when my phone rang. I grabbed it. It was Moira. I answered it.

"Hello, Moira."

"Hello, Pamela. Did I catch you at a good time?"

"Actually, I would love to talk to you, but-"

"You have someone there? A date?"

"Yes. And no. An emotional emergency."

"Right. I just called to hear your voice. Can you call me later? Or otherwise may i call tomorrow?"

"I'll try and yes."

We hung up, and I went back to digging through the cupboards and refrigerator. I had chicken breasts waiting for me along with a jar of pesto sauce. If I were trying to be fancy, I'd make my own, but this would be quick and easy. I found bell peppers and a tomato.

By the time Gwendolyn joined me, she was looking better. I was standing at the stove. She approached, but then stopped.

"Come here," I said. When she stepped up to me, I put my arm around her.

"I didn't want to presume."

"You may always touch me, Gwendolyn. I like being touched, it turns out."

"You didn't know that before?"

"No."

I showed her what I was cooking, then made her stir the vegetables, mostly to give her something to do.

"May I have another cinnamon roll?" she asked. "Or are they all gone?"

I laughed and pointed to the bread box. "You can nuke it if you want to warm it up."

Dinner didn't take long to prepare. "Did you want wine?" I asked her.

"Just a soda, please."

We ate in silence. She finished her meal and looked at me. "Thank you."

"You're welcome, Gwendolyn."

"I didn't know who else to call."

"You can always call me."

"Even after?"

"Our three dates? Yes."

She helped me clean up and we moved back to the living room sofa. We sat down, but she said, "I'm not staying."

"You're welcome to stay as long as you need," I told her.

"If I stay, I'm going to start trying to seduce you."

"I can fend for myself," I told her.

"If you turn me down, I'll take it personally. If you don't, I'll wonder if it's out of pity."

"You would take it personally if the straight girl turned you down for sex?"

"Straight girls don't kiss the way you do."

I smiled. She hugged me then stood up, pulling me up after her and leading me to the door. She turned to me and took me into a hug.

"Thank you," she said.

"You are welcome."

She separated and turned to go, but I pulled her back. "Uh uh," I said.

She smiled and stepped closer, then cupped my head in her hands and gave me a long, slow, sweet kiss. Sans tongue. And then she turned away and was gone.

* * *

I called Moira later. We talked for an hour and a half.

I thought about her as I fell asleep. I dreamt about Gwendolyn.

I was so confused.

I
went grocery shopping on the way home Monday night. I bought fresh salad fixings, had fun in the meat department, and picked up on some basic supplies that had been running short. I was going to do a basic stir fry over rice. I wanted to be able to focus on the conversation with Bonnie, not be engaged in a complicated meal.

I got home, changed into casual clothes, then headed to the kitchen. I put everything away that needed putting away, washed the vegetables, then began cutting them up.

Bonnie arrived a few minutes before six. She rang the bell and let herself in.

"Kitchen!" I yelled to her.

She appeared in the kitchen and I suppressed my reaction. She was dressed in date clothes. She looked stunning, of course, but she had clearly dressed to be attractive.

"Relax," she said. "I have a late date later." She grinned. "Coffee, tea or me," she said.

I laughed.

"But I could always cancel if you like what you see."

"No, no," I said. "I wouldn't want to be the cause for disappointment for whoever the lucky girl is."

She cocked her head. "Lucky girl?"

"I presume it's a woman and not a guy."

"Well yeah, but- Lucky?"

"Bonnie, you're a real catch. Of course, lucky."

That set her back. "You've never said that to me before."

"Sit," I said. "Dinner will be along shortly."

We made small talk while I cooked. Then she asked, "So, anyone earn her toaster oven yet?"

I laughed. "Not yet."

"Not yet?" I glanced over at her, and she had an eyebrow raised. "Not yet?!" She stared at me. "Oh shit."

"Don't jump to conclusions."

"Jump hell. You just shoved them at me." She started to look angry. "If anyone is going to earn a toaster oven, I saw you first!"

"Bonnie-"

"Shut up," she said, getting up and pacing around the kitchen. "If you're gay curious, I would happily have satisfied your curiosity."

"I'm not gay curious." I paused. "And it would have ruined our friendship."

She stepped up to me and stared into my eyes. "Oh hell, you're in love. Which one?"

I turned away, paying attention to the vegetables I was cooking. She turned me back to face her. "Which one?"

"I'm not in love," I told her. "Yet."

She stepped away, watching me. "Which one?"

I looked at the stove. "Both of them."

She began laughing. "Seriously?"

I looked over and nodded at her. "Please don't hate me."

"I don't hate you. If you were just doing this because you were curious, I'd be upset, but if it's love, well, that's different, isn't it?"

"Will you let me feed you before we talk about this further?"

She shrugged. "All right. But I want all the details." Then she promptly changed the subject to a movie she'd seen over the weekend.

I finished preparing the meal, and we sat down to eat. When we finally had a break, I said, "Bonnie, I need to know something."

"You want to know if I have a crush on you."

"Yes."

"I do, a little, but mostly I'm teasing. I'm not ruining my life waiting for you or anything. I just haven't found the right woman yet, so for now I'm just having fun." She paused. "If you hook up with either Gwendolyn or Moira, as long as it's love and not just lust, I'll be the first to cheer you on." She paused. "But if you're just curious, I'm right here."

I laughed. "I'm not saying this, but if I were. If I were curious, are you serious?"

"Absolutely. I've never earned a toaster oven."

"Please be serious."

She paused, thinking. "You're wondering if I would want to bed you for a one night, never to be repeated fling?"

"Yes."

"No."

"So if I'd given in to your advances?"

"I'd have gotten you naked, totally worked up, then told you, 'just kidding'."

"You wouldn't have."

"After the times you've done it to me! Hell yes, I would."

"I've never let it go that far."

"I have made some pretty stupid decisions a few times after you've let things progress a while before putting on the brakes. And I know you're doing it to tease me. Turnabout would be fair play."

"Really? Bonnie, I'm sorry."

"It's okay," she said. "I've had some amazing orgasms with Ms. Vibrator while thinking about you, too."

"You have not!"

"I most certainly have."

"Seriously?"

She nodded.

"You're not waiting for me or anything though?"

"No." She paused. "We make good friends. We would make lousy housemates. And you're right. A fling would ruin our friendship. It might be fun, but I can get fun somewhere else. I can't get a friend like you just by snapping my fingers."