Bill The Vampire - 01 (34 page)

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Authors: Rick Gualtieri

BOOK: Bill The Vampire - 01
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“I'm touched that you care,” she answered with her typical attitude. “He's gonna be out for a while. Cracked jaw and probably a concussion, but he should be fine. Harold, on the other hand, is going to have one hell of an APB out for him,” she finished with a smile, pleased at her own cleverness.

 

“Impressive,” I said.

 

“It was, wasn't it?” she agreed smugly.

 

“Yes, with one little exception.”

 

“What? Annoyed that I didn't consult with you first?” she sniffed.

 

“No,” I continued. “Annoyed because the cops are going to be after us, anyway.”

 

“You might want to catch up with the conversation,” she replied. “I just finished telling everyone that the cops would be after Harold.”

 

“Yes,
Harold
. Who just happens to be driving around in the same Escalade that we just happen to be driving in,” I said with just a trace of my own smugness.

 

She just stared at me with a blank look and then blurted out, “Oh, crap!”

 

“Oh, crap, is right,” I agreed. “Thus, I suggest we hightail it back to the city as soon as possible, and ditch the pimp mobile here at the first chance we get.”

 

For once, there was no dissent with something I had suggested.

 

Grudge Match

 

 

 

We parked the Escalade close to Flushing Meadows and, after a thorough wipe down for prints (
I wasn't worried so much for Sally, but Tom, Ed, and I were still on the grid, so to speak
), we ditched it and headed about a half mile south to grab the M train. It was a long ride back home with several transfers, but there was one high note to the whole thing. I don't think I've ever been this at ease riding the subway so late at night. Ed and Tom both looked fairly relaxed, too. Safety in numbers is great and all, but it doesn't beat traveling with two vampires, at least, one of whom has shown relatively little concern so far for silly things like human life. There were definitely some perks to this whole undead predator of the night thing.

 

We finally arrived back at our building in the wee hours of the morning. Well, at least we couldn't complain that it hadn't been a full day.

 

We stopped at the stoop of our apartment and I turned to Sally, “Heading back to SoHo?”

 

“In a bit,” she answered “just as soon as we plot out some next steps. We should have a contingency plan ready, in case Jeff is already on the warpath.”

 

“In other words, you're reluctant to leave my studly side,” I said with a grin.

 

“I'm no scholar of linguistics, but I'm fairly sure the English language doesn't allow words such as studly to appear in sentences about yourself,” she shot back.

 

Our little discourse, or as I liked think of it, foreplay, was cut short by Ed's voice from the top of the stairs.”

 

“Uh oh,” he said.

 

“Define
’uh oh’
,” I replied.

 

“This,” he said, stepping aside to give the front door a small push. It opened freely. “I haven't pulled out my key yet.”

 

“Someone could have left it unlocked,” I pointed out.

 

“More like someone kicked it in,” Tom said. “It looks like the lock is all busted.”

 

“Coincidence?” I asked Sally.

 

“Call me pessimistic, but I don't think you're going to get that lucky,” she said. She strode up the steps and told my roommates to stand aside. She looked over the area for a moment and then declared, “Vampire. But only one.”

 

“How can you tell?” I called up to her.

 

She pointed to her nose. “It's obvious. Can't you smell it?”

 

“We can do that?” I sheepishly asked back. I got an eye roll in return, which surprised me not at all.

 

“Should we get out of here?” Ed asked.

 

“No. I think he's gone,” she said, and then turned to me to add, “Yes, we can do
that,
too.” Bitch.

 

“Get out of my way,” I snarled, pushing past her to the door and then starting to walk up to my apartment. Tom and Ed followed right behind.

 

As we could have guessed, the door to the apartment had also been kicked in. Hell, it had almost been kicked in
half
. Whoever had been here had definitely been disinclined to take no for an answer.

 

“Motherfucker,” said Ed softly as we walked in. The place was trashed. Debris that had once been our belongings littered the floor, holes had been punched in the walls, and the couch had been utterly gutted.

 

“Think someone wanted to get our attention?” Tom asked, his tone attempting to be strong, but cracking a little at the edges.

 

“Maybe just a little,” I quipped back.

 

“Whoa,” Sally said as she entered. “Hope you guys were insured.”

 

I was going to say something to that, but Ed caught my attention.

 

“Please tell me this isn't what I think it is,” he said, pointing to the floor close to the kitchen.

 

I stepped over to him. The area was clear of debris with one notable exception. There was an arrow, drawn in some brown sludge-like substance, pointing toward the counter where the only thing that was left was our phone/answering machine.

 

“Looks like someone shit on the floor and then drew with it,” I said to Ed. Tom stepped up and echoed the sentiment.

 

“That's just
wrong
on so many levels,” Ed replied.

 

“I think,” Sally said, “that someone was trying real hard to make sure you didn't miss
that
.” She indicated the blinking light on the machine. Someone had left us a message.

 

My roommates and I looked at each other for a moment. I'm sure we all could guess whose voice would be awaiting us on the message. Well okay, they had never heard Jeff speak, but I'm sure they could make an educated guess if they had to.

 

“We should probably see who we need to send the cleaning bill to,” I said, pressing play. To the surprise of absolutely nobody, Jeff's voice started speaking back to us.

 

 

 

Hey, asshole. Nobody was home, so I let myself in. Hope you like what I did with the place. Gives it some character, don't you think?

 

 

 

This is just the opening course. I don't know if you heard or not, but your buddy, Ozymandias, is going to be out of town for a little while. What that means for you, Dr. Dead, is that his protection is now null and void. Your ass is mine, and don't think any of that freewill bullshit is going to save you.

 

 

 

Now you're probably thinking you might hightail it out of town and you still might, not that it would matter. I'd hunt you down and make you hurt for a long time. But just to give you some reason to stay and play, I have a little incentive for you. I got your mom, bitch.

 

 

 

“What?” I started to say, but Sally shushed me.

 

 

 

Say hello to your baby boy
... (
there was a distinctive sound of a female whimpering
) ...
that's enough
(
another sound, this time like someone being hit
).
Now I'm a fair master. If you do what I say, I might let your dear old mommy walk out of this alive. But you better hurry, because I'm getting hungry. There's an old warehouse down by the docks on West Tenth. Be there at dawn. I'll leave the front porch light on for you.

 

 

 

You show up, and I'll let you trade yourself for her. If you pussy out and run, she dies... badly. And then, I still hunt you down and kill you. Either way, you look at it, you come to an end. It's up to you whether you do it like a man or a dog. I'll be waiting.

 

 

 

“He has my mom?” I yelled, panic setting in.

 

“Calm...” Sally started to say, but I cut her off.

 

“Do
not
tell me to calm down! We are not even remotely close to the proximity of
calm down
here!”

 

“I take it that fucker was Jeff,” Ed commented. Sally nodded in response.

 

“Dude,” Tom said, sounding nearly as shocked as me. “We gotta save her.”

 

“No shit!” I rounded on him, causing him to jump back a little. “Sorry, man. Didn't mean that.”

 

He nodded to let me know it was cool, but then got that panicky look in his eye again, “What about your dad? He didn't say anything about him.”

 

“Oh, god!” I started to get a sinking feeling.

 

“Don't jump to conclusions,” Ed said, trying to exude some calm onto the situation. Yeah, good luck with that.

 

“What other conclusion is there?” I practically shouted. “What the hell did that fucker do to my parents? We have to go check on him!”

 

Tom just shook his head sadly, “We'll never made it down to Scotch Plains and back in time to save your mom.”

 

“Then you and Ed go check on my dad and I'll rescue Mom,” I countered.

 

“No way!” Tom replied. “You're not going in there solo.”

 

“I don't have a better plan, do you?” I asked.

 

“Call him,” said Ed.

 

“What?” Tom and I both asked.

 

“Call him,” he repeated. “If there's no answer, then call the cops. They'll get there a lot faster than any of us will. Besides which,” he put his hand on my shoulder, about the closest I'd ever seen him come to anything remotely like human sympathy, “you probably don't want to... find him.”

 

There was a moment of silence. He had a point, although I wasn't sure I was ready to face the awful truth just yet. I looked to Tom for guidance. He had known my parents for as long as we had been friends. I knew he was almost as messed up by this as I was.

 

“Do it,” he said.

 

I slowly picked the phone from the cradle. I hit the talk button and sure enough, there was still a dial tone. I hesitated for a few more seconds, and then dialed my parents’ phone number.

 

*ring*Who was I kidding? I was too late. I had failed my parents.

 

*ring*

 

He was gone. My father was gone.

 

*ring*

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